Inner Pondering

Nikki | Inner Pondering
  • 5.0 (4)
  • SPIRITUALITY
  • UPDATED MONTHLY

Welcome to Inner Pondering, a sacred space for the soul on its journey home. This podcast is for the quiet seekers walking through the fire of personal transformation—those who feel the pull toward a spiritual awakening, to heal emotionally, and to remember who they truly are. Each episode is a gentle yet honest conversation on navigating the "dark nights" of the soul, releasing what no longer serves, and returning to your inner truth. Through mindfulness, personal reflections, and soulful reminders, Nikki invites you to slow down, breathe, and reconnect with the wisdom already inside you. This isn’t about becoming someone new—it’s about the "unbecoming" of everything you’re not. It is a journey of spiritual growth and emotional healing, not by fixing your wounded parts, but by remembering the part of you that is already whole. When you finally listen to the quiet voice within… that’s when the real inner awakening begins.

  1. 1D AGO

    I Spent Years Trying to Control My Life—Here’s What I Learned

    Send a text For years, I believed that if I could just control everything—my emotions, my relationships, my spiritual practice—then I’d finally feel safe and at peace. But awakening didn’t feel like becoming more in control. It felt like everything I was gripping started to fall apart… and something much truer began to emerge. In this episode, I share: What “control” looked like in my day-to-day life (and how spiritual seeking became part of it)The moment I started to see that nothing real can actually be controlledHow awakening can feel like losing your life before you realize what’s really being lostThe difference between abandoning your life and releasing the illusion of controlWhat begins to open up when you stop managing yourself and let life move as it wants toThis is for you if: You’re exhausted from trying to “get it right” on your pathYou secretly feel like you’re failing at being a spiritual personYou’re scared that if you stop controlling, everything will fall apartYou’re sensing a quiet invitation to soften, but don’t know howIn this conversation, we explore themes of surrender, honesty, and the messy, human side of awakening. You don’t have to force a breakthrough or become some perfect awakened version of yourself. Nothing real needs your control to stay. 🌿 If this episode supports you, you can follow the show, leave a review, or share it with someone who’s also tired of trying to control everything. With love,  Nikki Thank you for listening! You are the one I come to meet. Please like and subscribe! My youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPJxl14CDr8T3XABTWWI_iQ

    17 min

  2. FEB 3

    Why I Stopped Caring. (The Honest Truth)

    Send us a text In this episode, Nikki explores the paradoxical freedom of "spiritual indifference"—why stopping the endless chase for approval isn't cold; it's the beginning of real love. We explore: Why "caring" is often just a mask for fear.The difference between apathy and true spiritual detachment.How to trust your own internal guidance system again when the world gets loud.Quote from the episode: "As soon as I stopped caring about how people felt, how people see me... something shifted. I had to choose myself. I had to come home to myself." Thank you for listening! You are the one I come to meet. Please like and subscribe! My youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPJxl14CDr8T3XABTWWI_iQ

    12 min

  3. JAN 21

    Why Needing Love Pushes It Away | Awakening to Relationships

    Send us a text Most people don’t realize this: the more you need love, the more it slips away. In this video, I share what my spiritual awakening taught me about relationships, why neediness repels love, and how the awakening process in relationships can reveal the truth about connection. We’ll explore why the search for love can feel so heavy, how the need for validation shapes relationships, and how awakening reveals the freedom of being whole within yourself. If you’ve ever felt like you’re chasing love but still ending up empty, this is for you. ✨ Topics covered: Why needing love pushes it away The energy of neediness in relationships Healing relationship patterns through awakening Soulmates as mirrors, not saviors Finding peace and wholeness in solitude This video is for anyone going through spiritual awakening and relationships, or learning to love themselves without needing external validation. Thank you for listening! You are the one I come to meet. Please like and subscribe! My youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPJxl14CDr8T3XABTWWI_iQ

    17 min

  4. JAN 14

    What You Consume, Consumes You -- A Reminder You Need

    Send us a text If you're constantly consuming spiritual content - videos, books, teachings - but still feel like something's missing, this is for you. I talk about the difference between consuming presence and actually resting in it. I spent years watching every spiritual teacher, reading every book, trying to understand awakening intellectually. Then I realized: all that consuming was keeping me from simply being here. What we'll explore: • Why consuming spiritual teachings can become another form of seeking • The difference between learning about presence and resting as presence • How spiritual content consumption keeps us in the mind • What happens when you stop consuming and just sit with what's here • The shift from seeking understanding to simply being This isn't about stopping all spiritual content. It's about recognizing when consumption becomes avoidance of the direct experience. Thank you for listening! You are the one I come to meet. Please like and subscribe! My youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPJxl14CDr8T3XABTWWI_iQ

    19 min

  5. JAN 7

    Forgiveness Isn’t What You Think It Is: Why It Feels So Hard

    Send us a text If forgiveness feels impossibly hard for you, there’s a good reason — and it’s probably not because you’re “too sensitive” or “not spiritual enough.” In this video, I talk about why forgiveness feels so hard, and how a lot of what we’ve been taught about it quietly works against our own heart. Most of us learned that forgiveness means forgetting, minimizing what happened, or rushing ourselves into being “over it” before we’re actually ready. Here, I offer a different way of seeing forgiveness — as a slow, honest form of  emotional healing  that starts inside of you, not a performance for other people. What we’ll explore: • Why forgiveness isn’t about pretending it didn’t hurt • How “forgive and forget” can deepen self‑betrayal • The quiet pressure to be the “bigger person” or more spiritual • Why your body resists forgiving before it feels safe • The link between forgiveness, anger, and grief • A gentler way to approach self‑forgiveness and inner healing This isn’t advice to stay in harmful situations or to minimize what happened to you. It’s an invitation to stop using forgiveness as a weapon against yourself, and to begin seeing it as a different kind of   emotional healing  — one that honors your timing, your boundaries, and your truth. If you’ve ever wondered: • “Why is it so hard to forgive someone who hurt me?” • “I want to forgive, but my body won’t let me — what’s wrong with me?” • “How do I practice forgiveness without spiritual bypassing?” — you’re not alone. My hope is that this gives you language for what you’ve been feeling, and a softer path forward. Thank you for listening! You are the one I come to meet. Please like and subscribe! My youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPJxl14CDr8T3XABTWWI_iQ

    23 min

  6. 12/24/2025

    Why Most of Your Decisions Aren’t Really Yours

    Send us a text Are you really making your own choices… or just following the identity the world gave you? Most of the decisions we think are ours are actually influenced by conditioning, fear, and what we’ve been taught to believe. In this episode, we explore: How identity secretly controls your decisions and choices Why the freedom you feel is often an illusion How awakening changes the way you see the world and yourself How to reconnect with your inner guidance and true self Practical ways to choose from presence instead of ego or fear If you’ve ever felt lost, unmotivated, or like life doesn’t make sense, this video will help you see the patterns keeping you stuck and guide you toward clarity, alignment, and self-trust. Thank you for listening! You are the one I come to meet. Please like and subscribe! My youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPJxl14CDr8T3XABTWWI_iQ

    21 min

  7. 12/17/2025

    Why Your Energy Feels Heavy Before You Wake Up

    Send us a text Have you ever wondered why your energy feels heavy, even when you haven’t done anything wrong? Before awakening, most of us carry inherited patterns, beliefs, and generational trauma without even realizing it. This energy becomes part of our identity—until spiritual awakening begins to clear it. In this episode, I explore why your energy feels heavy before you wake up and how awakening clears your energy without you even realizing it. You’ll learn how unconscious conditioning weighs you down, why shadow work and ancestral healing are part of the process, and how the shift into presence reveals your authentic self. Awakening is not just a mindset shift—it’s an energetic detox that brings clarity, peace, and freedom. Awakening can feel lonely, even misunderstood, as you let go of old identities, toxic patterns, and roles that no longer align. But this clearing is also divine protection—it removes what no longer belongs to you and makes space for your inner truth to shine. If you’ve been feeling the weight of inherited beliefs or asking why your energy feels so heavy, this message will help you see that the clearing is already happening. Awakening is the natural energy shift that reveals your authentic self. Thank you for listening! You are the one I come to meet. Please like and subscribe! My youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPJxl14CDr8T3XABTWWI_iQ

    17 min

  8. 12/10/2025

    Why Love Felt Like Longing Until I Awakened

    Send us a text If you’re healing from a version of love that cost you your peace — this message is for you. Many of us learned to chase love outside of ourselves before we ever learned to recognize the love already within. We confused attachment with connection… and survival with intimacy. But awakening changes that. The more you heal, the less you are willing to abandon yourself for love. In this video, we explore: • why love felt like longing instead of peace • how awakening shifts the relationships we choose • breaking patterns rooted in fear and people-pleasing • why self-worth becomes the foundation of real love • the quiet moment you realize love begins within Your healing isn’t making you harder to love — it’s inviting in a love that finally feels like home. Take a breath. You’re finding your way back to the love that was always yours. Thank you for listening! You are the one I come to meet. Please like and subscribe! My youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPJxl14CDr8T3XABTWWI_iQ

    7 min
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

Welcome to Inner Pondering, a sacred space for the soul on its journey home. This podcast is for the quiet seekers walking through the fire of personal transformation—those who feel the pull toward a spiritual awakening, to heal emotionally, and to remember who they truly are. Each episode is a gentle yet honest conversation on navigating the "dark nights" of the soul, releasing what no longer serves, and returning to your inner truth. Through mindfulness, personal reflections, and soulful reminders, Nikki invites you to slow down, breathe, and reconnect with the wisdom already inside you. This isn’t about becoming someone new—it’s about the "unbecoming" of everything you’re not. It is a journey of spiritual growth and emotional healing, not by fixing your wounded parts, but by remembering the part of you that is already whole. When you finally listen to the quiet voice within… that’s when the real inner awakening begins.

Information

  • Creator
    Nikki | Inner Pondering
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    112
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Inner Pondering
  • Show Website
    Inner Pondering