Conversations on marrying up the person we are on the inside, with the person we are on the outside. Join broadcaster Pipa Gordon taking a rummage through who we are and how we do life.
086 Hindsight is 2020
For the last episode of this year I threw open the floor to our facebook group and let them ask the questions via my husband Brian who added his beautiful mellow tones to the podcast! We talk about all the insights and learns from 2020, favourite conversations, hopes for 2021, George Clooney’s hair, padded pants, all sorts!
We have a competition in this week's episode to win a 2021 A4 Passion Planner. UK address to receive the prize, closing date midnight on 16th December 2020, entrants to email@example.com
Particular episodes we referred back to were:
Ellen Carr #81 – fascinating insight on our doshas #64 - let’s talk about racism #blm #62 with Angie Fadel – clocking shoulds Saying no – Mandy Saligari #70 …and of course there are loads more – plus episode #42 where I mention Robert Waldinger..
https://robertwaldinger.com/author/bob-waldinger/ and his TED talk “how to have a happy life”
You’ve been great company this year – do come and join in on the Facebook page, have a WONDERFUL Christmas, whatever it might look like and I look forward to talking to you on the other side xx
Terms and conditions of competition: UK residents only, closing date 16/12/20 and competition is in no way connected to Passion Planner or any other retailer of Passion Planner
085 Life, Loss & Lemonstones
This week we hear from Emma Simpson, scientist and writer, wife and mum, and someone who experienced multiple traumas over a short period of time that turned her life inside out and resulted in her developing clinical depression, followed by chronic fatigue syndrome and a mast cell disorder.
In this episode we hear Emma’s devastating story, about how she has learned to deal with PTSD and grief, about depression, anxiety, about over achieving, pushing away pain and the eventual breakdown that would see everything rise to the surface.
If it wasn’t for Emma’s friends and family, she says she wouldn’t have made it through. This is such a real and honest tale of how life can change overnight and that the only way through, is by taking one step at a time.
You can read Emma’s blog by clicking here you can also follow her on Instagram @lovelifelemonstones and if you’d like to get in touch with her for any coaching and conversation, then you can find her here on Linkedin. You can also find out more about The Winne Mabaso Foundation she mentioned here
Finally, the fabulous quote she shared with us is:
Ego says “once everything falls into place, I’ll find peace”
Spirit says “find your peace, and then everything will fall into place”
Finally, all the other episodes, show notes, links and ways to contact me are all on my website, pipagordon.co.uk and our Facebook group page
084 The Story You Tell Yourself
2020 has been hard in so many ways, but like in any trauma or tough time in life, how we cope is often determined by the story we choose to tell ourselves.
Here's a moving podcast illustrating how to find strength when we keep going anyway. Accepting who we are and where we are at, gives us so much power and once we find that place, we begin the journey of healing and freedom!
This episode is perfectly timed as so much change has occurred this year in all of our lives. Much of it for the better, but also with lots of trauma and sadness in the mix. Nina Chesworth's story is a real example of courage, determination and resilience. She has had to overcome trauma in a way that none of us would ever imagine. Having become severely short sighted after having the flu when just 2 years old, had multiple operations that would succeed and then fail after a time taking her through years of torture; then in her adult years, had 2 separate accidents that each involved losing an eye.
She kept strong for everyone else, until the final accident when she came apart and fell into a deep depression. Her resilience however, unfailing, eventually found the lifeline to pull her back out. She’s an inspiration and a true example of HOW to keep going when we are struggling to see the way forwards ….
In this incredibly inspiring episode we talk about how Nina has developed practices to maintain a good place when it comes to her mental health, how she manages the ongoing stress that comes from Charles Bonnet Syndrome, a syndrome of hallucinations that comes about with sight loss; she talks about how her friends and family have been her support line and how she's had to rebuild her life over and over, clinging on to the determination that protects her independence and ability to be productive, creative, help others and most importantly be a mum.
Nina has a degree in Design and art direction despite her visual impairment at the time, started her own business making her own handmade jewellery, and began the creative craft café in Manchester where people could come and express their creativity in order to help their mental health.
Nina continues to support others with their mental health all the while adjusting and working with her own. Our mental health is an ongoing journey and the tips and insights that she shares during this episode are doable for us all.
Do check out The Bridge and Sister Stories so if those sounded like they could be helpful to you, definitely take a look. Also remember that we have a Facebook group page where you are always safe to come and offload to those who will support you, and please remember, as Nina said, things always get better.
Nina's Blog - www.blindbbutsound.co.uk
Twitter account @blind_but_sound
Instagram and Facebook as @NinaChesworth
083 Why We Are Feeling Exhausted
This has been an immensely difficult year for everyone – in different ways we have made sacrifices, managed stress, illness, loss …the list for everyone is different. Whether its been isolation and loneliness, or fear for loved ones who you can’t see, or managing children whilst working, or desperately trying to find creative ways around running a business so that you can keep your head above water – we’ve all gone through it and everywhere I turn right now, people are tired, fed up, hanging on by a thread.
In the news this morning there was a piece on how anti social behaviour and abuse is escalating in supermarkets ….. but it really highlights the mental state that some are in, there are many fragile people walking around on the brink
So for my wrapping up of the people pleasing series, I want to finish with the importance of understanding how we are effected by life and what goes on around us and giving ourselves the freedom to roll with some punches – I don’t mean being tossed by the waves, we have a responsibility to manage how we respond to negative feelings but at the same time, it’s important that we acknowledge and understand what we are feeling – for ourselves.
We’ve been a generation of goal setting reach for the stars and that’s great, the world has offered so many opportunities to us however right now, it’s so much more important that we take the gas off, that we allow ourselves to feel our way through the rest of this pandemic, to be connected to our feelings so that we don’t come out the other side disorientated or burned out but instead, we come out grounded, knowing what really matters
One of the things this second lockdown highlighted for me was realising how quickly we had reverted back to life as we knew it pre Covid just in the last couple of months… shopping, seeing friends, people were having parties, meeting in restaurants, sitting close together …as if it had all gone away and we had forgotten. If anything, we can use this as a reminder that despite all the horrific things going on during lockdown, all the stresses and strains, we also all began to pair down and connect with the things that matter most.
A friend of mine tweeted this morning about how low she’s been feeling of late …. Brian and I were talking over coffee this morning about the exhaustion we are all feeling right now – he was saying it’s a bit like when you learn something new, your brain gets tired – and we’ve all had to learn so much “new” this year – in the past we could go to work, go to the shops, go on holiday, all on auto pilot without having to think, everything was so familiar to us and suddenly this year that has all changed, very little is familiar, we are always having to think, be aware, do things a different way – of course we are exhausted!
One of the things we have talked about over the last few weeks has been menopause as last month was menopause awareness month so add to that the influence on hormones in our lives, whether it’s your monthly cycle or hormone change in perimenopause or post menopause, add to that all the different stresses and strains being carried by those around us, add to that the not knowing of what’s ahead – yes the vaccines look really promising but we aren’t there yet – it’s difficult – let’s acknowledge that. .
The reason I’ve included this as the final part of the people pleasing series is because it is vital that as part of learning about who we are, about getting to know ourselves and be ourselves, that we also learn to be comfortable in ourselves during the difficult times and give ourselves what we need – rest, support, a good book, a podcast, a walk in the woods …whatever it might be. That we learn to lean on each other, feel our feelings, not sweep them under the carpet but allow ourselves to mirror the season
082 Just Keep (Cold Water) Swimming
Welcome to another episode of Inside My Wardrobe – I was originally going to call this “Keeeep Talking” as it’s Strictly Come Dancing season but then I remembered “just keep swimming, swimming swimming” – and I couldn’t really move on from that. You have to have seen the movie Nemo to get the title. “Just Keep Swimming” is Dory’s line, played by Ellen DeGeneres and her motto taught to her by her Mum, when life gets hard, to just keep swimming ….
This week’s guest came about after #76 “How To Eat And Be Happy” with therapist from the Recovery Centre, Michelle Scott talking about eating disorders – she asked if I would be interested to talk to Olivia Sharron – Founder of Chilly Dippers which is a cold water swimming community that is growing across the UK to encourage not just physical wellbeing but to help people find and develop natural coping mechanisms for dealing with every day stress and anxiety – which of course was a definite yes from me because I hand on heart believe that the more comfortable we are with ourselves, our emotions, our feelings and learning how to express them, the easier life gets – it doesn’t stop the mountains from standing in our way, but when you have confidence in every aspect of who you are and where you’ve been, you develop a strength that carries you forwards over mountains and through the storms which are inevitable – how boring would it be to sit on a beach all day every day? I’ve talked before about how I was going to spend a weekend with a group of friends walking up Snowdon and down again but as life would have it, a family emergency cropped up which meant I couldn’t go but when they all came back, no one talked about reaching the top, it was all about the journey and who struggled and who slipped and then the champagne in the hot tub afterwards – mountains are good particularly when we climb them with friends.
In this episode we talk about the importance of talking, of community, of looking around and seeing that we aren’t climbing the mountain on our own, so it’s important to express how we feel and then there’s this amazing effect that cold water swimming has – not just in the camaraderie around a hot chocolate afterwards, but also about how physically shocking your body into fight or flight helps bypass the mind and speed up the process of freeing our instinct to help us become people who have confidence in our own ability to cope when the going gets tough.
It’s been proven to:
Encourage Better sleep Improves circulation A Natural high Increases your metabolism Boosts your immune system Enhances happiness – releases endorphins Is great for the skin The premise of Chilly Dippers (www.chillydippers.com), is a mental health initiative set up by Olivia Sharron whilst at The University of Edinburgh to encourage more natural coping mechanisms for dealing with everyday stresses and anxieties. The focus is on how cold-water swimming and its mental and physical health benefits really takes people out of their normal routines, for even 5 minutes of something different to really help them gain some perspective of their worries. Olivia says “I had noticed too frequently, so many of my friends battling with mental health issues and not being able to speak about it. Luckily, through the many ‘Chilly Dips’ I have hosted up in Edinburgh and in London’s Serpentine Lido - we have been able to challenge the taboo around mental health through opening up opportunities for likeminded people to share their stories / or simply just engage in a fun, outdoor activity”.
You’ve heard me waxing lyrical about the benefits of Japanese practise of forest bathing. It has been proven that intentionally spending time around trees, walking through woods and forests lower heart rate and blood pressure, reduces stress hormone product
081 Balancing Your Dosha
During this episode we talk with writer and holistic therapist Ellen Carr about connecting with our bodies at a deep level so that we can discover who we are and find fulfilment and joy in life. We talk about how the seasons around us affect us according to our Dosha, we talk about masculine and feminine energy, how the Western culture in which we live promotes more of a goal based masculine existence which pushes us away from the nurture and reflective nature of the feminine energy. We all need both, but as a society, we have become incredibly linear which isn’t good for us so we talk about lots of different ways we can find balance and develop non-linear ways of being that will help us to feel good about and connected to our lives. It’s a beautiful conversation laden with wisdom and once again, lots of food for thought.
You can find all the information we talked about by clicking this link to Ellen’s website http://being-change.com/ take the Dosha quiz if you’re up for it and come and find me on my website or social media :) and here's the story of the fisherman:
There was once a businessman who was sitting by the beach in a small Brazilian village.
As he sat, he saw a Brazilian fisherman rowing a small boat towards the shore having caught quite few big fish.
The businessman was impressed and asked the fisherman, “How long does it take you to catch so many fish?”
The fisherman replied, “Oh, just a short while.”
“Then why don’t you stay longer at sea and catch even more?” The businessman was astonished.
“This is enough to feed my whole family,” the fisherman said.
The businessman then asked, “So, what do you do for the rest of the day?”
The fisherman replied, “Well, I usually wake up early in the morning, go out to sea and catch a few fish, then go back and play with my kids. In the afternoon, I take a nap with my wife, and evening comes, I join my buddies in the village for a drink — we play guitar, sing and dance throughout the night.”
The businessman offered a suggestion to the fisherman.
“I am a PhD in business management. I could help you to become a more successful person. From now on, you should spend more time at sea and try to catch as many fish as possible. When you have saved enough money, you could buy a bigger boat and catch even more fish. Soon you will be able to afford to buy more boats, set up your own company, your own production plant for canned food and distribution network. By then, you will have moved out of this village and to Sao Paulo, where you can set up HQ to manage your other branches.”
The fisherman continues, “And after that?”
The businessman laughs heartily, “After that, you can live like a king in your own house, and when the time is right, you can go public and float your shares in the Stock Exchange, and you will be rich.”
The fisherman asks, “And after that?”
The businessman says, “After that, you can finally retire, you can move to a house by the fishing village, wake up early in the morning, catch a few fish, then return home to play with kids, have a nice afternoon nap with your wife, and when evening comes, you can join your buddies for a drink, play the guitar, sing and dance throughout the night!”
The fisherman was puzzled, “Isn’t that what I am doing now?”
Excellent podcast, everything I need to startup my life...
Give yourself the gift of listening
This is an amazing podcast and now that I’ve finally figured out how to post a review I want to do it justice. I felt as if I had discovered a rare jewel when I stumbled upon this podcast. Pipa is an incredibly talented interviewer, listener, “learner,” teacher, challenger-of-the-mind as well as comforter-of-the-mind. Each and every podcast gives you hope, a clearer perspective on things, a desire to be more than you are, and the courage to try to be the best YOU you can be for the good of yourself and everyone around you. Her voice alone carries joy and you can actually feel her smile across the airwaves. Thank you, Pipa, for always giving me at least one thing to look forward to on Thursdays!:)