INSTANT EXPERTS - the latest news, explained by idiots

Instant Experts
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A comedy podcast featuring all the week's news - explained by idiots.  Hosted by The Honk & Henry Lee -- it's the stuff you wanna know, from guys who don't know it. The final insult? They're Australian. Listen to us everywhere! https://linktr.ee/instantexpertspodcast Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/instantexperts Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@instantexpertspodcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61574477592971 X: https://x.com/instantexpertsx

  1. 3D AGO

    Instant Experts S2 - Ep 52 - FORGET IRAN, WORLD - IT’S THE PAM BONDI MASSACRE!

    Send us a text here! Video version of ep is here! https://youtu.be/63_tWTAjsuA In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons: It’s Iran week 5 and the Distract-O-Meter hits 11 as another Friend of the Show departs! US Attorney-General Pam Bondi is boned to distract from Iran, which was supposed to distract from The Epstein Files, that we admit Our Pam f*cked up monumentally, but it’s hard when the President is guilty as fark!'Pam Bondi: Worse Lawyer or Worse Person?' AG of Hell decides!Pam retorts: “Better to die on your feet than work on your knees! But you’re still the best President since [muffled, unintelligble]” And so much more in another bumper episode of Instant Experts - in which the US wargames how to open thing that was open before and Donald Trump fumbles around trying to find The Strait of Clitorz!: The Dow goes down like BJ Vance at a Cabinet meeting, hitting 46,000 and fallingTrump celebrates Easter, Jesus’ message of sacrifice and love by bombing the sh*t out of some MuzziesDavey the Escape Goat wishes The Lord was his Shepherd instead of “Pedro the Lonely”, after darkPlus, Teresa the co-ed proves Hell is exothermic, the hard way!Then the hits keep coming like the Crowes in the ‘90s, Stones in ‘73: Aussie PM Anthony Albanese addresses the nation but forgets the postcode, envelope, letter and stampDonald Trump addresses his nation, shouting “Person Woman Man Camera TV!” sorry, “Iran Vietnam Afghanistan Covfefe!”US Def Sec Pete Hegseth sacks Chief of The Army for refusing his stupid orders, then sacks his stockbroker for acting on themAnd Wests Tigers beat Jonathan the Giant Tortoise in a thriller! In the comedy podcast with all the latest news, explained by idiots - The Honk and Henry Lee. (Geoff Provest MP (Nat, NSW) in mandatory online security course led by Ihaq Duhmquns Aqawntz, IRGC, Tehran) Say hi to us by email at gday@instantexperts.com.au Or be heard everywhere from St Bart’s to Saint Helena with a voicemail to play on the show, right from our home page: www.instantexperts.com.au  All complaints to kashpatel@notthatkashpatelthiskashpatel.com.au Audio produced, compiled, re-mixed and mastered by Junior Video assembled, edited, and designed by the Guantanamo Babe Episode edited by Honk with assistance from Buffy the Wombat and twins, absolutely no assistance from Telstra who suck c*cks Digital design & social media by Guantanamo Babe. You rock! Watch or Listen anywhere! https://linktr.ee/instantexpertspodcast Sign up for news! https://www.instantexperts.com.au Follow us on X - don’t tell Elon!: https://x.com/instantexpertsx?s=21&t=YN4hCwCCP5pK0y2nNGRAyA Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/instantexperts Follow us on Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@instantexpertspodcast Follow on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61574477592971

    46 min

  2. MAR 28

    Instant Experts S2 - Ep 51 - The Latest on Iran, HORMUZ STRAIT TO YOU!

    Send us a text here! For video version: https://youtu.be/zq89KV6DrIs It’s Iran week 4 and the end game is clear: peace, war, stalemate or starvation! Meanwhile world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons blow things up while they still can:  Iran blows up 17% of 20% of the world’s LNG supplies at Ras Laffan - World discovers LNG is useful the hard way!The US blows up Iran’s power supplies, but only on Truth Social! Trump describes ancient Shamshir sword at his testicles as “very good and productive” Israel blows up Hezbollah in South Lebanon for the first time this week - Neighbours request they keep the noise down a littleWests Tigers blow up their NRL Premiership chances in just 2 weeks! All this and so much more in another bumper episode of the show critics rave is "showcasing the slow death of Western civilisation": Henry Lee uses the Haber-Bosch process to convert methane to ammonia; Trump family uses same process to convert inside information into cash!'Dynasty: Israel''s Linda Evansyahu takes Joan Khollins off her kill list ahead of this week’s peace talks. But only for 48 hrs, biatch!OnlyFans founder dies at age 43, presumably of exhaustion; Polymarket makes shock takeover bid to form OnlyPolyFans (Headquarters: Utah)!Regular listener The Moose leaves Clermont-Ferrand for The Angel, Islington, cos he got 4 houses and a hotel for $250!Robert Mueller dies peacefully, surrounded by family, reassuring them “that muthaf*cka guilty as hell!"And in sport, Starsky & Hutch combine for record partnership at Theo Kojak field - smashing one set by Scarecrow & Mrs King!In the comedy podcast with all the latest news, explained by idiots - The Honk and Henry Lee (RFK Jr. held up by dead p***y on side of road, attached to dead cat) Say hi to us by email at gday@instantexperts.com.au Or be heard everywhere from Bright (Vic) to Vancouver (Darwin) with a voicemail to play on the show, right from our home page: www.instantexperts.com.au  All complaints to missedmondson@liquidlunches.nz.edu Audio produced, compiled, mixed and mastered by Junior  Video compiled, designed and edited by the Guantanamo Babe Episode edited by Honk with intermittent assist from Guantanamo Babe and James Jackson, Sacramento, He/Him, Democratic Socialists of America. Hold your applause, please - it’s triggering! Digital design & social media by Guantanamo Babe. Thank you! Watch or Listen anywhere! https://linktr.ee/instantexpertspodcast Sign up for news! https://www.instantexperts.com.au Follow us on X - don’t tell Elon!: https://x.com/instantexpertsx?s=21&t=YN4hCwCCP5pK0y2nNGRAyA Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/instantexperts Follow us on Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@instantexpertspodcast Follow on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61574477592971

    49 min

  3. MAR 20

    Instant Experts S2 - EPISODE 50 AND IRAN WEEK 3! Iran's Out of Leaders, Australia's Out of Gas!

    Send us a text here! Video version is here: https://youtu.be/jbBgLy_TRLM We celebrate our 50th official episode* with some of our favourite Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons. While we still can!: Show Patron Donald J Trump beats Iran for the third week in a row. But can he beat the Wests Tigers at Leichhardt?DNI-hire Tulsi Gabbard shares her intelligence on Iraq: “I think it’s spelled I-R-A-N, but that’s The President’s decision”Ayatollah-For-Now Whoda Faqizzi gets a shock boob job in Russia. He looks Hot-Az-Faq!And The Honk takes cover in the IE Situation Room to watch the Adult Film Oscars. It’s “Straights, Whores and Moos” by unanimous decision!All this and so much more in another bumper episode of Instant Experts - brought to you by AMPOL. Fill your tank, listeners, for just 3 gold bars and a kidney!: NATO rushes to help clear The Straits of Hormuz - right after Oktoberfest, Guy Fawkes’ Night and NYEJapanese PM conceals hand re Pearl Harbour II - the one with nukes and no Josh HartnettAustralia runs low on petrol, avgas, diesel, Johnny Diesel, and Johnny Diesel and The Injectors. You never miss your water til you’re dry!Sneaky Norway cheekily buys 1.5% of the world - and The Honk!Henry lilos down The Danube into unexpected Northern Territory!Plus Grace Tame announces date for Thich Quang Duc Self-Immolation Title Match - "It all happens October 7. Unless it happens to Jews, then it didn't"In the comedy podcast with all the latest news, explained by idiots - The Honk and Henry Lee Scripts may have been written by Sen. Markwayne Mullin (R-OK), but that information is classified.  Say hi to us by email at gday@instantexperts.com.au Or be heard everywhere from Bratislava to Belgrade with a voicemail to play on the show, recorded right from our home page: www.instantexperts.com.au  All complaints to afroman@yowifeslemonpoundcake.com Audio produced, mixed and mastered by Junior Video compiled, edited and designed by Guantanamo Babe Episode edited by The Honk with intermittent assistance from Guantanamo Babe and 'Fleur' (definitely not part of Iranian regime DEATH TO THE JE-- DAMN IT!!) Digital design & social media by Guantanamo Babe. Eternal Gratitude! *It’s actually 55 episode with best ofs, double eps and our mini-ep excuses for not recording, but who's counting, except The Honk, obsessively? (Answer: Henry) Watch or Listen anywhere! https://linktr.ee/instantexpertspodcast Sign up for news! https://www.instantexperts.com.au Follow us on X - don’t tell Elon!: https://x.com/instantexpertsx?s=21&t=YN4hCwCCP5pK0y2nNGRAyA Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/instantexperts Follow us on Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@instantexpertspodcast Follow on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61574477592971

    49 min

  4. MAR 13

    Instant Experts S2 - Ep 49 - IRAN WEEK 2: ARE WE THERE YET?

    Send us a text here! Video version is here!: https://youtu.be/b6XbBM3Wgug In our latest tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons: It’s week 2 of the AFL, the NRL and the big clash between IRAN and USA! Will America’s league-leading offence beat Iran’s league-leading defence? We mine the Straits of Hormuz to find out!Will Ukraine’s expertise repelling Russian drones made by Iran funded by America help America repel Iranian drones funded by Russia? And will the new new Ayatollah survive to hear next week’s Episode 50 Golden Jubilee? We talk to the “People’s Tyrant”, Supreme Leader Whoda Faqizzi!All this and so much more in another bumper episode of Instant Experts, hailed by critics as "more confused about world affairs than ever"!   Kristi Noem says an emotional goodbye to public office: “I just wish I could have shot more people! Ex Aussie PM ScoMo brings his marketing expertise to Iran at last - Inbound missile tourism has never been higher!The Iran Women’s Football team gets it all wrong in the Asian Cup, losing all 3 matches BEFORE staging a trial game between Defectors and Non-Defectors. Defectors win 6-5 in a thriller!And Wests Tigers prepare for Round 1 with a thumping win over Tottenham Hotspur!In the comedy podcast with all the latest news, explained by idiots - The Honk and Henry Lee (Andrew Tate held up in Dubai (by his balls in solitary))  Reaching all corners of the world INCLUDING the Paris of the North, D-D-D-D-D-A-R-W-I-N! Say hi to us by email at gday@instantexperts.com.au Or be heard everywhere - including on 0300 conference calls with Boston - with a voicemail to play on the show, right from our home page: www.instantexperts.com.au   All complaints to kristiluvscorey@cellblockh.sv Audio produced and mixed by Junior  Video design & compile by Guantanamo Babe Episode edited by The Honk with assistance from Guantanamo Babe and Pat the Chatty Irish Robot  Digital design & social media by Guantanamo Babe. God bless you! Watch or Listen anywhere! https://linktr.ee/instantexpertspodcast Sign up for news! https://www.instantexperts.com.au Follow us on X - don’t tell Elon!: https://x.com/instantexpertsx?s=21&t=YN4hCwCCP5pK0y2nNGRAyA Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/instantexperts Follow us on Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@instantexpertspodcast Follow on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61574477592971

    48 min

  5. MAR 7

    Instant Experts S2 - Ep 48 - IRAN FOR MY LIFE! MIDDLE EAST'S 4 MONTH PEACE NIGHTMARE IS OVER!

    Send us a text here! To watch the video version on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Vxx9PQP2LqY In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits & Morons: After 249 gruelling days of no-one bombing the sh*t out of each other, Israel, Iran and The US are ready for MIDDLE EAST ELIMINATION CHAMBER - the WWE/WW3 co-production everyone's talking about! It’s Mania in Mesopotamia as the Tigris and Euphrates square off at last! Who’s the greatest river of them all? Shatt Al-Arab reports! Can *anyone* beat Donald “The Predator” Trump and his signature move - The MASSIVE DUMP from on high?Will Honk’s minesweeper get him safely to his deal of a lifetime at the Taj Dubai - Or will a big hostile torpedo penetrate The Dire Straits of Hormuz / Epstein?All this & more in another bumper episode of 'Instant Experts', hailed by critics as "more out of their depth than ever!": We share our fascinating insights into the shitshow in Iran! Or is it just a fracas? An imbroglio? One thing fo’ sho’. It ain’t no wo’! Not for another 59 days anyway!US Defence Sec Pete Hegseth gets bombed at Davo’s, while the Sri Lankan First VIII rows out to rescue the 32 survivors of the Iranian ship he just wasted! Newly ex-Homeland Security Sec Kristi Noem deports radio's Jackie O to El Salvador (and shoots her dog) while Kristi and Kyle Sandilands contemplate career next steps. Have they tried LinkedIn4 F*ckwits.com?Israel says CU Next Thursday to Hezbollah! Except since their Sabbath is Friday, they're 2 days ahead. So CU Next Tuesday. But you get the idea!Melania hosts the UN Security Council for the first time. Official doco “Fisted by First Lady!” a huge hit online! Plus Canada PM Mark Carney brings sexy back. So much trade! So many routes! Bi-lateral relations go deep!In the comedy podcast with all the latest news, explained by idiots - The Honk and Henry Lee* *Just two middle-aged halfwits, wittering Say hi to us by email at gday@instantexperts.com.au Or be heard everywhere - including by the many progeny of Ashby-de-la-Zouch - with a voicemail to play on the show, right from our home page!: www.instantexperts.com.au   All complaints to bombed@fordos.gov.ir Audio produced and mixed by Junior Episode edited by The Honk, with intermittent assistance from the Guantanamo Babe and Abull Sheyeet, Islamic Iran Information Centre (Non-Murder of Own Population Div.)  All scripts wrongly attributed by The Honk to Stevie Wonder Digital design + social media by Guantanamo Babe. Bless you! Kyle Sandilands' 'All Muzzis Iz C*ntzs' out now only on Reddit! Watch or Listen anywhere! https://linktr.ee/instantexpertspodcast Sign up for news! https://www.instantexperts.com.au Follow us on X - don’t tell Elon!: https://x.com/instantexpertsx?s=21&t=YN4hCwCCP5pK0y2nNGRAyA Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/instantexperts Follow us on Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@instantexpertspodcast Follow on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61574477592971

    49 min

  6. FEB 27

    Instant Experts S2 - Ep 47 - WHAT'S THE STATE OF THE UNION? IT SUCKS!

    Send us a text here! Video version of episode here!: https://youtu.be/G3d7tFVI5Nc It’s State of the Union time and the Crooks, F***wits and Morons are winning more than ever! United States Supreme Court rules President Trump’s 15% tariff on IQ Tests illegal! He’s stuck on 85 - or was that 58? - and needs urgent tuition from WhatsApp maths guru Henry Li!Honk and Henry wade through more Epstein Files only to find key interviews with Trump accuser missing! If that’s not exoneration, we don’t know what is. Assuming 'exoneration' means GUILTY AS HELL!Industrial terrorists The Construction Forestry Mining and Energy Union join forces with The Crooks F***wits and Morons Union to form c*nty supergroup The CCFFMMEUU! VicGov chips in $15b saying “it was supposed to be $10b but it’s time-and-half”US Dept of Justice gags Epstein victims but loses shock legal battle with Georgia the Gentoo Penguin! Says Georgia: “My Island will be Heard!"And in sport, the US Men’s Ice Hockey Team celebrates gold with ceremonial punching out of teeth, then goes down on Trump like Pam B under a lectern! All this and so much more in another bumper episode of the show critics say is  "inexplicably still being made": Jez from Ouagadougou risks everything for love - the love of a Big Turk called Cockburn!Honk pulls the US Constitution out of his daks - or was it his arse? - and STILL understands it better than The President!Referral queen 'Di from Bondi' proves herself a far superior human to Pam from Bondi - mind you that's not hard!Kings Charles I, II, III contemplate their collective ill fortune. Forget “Divorced, beheaded, died” - try “Beheaded, poisoned, brother to a child molester!”Honk’s Tourette’s, Klan Membership kick in again mid-episode. Henry feels sorry for the ***** ******* ****!And Winter Olympics champ Eileen Gu splits the atom with thanks to Tencent, Alibaba and New York Fashion Week! In the comedy podcast with all the latest news, explained by idiots - The Honk and Henry Lee* *Just two middle-aged white guys killing you softly with our drivel. (Vale Roberta Flack)  Say hi to us by email at: gday@instantexperts.com.au Or be heard everywhere including numerous regions of Romania, with a voicemail to play on the show, done right from our home page: www.instantexperts.com.au   All complaints to: FUCKICEbill@nj.gov Audio produced, mixed and compiled by Junior  Episode edited by DoJ staffer who left one of the interviews with Trump’s accuser in the files, with intermittent assistance from The Guantanamo Babe and The Honk Digital design & social media by The Guantanamo Babe. Legend! Watch or Listen anywhere! https://linktr.ee/instantexpertspodcast Sign up for news! https://www.instantexperts.com.au Follow us on X - don’t tell Elon!: https://x.com/instantexpertsx?s=21&t=YN4hCwCCP5pK0y2nNGRAyA Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/instantexperts Follow us on Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@instantexpertspodcast Follow on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61574477592971

    48 min

  7. FEB 21

    Instant Experts S2 - Ep 46 - FULLY UNREDACTED VIDEO EDITION!

    Send us a text here! It’s the FIRST EVER VIDEO EDITION OF INSTANT EXPERTS! And like us, more Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons have revealed themselves! Ex-Prince Andrew swaps underage girls for well-endowed cellmates! Now we know why it’s called “His Majesty’s Prison”!President Gerald Ford makes a shock return to US foreign policy! Watch out Iran - there’s nothing more dangerous than a dead man with guns!The Epstein Files end more careers. Including that of The DoJ’s Chief Redacter, who XXXXX Trump XXXXX Bondi XXXXX paedophiles!And, like the Winter Olympics, the Aussie Liberal Party runs out of condoms. Cos it’s completely f*cked!All this and more in another bumper episode critics are calling "Really? That's what they look like? Good lord": The Aussie T20 World Cup cricket team loses to Andorra, Liechtenstein and San Marino - we preview their must-win clash against Vatican City!Norwegian sports legend Johannes Høsflot Klæbo skis into history, winning The Romp In The Snow 12-1 over Canada’s plucky Wild Beavers!  The footage was quite something, but sadly our correspondent was too drunk to report!Aussie bank Westpac kidnaps the late Mother Teresa as collateral for $3 loan to her orphanage - “Rules are rules and dead nuns are a credit risk!” Louisiana legend Rutledge Deas IV challenges President Trump to world’s first “Dump Off” - ahead of heavyweight clash, Trump calls his Big Mac-fuelled preparation “very strong”And The Rev Jesse Jackson sings his last number - the timeless classic “Sorry About the Illegitimate Child, Darling, Please Focus on My Overall Career”In the comedy show with all the latest news, explained by idiots - The Honk and Henry Lee*  *Just two middle-aged white guys, with a podcast, sitting in front of a camera, asking you to listen Say hi to us by email at gday@instantexperts.com.au Or be heard everywhere (except Darwin!), with a voicemail to play on the show, recorded right from our home page: www.instantexperts.com.au  All complaints to mountedbatten@wormwoodscrubs.gov.uk Produced, mixed and compiled by Junior Edited by The Flying Scotsman, with intermittent assist by The Honk and also Epstein's super close friend XXXXX Digital design & social media by Guantanamo Babe. Thank you! Watch or Listen anywhere! https://linktr.ee/instantexpertspodcast Sign up for news! https://www.instantexperts.com.au Follow us on X - don’t tell Elon!: https://x.com/instantexpertsx?s=21&t=YN4hCwCCP5pK0y2nNGRAyA Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/instantexperts Follow us on Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@instantexpertspodcast Follow on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61574477592971

    50 min

  8. FEB 13

    Instant Experts Season 2! Ep 45 - WE’RE BAAAAAACK! AND SO ARE THE CROOKS, F*WITS & MORONS! BIG TIME!!!

    Send us a text here! It’s Season 2 of Instant Experts and, like us, the Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons have gone next-level: Trump successfully takes over Venezuela - a mysterious land of high-quality coke and low-quality oil!Trump unsuccessfully takes over Greenland and Minnesota - mysterious lands of fire, ICE and getting shot in the face! Canada PM Mark Carney dumps Trump; In Aussie politics, The Nats dump The Libs; Trump dumps Norwegian PM Orm Bjorn Ulfurhydrodin; and hot Norwegian WAG dumps love rat biathlete Thorbjorn Sinjonsinjonssonssonson - you shot your last shot, vennen min!All this and so much more in our bumper comeback special: US AG Pam Bondi takes a break from drinking the blood of small children to protect the 1400 rich guys in The Epstein Files r*ping themSeriously, the new batch of The Epstein Files is F*CKED UP. And half are still redacted! The Honk does a deep dive, then pukes into a very large bucketWashed up WWE star Bad Bunny tries his hand at music instead. Get real amigo! You've got a better chance of winning the Super BowlMeanwhile at TPUSA Circle Jerk LX, Kid Rock lip synchs his smash hit 'Balls In Your Mouth' - with Trump’s balls in *his* mouth! Let’s hope the Presidential Diaper was clean!And in long overdue good news, a 13yo Aussie hero swims 4 hours through shark-infested waters to save his Mum. What a champion! Celebrate with Guns 'n'  Roses 'Sweet Child O' Mine' like you never heard it except in hellIn the comedy podcast with all the latest news explained by idiots - The Honk & Henry Lee. We’re tanned, rested and on parole!  Say hi to us by email at gday@instantexperts.com.au Or be heard around the world with a voicemail to play on the show, right from our home page: www.instantexperts.com.au  Maybe you’ll become famous in Darwin! All complaints to pam.bondi@ballsinmymouth.gov Produced, mixed and compiled by Junior  Episode edited by Delcy Rodriguez, with intermittent assistance from The Honk*  *Once again, Maria Machado not invited. But Honk appreciated the medal.  Digital design & social media by Guantanamo Babe Good luck Jake Paul in his upcoming James Van Der Beek fight! Watch or Listen anywhere! https://linktr.ee/instantexpertspodcast Sign up for news! https://www.instantexperts.com.au Follow us on X - don’t tell Elon!: https://x.com/instantexpertsx?s=21&t=YN4hCwCCP5pK0y2nNGRAyA Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/instantexperts Follow us on Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@instantexpertspodcast Follow on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61574477592971

    55 min
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A comedy podcast featuring all the week's news - explained by idiots.  Hosted by The Honk & Henry Lee -- it's the stuff you wanna know, from guys who don't know it. The final insult? They're Australian. Listen to us everywhere! https://linktr.ee/instantexpertspodcast Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/instantexperts Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@instantexpertspodcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61574477592971 X: https://x.com/instantexpertsx

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