IVF DADDIES

Richard Westoby & Julio Gaggia

The fertility industry will take $200,000 from you before anyone explains what you're actually doing. We fix that. IVF. Surrogacy. Egg donation. Real costs. Real timelines. What clinics don't tell you. What lawyers bury in contracts. What no one warns you about until it's too late. Richard Westoby navigated this for 14 years. Julio Gaggia decoded it so you don't have to start from zero. Start with Episode 1. Hit follow. Then make better decisions. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. The independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.

  1. APR 29

    96) "I WOULD NEVER BE A DAD IF IT WEREN'T FOR HIM" | CANDY CRASH

    Candy Crash spent 25 years believing she was not allowed to want a family. Ten weeks ago, she became a dad. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Parenthood Journey 01:16 The Emotional Growth of Becoming a Parent 03:21 Experiences as an Au Pair and Changing Perspectives 05:02 Support Systems in Same-Sex Parenting 09:31 Balancing Organization and Creativity in Parenting 13:38 Trusting Professionals in the Surrogacy Process 16:34 The Role of the Surrogate and Building Relationships 20:34 Navigating the Surrogacy Process 23:19 Patience and Emotional Challenges in Surrogacy 25:44 Public Life and Private Struggles 28:20 Positivity in the Face of Adversity 30:46 Education Through Visibility and Love 32:57 Conclusion and Hope for Future Parents Candy Crash spent 25 years believing she was not allowed to want a family. Ten weeks ago, she became a dad. One of Germany's biggest drag queens, a graphic designer, a YouTuber, and now a parent through surrogacy in the US, Candy joins Julio and Richard for one of the most honest conversations this podcast has ever had about what the surrogacy journey actually feels like from the inside. Not the process. The feeling. The waiting. The grief of finding out one embryo took instead of two. The surrogate who was shy on the first call and offered to carry again before the baby was even born. The moment you realize the most important project of your life depends entirely on trusting people you have never met. Candy also talks about going public on social media as a queer parent, why she fights hate with education instead of anger, and the messages she gets from strangers who watched her journey and quietly changed their minds. If you have ever wondered whether a family like this is possible for someone like you, this episode is the answer. Guest: Candy Crash, drag queen, content creator, Hollywood Mom podcast host, and new dad.Instagram: @thecandycrashPodcast: Hollywood Mom on Spotify Keywords: surrogacy, gay dads, queer parenting, LGBTQ family, surrogacy journey, drag queen, intended parents, IVF, trust, visibility, queer family, same sex parents, surrogacy process, gay surrogacy, becoming a dad

    34 min
  2. APR 22

    95) EGG DONATION & SURROGACY: WHAT NOBODY TELLS YOU BEFORE YOU SPEND $200,000

    Most people start this journey knowing the cost. Nobody warns them about everything else. Katy Encalade has been a surrogate herself. Now she runs one of the most respected egg donation and surrogacy agencies in the US. This conversation is the one most intended parents wish they had before they started. What you will actually hear in this episode: Why two years is the real timeline and why anyone who tells you less is setting you up to fail. Why an agency that says they have plenty of surrogates available should make you stop and ask harder questions. Why obsessing over genetics in your egg donor search might mean you are missing the question that actually determines your outcome. Why the match matters more than the speed. Every time. Why the families who struggle most are the ones who were told what they wanted to hear. This is not a hope conversation. This is a preparation conversation. If you are at the beginning of this journey or stuck somewhere in the middle, this episode gives you language for what you are actually going through. CHAPTERS 00:00 Introduction 02:58 Understanding the Egg Donation Process 05:38 Navigating the Surrogacy Journey 08:33 The Importance of Patience 11:29 Matching with Egg Donors and Surrogates 14:15 Financial Aspects of Surrogacy 16:50 Red Flags and Green Flags in Agencies 19:21 Feeling Alone in the Journey 22:01 Simplifying the Process CONNECT WITH KATY ENCALADE Website: https://createahappyfamily.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/createahappyfamily LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/katyencalade Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.

    32 min
  3. APR 1

    94) SURROGACY LAW JUST CHANGED IN YOUR FAVOR: WHAT EVERY LGBTQ+ FAMILY NEEDS TO KNOW NOW

    The legal ground under surrogacy is shifting. For once it is shifting in your favor. If you are LGBTQ+ and you have been quietly terrified about what this administration means for your family, this is the episode that answers it directly. No vague reassurances. No spin. Just a fertility attorney with 15 years in reproductive law telling you exactly where you stand. What this episode covers: Michigan just passed surrogacy legislation. Here is what it actually does. Why a court ordered judgment protects your parental rights in ways a birth record cannot. Why California is about to raise the standard for every other state. Can you get a California court order and use it in Arizona. The answer will surprise you. Once you have a judgment, nobody can take it away. Here is the constitutional reason why. Why LGBTQ+ parents specifically need a judgment not just a birth record. Whether the federal government can roll back your parental rights. Brian explains why the answer is no. This is the episode you forward to the person who just asked you: is this still safe to do? The answer is yes. After this episode you will know exactly why. CHAPTERS 00:00 The Headlines Are Wrong: The Positive Legal Changes Nobody Is Talking About 02:08 Michigan Just Changed Everything: What the New Law Actually Does 02:59 Meet Brian: 15 Years in Fertility Law 04:36 Can You Get a California Court Order and Use It in Arizona 06:04 Why LGBTQ+ Parents Need a Judgment Not Just a Birth Record 07:02 Will the Federal Government Roll Back Your Parental Rights 07:51 Once You Have a Judgment Nobody Can Take It Away 08:12 The Constitutional Principle That Protects You Across State Lines 09:30 Is the Surrogate Ever on the Birth Certificate 10:37 What California Collects and Why It Never Appears on Your Child's Record 11:55 Michigan Birth Certificates: What Comes Next Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.

    12 min
  4. MAR 18

    93) YOUR EMBRYO GRADE IS LYING TO YOU: WHAT IVF CLINICS DON'T EXPLAIN ABOUT YOUR RESULTS

    Your embryo grade is not what you think it is. Embryologist Emanuela Molinari has spent her career inside the lab watching families make critical decisions based on information they do not fully understand. This episode fixes that. What you will actually learn: Why two clinics can look at the same embryo and give you completely different grades. Why a perfect grade does not guarantee a pregnancy and a low grade does not mean failure. Why sperm is half of this equation and why almost nobody is testing it properly. What DNA fragmentation is, why it matters, and when to test for it. Why some clinics still transfer on day 3 and what that decision is really based on. What blastocyst development actually tells you versus what clinics imply it tells you. What PGT genetic testing is genuinely useful for and what it cannot do. How age affects chromosome errors in ways that grading will never show you. If you are going through IVF, just starting, or trying to understand results that don't make sense, this episode gives you the questions your clinic is not asking you to ask. CHAPTERS 00:00 Why embryo grading confuses people 02:30 What you are actually seeing in an embryo 05:30 Why grading is subjective 09:00 The role of sperm in IVF 13:00 DNA fragmentation explained 17:00 What blastocyst development really means 21:00 Day 3 vs Day 5 transfer 25:00 Genetic testing without the hype 30:00 Age and embryo viability 35:00 What patients should actually focus on CONNECT WITH EMANUELA MOLINARI Website: https://eggstraordinaryembryo.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/eggstraordinary_embryo Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.

    39 min
  5. MAR 11

    92) IVF DOES NOT GUARANTEE A BABY: THE CONVERSATION ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS NOBODY IS HAVING

    Everyone talks about the embryos. Nobody talks about what happens to the relationship. IVF puts a number on your family. Success rates. Grades. Transfer windows. And somewhere inside all of that data, the relationship that started this entire journey is quietly breaking under the pressure nobody warned you about. Julio and Richard go there in this episode. Fully. What this episode covers: Why IVF clinics are excellent at the medical side and almost useless on the emotional side. Why frozen embryos create a decision that no couple is ever prepared to make together. Why the moment you realize biology is not cooperating with the life you planned is one of the loneliest moments a person can experience. Why younger LGBTQ couples are becoming parents earlier while straight couples are starting later and what that tension reveals about modern family building. Why having a baby does not fix a relationship. And why IVF pressure can expose everything that was already fragile. When to keep trying. When to change the plan. And how you know the difference. This is not the glossy brochure version of IVF. This is what it actually does to the people going through it. TOPICS IN THIS EPISODE IVF success rates and embryo reality Surrogacy and donor egg decisions LGBTQ family building The emotional impact of IVF on relationships Why IVF clinics rarely address relationship psychology Older parents versus younger parents The grief of the family you imagined Why having a baby does not fix a relationship Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.

    15 min
  6. MAR 5

    91) HE REPORTED ON FAMILIES WORLDWIDE THEN BUILT ONE THROUGH SURROGACY: PEDRO ANDRADE'S TRUTH

    He spent years reporting on how families are built around the world. Then he had to build his own. Pedro Andrade is a journalist and television host who has documented cultures across six continents. But nothing prepared him for the system of decisions, patience, and uncertainty that is IVF and surrogacy. In this episode Pedro tells the full story. Finding an egg donor. Matching with a surrogate. Signing contracts he did not fully understand at first. Facing the moments where everything could fall apart. And what it actually felt like to hold his daughter Isabel for the first time after years of trying. What this episode covers: Why parenthood through surrogacy is not a moment. It is a system you have to survive first. The emotional paradox nobody warns you about: overwhelming love arriving simultaneously with exhaustion, fear, and the weight of total responsibility. Why age changes how you experience becoming a parent and why that is not a weakness. What Pedro's documentary series Somewhat Familiar on Max revealed about how many ways there are to define a family across cultures. Why the definition of family is shifting faster than any institution is ready for. The one thing Pedro says every prospective parent needs to hear before they start. Parents are the people who show up. If you are navigating IVF, surrogacy, or simply trying to understand what modern family building actually costs emotionally, not just financially, this conversation will stay with you. CHAPTERS 00:00 Introduction to Parenthood and Identity 05:37 The Emotional Toll of Surrogacy 11:00 The Role of Age in Parenting 16:24 The Impact of Surrogacy on Family Dynamics 21:50 Empowering Women and Challenging Norms 27:16 Advice for Prospective Parents PEDRO ANDRADE Documentary series Somewhat Familiar streaming now on Max / HBO Max. Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.

    40 min
  7. FEB 11

    90) THE SURROGACY INDUSTRY HAS A TRANSPARENCY PROBLEM: HERE IS WHAT IS ACTUALLY CHANGING

    Surrogacy is not just a medical process. It is infrastructure. And right now that infrastructure is being rebuilt whether the industry is ready or not. IVF Daddies investigates what has actually shifted in the surrogacy landscape over the past year, what it means for intended parents, and why the families who start informed are the ones who finish protected. This is not a promotional conversation. It is an industry level discussion with the founders of Families Out Loud about what is really happening beneath the surface of modern family building. What this episode covers: Why safe spaces in surrogacy are not a luxury. They are a risk reduction tool. Why same sex and heterosexual journeys start differently but merge in the same broken process. What actually builds trust between intended parents and providers and why most agencies are getting it wrong. What happens to the community when an agency collapses. And why it keeps happening. Why education shortens consultation cycles and reduces the decisions people regret. The rise of AI in assisted reproductive technology and what it means for intended parents right now. The starting point determines everything. If you are exploring IVF, egg donation, gestational surrogacy, or trying to understand why this industry feels so opaque, this episode gives you the structural clarity nobody else is offering. CHAPTERS 00:00 One Year Later: What Changed in Surrogacy 02:48 From Niche Community to Cross Family Infrastructure 05:29 What a Safe Space in Surrogacy Actually Means 08:28 Trust, Vulnerability and Emotional Risk 11:03 Different Starting Points, Same IVF Process 14:03 Educating Families and Reducing Stigma 16:46 The Role of Providers and Ethical Collaboration 19:43 When an Agency Fails: How the Industry Responds 22:29 Nonprofit Structure and Education Strategy 24:22 The Rise of AI in Assisted Reproduction 28:40 Why Education Protects Intended Parents 31:18 Building Sustainable Family Building Infrastructure Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.

    2 min
  8. JAN 22

    88) THE MAN WHO CHANGED SURROGACY LAW: RON POOLE-DAYAN ON POWER, MONEY AND WHO CONTROLS YOUR FAMILY

    One man helped move gay fatherhood from legal impossibility to corporate insurance policy. This is the conversation about what that actually cost and who controls the infrastructure now. Ron Poole-Dayan founded Men Having Babies. Over two decades he helped reshape how governments, corporations, and insurance companies think about surrogacy, infertility, and LGBTQ+ family building. He did not do it by asking nicely. This is not a feel-good conversation. It is a systems level discussion about power, money, ethics, and the uncomfortable truth that every non-profit operating near medicine, law, and vulnerable people eventually becomes a gatekeeper. What this episode covers: How redefining infertility as a social status changed insurance law in ways litigation never could. Why workplace benefits became more powerful than courtrooms for advancing LGBTQ+ parenting rights. Why ethical standards in surrogacy create both protection and exclusion simultaneously and why that tension is not going away. What it actually costs to change a system at scale and who pays that price. Why the goal of real advocacy is to make itself unnecessary and why Men Having Babies is not there yet. What is coming in Europe as surrogacy regulation intensifies and why Brussels is the next battleground. When a non-profit succeeds so completely it stops being charity and becomes infrastructure. What happens then. Every mature movement eventually faces scrutiny not for failing but for succeeding. If you want LGBTQ+ parenting to be boring, protected, and normal, this is the price of that. CHAPTERS 00:00 Why Men Having Babies Exists 02:48 Financial Assistance and Industry Proximity 05:41 Advocacy, Law, and Institutional Power 08:22 Redefining Infertility: Medical vs Social Status 10:48 Workplace Benefits and Corporate Policy 13:35 Cultural Blind Spots Around Male Parenthood 16:18 How Surrogacy Evolved and Why It's Contested 19:01 When Advocacy Becomes Infrastructure CONNECT WITH RON POOLE-DAYAN Men Having Babies: https://menhavingbabies.org Financial Assistance Program: https://menhavingbabies.org/gpap Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.

    23 min

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
3 Ratings

About

The fertility industry will take $200,000 from you before anyone explains what you're actually doing. We fix that. IVF. Surrogacy. Egg donation. Real costs. Real timelines. What clinics don't tell you. What lawyers bury in contracts. What no one warns you about until it's too late. Richard Westoby navigated this for 14 years. Julio Gaggia decoded it so you don't have to start from zero. Start with Episode 1. Hit follow. Then make better decisions. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. The independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.

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