Joculation LPFaust

In this episode of Joculation, LP shares his unique brand of comedy and satire on the news and headlines which matter most.

In the Dead Toad Scrolls, a series of meditative personal essays, Killroy J. Oldster states, “Days spent in idleness and leisure creates empty pages in the anthology of human beings and leaves no indelible mark in the pages of a person’s life story.” No indelible marks you say Mr. Oldster? Join LP this episode as we discover how days spent in idleness and leisure led a young man to occupy this leisure time by inserting “dynamite-like explosives” into his rectum, detonating them, and having his ass rebuilt like the bionic man (https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-blows-up-bum-strapping-26365645). Who would have known all you need to rebuild a blown-up ass is some papier-mâché and a few classic episodes of Martha Stewart Living?

According to Urology Case Reports, urethral foreign bodies are (allegedly) rare and with a variety of causes. “Rare”, you say? In this episode, LP plays a bit of graveyard bingo to quantify how rare stories of men jamming things up their urethra really are, and stumbles across a guaranteed first ballot hall of famer who, against all odds, managed to fit a single AA battery in his urethra and kept it there for 24 hours (https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-rushed-emergency-surgery-after-26333088?int_source=mantis_rec&int_medium=web&int_campaign=more_like_this). Where is John Madden on the telestrator with the play by play and color commentary we need during this intimate and historical moment in Natural Selection? 

Nothing says quaint magical fairytale setting and pixie dust quite like driving down to the Ashdown Forrest in East Sussex - the inspiration for AA Milne's Hundred Acres Wood in the Winnie the Pooh stories - for a lascivious yet relaxing Sunday afternoon dogging session amongst Winnie the Pooh and his friends. In this episode, let’s hear LP regale the listeners with the tales of the police in Sussex desperately urge people engaging in “acts of a sexual nature” not to visit the Sussex beauty spot (https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/weird-news/police-crackdown-doggers-plaguing-family-26341423). And here Pooh thought he only had to worry about the Hephalumps, Woozels, and his jars of honey. Who would have ever thought the Hundred Acre Wood might need of a resident jizz mopper?

If you enjoyed listening to the show, please give it a five-star rating, a review, and please share with your friends. It all genuinely helps others to find Joculation and grow the Circle of Intimacy. Please be sure to subscribe on Aureal One, Apple Podcast, Spotify, Google Podcast, or wherever you are listening. The Joculation podcast is available across all major podcast platforms.



Follow me on Twitter (https://twitter.com/FaustLp) to keep up to date with all things LP and thank you.




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Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lpfaust/message

In this episode of Joculation, LP shares his unique brand of comedy and satire on the news and headlines which matter most.

The war in the Ukraine is ratcheting up, and leaders from countries around the world are bleating away in their United Nations knitting circles about the need for more effective diplomacy. You know, nothing says more effective diplomacy quite like swiping right on Tinder to f**k the war out of men on the frontline. In this episode, join LP as we discover how Russian soldiers invading the Ukraine are dressing up like missing members of The Village People band and feverishly updating their Tinder profiles on the front lines of the Ukrainian war -  because somehow hooking up with someone before sending them to a re-education camp is the path to peace (https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/red-dawn-juan-russian-solders-trying-hook-ukrainian-girls-tinder). 

Forms and fields are the curse of the connected age because big data is big business, and nothing provides a such wonderful opportunity for responsive, eye-catching, and creative wordplay quite like the memo field for cash transfers from your bank, CashApp, Venmo and Paypal.  Let’s hear as LP regales us with the tale of just such a creative young man who decided to add a touch of distinctive word-play flair to his cash transfers to friends with payment memos labeled as, “jihad fees”, “Taliban Training”, and “ISIS Training” (https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-quizzed-bank-after-using-26249967). It’s like a modern twist on the childhood classic “Horton Hears a Who.”

The age of designer babies has descended upon humanity and through the miracle that is CRISPR, humans can design the sex babies with the same ease and comfort as designing a pair of custom Nike sneakers during Superbowl halftime. Yet, with all this ease and convenience, some people still wax nostalgic and prefer the old school method involving a Faith healer, a hammer, a nail, and the skull of the pregnant woman to guarantee the sex of their child (https://metro.co.uk/2022/02/11/faith-healer-hammered-nail-into-pregnant-womans-head-so-shed-have-baby-boy-16088206/). In this episode, LP fills us in on the faith healer who hammered a nail into the head of a pregnant woman to guarantee she’d have a baby boy. I mean, Jesus was a carpenter after all, right?

If you enjoyed listening to the show, please give it a five-star rating, a review, and please share with your friends. It all genuinely helps others to find Joculation and grow the Circle of Intimacy. Please be sure to subscribe on Aureal One, Apple Podcast, Spotify, Google Podcast, or wherever you are listening. The Joculation podcast is available across all major podcast platforms.

Follow me on Twitter (https://twitter.com/FaustLp) to keep up to date with all things LP and thank you.




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Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lpfaust/message

In this episode of Joculation, LP shares his unique brand of comedy and satire on the news and headlines which matter most.

With every other news article talking about the famed Lazarus Group cybercrime syndicate run by the North Korean government, one would think the reputation which precedes this group would have any target crapping their pants. In this episode, we discover the hero that we need – a hacker with the handle Px4 who took matters into his own hands after being hacked by the Lazarus Group. Let’s listen to LP regale the tale of how Px4 launched his own DDoS attack against the North Korean internet, successfully took it down, and then automated his future DDoS attacks against North Korea just for the LOLz.

Everyone has fond memories of their first true love – how their heart raced and depth and intensity of the emotions they felt. Join LP as he shares the love story of famous psychedelic researcher Amanda Feilding and her 15-year relationship with a pigeon filled with intense passion and deep-seated jealousy. If you listen closely to the screams of your brain cells as they commit seppuku after hearing this story, you can almost hear the famous Zen koan reverberating through the emptiness - How does a pigeon give tiny little kisses to your pupils if they don’t have lips?

Life is filled with the tombstones of epic, celebrated product launches which soar like the Hindenburg and subsequently explode into a pile of shit like the sauerkraut and cheddar bratwurst the day after the Superbowl. Epic product fails like Peeps flavored Pepsi, Etat Libre d’Orange’s Secretions Magnifiques a semen scented perfume to help remember the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s, and designer Nikolas Gregory’s the Ripley - a kit which has everything you need to make intimately personalized jewelry from your ass are some of the greatest hits which litter this graveyard. In this episode, LP adds another opus of disaster to this list courtesy of Build-A-Bear and their ‘After Dark’ horny teddy bear line. Yes, it’s as painful as it sounds.

If you enjoyed listening to the show, please give it a five-star rating, a review, and please share with your friends. It all genuinely helps others to find Joculation and grow the Circle of Intimacy. Please be sure to subscribe on Aureal One, Apple Podcast, Spotify, Google Podcast, or wherever you are listening. The Joculation podcast is available across all major podcast platforms.

Follow me on Twitter (https://twitter.com/FaustLp) to keep up to date with all things LP and thank you.


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Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lpfaust/message

In this episode of Joculation, LP shares his unique brand of comedy and satire on the news and headlines which matter most.

Lemmy Kilmeister is without a doubt one of the more memorable icons of the modern metal/punk genre. Between his regular seat at the Rainbow Bar & Grill on the Sunset Strip in California to his days cutting his teeth as part of the road crew for Jimi Hendrix – Lemmy was about as rock and roll as one could get. What is more punk rock about death than having your ashes encased in silver bullets that you will to your friends?  In this episode, LP share the story of how Lemmy did just that and f****d up terribly by willing one bullet for Riki Rachtman. I know what you’re saying - who? Exactly.

With the holiday season clearly in the rear-view mirror, we really only have two things to look forward to: the return of stinging and biting insects and the made-up holiday to juice the sales of florists and stationery companies - Valentine’s Day. This very forgettable “holiday” easily slips the mind while jammed up with income tax filings and credit card hangover from the holiday season. LP understands that panic driven VD brain fart and is here like a fat cupid in a Speedo with gift ideas to capture the essence of your love this cuffing season. I mean what says “love” more than a Motorbunny?

Virtually every male performer that joins the Royal Ballet School dreams of starring in a rousing, memorable performance which evokes deep emotion from the audience and will immortalize them for the ages. Join LP in this episode as we follow one such performer as he takes his tights, his Viagra, his kitchen knives, and his dreams of fame to the streets of West London for his most memorable performance. I’m sure the CCTV video captures of today will be the NFTs for his OnlyFans page tomorrow.

If you enjoyed listening to the show, please give it a five-star rating, a review, and please share with your friends. It all genuinely helps others to find Joculation and grow the Circle of Intimacy. Please be sure to subscribe on Aureal One, Apple Podcast, Spotify, Google Podcast, or wherever you are listening. The Joculation podcast is available across all major podcast platforms.

Follow me on Twitter (https://twitter.com/FaustLp) to keep up to date with all things LP and thank you.




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Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lpfaust/message

In this episode of Joculation, LP shares his unique brand of comedy and satire on the news and headlines which matter most.

The phrase “combat sports” immediately conjures up images of the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) with combatants engaged in violent spectacle. Join LP and learn about the latest evolutionary failure of combat sports as we explore the Pillow Fight Championship (PFC) – complete with the violent authenticity of a WWE bra and panties match and “specially designed” combat pillows for her pleasure. Which kids’ aftercare program will hoist the championship banner in their play space once it’s all said and done?

In this age of nonsensical rules in a cancel culture crackdown, it’s refreshing to see no stone or platform is a sacred cow – not even the Forza community. Stroll through the sausage factory of the Forza Community Teams content moderation where an anonymous player receives an 8,000 year ban after releasing a custom 'livery' which played with the logos of New Balance ('Nuke Balance'), Pirelli ('Pyongyang', the North Korean capital), and replacing the KFC 'Colonel' with North Korea's dictator. Kim Jong Un is the modern morbidly obese face of Colonel Sanders we need for a golden age of dank parody Esports sponsorship. Anyone make a Forza black-market NFT of this yet?

Mastery of your craft is essential, and nothing encapsulates this idea quite like Bob Ross and the Joy of Painting. Patience. Clean, purposeful brush strokes. Happy little accidents. In this episode, let’s hear about a happy little accident during a failed penis enlargement on a Yakuza boss. When cutting, pulling, and tugging on his microshaft like you’re stretching out saltwater taffy in a vain effort to gain some length, it might be a good idea not to tell the Yakuza boss to butch up because getting his tattoo probably hurt more. 

If you enjoyed listening to the show, please give it a five-star rating, a review, and please share with your friends. It all genuinely helps others to find Joculation and grow the Circle of Intimacy. Please be sure to subscribe on Aureal One, Apple Podcast, Spotify, Google Podcast, or wherever you are listening. The Joculation podcast is available across all major podcast platforms.

Follow me on Twitter (https://twitter.com/FaustLp) to keep up to date with all things LP and thank you.


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Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lpfaust/message

In this episode of Joculation, LP shares his unique brand of comedy and satire on the news and headlines which matter most.



When no greater fool exists to unload all the strange crap you’ve collected from late-night QVC impulse buys on, it’s time to dump that outlandish crap on the thrift shop to maximize that tax deduction. Join LP for this episode to learn about how the spirit of goodwill and magnanimity moves people to donate the strangest things to charity. I mean, nothing says benevolence and philanthropy quite like donating your used animal castration device to charity.



The Emily Post Rules of Etiquette cover almost every imaginable scenario, but she never foresaw the Brazilian Wax gong mainstream. In this episode, we can learn some of the New Emily Post Rules of Etiquette for Brazilian Waxing - courtesy of the confessions from an esthetician spilling on all the most shocking things she has witnessed. If you’re concerned about breaching Emily Post’s Brazilian Wax Etiquette, popping in for a cheeky Brazilian Wax directly after sex, you may need to tune into this episode to learn about this and more.



In this golden age of the DIY home medical day spa treatments, it provides a never-ending stream of disposable influencers and TikTok beauty hack fails for the world to enjoy. Nothing quite captures the essence of this DIY fail movement quite like hammering lip enhancements into your face, only to have the enhancements migrate from your lips and enhance your chin instead. Who cares about the overrated TikTok Kylie Jenner Lip challenge, when you can jump right into the TikTok Green Goblin Chin beauty hack fail?  



If you enjoyed listening to the show, please give it a five-star rating, a review, and please share with your friends. It all genuinely helps others to find Joculation and grow the Circle of Intimacy. Please be sure to subscribe on Aureal One, Apple Podcast, Spotify, Google Podcast, or wherever you are listening. The Joculation podcast is available across all major podcast platforms.



Follow me on Twitter (https://twitter.com/FaustLp) to keep up to date with all things LP and thank you.


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Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lpfaust/message