Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens Casey O'Roarty

My friend Douglas Haddad is here this week to chat about all things middle school, with a focus on encouraging discouraged learners.  

Douglas has been teaching for over 24 years (at ONE school!), and I love his commitment to his students. Douglas shares what he’s seen changing during that period, like higher anxiety & social media misuse, and what’s stayed the same, like a child’s need to feel loved, heard, and understood.   

Douglas shares his wisdom on keeping middle schoolers encouraged & engaged: making sure they understand the systems in place around them, how we can help when our kid isn’t connecting with a teacher, collaborating on family agreements, and helping our tweens grow their tolerance for discomfort.  

Takeaways from the show

What’s different between middle school today & when you were a tween? 

“Loved, heard, and understood” 

What does discouragement look like in the classroom? 

Wait Until 8th Pledge 

Does your child know & understand the systems in place around them? 

How to help foster connection between your child & their teachers 

Family contracts, charters, agreements, & meetings 

Being available without an agenda or judgment 

Setting & celebrating small goals 

Scaffolding for our kiddos to grow their tolerance for discomfort


For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.
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It is so easy, when we aren't paying attention, to let our minds slide into all the worst-case scenarios, the worst possible outcomes, "dead in a ditch." I know, I've been there, and it ISN'T USEFUL. It isn't an empowered or encouraged parenting mindset during the teen years. So how do we shift?? Listen to this episode and find out!

Get more show notes and info about sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-482-Shifting-from-worst-case-scenarios-to-trusting-process-teens/

Join the FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/jcforparentsofteens
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Amy & Christy are back for part 2 of our conversation, and we’re talking about pornography.  

Please believe us: your kid is going to see porn. Some families are more aware & ready for this moment than others, so what can you do and say to prepare? You can’t prevent the exposure or know how your child will react, but we can get ready for it and start the conversation now. Pornography is all over the place and often hidden, and unfortunately kids view that as Sex Ed & think that pornography is what sex with a partner will be like for them - they assume that hardcore porn is real life. Seeing these images train their brain; watching porn today is very different from running into an issue of Playboy when we were kids, and it’s impossible to avoid.  

So what do we say to our kids? What’s the magic word? Christy shares the way she uses values to talk to her teen, and Amy explains how to keep the conversation around other kids to break through to your own teen. We touch on monitoring software & sugar dating. The good news here is that there are many resources available for families to use, and it can get better. 

Takeaways from the show

Your kids will see pornography 

Pornography is different than when you were a kid 

Kids often keep it a secret if they see pornographic material. Let them know they won’t be in trouble!  

Pornography is often in hidden, unexpected spaces

Kids see pornography as Sex Ed 

Pornography trains their growing brain - including the themes of misogyny, racism, & shame around their bodies 

Don’t tell yourself, “it won’t happen to my kid” 

Porn is harder to avoid today than it was to find in the ‘80s 

What do we say to our kids about this? 

Conversations about pornography need to start early - earlier than you think! Keep them short & frequent

Using monitoring software


For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.
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This week we are going deep into examining the beliefs we hold about our kids and how they might actually be what is getting in the way and creating the suffering we are experiencing. I know, seems like an easy fix, right? We may not be able to control our kids (truly, we can't) but what we BELIEVE about them is for sure a part of our influence AND for SURE impacts how we EXPERIENCE them. Listen in and let me know what you think.
Find more about our sponsors and full show notes at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-480-power-of-examining-beliefs-we-hold-about-our-teens-and-tweens/
Jump into the FB group discussion at https://www.facebook.com/groups/jcforparentsofteens/posts/1604661457038309/
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My guest today is my good, local friend - Cindy Palmer. 
Cindy’s here to talk about executive functioning in kids with neurodivergence, especially during the transition to college. High School is a time that is typically incredibly structured, down to the minute, and the transition to college is tricky for all adolescents. What do we do when it feels like our kids aren’t ready? How can parents help scaffold that transition? Especially for kids with neurodivergence? Cindy shares lots of strategies and ideas around supporting our adolescents during this tricky time - getting curious & compassionate, not holding a certain view on what things “should” look like, and what kind of bumps slow down (or stop) our kiddos from getting their work done.  
I ask Cindy what we can be doing in the middle & high school years to help with the transition (spoiler: it’s lots of practice & baby steps) and we talk about how important grades actually are. We get into what we can hand over to our kids right now (how about waking themselves up in the morning?) and why we want to practice these life skills in middle school, not the first week of college. We wrap up touching on adjusting our expectations for how older kiddos contribute to the family (and how we can use these as opportunities to teach life skills).  
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You and me and enthusiastic curiosity - WOOHOO! It may sound crazy but when we can really connect with the experience we are having while navigating our kids' mischief, regulate, and shift into curiosity, there is space for much deeper connection and learning for all. Truly. Listen to this show for tips on all the things - and let me know what you think!

For show notes and more info on our sponsors, head to https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-478-Meeting-misbehavior-with-enthusiastic-curiosity/

To chime in on your take-aways, join the Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/jcforparentsofteens/posts/1600103267494128/
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