Send us Fan Mail What does it actually look like to pursue a relationship God’s way? In a culture where dating is often driven by attraction, emotion, convenience, physical chemistry, and personal fulfillment, Scripture calls believers to something deeper: intentionality, purity, wisdom, accountability, sacrifice, and covenant. In this special collaboration episode between Backwards but Redeemed and Kingdom Authority, Pastor Aaron and Pastor Victoria sit down for an open, honest, and biblically grounded conversation about dating, courtship, marriage, and what it means to build a relationship with Jesus Christ at the center. This is not simply a conversation about finding the “right person.” It is about becoming the kind of man or woman who is spiritually mature enough to recognize, steward, and protect a godly relationship. Pastor Aaron and Pastor Victoria discuss the difference between modern dating culture and biblical intentionality, what healthy courtship can look like, why believers should not ignore spiritual compatibility, and why marriage must be viewed as more than romance. Marriage is covenant. It is two people choosing to submit their lives, desires, plans, and future to God while learning to serve, forgive, sacrifice, communicate, grow, and walk together in obedience to Christ. This episode also confronts some of the difficult questions Christians face in relationships today. How do you know whether someone is truly pursuing God or simply saying the right things? What does being equally yoked actually mean? How important are boundaries before marriage? What role should pastors, parents, mentors, and spiritual community have in a relationship? How do you distinguish between red flags and areas where someone simply needs grace and growth? What should a man be looking for in a wife? What should a woman be looking for in a husband? And how do you know when a relationship is pulling you closer to Jesus rather than slowly pulling you away from Him? Pastor Aaron and Pastor Victoria also speak into the importance of identity before relationship. A spouse cannot become your savior. Marriage cannot heal every insecurity. Another person cannot carry the responsibility of giving you identity, purpose, wholeness, or worth. Those things must first be rooted in Christ. Healthy biblical relationships are built by two people who are learning to follow Jesus individually and then choosing to follow Him together. This conversation challenges the idea that dating is merely about finding someone who makes you happy. Instead, believers should ask deeper questions: Can we serve God together? Can we pray together? Can we build together? Can we endure hardship together? Can we challenge one another toward holiness? Can we raise a family with biblical conviction? Can we submit our relationship to the Lord even when obedience is uncomfortable? Because marriage is not simply about finding someone you can live with. It is about covenanting with someone you are willing to die to yourself for. The episode also dives into purity, communication, emotional maturity, leadership, submission, accountability, expectations, forgiveness, conflict, and the reality that strong marriages are not accidentally created. They are intentionally built. Dating should have direction. Courtship should have wisdom. Marriage should have covenant. And every stage should have Christ at the center. Whether you are single and waiting, currently dating, engaged, newly married, have been married for decades, or are raising sons and daughters who will eventually navigate relationships of their own, this conversation offers biblical principles that can help bring clarity in an area where culture has created tremendous confusion. The world often says, “Follow your heart.” Scripture teaches us to follow Christ. The world says, “Find someone who completes you.” The Gospel teaches us that our completeness is found in Jesus. The world says, “If it stops making you happy, walk away.” Covenant says, “We honor God, fight for unity, forgive, grow, and remain faithful.” Relationships were never meant to replace our relationship with God. They were meant to reflect Him. Before you date, know who you are. Before you pursue someone, know what you are pursuing. Before you choose a spouse, know what covenant requires. And before you say “I do,” make sure Jesus is the foundation beneath everything you are building. Because chemistry can start a relationship. Attraction can draw two people together. Feelings can be powerful. But only a foundation built on Christ can withstand the storms that inevitably come. This is biblical dating. This is intentional courtship. This is covenant marriage. And this is what it looks like when relationships are surrendered to the Kingdom of God. Support the show
