144 episodes

The setting is today. The male of the species has been cowered to near extinction by a combination of privileged white girl Soul Cycle feminism and excessive pass interference calls in football. From their drunken repose at a Hollywood area bar and pizza joint, Lex Jurgen and Matt Ralston broadcast the last bastion of masculine thought to a dispersed audience of survivors. Like a giant dick beacon, if that’s your thing.
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Last Men On Earth Lex Jurgen & Matt Ralston

    • Comedy
    • 4.2, 45 Ratings

The setting is today. The male of the species has been cowered to near extinction by a combination of privileged white girl Soul Cycle feminism and excessive pass interference calls in football. From their drunken repose at a Hollywood area bar and pizza joint, Lex Jurgen and Matt Ralston broadcast the last bastion of masculine thought to a dispersed audience of survivors. Like a giant dick beacon, if that’s your thing.
See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

    LMOE #168 - Amber Heard Lied, Kobe Died

    LMOE #168 - Amber Heard Lied, Kobe Died

    Matt and I are on a roll. Like Mahomes to Hill, and trust me, the pitcher and receiver analogy is perfect. I'm Mahomes. F**k it, the Niners should've won. I'm going to make Hill pay tonight.

    Become a Patron of Last Men on Earth and you can live forever. We do need your $1.50 for beer money. And you need to stop feeling guilty about listening for free.
    On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast, we dive into the hard landing of Kobe Bryant who Matt wished dead on tape two year ago, though he gets bonus points for calling Amber Heard a liar two years ago on wife abuse charges, we explore Harvey Weinstein's micro-penis, tell you the truth about Meghan Markle's master plan, wonder if two Latina (Latinx!) moms pole dancing at the Super Bowel really constitutes female empowerment, and expose the woke narcissism that is Joaquin Phoenix.
    We do this for you, because we care. Care back. Become a Patron of the Last Men on Earth for the price of two cigarettes, or one beer, or 1.5 Slim Jims.

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    • 1 hr 53 min
    LMOE #167 - The Internet Is For Porn

    LMOE #167 - The Internet Is For Porn

    Now that Matt and I are shitting out content on a regular schedule, it's time to consider your patronage of this blessed audio work. Where would the world be without the De Medici family supporting Michelangelo? Or George Soros supporting transnational sex workers? The bare, naked, honest, and horrible truth needs benevolent patrons as well.
    Support the Last Men on Earth podcast with your couch change, you glorious motherfucker.
    On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast, we dive deep into the study that shockingly declares teen boys are watching Internet porn daily, discussing Deb Dugan's Grammy corruption non-revelations, dive into Terry Crews' sex fasting process, discuss the sad fate of fat Canadian trans-activist Jennifer Yaniv, I share my Elizabeth Warren real life nightmare, and we wonder how many more minutes until Julianne Hough's hockey playing husband comes out of the penalty box, err, closet. This episode is jam packed with speculation posing as fact. So very modern.
    And yes, we want your dollar. Become a Patron of Last Men on Earth podcast. Oh, the hit lists you'll be on when the Bolshevik Bros take over.

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    • 1 hr 24 min
    LMOE #166 - Lizzo Needs The Lipo

    LMOE #166 - Lizzo Needs The Lipo

    After an extended break where Matt and I each had plastic surgery to look like the other, like Face/Off, only with less straight actors, we are back and fully recharged for 2020. Our commitment to being called vile and offensive, though never wrong, remains intact. Also, my left testicle finally dropped, so that's like a Quinceañera in your pants.

    SUPPORT THE SHOW AND LIVE FOREVER!
    On this episode of Last Men on Earth, Matt and I discuss how women in power are just as horrible as men in power in the entertainment industry, wonder how exactly the WNBA business model supports economy-plus seats on flights, lament the fact that Elizabeth Warren can be hailed a feminist hero for faking offenses, discuss how horrible the Oscars are in every way imaginable, estimate the circumference around Lizzo's best life, and mourn the loss of independent comedy in the media-sphere thanks to duopolistic overlords pushing vanilla content to the masses.
    Among the reasons independent voices on the Internet are dying off is a lack of funding. I mean, that's a bald-faced plea to become a patron of our show. Certainly, you'll go on some list for when the bad people take over and look to genocide all the non-conformists, but you'll be shot in the back with pride. Plus it's only $1.50, you cheap cheap bastard.

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    • 1 hr 47 min
    LMOE #165 - Making a Mountain out of Katie Hill

    LMOE #165 - Making a Mountain out of Katie Hill

    Young people will always be idiots in the eyes of older people because older people were once young and have the hindsight to see what idiot assholes they were. It's the circle of life. This is why old people vote a ton and don't give a shit that young people don't. Also, they're bored because they can't figure out the Internet.
    On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast, Matt and I explore the crotch-level depths of Congresswoman Katie Hill's fall from disgrace, including that Germanic Iron Cross on her pubes, mock Lebron James because you have to, wonder if the Deadspin editorial staff is quite as bad-ass, noble, and speaking truth to power as they think, ponder business tools apps promoting LGBTQ activist content, disavow the entire wing of fake studies known as Social Science, and have the final answer as to why Terminator Dark Fate tanked at the box office.
    As always, we beg of you in a whorish plea to support the show via a tiny donation to Patreon.com. It's a good way to support the arts without supporting anybody close to being an artist.
    Blessings,
    Lex.

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    • 1 hr 22 min
    LMOE #164 - Greta Thunberg Scold-a-thon

    LMOE #164 - Greta Thunberg Scold-a-thon

    It's less often that Matt and I have the chance to sit down and really talk out our feelings. Like who's a f*****g moron, who deserves to be felled by a tetanus-ridden cleaver, and who is so hot you'd do it with her even if she had visible scabies rashes. It's a real bearing of the souls.

    Support Last Men on Earth. Keep hope live. Not here obviously.
    On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast, we delve into the tween maniacal musings of Greta Thunberg, the most annoying person to come out of Sweden since the last person that came out of Sweden, troll Ed Buck and his meth-injection sex fetish, explain why women crying at work is now being elevated to a sign of business excellence, talk needlessly about sexually ambiguous Ronson sibling DJs, assess the statistically anomaly that is gender-swapping preschools in Hollywood proper, and we talk Des Moines Register hit piece on that kid in Iowa who raised money for children's hospital. All the good stuff that real news outlets would cover if they weren't chicken-shit, mindless, and dry as your grandma. That seems cruel. All of it.
    If you're not donating a dollar to keep our show alive, you're wasting your dollar. Also, Jesus hates you and you'll probably get butt cancer. Save yourself the heartache. Give.
    Bless you.
    Lex.

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    • 1 hr 28 min
    LMOE #163 - Gay Balls, Straight Oppression, and The Miracle of Childbirth

    LMOE #163 - Gay Balls, Straight Oppression, and The Miracle of Childbirth

    You know how in every successive rap album Eminem spends half the record time apologizing for his last album being s****y and promises this one now is finally good -- that's our latest Last Men Podcast, except for the apologizing for the last one b******t. That's pretty pussy for 8-Mile.
    JOIN THE FIGHT NOW. OR THE NON-FIGHT. F**K, CLICK HERE FOR FREE ICE-CREAM AND PORN.
    In our latest podcast glory, Matt and I discuss Jeffrey Epstein's female lieutenants role in his serial teen girl boning boon, wonder how women got away with turning childbirth into something akin to Silver Star worthy combat duty, analyze the straight-to-Hollywood-twink antics of the latest gay former NFL player, then spend a shit ton of time not really figuring out what straight white males are supposed to do in an age where they are the cellar dwellers of the socio-political pecking order and complaining simply sounds bitchy. It's a tough problem. We're just the guys not to fix it.
    Now I beseech you to become cheap mofo donors to our podcast Patreon account. While your dollar to PBS simply gives hippy pedophiles who hate America more shows, your dollar to the Last Men on Earth podcast does the same, but without the hippy part. It's super f*****g magical. Also, this is how you get into heaven.

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    • 2 hr 8 min

Customer Reviews

4.2 out of 5
45 Ratings

45 Ratings

jewelssd ,

"The most famous 'not-Lesbian'"

I am going to use the phrase a "slow burn" to describe this podcast. The first episode I was like, ok this is fine, and the more I listened to, the more I loved it. I don't know how they know about these random things (like the flawlessness of plus size model Ashley Graham) but I LOVE it!!!!!! I wish you guys didn't hate Trump so much but anybody who describes Jennifer Aniston as the "most famous not-lesbian" is a friend of MINE.

♥♥♥

Anijake ,

Bumper Music to Loud

Great podcast, love the content but you guys talk low and then have this extreamly loud bumber music come on that blows out my ears while using AirPods. Please tray and have a constent sound level.

GQueue ,

Required Listening

Irreverent, raunchy and sexist for sure but to hear Misters Jurgen and Ralston rail against this P.C. world I'd vote them in for the presidency and vice-presidency if they ran. This podcast is just a straight dose of common sense in a mad world. They're both also great on Twitter! Brilliant show.

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