Shades of Strong® | Strength Without Struggle for Black Women

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Welcome to Shades of Strong®, the podcast where Black women come to be seen, heard, and supported. Home of Support Languages™ for Black Women, this is your sanctuary for redefining strength, releasing overwhelm, and rewriting the narrative of what it means to be the “strong one.”

  1. -21 H

    When a Black Woman is Well, Everybody’s Well with Dr. Cecily Moore

    This week on Shades of Strong, we’re going all the way in. I'm sitting down with Dr. Cecily Moore for a raw, layered conversation about what it really costs to carry the “strong Black woman” narrative — and what it actually takes to start living well, for real. Dr. Cecily brings her lived experience, research, and wisdom to the table as we talk about the exhaustion, the generational weight, and how so many of us are ready to put it all down. Together, we unpack: What the “strong Black woman” narrative steals from us, and why so many are finally saying, “I don’t want to do it like this anymore.” How wellness for Black women is not just individual, but communal — when a Black woman is well, everybody connected to her benefits. The emotional and cultural impact of being expected to serve, sacrifice, and hold it together — even when you’re falling apart on the inside. Why self-advocacy, boundaries, and true support are non-negotiable for our healing (and what it actually looks like in everyday life). The church, the workplace, the family — where the strong Black woman myth keeps showing up, and how we’re learning to question it. How unlearning strength-as-sacrifice is an act of resistance and the beginning of generational healing. You’ll also hear personal stories — from both Dr. Cecily and myself— about what it feels like to try to be “everything to everybody,” the grief that comes with letting that go, and the joy that’s possible on the other side. If you’re a Black woman who’s ever felt like your well-being is always last on the list, this one is for you. And if you care about Black women, it’s for you too. About Dr. Cecily Moore Dr. Cecily Moore helps therapists, counselors, and helping professionals unlearn the Strong Black Woman narrative so they can move from survival mode into sustainable wellness. She’s a licensed therapist, educator, researcher, and the creator of the Reappropriate, Redefine, Recover™ framework — guiding Black women toward nervous system healing, spaciousness, and self-reclamation. Cecily is a military wife, a mom of two, and she’s never met a Strong Black Woman she couldn’t help begin the journey of unlearning that sh*t. Connect with Dr. Cecily Moore here. Timestamps – What You’ll Hear and When: 00:00 – Intro & Why This Conversation Matters 06:20 – Dr. Cecily’s Story: Postpartum Depression and the Cost of Strength 10:25 – Generational Strength: Grandma, Mama, and Us 15:50 – Research, Lived Experience, and the Grief of Unlearning "Strong" 17:20 – The Support Language Behind the Therapist Chair 21:31 – The Pacifier Metaphor: Replacing "Strong" with Support 24:54 – Watching Her Learn to Rest: Dr. Cecily’s Mom and the Reclamation of Joy 28:06 – Church, Faith, and the Conditioning of "Strong" 36:18 – When Strength Is Rooted in Fear: Mothering Black Boys 41:15 – Receiving as a Skill: Support Languages and Accessibility 49:00 – Final Words: Unlearning "Strong" as a Mental Health Intervention Resources to Support You: Download Cecily’s Free Audio + Mindset guide: Unlearn That Sh*t Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Related Episodes

    51 min

  2. -4 J

    When "Support" is Present But You Still Feel Alone

    So earlier this week I talked about what it feels like when you don’t have anybody to reach for. But what about when folks are around — and you still feel alone? That’s a whole different kind of grief. This episode is about that space. The space where people love you, but they don’t really see you. Where the help is supposed to be there… but somehow, you’re still carrying it all. If you’ve ever looked around and thought, “Why does no one notice how much I’m holding?” — this one’s for you. What You’ll Hear in This Episode: What Being Seen feels like when it’s missing How to stop swallowing that quiet grief Real talk about what support really requires Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Related Episodes When You're All You've Got Learning to Hold Yourself When No One Else Does When Everything Feels Heavy

    7 min

  3. 23 SEPT.

    When You're All You've Got | Feeling Unsuppoted As A Black Woman

    What does receiving support as a Black woman look like when there’s no one to call, no one to reach for, and no one checking in on you? In this episode, we're getting real about what it means to be your own support system when you’re literally all you’ve got. Not because you’re too proud to ask. Not because people keep letting you down. But because the support just isn’t there. I share my personal story of navigating lonely seasons, the grief that comes from having no one to lean on, and how I  learned to show up for myself in the meantime. But I also speak to the ache — the soul-deep longing to be supported for real. This episode is not about pretending it’s okay. It’s about naming what’s hard, holding space for it, and finding tenderness even in the absence. What You’ll Hear in This Episode: The grief of not having anyone to reach for The difference between being strong and being supported What receiving support as a Black woman looks like without a support system The small but powerful ways grace held her through it How to start with what’s real, even when it's not enough  Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Let’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com Related Episodes Learning to Hold Yourself When No One Else Does When Everything Feels Heavy

    17 min

  4. 12 SEPT.

    When Everything Feels Heavy

    The world is a lot right now. Some weeks feel heavier than others, and this has been one of those weeks. I wasn’t about to just move like nothing was happening, so I came to the mic to sit with it for a minute. So let's pause, take a deep breath, and remind ourselves what it feels like to held.  Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com

    6 min

  5. 9 SEPT.

    You Give a F*ck Way Too Much | The Emotional Labor of it All

    Have you ever rewritten the same text five times just to make sure it didn’t sound too harsh? Ever softened your “no” so it wouldn’t feel like rejection? Ever held back your truth to avoid being called “too much”? Yeah… me too. In this episode, I’m naming the emotional labor Black women carry just to be seen as “easy.” I’m talking about the constant back-bending, the tiptoeing, the fear of being left — and how all of that is tied to the way we’ve been conditioned to over-care. I talk about the fear of being misunderstood, the pressure to be liked, the desire not to make things weird. I share what it looked like for me to stop bending, stop rewriting, and stop managing everyone else’s comfort just so I wouldn’t be left. We explore the weight of emotional labor — how it shows up in our texts, our boundaries, and the ways we shrink ourselves to stay connected. And I offer a truth that might be hard to sit with: support that costs you your peace isn’t really support. This one is for the Black woman who’s tired of carrying everyone else’s reactions. Because support should feel like ease — not emotional gymnastics. And emotional labor and support are not the same thing. Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com

    13 min

  6. 29 AOÛT

    Learning to Hold Yourself When No One Else Does

    What do you do when you need to fall apart… but there’s no one there to hold you? This Support Snippet is me sitting with that exact question — and remembering what emotional care looked like back when I didn’t have to ask for it I’m reflecting on what emotional care looked like before life got complicated — and what it means to create that kind of care for yourself now. I’m taking you back to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches made with intention, quiet afternoons that felt like exhaling, and the kind of support that didn’t require me to be okay first. No fixing. No pressure. Just presence. These days, I’m the one everyone leans on — and maybe you are too. So I’m also naming what it feels like to carry that weight quietly, especially as a Black woman, and what it means to admit you still need to be held. If you’ve been moving through your days on autopilot, missing the kind of care you didn’t have to ask for, this episode is for you. Because emotional care for Black women isn’t optional. It’s necessary.And we shouldn’t have to hold it all in just because nobody’s offering to hold us. Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com

    7 min

  7. 26 AOÛT

    Hot Combs, Safe Spaces, and Growing Up Black

    For so many Black women, emotional safety started in the kitchen. The smell of Blue Magic, the sizzle of a straightening comb, the sound of “Hold your ear” — those weren’t just routines. They were rituals. In that chair by the stove, we found connection, care, and permission to let our guards down. Those moments — ordinary as they seemed — were often the first time emotional safety showed up for us.We didn’t always have the words for it back then, but we felt it. And these aren’t just memories. They’re reminders.Reminders that emotional safety is still possible, even if it looks different now. For Black women navigating life without those small sacred spaces, this episode is an invitation:To name the need.To remember you still deserve to be held.And to reclaim the truth that emotional safety isn’t new — it’s something we’ve known in our bones all along. Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com

    13 min

  8. 22 AOÛT

    You Don't Owe Struggle Your Loyalty

    When we talk about loyalty, most of us think about relationships, family, or friendships. But there’s another kind of loyalty we don’t talk about enough — our loyalty to struggle. As Black women, we’ve been taught that struggle is part of who we are. That staying in relationships, jobs, or communities that drain us somehow proves our strength. That choosing ease means we’re abandoning our people, our roots, or our role as the “strong one.” Choosinng suppot is not about abandoning your people or being selfish. It’s about telling the truth: you don't owe struggle your loyalty and staying in struggle is costing you more than leaving ever will.  Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com

    6 min
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Welcome to Shades of Strong®, the podcast where Black women come to be seen, heard, and supported. Home of Support Languages™ for Black Women, this is your sanctuary for redefining strength, releasing overwhelm, and rewriting the narrative of what it means to be the “strong one.”

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