97 episodes

This show was created to help you transform your relationships from the inside-out. You'll learn how your love psychology informs your relationships, how to remove any blocks to love and how to create your ideal relationship, whether you are dating or married.

The Love Psychologist: Transforming Your Relationships from the Inside-Out Dr. Paulette Sherman: Psychologist & Relationship Coach

    • Society & Culture
    • 4.7 • 15 Ratings

This show was created to help you transform your relationships from the inside-out. You'll learn how your love psychology informs your relationships, how to remove any blocks to love and how to create your ideal relationship, whether you are dating or married.

    Introduction to this podcast, The Love Psychologist

    Introduction to this podcast, The Love Psychologist

    In this introductory episode, Dr. Paulette Sherman explains how your love psychology, defensive styles, past baggage, limiting beliefs and relationship patterns may block your ability to move forward in love, whether you are dating or married.  Examples are given about how you contribute to what is not working in your relationships and how your partners can be mirrors for your growth. 

    • 19 min
    How Defenses Affect Your Relationship

    How Defenses Affect Your Relationship

    This episode discusses how we all have defenses that we use without our awareness.  We use them when we are afraid, in order to protect us from being hurt in love.  But, oftentimes these defensive styles create issues in our relationships, whether we are dating or married. They tend to push our partner or potential partner away and stop us from having intimacy and connection. Examples are given about how to identify your defensive style, to observe where it comes from and how to change it.  This opens up your ability to shift from fear into love and to have greater choice about how to move your relationship forward.

    • 24 min
    How Your Familial Blueprint Affects Your Relationship

    How Your Familial Blueprint Affects Your Relationship

    This episode explores how our early familial blueprint affects our romantic relationships when we are dating or married.  Our familial blueprint affects us in two ways: 
    We often unconsciously repeat the dynamics that our parents had with each other in our new relationship because it feels familiar;
    And, we may also choose partners similar to our opposite-sex parent, because that was what we learned about the opposite sex and how they would treat us.
    When we don't make the past conscious we are often doomed to repeat it.  So, we can find ourselves acting as our parents did in our marriage or choosing partners with the same characteristics as our parent.
    In order to create what we want now, we need to become conscious of our old blueprint and create a new one so that we have freedom of choice and can create the relationship we desire.
    This episode gives examples of how to do this so that you do not repeat the same old unhealthy patterns and can customize your relationship to your own values, lifestyle, personality, and desires. 
     
     

    • 14 min
    How Your Relationship Baggage & Limiting Beliefs Affect Your Relationship

    How Your Relationship Baggage & Limiting Beliefs Affect Your Relationship

    This episode explores how our limiting beliefs and relationship baggage can affect our romantic relationships, in dating and in marriage.  If we are not aware of past hurt and betrayals, this can adversely affect our ability to keep our hearts open to our spouse or to someone new.  Dr. Sherman addresses how this issue shows up in her dating coaching and couples therapy sessions and how people can learn to differentiate their past from the present and choose love over fear.
    In addition, limiting beliefs can create stuckness in relationships.  We often apply those beliefs to our partners and are unwilling to view situations from other perspectives.  Unless we make this conscious, we cannot move forward in new ways.  This episode will teach you how to remove this block to love.

    • 17 min
    How Your Relationship with No Affects Your Relationship

    How Your Relationship with No Affects Your Relationship

    This segment explores how your relationship to the word No can affect your relationships. For example:
    -How often you say no to your mate's bids for attention is highly predictive of divorce in marriage
    -Yet being able to hear no when there are differences of opinions is important to relationship success
    -When dating you can be a hyper-rejector and say no to too many people prematurely and this will hurt your chances at finding love
    -As a single, you can also be so worried about rejection and hearing no that you take yourself off the playing field!
    Don't let the above and so much more stop you.
    Listen to this episode and determine how you get tripped up by the word no so that you can start to work around it and move forward in your relationships and in life.
    If you want to learn more about identifying and improving negative thinking, you can get my book, 'The Gremlin: How to Shush that Negative Voice in Your Head:' https://www.amazon.com/Gremlin-Tools-Shush-Negative-Voice/dp/0991540522/ 
    You can learn more about Dr. Sherman and her relationship coaching at: www.DrPauletteSherman.com 

    • 14 min
    Dating and the Coronavirus

    Dating and the Coronavirus

    The Coronavirus and Dating: How to Love When You’re in a State of Fear?
    As a psychologist and dating coach, I’m thinking about how this coronavirus scare is currently affecting dating and how that might evolve.  The question on many singles' minds are: Will this coronavirus scare get worse, or perhaps, will it soon be contained, improve and will a vaccine be created?
    Dating is already often a process fraught with anxiety about the unknown. It can be challenging not to know if you’ll like this stranger or if they’ll like you if you will hear from your dates again, if they have STDs or if you’ll feel physically and emotionally safe with them.  As a dating coach, it can be part of your job to encourage people to put themselves out there, physically and emotionally. Now, psychologically you are adding an additional layer of fear for some singles, because they’re worrying about whether dating may expose them to the Coronavirus.  As a single they have no context for their date, for their date’s travels or health, and Coronavirus carriers can be asymptomatic.
    Conversely, these aforementioned fears of dating are often on par with the opposite fear that some singles have about not meeting someone and being alone during this pandemic.
    My intention for this article is to spread love and healing, not fear.  Sometimes making our fears conscious can help us to better normalize and metabolize them and make us feel less alone.
    Of course, there are also many singles that are still dating and living their lives normally. They have not let fear change their inner or outer view of dating. Some report taking a Zen approach, remarking that we will all probably get the Coronavirus but that hopefully, it won’t be that bad or deadly. Some people are even using humor to lighten this weighty topic and are putting Coronavirus pickup lines on their dating profiles.
    So, the fears and reactions from singles are mixed. One recent survey said that 33 percent of singles are worried about dating now. On the flip side, one dating app survey reported that dating app signups are up 29 percent.  Some singles are aiming to have a ‘virtual relationship,’ which could be seen as a psychic and physical compromise so that they don’t feel alone but also aren’t physically exposed.
    Fears can make people contract, take fewer risks and can negatively impact their decision-making. Also, fear can breed more fear through a process called Potentiation, where once you are primed for fear than even benign events can seem scary.  People can to go into Freeze, Fight or Flight response when afraid.  Freezing means they would just stop dating and then decide what to do next.  If you have a Fight response, you’d decide how to directly deal with the threat.  If you tend to Flee or use Flight, you would avoid and work around this threat, like maybe just talking to people online and not in person, or avoiding dating for a while.
    During this unknown time of the coronavirus, some singles are experiencing a drive to isolate and an opposing one to powerfully connect and bond. It may help to make these fears conscious on both sides of the equation:
    Some Increased Fears that Singles are having re Dating:
    Fear of Physical Intimacy- The media has advised, ‘social distance’ and have said that this coronavirus can be passed through a distance of 6 feet, through a cough or bodily fluid.  Where does this leave the dating ritual of, ‘the goodnight kiss?’ It gives a whole new meaning to contraceptives and people have been posting funny pictures of all the outfit getups that people are already wearing about town to protect themselves.  ‘So, how does one look their best, flirt and romantically connect during a date while maintaining safety and social connection?’
    Fear of Emotional Intimacy- Some singles fear to connect and get close to someone new when they imagine that person could get sick and die soon. Also, they report being wary of adding

    • 15 min

Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5
15 Ratings

15 Ratings

Better Postpartum Podcast ,

The best!

Loving this podcast! So many great little nuggets in every episode.
- Angel Swon

Create Nicknameggttgh ,

Easy listening

I am so glad I found this podcast. Paulette is so relatable and easy to listen to. I look forward to listening to more episodes.

Aevanger ,

Great Podcast!

Such great information from a doctor who really knows her stuff.

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