Love Without Asterisks

Jeff Click

Hosted by a dad who grew up in a conservative faith world and is now raising an LGBTQ+ child, this podcast explores what it means to love without conditions. Through honest conversations, real stories, and reflections on family, faith, and identity, it’s a guide for parents, friends, and anyone navigating the journey of supporting their LGBTQ+ someone.

Episodes

  1. 03 | From Foundation To Renovation | Dr. David P. Gushee

    JAN 1

    03 | From Foundation To Renovation | Dr. David P. Gushee

    What happens when the beliefs that once held everything together can no longer carry the weight of real life? In this foundational conversation, Jeff Click sits down with Christian ethicist David P. Gushee, whose early work helped shape modern evangelical ethics before a career-defining pivot reframed both his scholarship and his calling. Best known today for Changing Our Mind, Gushee reflects on how a series of transformative encounters with LGBTQ people he loved and served compelled him to rethink long-held interpretations of Scripture without abandoning his faith. Drawing on Gushee’s theological journey and Jeff’s lived experience as the parent of an LGBTQ+ child, this episode reframes deconstruction not as demolition, but as careful, faithful reconstruction. Together, they explore the idea of “load-bearing beliefs,” why so many parents and pastors feel frozen rather than resistant, and how love often demands a rebuild of what once felt foundational. This is a conversation about loyalty, empathy, silence, and the courage to change our mind when love leads the rebuild. For parents, pastors, and anyone navigating the tension between deeply held beliefs and lived reality, this episode offers clarity, language, and permission to move forward without tearing everything down. This episode is a slow, thoughtful walk through what happens when faith formed in one season of life encounters realities it was never designed to hold. Jeff Click and David P. Gushee explore the tension between honoring a foundation that once provided meaning and clarity, and recognizing when love and lived experience require something more.Rather than framing change as abandonment or rebellion, the conversation centers on renovation and reconstruction; what it looks like to redistribute weight, reinterpret authority, and remain faithful without pretending nothing has shifted. Drawing from Gushee’s own career-defining pivot and Jeff’s experience as the parent of an LGBTQ+ child, this episode models how change often unfolds: slowly, relationally, and at real personal cost. Key Themes & Ideas Discussed Foundation vs. Renovation | Jeff introduces construction language to distinguish between tearing something down and carefully rebuilding what still matters when circumstances change.Load-Bearing Beliefs | Certain beliefs are treated as structurally essential, carrying emotional and spiritual weight far beyond their actual scope, which is why questioning them can feel threatening to the entire faith system.Frozen vs. Stubborn | Gushee differentiates between people who actively resist change and those who are immobilized because they cannot yet see a faithful next step forward.Transformative Encounter | Real change most often occurs not through abstract argument, but through embodied relationships with real people—especially people we love.Parents and First Contact | Parents typically encounter these questions without preparation, learning in real time, while pastors and church leaders have had years to anticipate and respond.Evangelical Totalism | Both reflect on a faith culture that sought to govern every aspect of life, offering clarity and purpose while also embedding assumptions that went largely unexamined.A Flat Bible vs. A Jesus-Centered Reading | Gushee challenges the idea that all parts of Scripture carry equal interpretive weight, emphasizing Jesus as the lens through which Christians have historically read the Bible.Deconstruction Reframed | Deconstruction is presented not as rejection of faith, but as the uncovering of interpretations that no longer align with love, justice, or lived reality.Silence as Communication | Jeff describes how institutional silence around LGBTQ topics communicates values just as clearly as explicit teaching, often with harmful consequences.Avoidism in Church Leadership | Gushee names the point at which avoiding the issue is no longer morally or pastorally defensible.Loyalty Reordered | A pivotal shift occurs when loyalty moves away from institution, reputation, or comfort and toward one’s child or loved one.Honor and Dishonor | Both discuss the social and relational cost of change, including loss of standing, access, and perceived credibility within faith communities.Empathy Under Fire | The episode confronts the growing backlash against empathy, reframing it as essential to human and Christian maturity rather than a threat to truth.Human Suffering, Not PR | The church’s central crisis is named not as a public relations problem, but as the real human suffering its teachings have caused.Mental Health Stakes | The conversation highlights research showing that family acceptance dramatically improves mental health outcomes for LGBTQ youth.Reconstruction as Faithfulness | Gushee reflects on how his work shifted after Changing Our Mind, becoming focused on helping others rebuild faith rather than discard it.Hesed (Steadfast Love) | The episode closes with the Hebrew concept of covenantal, unbreakable love as the grounding force that allows families to move forward together.This episode does not offer quick answers or tidy conclusions. Instead, it offers language, permission, and companionship for those standing in the in-between, no longer able to stay where they were, but unwilling to burn everything down. At its core, this conversation argues that reconstruction is not a failure of faith, but a sign of responsibility. When love leads the rebuild, what emerges is not a weaker structure, but one capable of sheltering real people in real life. Linkable Mentions🌐 David P. Gushee |  Official websiteDr. Gushee’s primary hub featuring his full bibliography, current projects, speaking engagements, and access to his ongoing writing and public scholarship.🎥 Dr. David Gushee — Ending the Teaching of Contempt Against the Church’s Sexual MinoritiesIn this pivotal lecture, David P. Gushee names and confronts the historic Christian practice of contempt toward sexual minorities, calling the church toward repentance, moral clarity, and reconstruction rooted in the teachings of Jesus. 📘 Changing Our Mind by David P. GusheeA landmark work in which Dr. Gushee traces his own theological pivot, arguing that faithful Christianity requires reexamining long-held teachings about LGBTQ people in light of Scripture, love, and lived experience. 📘 Kingdom Ethics by David P. Gushee & Glen StassenAn influential ethics text that helped shape a generation of evangelical moral thinking, grounding Christian public witness in the teachings of Jesus before Gushee’s later work expanded the conversation toward reconstruction and inclusion.✍️ David P. Gushee on Substack |  Essays, commentary, and long-form writingDr. Gushee’s newsletter and long-form writing space, where he reflects on faith, ethics, politics, and the ongoing work of Christian moral reconstruction in real time. 🌐 The Reformation Project |  Faith-based LGBTQ inclusion resourcesAn organization equipping Christians and churches to engage Scripture, theology, and lived experience in ways that affirm LGBTQ people while remaining rooted in historic Christian faith. 🌐 Family Acceptance Project |  Research on family acceptance and LGBTQ youth outcomesA leading research initiative demonstrating how family acceptance dramatically improves mental health and well-being outcomes for LGBTQ youth, often cited in conversations about faith, parenting, and care.

    1h 15m
  2. 02 | Part 2 | The Redemption: From Heartbreak to a Global Embrace | Sara Cunningham

    12/01/2025

    02 | Part 2 | The Redemption: From Heartbreak to a Global Embrace | Sara Cunningham

    Before Free Mom Hugs became a global embrace, it was one mother standing in the heat of an Oklahoma Pride parade with a handmade button and a heart full of questions. In this second half of their two-part conversation, Sara Cunningham returns to the moment curiosity became courage. It is the chapter where love stops lingering in fear and finally steps into the open. In this continuation, Sara Cunningham, founder of Free Mom Hugs and author of How We Sleep at Night, sits with Jeff Click to trace the turning points that reshaped her faith, her activism, and the direction of her life. Together they revisit her first intentional interaction with the LGBTQ+ community, the stories that kept her awake for nights afterward, and the awakening that began when a stranger said it had been four years since she had a hug from her mother.They explore how simple gestures became a lifeline for people who had lost belonging because of their identity, how misinformation and bad theology once shaped Sara’s worldview, and how curiosity created enough breathing room for truth to break through. What began with volunteering in clothing closets, assisting with second chance proms, and learning from support groups eventually grew into a nationwide movement of affirmation and advocacy.Jeff shares his own family’s experience at Pride and the moment he watched his wife step into a parade line with open arms, recognizing the transformative power of presence. Together, they reflect on the renovation of belief, the spiritual revelations that allowed Sara to reclaim her faith, and how choosing to listen changed everything.If you’ve ever wrestled with faith, identity, and fear in the presence of someone you love...this episode invites you to consider that curiosity may be the first step toward clarity. And that love, once freed from fear, has the power to reconstruct everything. In This Conversation You’ll Hear:The Spark at Pride | How one handmade button and a single hug ignited a global LGBTQ+ support movement.Awakening and Accountability | What Sara learned as she listened to stories of rejection, resilience, and survival.Curiosity as a Spiritual Tool | Why staying in the room became the turning point in her faith journey.Renovating Belief | How Sara reframed Scripture, rediscovered God, and found clarity beyond fear.Presence in Action | How volunteering in Oklahoma City’s LGBTQ+ community shaped the early years of Free Mom Hugs.A Father’s Perspective | Jeff’s first Pride experience and the moment that changed his understanding of love and allyship.The Global Embrace | How Free Mom Hugs expanded into a nationwide and international network of fully affirming volunteers.Parents Like Us, Then | Why families in the early stages of the journey need to hear from voices who have lived it.If you have an LGBTQ+ someone in your life, this episode offers clarity, compassion, and hope. It is not about leaving faith behind. It is about rediscovering it through love that refuses to hide. Linkable Mentions🌐 Free Mom Hugs | The nationwide nonprofit founded by Sara Cunningham, offering affirmation, visibility, and support to LGBTQ+ people and families across all 50 states. 📖 How We Sleep at Night | Sara’s memoir about faith, identity, reconciliation, and the early seeds of the Free Mom Hugs movement. 💌 Metamorphosis | Jeff’s guided 8-week journey toward unconditional love for your LGBTQ+ someone. Keywords#LoveWithoutAsterisks #FreeMomHugs #SaraCunningham #HowWeSleepAtNight #LGBTQStories #LGBTQSupport #LGBTQAffirming #ChristianParents #LGBTQFaithJourney #AffirmingFaith #Pride #PrideOklahomaCity #LGBTQCommunity #LGBTQFamily #LoveOverFear #Deconstruction #Reconstruction #OklahomaCity #JeffClick #LGBTQPodcast #LGBTQActivism

    48 min
  3. 02 | Part 1 | The Reckoning: When Fear Delays Love | Sara Cunningham

    11/01/2025

    02 | Part 1 | The Reckoning: When Fear Delays Love | Sara Cunningham

    Before Free Mom Hugs became a global movement, it was just one mom in Oklahoma, holding a secret she didn’t know how to carry. In this first half of a two-part conversation, Sara Cunningham—founder, author, and affirming mother—opens the door to her earliest struggle: the years she resisted her son’s truth, clinging to a faith that taught her love had limits. Together, Sara and Jeff look back on the collision between belief and belonging—the nights of prayer, the silence that stretched for years, and the moment a mother realized that “doing the right thing” had cost her time she could never get back. This is the part of the story where fear delays love. Where theology feels like armor but becomes a cage. Where a mother’s tears mark the beginning of her unlearning. Part 2, The Redemption, will reveal what happened next—how heartbreak became hope, and how one handmade button sparked a movement that now spans the globe. But first, Part 1 takes us to the moment before the hug, when love was still finding its way out of the closet. Show NotesBefore Free Mom Hugs became a global embrace, it was one mother’s reckoning with fear, faith, and the cost of delay. In this first half of a two-part conversation, Sara Cunningham—founder of Free Mom Hugs and author of How We Sleep at Night—joins Jeff Click to revisit the years she resisted her son’s truth, convinced that loving him without conditions might cost her faith. Together they trace the blueprint of a conservative evangelical worldview that once taught her that acceptance was sin, and explore what happens when devotion to doctrine eclipses a child’s need for safety and belonging. They discuss the night Sara’s son came out, the silence that followed, and the moment she realized her faith had built walls where love was meant to live. She shares how years of prayer, fear, and “good intentions” created distance she could never recover, and how one sentence from her son— “Mom, I’ve sucked it up for 21 years being your son. I need you to suck it up now and be my mom.”—became the beginning of her return. In this conversation, they unpack how shame disguised as holiness can fracture families, why silence from church circles deepens isolation, and how fear and ignorance keep both parent and child trapped in parallel closets. Together, they reflect on what it means to move from certainty to compassion, and how losing time can become the catalyst for gaining perspective. If you’ve ever wrestled between belief and belonging...as a parent, friend, sibling, or co-worker to someone who’s come out...this episode invites you to pause, listen, and consider that love delayed is still love waiting to be born. In This Conversation You’ll Hear: The Reckoning | How doing what feels “right” can lead to pain, distance, and years that can’t be reclaimed.Faith vs. Fear | How a conservative evangelical worldview shaped Sara’s early reactions—and how she began to unlearn them.Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin | Why that phrase became a wedge in her family and a turning point in her theology.Silence & Isolation | The cost of missed years and what it means to lose an entire adolescence to fear.Parallel Closets | How Parker came out of his closet—and Sara went into hers.Presence Over Perfection | Why early affirmation matters more than getting it all right.The Global Embrace Begins | The seeds of a movement planted in pain that would later circle the globe as Free Mom Hugs. If you have an LGBTQ+ someone in your life, this episode offers understanding, humility, and hope. It’s not about replacing faith—it’s about rediscovering it through love. Next time, in Episode 02, Part 2 | The Redemption: From Heartbreak to a Global Embrace, Jeff and Sara explore how one mother’s pain became purpose, how a handmade button sparked a movement, and how love, when freed from fear, can change the world. Linkable Mentions🌐 Free Mom Hugs | The national nonprofit founded by Sara Cunningham that empowers the world to celebrate the LGBTQ+ community through visibility, education, and unconditional love.📖 How We Sleep at Night: A Mother’s Memoir | Sara’s deeply personal story of faith, loss, and reconciliation.📸 @saraphrased | Follow Sara Cunningham on Instagram for updates, advocacy, and Free Mom Hugs stories.💌 Metamorphosis | Jeff’s free 8-week guided email journey toward loving without asterisks. KeywordsSara Cunningham interview, Free Mom Hugs founder, How We Sleep at Night book, LGBTQ Christian parents, faith and LGBTQ stories, affirming parenting, conservative evangelical deconstruction, Love Without Asterisks podcast, LGBTQ acceptance Oklahoma, Jeff Click, LGBTQ allyship, affirming families, LGBTQ siblings and friends, LGBTQ faith journey, unconditional love podcast, Christian parents of gay kids, Free Mom Hugs Oklahoma City, LGBTQ advocacy, LGBTQ inclusion in church, global embrace movement.

    49 min
  4. 01 | The Signal Is The Love | Peter Fulmer

    10/01/2025

    01 | The Signal Is The Love | Peter Fulmer

    Love Without Asterisks is a podcast about what happens when the blueprint you’ve built your life around no longer fits the people you love most. If you have an LGBTQ+ someone in your life, this is for you. In Episode 1, Jeff welcomes longtime friend Peter Fulmer—dad to two LGBTQ kids—to show how presence, not perfection, becomes the clearest signal of love. Jeff, in his intro, lays the foundation for what’s ahead by naming the gap between a worldview shaped by tradition and the lived reality of parenting an LGBTQ+ child. He and Peter trace how moving from fixing to listening became the turning point, and why the clearest signal amid all the cultural and religious noise is always love. Show NotesIn their conversation, they discuss practical ways to tune toward connection and mute the static of fear, bias, and external expectations of faith communities, family, and culture. They explore how the very obstacles parents fear can become the pathway to deeper trust and presence, and why showing up imperfectly is more powerful than waiting for the perfect words. They unpack where “helping” can unintentionally slip into control, how silence from circles without vocabulary can feel isolating, and why one honest friendship became a lifeline. Peter also shares how his family faced bullying and safety concerns, underscoring that keeping a child alive, anchored, and loved must come before everything else. Together, they reflect on the power of transformative encounters, echoing Dr. David Gushee’s insight that lived experience at your own table changes everything.If you have an LGBTQ+ someone in your life, this first episode offers both hope and clarity. It’s not about fixing a problem, it’s about staying present, protecting connection, and letting love...not noise...set the frequency. In this conversation you’ll hear: Signal vs. Noise: Practical ways to tune toward connection and mute the static of fear, bias, and external expectations of faith communities, family, and culture.The Obstacle Is the Way: How the very tension parents fear can become the pathway to deeper trust and presence.Presence over Perfection: Why showing up imperfectly is more powerful than waiting for the perfect words.Blind Spots & Bias: Where “helping” can unintentionally slip into control—and how to step back into empathy.Silence & Loneliness: What it feels like when your circles don’t have a vocabulary for this—and how one honest friendship became a lifeline.Safety First: Why the ultimate priority is keeping your child alive, anchored, and loved—everything else is noise.Transformative Encounters: Why lived experience at your own table changes everything, echoing Dr. David Gushee’s insights.If you have an LGBTQ+ someone in your life, this first episode offers both hope and clarity. It’s not about fixing a problem—it’s about staying present, protecting connection, and letting love—not noise—set the frequency.

    1h 29m

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
7 Ratings

About

Hosted by a dad who grew up in a conservative faith world and is now raising an LGBTQ+ child, this podcast explores what it means to love without conditions. Through honest conversations, real stories, and reflections on family, faith, and identity, it’s a guide for parents, friends, and anyone navigating the journey of supporting their LGBTQ+ someone.