Lovelasting Jennifer Grayda

In this episode, I make a comeback after a hiatus to address the questions surrounding the podcast's absence. Starting this podcast was a way for me to share my thoughts and, unexpectedly, I discovered that speaking my thoughts out loud had a profound impact on me. It breathed life into my ideas, causing them to blossom and sometimes even change. This newfound realization shook me, as it made me question long-held beliefs that had shaped my entire life. I found myself struggling to handle these new emotions and resorted to pushing them aside, pretending they didn't exist. However, life continued to throw curveballs my way, and it became impossible to maintain the facade of who I thought I needed to be. Over the past year and a half, I embarked on a journey of intense self-reflection and inner work, largely hidden from the public eye. I learned that life never stops moving and changing, and I was faced with a choice: to be pushed by pain or to be pulled by vision. I had to confront my fear of death, not just in a physical sense, but also the death of relationships, situations, and the version of myself that I had meticulously crafted over the years. Letting go of that version was terrifying because it meant stepping into unfamiliar territory, halfway between who I thought I was and who I wanted to become. During this process, I experienced vivid dreams that urged me to do things that seemed nonsensical at first. In a moment of frustration and anger, I reluctantly followed the guidance of these dreams, only to regret it immediately. But something unexpected happened – my fear started to fade, and it was replaced by love. The anger I held onto transformed into clarity, and the void I felt was no longer empty. I began to understand that the fear I had clung to prevented love from fully residing in my heart. It was then that I realized the importance of choosing love over fear and allowing it to be the foundation of my being. While I still experience moments of fear, I am now more aware of what I invite into my heart. As I reflect on my dreams and nightmares, I recognize the power of speaking them out loud. In sharing my dream to help people find their purpose through pain and my nightmare of living a life consumed by fear, I hope to inspire others to embrace their own dreams and confront their fears. The pursuit of material possessions and external sources of love proved empty, and I discovered that love had to start within me. As a mother, I long for a world with less pain and more love, and I believe that by alleviating someone's pain and teaching them to do the same for others, we can create a significant shift. Money and possessions hold little meaning unless they are shared and enjoyed with love. As I navigate this season of change and self-discovery, I aim to become a catalyst for positive transformation. While I won't be releasing episodes weekly, I will pop in occasionally with updates and share my ongoing journey. Stay tuned for the next season of my life, as I continue to figure out what it holds. Thank you for your support, and remember that I love you all to the moon and back.

Surprise Birthday Episode: Dealing with Fear, managing thoughts and perception!
Happy Birthday To Me!
Welcome back to the podcast! This is the second episode of the week, and it's a special one because it's the my 39th birthday. 38 was the year I realized that I lived most of my life in fear and I was pretty much living like a robot who was programmed how to think. I set out to find answers to my questions and discovered that we are all here to share our hearts, visions, gifts, and talents. Each one of us has a unique frequency or medicine for the world. However, at some point in time, everyone has felt the feeling of lack, insufficiency, and not being enough. If we were all born perfect, then at what point did we become less than? I've gone through some of roughest waves of emotions, but I chose to go through those feelings because I knew that I was powerful, benevolent, kind, loving, and had the ability to create a fulfilling life so I was determined to get to the bottom of whatever had me blocked.

Becoming a Single Mom, Surrendering and Understanding Polarities
In this episode, I talk a personal story that I never fully shared before. I discuss a period in my 20s after having my first son and becoming a single mother where I had to relinquish control and hand it over to God and the universe. I had to let go of whatever expectations or attachments I made and just surrender.
I also dive into how I was raised in an environment where traditionally masculine energy was encouraged and how that resulted in traits such as excessive control and aggression, as a way of coping with challenges or trauma as I got older.
Another topic I dive into is my experience with pain and heartache. Contrary to popular belief, it doesn't have to be a scary experience. Instead, it serves as a reminder of our shared humanity and our ability to connect with ourselves on a deeper level. The process of embracing pain can be a powerful catalyst for transformation, ultimately pushing us to grow and evolve.
While it may seem like an overwhelming experience in the moment, it's important to remember that pain is temporary. It has the ability to teach us valuable lessons about ourselves, the world around us, and the people we share it with. Even the struggles we face today can act as a source of strength tomorrow. By staying true to yourself and your values, you can emerge from difficult times with newfound clarity and purpose.
When you embrace your pain, it has the ability to transform you into a more authentic and compassionate individual. It allows you to develop the resilience necessary to navigate future challenges, ultimately leading you towards a more fulfilling life.

Resisting Change & Being Stuck.
How do we move past feeling stuck and embrace our true freedom. Have you ever felt overwhelmed by all the options life has to offer? Are you afraid of making a wrong decision?
When we're born, we have no real freedom because there's not really any other choice. We can't communicate beyond crying, and we can't even hold up our own heads. All that's left is for us to try and adapt to live in this world in the bodies we were born into.
After living most of your life with someone else deciding what you should do or eat, suddenly having free will was overwhelming!
We also discuss the importance of embracing change to live a more fulfilling life. It's common to fear the unknown and resist change, but this can leave us stuck in situations that no longer serve us.
I talk about how this mindset can lead to living a materialistic life, where we seek safety in possessions that ultimately bring little joy or excitement.
Instead, we become exhausted from working multiple jobs just to sustain this lifestyle, or turn to credit cards to keep up. Resisting Change isn't just Resisting life - Resisting change can lead to burn out, illness, and feeling lifeless. At least, that's what happened to me.

Living in the present, embracing the void, and going back to comfort your childhood self.
Have you ever felt attacked after hearing someone say something that had nothing to do with you? Maybe it wasn't even relevant to you, but something in their words made your defensive walls go up.
When we start to really understand our feelings and why they are present in our lives, it can be incredibly freeing. During a recent podcast, I heard someone speak about the idea that each of us is our own universe. This resonated deeply with me because for the longest time I'd been trying to fit myself into roles where I had to act a certain way and be someone else entirely. When I heard this, I realized that all I needed to do was activate my desired characters and let this part of me out - the version of me that's been kept inside for so long.
These moments can completely rock your world and shift life in an entirely new direction. Everything suddenly makes sense - no matter how random or unexpected it may be.
Understanding why your feelings are present in your life can add immense freedom and clarity. Acknowledging who you truly want to be can help unlock parts of yourself that have been held back.
Unexpected moments or conversations can bring newfound clarity that leads to positive change.
Living in the present can be difficult, particularly when you are transitioning from one part of your life to another. This period can feel like a void and it can be intimidating, as we don’t know how to approach situations or feelings that may arise during this time. The key is to embrace this void and accept whatever comes your way, knowing that it will eventually pass.
When faced with difficult emotions or situations, we tend to try and ignore them in order not to bring them into our future lives. But by allowing ourselves to feel these emotions and take the necessary steps towards dealing with them in the present moment, we don’t have to worry about carrying them around for days or weeks on end. We can learn from our experiences, grow and heal more quickly to transform those emotions by rewriting the story we told ourselves.
Living in the present means embracing all aspects of ourselves - both past and future - so that we can move forward without being weighed down by regret or fear of the unknown.
We all have an inner child that is scared and uncertain about the future. But no matter how intimidating the outside world can be, you are never alone. You have the strength to carry yourself through tough times, you just need to rely on your own courage and capabilities.
When life gets too hard, take a minute to appreciate how far you’ve come and remind yourself that you are capable of getting through anything. Embrace your vulnerabilities and seek out the lessons in them; be brave, be courageous and love yourself for it.

In today's episode we explore the power of calibration and energy. I talk about how to shift your calibration from feelings of failure to a feeling of success and possibility. I also discuss my experience teaching dance through energetics because dance is not just about steps and technique but also about capturing and transforming emotions.
This is a concept that was introduced to me by Shoshanna Raven: https://www.instagram.com/shoshanna_raven/
I also talk about the concept of investing energy and emotions in various aspects of life and how to take inventory of where you're investing, as every investment either makes you more or leaves you less.
Another important topic I discuss is self-expression and how it's a powerful tool that we often underestimate. Journaling has become increasingly popular as a means of manifesting our inner thoughts and feelings into the world. However, it's essential to remember that journaling is just one way to express ourselves.
We can also dance, create art, sing, play sports or engage in any activity that elevates our energy and happiness levels. It's crucial to invest in these types of activities regularly because they help us calibrate to a higher frequency.
If you're in a season of life that feels challenging or unenjoyable, remember that seasons always change. It's okay to feel the emotions associated with difficult times, but don't dwell on them. Instead, focus on expressing yourself through positive activities and connecting with others who understand what you're going through.
I got you.
If you're interested in becoming part of my upcoming test group send me a message and let's find out if it's a match: https://www.instagram.com/lovelastingjenn/