Lunchtime in Rome

Lunchtime In Rome
  • 4.1 (20)
  • SELF-IMPROVEMENT
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Why do you feel alone? www.lunchtimeinrome.com

  1. 4D AGO

    Grief Code | Episode 313

    Why Do People Make Such a Big Deal Over the Smallest Things? In this week’s episode of Lunchtime in Rome, the guys welcomed Amy Hammond back to the table for a powerful and deeply personal conversation sparked by a viral video clip from persuasion expert Chase Hughes (former Navy intelligence, jury consultant, and behavior decoder). The core idea they unpacked? Every “bad,” dramatic, irrational, or over-the-top behavior you see in yourself or others is actually grief in disguise. Hughes calls it the “Grief Code,” and the guys spent the evening exploring how our reactions today are often just old childhood software still running the show. The Childhood Triangle Hughes explains that between ages 0–10 we download three primal scripts that still drive us as adults: * Friends – “Will I be liked?” * Safety – “Am I going to be okay?” * Reward – “Will I be chosen?” When any of these feel threatened, the nervous system lights up like we’re still eight years old. A boss ignoring your idea? Second-grade kickball rejection. Partner criticizes you? Waiting to get grounded at seven. Left out of a group chat? That sting of not being picked for the team. The guys loved the simple decoder Hughes gives: * Notice when the reaction is way bigger than the situation (that’s grief talking). * Ask: “What are they (or I) afraid of losing?” * Speak to the loss, not the logic. People don’t need fixing—they need a translator who sees the bruise beneath the behavior. What Hit Home for the Guys * The radical statement that “there is no such thing as a grown-up.” Age and responsibilities don’t equal emotional maturity. The moment we pretend we’ve “arrived,” our souls stop growing. * “Behavior is an encrypted grief file.” The guys kept repeating that line—it reframes difficult people (and our own quirks) with so much compassion. * Self-comfort and inner-child language: letting the younger version of you speak, then telling them, “I see you… but I’ve got you now.” * How this lines up perfectly with the show’s heartbeat—Romans 12:15: “Rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn.” The guys have been teaching emotional needs and “coming alongside” for years; this video felt like someone handed them a high-powered flashlight for the same truth. They also shared personal “aha” moments—times when modern-day triggers instantly transported them back to junior-high rejection, family stress, or feeling unseen—and how naming the grief and receiving comfort (from others and from their own adult selves) has been life-changing. The Light-Hearted Closer Because no Lunchtime in Rome episode is complete without a ridiculous debate, the guys ended by revealing their personal Mount Rushmore of Cereals (with plenty of laughter, nostalgia, and one very strong opinion about drinking the leftover milk). Honeycombs, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Raisin Bran, and Frosted Mini-Wheats all made the podium. If you’ve ever wondered why people (including yourself) overreact to the “smallest things,” this episode will give you fresh eyes, fresh compassion, and a practical way to respond with understanding instead of frustration. Grab the full episode wherever you listen to podcasts or watch on YouTube. While you’re at it, head to lunchtimeinrome.com and take the free Relational Needs Questionnaire—it pairs perfectly with everything the guys discussed tonight. See you at the table next week for Episode 314. Pull up a seat—you belong here. Get full access to Lunchtime In Rome Podcast at www.lunchtimeinrome.com/subscribe

    1h 8m

  2. FEB 19

    Comfort Corrected | Episode 312

    How to Actually Comfort Someone (Without Making It Worse)Lunchtime in Rome Episode 312 “I want them to stop crying. There, there, shut up now.” That’s how the episode opens — with the exact wrong way most of us comfort people. We mean well. We really do. But good intentions plus zero skill usually equals “thanks… I feel worse now.” In episode 312 the guys finally give comfort the deep dive it deserves. They pull the Hebrew word Nacham (נָחַם) out of the Old Testament and blow it up so we can all see what real comfort actually looks like. What “Comfort” Really Means (According to the Bible) Nacham doesn’t mean “pat them on the back and quote a verse.”It literally means to breathe intensely because of deep emotion — to sigh with someone who is sighing, to groan with someone who is groaning. It’s the same word family as Nehemiah (“comfort of Yahweh”) and it shows up in Psalm 23:“Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.”Even God’s discipline and direction feel like comfort when they come from Someone who is fully with you. Paul picks up the same idea in Romans 12:15:“Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” Comfort isn’t fixing. It’s joining. The 5 Things You Need to Actually Comfort Someone The guys laid out a simple checklist. Miss any one of these and you’ll probably make things worse. * Be Approachable If people feel judged the second they open their mouth, they’ll never let you in. Drop the immediate facts, logic, and Bible verses. Just be safe to talk to. * Actually Want To Comfort is a discipline, not a feeling. Decide ahead of time that you’re willing to step into someone else’s pain instead of hoping they’ll “stop crying soon.” * Identify What’s Really Being Felt Surface: “They’re sad.” Deeper: “They’re hurt because they feel abandoned.” Even deeper: “This reminds them of every time they were left as a kid.” You can’t join what you can’t name. * Feel It With Them (Without Making It About You) This is the hard one. Jay talked about walking the tightrope with his wife Amy — joining her frustration without letting it become his frustration. You step into their story using your own emotions, but you keep the focus on them. * Have the Emotional Reserve to Show Up You can’t pour from an empty cup. Guard your margin. Be emotionally healthy enough that when the big moment comes, you still have gas in the tank. Why Most Comfort Fails * We try to fix instead of join. * We give answers instead of presence. * We’re secretly hoping their pain ends quickly so we can get back to our own life. * We have no emotional margin left because we said yes to everyone all week. The result? The person walks away thinking, “Even the people who love me can’t handle my pain.” The Fun Part: Greatest Location-Specific Food Moments Because no Lunchtime in Rome episode is complete without talking about food, the guys asked listeners:“What’s the greatest food + place combo that only hits right there, right then?” Some favorites that came in: * Homemade potato salad at a summer picnic * Soft-serve ice cream on the Jersey Shore boardwalk * Mountain pies (any filling) cooked over a campfire * Peel-and-eat shrimp by the ocean (pounds and pounds of them) * Potato Patch fries with gravy at Kennywood… but only when it’s freezing during Holiday Lights * A cold Italian sub in Titusville, smashed in your backpack on the bike trail * Beach burgers and thick shakes * And of course, Jay’s legendary hot dog at the turn on the golf course at Chestnut Ridge Jay summed it up perfectly: everything just tastes better at the beach. (We all nodded vigorously.) Final Thoughts Comfort isn’t a personality gift. It’s a skill. And like any skill, it gets better with practice. So next time someone you love is hurting, don’t rush to make it stop.Breathe with them.Sigh with them.Join them. That’s Nacham. That’s comfort done right. Pull up a seat at the table anytime📍 lunchtimeinrome.comTake the free Relational Needs Questionnaire while you’re there — it’s eye-opening. And if you’ve been listening for a while, do the hosts a favor: leave a 5-star review, share the episode, and consider becoming a paid subscriber. March 1st they’re dropping the new paid-subscriber intro (and apparently Jess from Mohan’s is coming for Joe, so that should be entertaining). See you next week for episode 313.Until then, go love somebody well today. Get full access to Lunchtime In Rome Podcast at www.lunchtimeinrome.com/subscribe

    1h 5m
  3. Why We Shouldn't Judge | Episode 311

    FEB 12

    Why We Shouldn't Judge | Episode 311

    Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight’s episode 311 is entitled “Why we shouldn’t judge”. We know that we shouldn’t judge others for their behaviors, but why? What are the reasons behind it? How is it more destructive than maybe we’ve thought? We’ll be talking about that at The Table this evening. Pull up a seat at the table and join us! Get full access to Lunchtime In Rome Podcast at www.lunchtimeinrome.com/subscribe

    1 hr

  4. JAN 29

    Why We Judge | Episode 310

    In this episode of the Lunchtime in Rome podcast, entitled “Why We Judge,” the guys sit down to peel back the layers of a struggle we all face: the tendency to pass judgment on others. From parking lot frustrations to professional incompetence, the conversation explores why certain behaviors trigger us more than others. Snow Days and Fingerprinting Frustrations The episode kicks off with the guys catching up on a week dominated by heavy snow and remote instruction in the Pittsburgh area. Chris shares a recent “red-zone” moment at a fingerprinting agency in Monroeville, where a combination of administrative incompetence and a fellow citizen’s lack of manners led him to deliver the now-iconic line: “Nice manners, sir”. The Roots of Judgment The heart of the discussion focuses on identifying the “why” behind our judgmental impulses. The guys break down three primary drivers that often fuel our internal (and external) critiques: * Emotional Needs Clashes: We often judge behaviors that directly conflict with our own highest emotional needs, such as respect or acceptance. * Past Hurts: Our reactions are often a microcosm of times we have been slighted or inconvenienced in the past. * Defense Mechanisms: It is often easier to point out the “sin” or flaws in others as a way to avoid looking inward at our own shortcomings. Stadium Eats and Closing Thoughts To lighten the mood, the guys wrap up with a round of their go-to stadium foods. The highlights include: * Chris: The classic footlong hot dog with onions and peppers. * Eric: A traditional Primanti’s sandwich at a Penguins game. * Jay: Stadium nachos topped with “miserably hot” jalapeños. * Brian: A buttery lobster roll—a favorite from a trip to a Mets game. Ready to dive deeper? > Visit lunchtimeinrome.com to take the Relational Needs Questionnaire and discover what might be fueling your own perspectives at the table. Get full access to Lunchtime In Rome Podcast at www.lunchtimeinrome.com/subscribe

    1h 5m

  5. JAN 22

    Judgy Judgerson | Episode 309

    Episode 309: Judgy Judgerson – Why Do We Judge? Pull up a seat at the table! In this episode of Lunchtime in Rome, the guys dive into the tricky, often hilarious, and sometimes convicting world of judgment. While Chris was away recovering from a “bacchiatomy,” Brian, Jay, and Eric held down the fort with a mix of travel stories, extreme temperature therapy, and some serious soul-searching about why we look down on others. Catching Up: Disc Golf, Cryo, and Hockey The episode kicks off with the guys sharing what they’ve been up to. Jay recently returned from a Disc Golf Ministry conference in Florida, where he reflected on the importance of one-on-one discipleship. He also shared some funny (and slightly judgmental) stories about sports fans and the biblical mandate to “rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn”—even when it involves a Broncos quarterback’s broken ankle. Meanwhile, Brian shared his experience of stepping into a cryo chamber at a bone-chilling -202 degrees, followed immediately by an infrared sauna. He describes the mental battle of staying in the cold and the “supercharged” feeling he had afterward. Eric rounded out the catch-up with a trip to a Penguins game, where he had to exercise some serious discernment to keep an annoying Flyers fan from ruining his daughter’s night. The Heart of the Matter: Judgy Judgerson The main course this week is a discussion on judgment. The guys get honest about the things that trigger their inner “Judgy Judgerson,” including: * Societal Norms: From littering and “main character syndrome” to people who park across three spots in a shopping center. * The “Know-It-All”: Jay admits he struggles with people who speak with absolute certainty on topics they haven’t fully explored. * Excuses vs. Reality: The guys talk about “quasi-righteous judgment”—like when we observe someone complaining about their health while drinking their third Coke of the morning. * Identity and Fundamentalism: Brian notes that intense judgment often comes from people who have wrapped their entire identity in a specific ideology or law, making them fragile and quick to defend it at all costs. Can We Judge Less? The guys wrap up the topic by discussing a noble goal: being less judgmental of judgmental people. They explore whether this grace comes with age or if it’s a byproduct of growing closer to the Lord and gaining a better perspective on our own shortcomings. The Great Breakfast Debate Before heading out, the guys tackle a vital question: What is the best national chain breakfast? While Brian and Eric are all-in on the “manufactured greasy spoon” glory of Waffle House, Jay makes a lone stand for IHOP and its gluten-free omelets. What about you? What’s the one “small” thing that turns you into a Judgy Judgerson? Whether it’s grocery cart etiquette or high-beam drivers, we’ve all been there. Join the conversation on our social media! Listen to the full episode on your favorite podcast app or watch the replay on YouTube at Lunchtime in Rome. Get full access to Lunchtime In Rome Podcast at www.lunchtimeinrome.com/subscribe

    1h 8m

  6. JAN 15

    The Quiet Place | Episode 308

    In this episode of Lunchtime in Rome, titled “The Quiet Place,” the guys pull up a seat at the table to discuss finding respite in an increasingly noisy world. From the science of silence to the “magical” clarity of a morning shower, the conversation explores how we can intentionally shut out distractions to simply “be”. The Noise vs. The Stillness The guys kick off the discussion by acknowledging the overwhelming amount of stimulus in modern life. With average daily screen time reaching nearly seven hours, the constant influx of information can lead to increased cortisol levels and anxiety. They reflect on the stark difference between today and the 1990s, when waiting for a ride meant simply looking at a rock or a tree rather than a smartphone. To counter this modern “noise,” they highlight the profound benefits of silence: * Brain Growth: Just two hours of silence can stimulate new cell growth in the hippocampus, which is tied to memory and learning. * Regulated Stress: Regular quiet time reduces mental clutter and lowers stress hormones like cortisol. * Mental Clarity: Silence allows for “deep brain work” that isn’t possible when bombarded by outside stimuli. Finding Your Personal Respite The guys share their own unique ways of finding quiet, emphasizing that a “quiet place” is different from a “happy place”: * The Morning Routine: One of the guys shares his practice of watching the sunrise and sitting in a cold tub to “reset” before the day begins. +1 * Intentional Devotionals: Another finds peace in the early morning after the family has left, using that time for a devotional before diving into work. * The “Magical” Shower: They discuss how the shower often serves as a finite, soundproof space where the brain finally “disconnects” and allows for creative schemes and clear thoughts. +2 * Quiet Commutes: They challenge the habit of always having talk radio or podcasts on in the car, suggesting that even five minutes of silence during a commute can be a healthy “on-ramp” to better mental health. Tips for Creating Your Own Quiet Place If you are looking to build your own discipline of stillness, the guys offer these practical tips: * Environment Matters: Dedicated spots, like a specific cozy chair, can signal to your brain that it is time to unwind. * Expect Resistance: The first few weeks of silence may feel awkward or restless as your brain “detoxes” from constant stimulation. * Start Small: If five minutes feels too difficult, start with just one minute of intentional stillness. * Use Breathing: Simple exercises, like breathing in for four seconds and out for eight, can help ground you in the moment. Nostalgia at the Table The episode wraps up with a trip down memory lane as the guys discuss childhood staple foods they no longer eat. From “glop” (a pasta and ground beef mixture) and “Shawnee Special” to chipped ham sandwiches and the simple joy of a giant bowl of Cocoa Pebbles at midnight, the conversation highlights how even food can be a form of comfort and connection. “Be still and know that I am God... When you have statements of fact, that’s God speaking to you. When you have questions, that’s your anxiety coming through.” Get full access to Lunchtime In Rome Podcast at www.lunchtimeinrome.com/subscribe

    1h 4m
  7. Emotional Maturity | Episode 307

    JAN 8

    Emotional Maturity | Episode 307

    In Episode 307 of Lunchtime in Rome, titled “Emotional Maturity,” the guys kick off the new year with their signature mix of personal stories, laughter, and thoughtful discussion on a topic that’s deeply relevant to relationships—and especially to living as a Christian. After catching up on holiday adventures, family moments, church meetings, house-hunting disappointments, and even a double-booked meeting mishap, the conversation turns to the heart of the episode: What does emotional maturity look like, and why does it matter for followers of Jesus? The guys explore seven key signs of emotional maturity drawn from biblical wisdom and practical insight: * You react less and reflect more – Creating space between feeling and response (Proverbs 16:32). * You’re less easily offended – Choosing not to hand over power to others’ words or actions (Psalm 119:165; 1 Corinthians 4:3). * You take responsibility instead of shifting blame – Owning your part, even when it’s uncomfortable, like David did when confronted. * You can sit with discomfort without needing immediate relief – Embracing perseverance that builds character (Romans 5:3-4). * You’re more honest about your inner life – Dropping pretense and valuing authenticity before God and others (Psalm 51:6). * You’re less driven by the need for approval – Finding security in God’s acceptance rather than constant affirmation (Proverbs 29:25). * You recover faster from emotional setbacks – Resilience that gets back up quickly instead of spiraling (Proverbs 24:16). The guys agree: these traits aren’t just helpful for healthier relationships—they’re essential for representing Christ well. Emotional immaturity can damage our witness, while maturity reflects trust in God’s sovereignty and grace. As always, the episode wraps with lighthearted fun, including a debate over top three cuisines (Mexican, Japanese, and Italian made strong appearances) and a proud shout-out to Joe starting his bartending journey. If you’re looking to grow in how you handle emotions, conflict, and setbacks—or just want to laugh along with some genuine friends at the table—this episode is well worth the listen. Catch Episode 307 now on your favorite podcast platform or watch the recording on YouTube at lunchtimeinrome.com. While you’re there, take the relational needs questionnaire and consider supporting the podcast to help keep the conversation going! Get full access to Lunchtime In Rome Podcast at www.lunchtimeinrome.com/subscribe

    1h 1m

  8. 12/11/2025

    Abby Herr Again! | Episode 306

    In episode 306, the guys welcome back Abby Herr – Brian’s daughter – who first joined the table a few years ago as a precocious 10-year-old and now returns as a thoughtful, self-aware 14-year-old eighth grader. The conversation is warm, funny, and surprisingly deep for a teenager sitting between three grown men who love to talk. The episode kicks off with the usual “how’s everybody doing?” chaos: Brian recounts an “acid-trip of a week” that included a canceled flight turned 6-hour drive to Long Island, an unforgettable lunch in a gold-and-marble basement with the mysterious “Chicken Man” and a room full of Middle Eastern businessmen, and the sudden, heartbreaking loss of Lex’s brother Jon. Jay shares about leading a police officer’s memorial service and the unexpected encouragement it brought to the officers in attendance. Eric just tries to keep up. Then the spotlight turns to Abby. The guys ask how she’s changed in the three-plus years since her first appearance. Her answer? Morally and in her core values she’s the same, but she’s grown kinder, more understanding, and noticeably more focused on her faith. She credits a mix of youth group, good friends, and (whether she admits it or not) the influence of her parents – Brian’s confidence and Lex’s sweetness. Highlights from the conversation with Abby: * She’s still very much herself – self-regulating, comfortable saying no, and unwilling to compromise who she is to fit in with a crowd. * Social life: marching band visual ensemble, the upcoming junior-high musical Matilda (she’s Amanda… who gets swung around by her pigtails), and a tight group of friends who make school bearable. * On Gen Alpha stereotypes: “People think because we’re the same age we all get along and like the same things – we don’t.” * Social media wisdom (at 14!): “My choices and emotions aren’t curated for other people.” * How she processes hurt and rejection: a flash of anger, a little guilt, then she moves on without bitterness. * Phone/social media stance: okay after elementary school, but heavily restricted until high school. * Favorite apps: TikTok #1, Snapchat #2. * Unlimited liquid from her fingers superpower: water, Dr Pepper, iced tea, gasoline (smart), and she’s still thinking about the fifth finger. The episode closes on a tender note discussing how Abby is navigating the sudden loss of her uncle Jon – going quiet at first, then the weight hitting later, and finding comfort at a worship night with her youth group. It’s a fun, heartfelt hour that reminds everyone at the table (and everyone listening) that even at 14, with the right foundation, you can be remarkably grounded, kind, and wise. Catch the full episode on your favorite podcast platform or watch the video at lunchtimeinrome.com. While you’re there, take the free relational needs questionnaire and consider becoming a paid subscriber – new content and perks are coming in 2025! See you next week for episode 307. Get full access to Lunchtime In Rome Podcast at www.lunchtimeinrome.com/subscribe

    1h 4m
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4.1
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About

Why do you feel alone? www.lunchtimeinrome.com

Information

  • Creator
    Lunchtime In Rome
  • Years Active
    2018 - 2026
  • Episodes
    315
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Lunchtime In Rome
  • Show Website
    Lunchtime in Rome