There is a subtle tension that lives beneath our desire to help. Most of us have felt it. Someone we care about is hurting, struggling, or overwhelmed, and something inside us immediately moves toward fixing, soothing, or carrying what they are experiencing. But what if that impulse is not always about compassion? What if, sometimes, it begins with our own discomfort? In this special Circles | Edges episode, Aaron shares a conversation from his appearance on the Create Magic At Work Podcast with Amy Lynn Durham, exploring empathic distress, leaky identity, and the hidden ways our sense of self can become intertwined with the suffering of others. Together, they examine the difference between empathy and compassion, the social conditioning that shapes caretaking behaviors, and why presence often asks more of us than intervention. This is a thoughtful exploration of emotional responsibility, identity, and the possibility of showing up for others without losing ourselves in the process. As the conversation unfolds, you are invited to notice where helping becomes fixing, where compassion becomes exhaustion, and where a deeper, more sustainable form of connection might be waiting. Invitations to Consider: Why the urge to help can sometimes be driven by our own need for relief rather than another person's needs.Aaron's concept of "leaky identity" and how identity can become dependent on helping others.The hidden ways empathic distress can create exhaustion, overwhelm, and unhealthy relationship patterns.The difference between empathy, empathic response, and compassionate action.How presence and witnessing may be more healing than fixing. About the Guest Host: Amy Lynn Durham, known by her clients as the Corporate Mystic, is the founder of the Executive Coaching Firm, Create Magic At Work®, where they help leaders build workplaces rooted in creativity, collaboration, and fulfillment. A former corporate executive turned Executive Coach, Amy blends practical leadership strategies with spiritual intelligence to unlock human potential at work. She’s a certified Executive Coach through UC Berkeley & the International Coaching Federation (ICF) In addition, Amy holds coaching certifications in Spiritual Intelligence (SQ21), the Edgewalker Profile, and the Archetypes of Change . In addition to being the host of the Create Magic At Work® podcast, Amy is the author of Create Magic At Work®, Creating Career Magic: A Daily Prompt Journal and the founder of Magic Thread Media™. Through her work, she inspires intentional leadership for thriving workplaces and lives where “magic” becomes reality. Connect with Amy: https://createmagicatwork.net/ https://www.linkedin.com/company/create-magic-at-work https://www.facebook.com/112951637095427 https://www.instagram.com/createmagicatwork https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnEm4h3fUgaq8qgvZpz6dGg About Aaron: Aaron Tabacco, PhD, has spent more than thirty years guiding people through growth and change, often in complex and high-stakes environments. He currently serves as the Director of Staff Experience at a major academic health sciences university. With a background spanning nursing, neuroscience, education, coaching, and mediation, his work centers on helping individuals and organizations navigate identity, connection, and transformation with greater clarity and care. Known for his grounded presence and compassionate communication, Aaron works with students, clinicians, faculty, executives, and senior leaders across healthcare and other industries. His approach integrates relational depth, reflective practice, and a commitment to creating more humane, integrated ways of working and living. He works in San Francisco, California, and lives in Vancouver, Washington, where he continues a lifelong engagement with writing, music, and the landscapes of the Pacific Northwest alongside his husband and three adult sons. https://www.linkedin.com/in/aaron-tabacco-phd-83359b9/ https://lucusgroup.com/home https://substack.com/@aarontabacco?r=b5ap9&utm_medium=ios https://www.youtube.com/@CirclesEdges Email: aaron@circlesedges.org Thanks for listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can follow the podcast on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast app. Leave us an Apple Podcasts review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you are enjoying the show, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. Mentioned in this episode: This show was brought to you in part by the Magic Thread Media Network. To learn more visit: https://magicthreadmedia.com/
