Welcome to Make the Shift, a podcast that teaches you how to stop settling, embrace your truth and create a life that you love.
You were created to live a life that feels true to you, but somewhere along the way, you got caught up in saying YES to everyone BUT you. You got caught up in playing by someone else's rules and dismissing your own desires and truth.
This show is a bold and unabashed guide to finding your voice, harnessing your true desires, and leading the life you really want. Together, let's make some shifts so you can lead in life, relationships and love.
135: Guilt Free Self Care with Alyssa Celotto
As humans, we simply cannot operate at full speed 24/7/....but how many of us try?
I know I'm guilty of pushing myself to the maximum capacity trying to do more, have more, be more and squeeze it all in. But somewhere along the way, we begin to shut down. We simply are not hardwired to push and prove all day everyday. Our health takes a toll, a relationship crashes and burns or we find ourselves continually missing things in our kids lives that we never would have dreamed we would miss when we first held them in our arms.
Today's guest Alyssa Celetto is the Founder of Fabulous Nutrition. Alyssa helps moms who want to take control of their health naturally, nourish their body and change the way they see food, relax into more restorative sleep and be free to enjoy life more -even with a long list of projects to accomplish.
She is a registered dietitian-nutritionist who loves all food and believes that it is unnecessary to sacrifice the foods we love to consider ourselves healthy. What I love about Alyssa is that she deeply appreciates the value of life, recognizing that we only get to go around this beautiful planet ONCE. She is committed to helping women sustain the energy and strength to pursue all the things they love with the people they love for as long as possible.
Alyssa and I have a great conversation about self care in general and how we can easily weave food into our daily life to nourish and sustain us in order to contribute to the world in the way that we were destined to do.
Listen to Discover:
How Alyssa defines self care
What gets in the way of self care
How to deal with guilt when it comes to self care
Why self care is vital
As adults we need to learn how to advocate for our own self care and not feel guilty about it. I hope this episode gives you permission to make the shift from not owning your needs and your own self care to taking your power back and putting self care on the front burner of your life.
"We are losing our sense of connection with self, we are losing our sense of self nourishment and self care." ~ Krista Resnick
"Our values and beliefs need to be considered when we're making a decision of how we want to eat and how we decide to carry out our daily life." ~Alyssa Celotto
"For much of my life. I didn't have space. It was stimulus, react, stimulus, reactive stimulus, react." ~Krista Resnick
"Part of my healing has been learning to create space. " ~Krista Resnick
"I lived for close to 40 years as though my life and everything in it was urgent." ~Krista Resnick
"We get used to living in this stressful state." ~Alyssa Celotto
"Self Care is the awareness of one's physical, mental and emotional needs at any given time, and consciously serving those needs." ~Alyssa Celotto
"We need rest, we need the time to be able to move our bodies. We need time to be able to care for ourselves, so that we can have the strength and energy to continue to support others." ~Alyssa Celotto
"If I notice that I'm feeling guilty, I can ask myself, Am I really doing something wrong?" ~Alyssa Celotto
"Preparing a meal has like meditative components to it." ~Alyssa Celotto
Krista Resnick | Instagram | Facebook
Alyssa Celetto | Alyssa's Self Care Planner | Instagram | Facebook
134: Using Anger & Shame to Set Boundaries with Karla McLaren
Anger and shame Two emotions that I don't know if any of us have been taught to like let alone embrace.
My friend and guest today, Karla McLaren loves both anger and shame because they are powerful messages that lead us to deeper healing and growth. We've been taught to stay away from these beautiful emotions for so many reasons, but they are truly here to give us feedback and help us grow.
Karla McLaren, M.Ed., is an award-winning author, researcher, workplace consultant, and empathy expert. Her grand unified theory of emotions revalues even the most “negative” emotions and opens new pathways to self-awareness, effective communication, and healthy empathy.
When it comes to setting boundaries, Karla teaches us that anger is essential because it points us to our values and the things that matter to us. As she shares with us, shame helps us to live up to the morals, codes and agreements that we've made. Unfortunately, many of us learned about shame by being shamed.
In this episode Karla shares with us some valuable ways to understand our anger and our shame so that we can use it to set healthy boundaries for ourselves and create healthier relationships and satisfying lives.
Karla will have you looking at both anger and shame in a whole new lens. And once we begin to see both of these emotions in a different light, they become less scary and have much less of a hold on us. In fact, we can start to use them as they were actually designed for.
Listen to Discover:
What anger is and why it is such a valuable emotion
Why we fear big emotions like anger and shame
Why we blame emotions for causing problems, when in fact, emotions arise to help us deal with problems.
Why anger and shame are essential emotions for setting healthy boundaries.
Why we blame these emotions (anger and shame) for people’s lack of emotional skills.
"Shame helps me live up to the morals, ethics and agreements that I've made. And if I start to step out of true with that, shame is going to say "Hey, what, hold on, there's some things going on here."-Karla McLaren
"When you are a friend, you are that trusted person that is you've been brought into my too deeply into my circle." -Krista Resnick
"I think a lot of times when people hear the word boundaries, they see a brick wall." -Karla McLaren
"Anger represents what we value, what we stand for. What matters to us." -Krista Resnick
"Anger, is a deeply loving emotion. You can't have a healthy relationship unless you have your anger working well." -Karla McLaren
" I define boundaries as who I am in this world, and what's important to me." -Karla McLaren
"When we can't access or have trouble accessing our anger, we will inevitably have trouble activating implementing our boundaries." -Krista Resnick
"Anger is the emotion that helps us set boundaries." -Karla McLaren
"We've been taught extensively not to pay attention to our emotions. We've been taught that there's such a thing as a negative emotion, which is nonsense." -Karla McLaren
"Anger doesn't have a violence component to it. But most of us have only seen anger as violence." -Karla McLaren
Krista Resnick | The BOLD Experience
Karla McLaren | Empathy Academy
133: Stop fixing people with Theresa
This episode is about overcoming people-pleasing patterns and getting into alignment with who you truly are. Today's caller, Theresa recognizes she has people pleasing patterns, but finds that when conflict arises-she immediately steps in to save the day. She is exhausted and disappointed by always doing what she thinks will make other people happy. If you are a people pleaser, this is an important call for you to listen to.
People-pleasing is a pattern that begins when we form a belief at a young age that we get more validation and love and avoid criticism or punishment if we are good and doing what others want us to do. It begins as a pattern at a very early age but it’s just a pattern. It is not who we are. It’s not an aspect of our personality or soul expression. People pleasing can show up many different ways-for some of us it's always wanting to be seen doing good, for others it's always wanting to be seen achieving and striving and for other's its doing whatever they can to avoid conflict. This was the case for my caller Theresa.
She wants to be in a loving two sided relationship, but she can't seem to advocate for herself and stop making it her job to manage others. Theresa did not grow up in a home that modeled conflict in a healthy manner-everything was shoved under the rug and never really 'dealt' with. Conflict does not have to equal violence. Conflict can be a beautiful way to share your feelings and your needs within relationships and work together to get those needs met. It's important to remember that just because conflict feels bad doesn't mean it is bad and it's not something we need to be afraid of or shy away from. Conflict actually helps us to pause and examine what is important to us, what are we 'fighting for?' However, when it's never been modeled for you, conflict can in fact feel terrifying. Learning how to move through conflict by speaking up for yourself is so vital for setting boundaries and breaking the people pleasing patterns.
Before listening to this episode, consider:
What was modeled in your household growing up in terms of conflict?
Do you spend more time fixing others than being on your own side of the street?
Does it make you uncomfortable when other people have big emotions?
Do you freeze or shutdown when you think someone is upset?
Live Coaching | Krista Resnick
132: How to be an EMPOWERED Woman with Marta Spirk
We talk a lot in today's world about being 'empowered' but what does that actually mean? Today's guest, Marta Spirk certainly knows a thing or two about what it takes to empower yourself and that's what today's show is all about.
After the surprise and blessing of triplets in 2016, she found a passion for encouraging and empowering women - as she learned to encourage and empower myself through the hardships of adult (and triplet) life.
Marta helps women to stop spinning their wheels trying random personal development resources, and finally learn to boost confidence and grow their business by looking at their most valuable resource - THEMSELVES!.
In this episode, empowerment coach Marta Spirk shares with us her 5 step framework of how to empower yourself.
Listen to Discover:
How Marta came up with her 5 step process
Why the power of forgiveness Is such an important part of feeling empowered
One of the #1 things that steals our power (and it's something we don't even realize)
Why you don't always need to have your steps planned out-sometimes your plan reveals itself to you as you MOVE
How Marta moved through the challenging circumstances when family disapproved of her choices to move forward with her career
"If you start changing your thoughts, your reality is going to change, because YOU create your reality." ~Marta Spirk
"If you want empowered kids, you need to empower yourself." ~Marta Spirk
"If you want empowered kids, empower yourself." ~Marta Spirk
"In order to take your power back, you need to realize what has taken your power from you. And often you are giving it away to patterns of resentment that you don't even know are there. " ~Marta Spirk
"Allow yourself to brag about things because if you don't, then who will?" ~Marta Spirk
Krista Resnick | Monthly Group Coaching | Ask for Anything Guide
Marta Spirk | The Empowered Woman Book | Instagram | Facebook
131: Make The Shift Trailer
Welcome to Make The Shift Podcast (formerly known as Becoming Boundaried).
This past year in particular I have grown so much personally. I've shed more beliefs, shifted more paradigms and cultivated more peace and freedom than ever before. While boundary work is still vital to my coaching practice and something I will always coach and teach....solely focusing on boundaries alone was starting to feel a bit stifling and out of alignment. And just like I coach my clients and tell you-let's makes some shifts to get back in alignment.
So as a seasoned coach, I know that many of the things we desire in life require 'making a shift'- a shift in our thinking, our beliefs, our behaviors, a shift in what we ask for, or the actions we take, a shift in what we think we deserve.
That’s what this podcast is all about. Each week I’ll be sharing live coaching sessions, personal tips, and expert interviews designed to empower you to become an incredible leader in your life, relationships and love.
So together-let’s get ready to make the shift.
Krista Resnick | Instagram | Facebook | Ask For Anything Guide
130: Live Coaching: Setting Healthy Boundaries in an Intense Situation with Blessing
Sometimes it can feel like there is so much at stake when we set healthy boundaries. Especially when there are outside influences that appear to have control over our situation.
Often family members can especially triggering. We have a lot of history with them and they know exactly what buttons to push (sometimes purposely but more often subconsciously). There are so many old patterns and programs we run with family members it can sometimes feel like we “regress” after just a few minutes or hours in their presence.
However, on some level- I believe we choose our family to help us evolve and grow in the ways we need. They are our teachers and often issues with family put us on our awakening path. Boundaries with family members are a great way to practice integrating all the tools you have learned on your personal development journey.
You are the one to stop not doing the martyr thing. You are the one to not be coerced by guilt or obligation disguised as “love.” You are the one to end the addiction cycle. You are the one to break free of limiting beliefs, and scarcity thinking. You are the one to end abuse. You are the one who is raising your children differently. You are the one to opt out of dysfunctional and toxic dynamics. You are the one who truly understands love.
And remember, love is unconditional but relationships have conditions. Just because someone is a relative or partner does not give them permission to treat you with disrespect or even be in your life. Consider what boundaries it may be time to set with certain people. Make this the year that you say “no more” to just tolerating crappy behavior and things being said to you.
This week on the podcast I spoke to Blessing who wants to know how to set healthy boundaries where there is coercive control that include campaigns of silence and stonewalling. We talked about all of the things Blessing is doing right already, and how she will need to start thinking and behaving if she wants to be the one to break the cycle with her family and move forward with her life.
Listen if you want to learn how to break old patterns and set healthy boundaries with challenging people in your life.
Before you listen consider:
Are you a rule follower because you experienced a chaotic childhood and now playing by the rules helps you to feel safe?
Do you struggle with guilt even around little things like making decisions that are necessary such as taking care of yourself?
Was there a lot of chaos in your childhood home with out the witnessing of repair work?
Do you consider yourself boundary-less? Someone who literally cannot set a boundary if their life depended on it?
Do you settle for any little breadcrumb of attention because you are so hungry for love and validation?
"There are times where we do need to be careful who we are being vulnerable and open with and giving our hearts to if we know that they have a pattern of not being able to hold us and meet us, in our in our most vulnerable places."~Krista Resnick
"All of us want to be seen, be heard, be loved. We want to belong." ~Krista Resnick
"As long as we're in relationship with other people, there's going to be disruption, there's always gonna be conflict. That's just how relationships works. This is why learning how to repair is vital." ~Krista Resnick
Krista Resnick | Instagram | Facebook
This podcast is a MUST for women, like me, who desperately needed help with boundaries. Krista is supportive, funny and real! She walks her talk! Her concepts allowed me to set boundaries out of love for myself, and it changed EVERY aspect of my life!
Krista’s authenticity and positive energy give life to her podcasts, it isn’t the boring monotone podcasts others may have experienced with other coaches. Krista loves what she does and it shows. Her breadth of knowledge and ability to think on her feet shine through and it is evidence she really is a master of her craft.
I love this show & the host! She is so much fun to listen to and provides such relatable content. I really resonate with her messages. You can tell that she puts so much energy, work, and passion into each new episode.