Making Biblical Family Life Practical Hal Young and Melanie Young

Rules are a good and necessary part of running a home and raising a family. Why do our best efforts sometimes breed resentment or even rebellion, when it's all so well-intentioned? This episode we're looking at the crucial balance between rules and relationship in our home!





Scriptures We Reference

The Ten Commandments - Exodus 20:1-17, Deuteronomy 5:1-21

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?”

     Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.  This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 22:36-40)

Let each be fully convinced in his own mind. (Romans 14:5)



Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. (Ephesians 6:1)



So then, my beloved, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.  (James 1:19-20)



The repentance of Ahab - 1 Kings 21:17-29



 

Like it or not, February 14 is just around the corner. Maybe you've got big plans, but maybe you don't have the funds for a romantic getaway. With eight kids and a limited budget, we've been there! This episode we're talking about ways to make the most of the holiday without spending a fortune!

Why Celebrate Anyway?

The Bible describes several holidays which were instituted by God for the people of Israel. When they gathered to celebrate Passover, the Feast of Weeks, or the Feast of Tabernacles, the Jews were to take the occasion to remember God's blessings in history and the present.



The holiday of Purim was created by the people themselves, to memorialize the nation's deliverance from genocide (as recorded in the book of Esther). Even though it's not a pilgrimage festival like the ones God commanded, the Bible does record the celebration of Purim in favorable terms. It's easy to draw parallels to our own holidays, like the Fourth of July to celebrate our nation's independence, or Thanksgiving to remember God's blessings. They're not mandated by Scripture but they are opportunities to talk about God's working and God's gifts.



Valentine's Day may be low on the priority list, as "holy days" go, but we think it's a good time to think about our relationship with our mate and to enjoy some time to focus on one another. It's like birthdays and anniversaries, but everyone celebrating the same day! We hope you have a good one -



(resources follow ... )





Some Resources You May Find Interesting

Valentine's resources including conversation starters (as mentioned in the program)



Our weekly email "LoveBirdSeeds"



Love poetry from the Bible

The holidays are upon us and we are looking forward to having our college students home again! But to be realistic, there's always a transition to bringing our young adults back into the household - and often both the student and the family ends up frustrated. This episode we're talking about things you can do - on both sides - to make the visit as smooth and pleasant as possible for everyone!



Parent Understanding



If you went to college, you remember the rush of exam week - and the mental and physical exhaustion at the end of it! Especially at Christmas and the end of the spring semester, your student will be arriving after a really tough week or two. We try to keep that in mind for their first several days home.



Expectations



Our unspoken hopes and preferences can set us up for disappointment and conflict. Maybe we parents look forward to seeing our young adult, but we're also looking forward having his help around the house again! For his side, maybe he's hoping for some relaxation from the stress of college -- or possibly, he has projects or homework to finish during his holiday. Maybe the younger siblings want a lot of attention from their big sister, when she really needs some peace and personal space - at least at first.



The best way to deal with these issues is to communicate ahead of time - gently, in love - and be willing to listen to one other and seek to accommodate everyone. All of those expectations are common and valid - the difficulty is how to address them all. If we cultivate patience and understanding together, we can probably find a mutually agreeable pathway.



Changing Channels



When Hal was working a corporate job, he had to remind himself on the commute home, "I have to leave the office door closed behind me and put on my family hat now." No matter what stress or disaster he'd left at work, when he came in the door, he knew the kids would be excited to see him, Melanie would be tired and need compassion, and he'd have to be ready to show love and concern to everyone at home.



Our college students need to think about that, too. While they're making the trip home, they need to consciously prepare themselves to be part of the family culture at the end of their trip. The way they live or even just survive on campus is a separate issue to what happens at home -- and they need to change gears before they get here.



In both cases there will be time and opportunity to share their struggles and disappointments, to seek advice and sympathy, but that will come after the initial rush of returning. Everyone will be happier at the end if the wanderer is ready to greet and be greeted first, and then seek the serious conversations after!



We dig deeper into the questions in our blog post here --



And a word from our sponsor, Affirm Films' 5000 Blankets - coming soon to select theaters, December 12 and 13



Tickets and showtimes here!

Part Three of our series on work - Your kids and their chores! We have eight kids and with some health challenges around, it was really necessary that everyone contribute to running the house. This episode we deal with some common questions: Should children be paid for chores? Are we making tasks too difficult for kids to handle? What's appropriate to teach and expect from different ages? How do you handle chores for children with developmental or health issues? And what do you do to keep everyone from getting overwhelmed?



 

Some Resources We Mentioned

Our book Raising Real Men: Surviving, Teaching, and Appreciating Boys talks about training your sons in diligence



Our book No Longer Little: Parenting Tweens with Grace and Hope talks about training your sons and daughters to be producers, not consumers, and stewards of the money and things which God gives them



Craftsman Crate is our subscription box that teaches adult-level skills that will challenge and entertain your teens (and adults too!)



 







 

Part 2 on getting our kids to work - What about school work? That's really the daily job for our children - whether it's homeschool or any other educational system. What can we do to overcome their natural resistance to school, and how can we encourage good habits in the pursuit of knowledge? We've homeschooled our eight children from the beginning and we have some practical ideas that have really helped us along the way!



0:55 - How our motivation affects the kids'



2:29 - The risk and cost of missing the actual point of education



4:54 - Protecting the love of learning



6:19 - Distinguishing a struggling learner from a lazy learner



8:36 - Temporary learning struggles happen, too



10:29 - a word from our sponsor CTC Math



11:44 - The trap of mis-placed goals



13:20 - Practical ideas to get the work done





Helpful Resources

Materials to help struggling learners available on our website



Our book No Longer Little talks about the common learning struggles of pre-teens in early adolescence - and how to work through them



 

It's one of the most common questions we get - "How can I get my kids to work?" Surveys find that a large number of families don't expect their kids to do chores - and many that do, have a running battle over getting them done cheerfully. This episode, we're talking about a balanced, Biblical attitude toward our children's work (as well as our own), and what we can do to encourage them in it!

References

"Sparing chores spoils children and their future selves, study says" - Ami Albernaz, Boston Globe (12/8/15)



"Is Quiet Quitting Real?" - Jim Harter, Gallup (9/6/22)



Thomas Edison: "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."



Laura Ingalls Wilder, Farmer Boy

Scripture Referenced



Children playing in God's peaceable kingdom - Isaiah 11:8-9





Children playing in the New Jerusalem - Zechariah 8:5





Jesus speaking of the games of children in the marketplace - Matthew 11:16-17, Luke 7:31-32





It is good for a man to bear the yoke in his youth - Lamentations 3:27



Bondservants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh, not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but in sincerity of heart, fearing God. And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord ... - Colossians 3:22-23







In all labor there is profit ... - Proverbs 14:23







Do all things without complaining and disputing - Philippians 2:14