Click to expand transcript Making Changes: Growing Up CODA (Child of Deaf Adults) Part 1 Brother Ronnie: And you know what, there is even one specific moment that I remember which is, the minister is giving—he’s wrapping up the lesson, he’s getting very spiritual; he’s giving the bayubay (advice). Brethren are feeling it. And I look over at my mother, and I kid you not, she’s crying. And I don’t know why. I’m thinking, what are you hearing? What are you listening to? What were you getting from this? Brother Rowel: You know, again as a child…what would go through my mind is, you can’t even hear, you know. Why is this important to you? Why does it matter? You can’t even hear. But as a child seeing that, and then finally being able to understand—it’s like, ok, let me stay awake maybe there’s a reason why. Aliw: When I first learned about Brother Ronnie and Rowel David’s story, right away, I had so many questions. I was just so curious about how they grew up and became the people that they are now. You see, they’re brothers who are both CODA, an acronym for Child of Deaf Adults. They grew up in Georgia and are now both ministers of the gospel in the Iglesia Ni Cristo or Church Of Christ. Brother Ronnie: I remember asking her afterwards, like, Oh, why are you crying? What did the minister say? And she said, “I don’t know, but I felt something. I was feeling something. And it made me feel like crying.” Brother Rowel: When me and my brother would talk about it, we would always say they really did worship, depending on the Holy Spirit, you know. Brother Ronnie: It’s one of the biggest lessons we ever got from them. And again, they never explained that to us. They never said anything about the Holy Spirit. They never put that into words but it’s based on the way they live, that’s how we learned it. Aliw: From INC Media Audio, you’re listening to Making Changes, I’m Aliw Garcia Pablo. Today’s episode format is a bit different. This is a 2-part series where we’ll sit down with Brother Ronnie and Brother Rowel to see what it was like to grow up CODA and how that shaped their faith. This 2 part episode is so layered as you will see and feel. It’s about the struggle of growing up CODA, love for their parents but also the frustrations from the perspective of two young boys whose lives were filled with setbacks and struggle. Let’s listen in… Aliw: Hi, Brother Ronnie, Brother Rowel, thank you so much for taking the time to talk with us. Brother Rowel: Thank you, Sister Aliw. Brother Ronnie: Thank you so much. Aliw: We’ll start off by asking, what would you say? At what age, would you say that you realized that your home life was a little bit different from the rest of your friends in school or wherever? Brother Ronnie: It didn’t really hit me all at one time. It just kind of, eventually, I understood that our situation growing up is very different from other people. Like, for example, when we would go to the grocery store, and we’d help our mom pay. You know, we’d give the cashier the money, or if we have questions, we would talk for our mother. Same thing with going to the doctor’s office—my mother would want to tell the doctor something and the doctor tells us to tell our mom and we’d tell our mom. And then even when he came to school. The teachers are telling us okay, I need to talk to your parents, which have home phone numbers, I can call them. They call us later on, and I’m the one answering the phone. So, it was a gradual thing, I don’t think it was a specific age, but, the longer or the more we grew up with our parents the more I realized it really is different from other people. Bro. Rowel: For me growing up, I thought that everyone did sign language to their parents. I mean, yes, we had aunts and we had uncles, we had grandma and grandpa that we would speak to but for some reason, you know, of course, the mind of a child growing up, you just think, yeah, but when it comes to your parent, you do sign language. And so, you know, finding that out, noticing that about the other children, how they would speak to their parents, you know, it obviously showed me that it was different. But you know, the crazy thing is that, yeah, I noticed it. But then right after it was like, okay, we’re just different, you know? My situation isn’t like their situation. Bro. Ronnie: It’s funny because you kind of forget you’re doing sign language. You don’t even know you’re doing sign language anymore. We could literally just be talking to our parents and switch over to just talking or voicing out our opinions or whatever. It’s all one language at one point so… Aliw: So, let’s back up a bit and give you a bit of their background. Their parents, Raquel and Ramon, were both born deaf, they met in the Philippines, got married in the Church and their mother migrated to Georgia first where the rest of her family were. We all know how hard it is to start a new life in a new country but how much more not being able to hear. Their parents both understood and signed Filipino Sign Language, but not ASL or American Sign Language. The brothers have some memory of what it was like for their mom. Brother Ronnie: And back then, you know, websites, chat rooms, or Skype, all that didn’t exist. So, she really just kind of stayed at home. Her life was more like just observing things. It wasn’t really a community, (or) communicating with people, socializing, or talking to people, she would meet deaf people along the way, here and there. But there was still that lack of communication because they could never keep up with each other. They didn’t have phones or whatever, she didn’t have her own cell phone at the time. So, it was more on her just watching and looking, just waiting. My father…he came along a couple of years later on… Brother Rowel: My parents, when it comes to them, they’re—a very good trait they have is that they’re able to adapt to a lot of people, a lot of situations, and be able to find their way through. For example, our mother, she may be speaking with someone, and they don’t know sign language, but she’ll find a way to get her point across. It wasn’t until, of course, me and my brother, (when) we came along, that’s when she started using us just to make it easier. But even before then, yes, she had our aunt, our uncles and our grandparents, but if they have to do something, they would find a way to be able to (get) by. Aliw: So, would your mom write what she needed to say? And then just show it to people? Brother Ronnie: Exactly. She always had a paper and pen on her. Here’s a crazy experience she had. I actually remember her telling me about this. So, I’m the firstborn. And my mother—she wanted to go visit my father back in the Philippines again. She traveled to the Philippines by herself. You know, going into an airport with me, talking to the stewardess, trying to find out what her gate is. And you know how hectic an airport can be… Aliw: Right! Brother Ronnie:… And going transferring from this flight to this flight. And still, until now, it gets me, how was she able to do that? I mean, she didn’t have a cell phone. She didn’t have a—she didn’t text anybody. Because she was able to get to the airport there in the Philippines and still from there, find my family without a phone or anything. Aliw: Yes, that—just finding those that will pick you up is so hard with the crowds of people. Aliw: So growing up, you saw that your parents, your mom, specifically, never used her disability as an excuse. Brother Rowel: Even though after, you know, that process of finally understanding that they’re different. Even after that, she would always tell us, “No, I’m normal. I’m normal, I just can’t hear.” That’s what she would always tell us. Brother Ronnie: It’s funny even until now, I don’t think she would consider that as a disability. Brother Ronnie: So, she would teach us the normal things like drink water, or go clean, you know, clean the dishes, or go home apples, stuff like that. My brother’s favorite: food, you know, stuff like that. But it’s funny because my aunt’s, my uncle’s, I want to say, they don’t really know sign language like that. I want to say they don’t really know that well, but they can all talk, they can all fight, they can all laugh, they can do everything like regular siblings. Aliw: Their parents were simple people with humble but demanding jobs in the small town of Milledgeville, Georgia. Their dad worked as a furniture mover; their mom, she worked at the local hospital cleaning clothes. But both parents, despite being deaf and couldn’t speak, made sure their two boys were raised well. Aliw: Okay, so when you are in , as little boys, you know, how were you disciplined as little kids with you know, most parents would yell, they’d get mad? What was that for you? Bro. Rowel: I’d say it’s very, you know, it’s one thing to get loud. Especially as a kid, it’s one thing to hear your parents get loud, but to see it, like to actually see it because they’re all, it’s all visual with them. It’s all facial expressions. And so when they’re mad, like you could you could put a wall in front of us. And you could tell by our voice, you’re mad, but then seeing it face to face? Oh, it’s scary. It is. But you know, I will say this, you know, not trying, you know—of course, we weren’t angels growing up, we were boys growing up playing around here and there. But I’d like to say that she didn’t—both my mother and our father—they didn’t really have to discipline us too much. But I feel like that’s because our mother really put the fear of God in us. My mom would always tell us, I may not be with you, but God sees you. You know, she would always say that. Brother Ronnie: I ha
