MASKulinity Podcast

Supported by Next Gen Men
  • 5.0 (30)
  • SOCIETY & CULTURE
  • UPDATED BIWEEKLY

Brooklyn- and Oakland-based duo Samantha Nzessi and Remoy Philip invite you into their sometimes loud but necessary banter on masculinity. Hear Samantha and Remoy discuss topics like what masculinity means to our society, whether masculinity has actually been good to men, or even how the latest movie, TV and sports trends are helping or hurting the gender, and everyone else by extension. Also listen as a variety of guests—experts in the fields of gender studies, activists, or even everyday guys—stop by the pod to chat about subjects like ‘woke feminism’ or the men's rights movement. Listen week to week as Samantha, Remoy, et. al., invite (cis/trans/hetero/gay) men to take off the MASK that is masculinity, and do so from distinct yet connected perspectives. Let’s get into it.

  1. HOME ALONE for the Holidays (ENCORE)

    12/25/2025

    HOME ALONE for the Holidays (ENCORE)

    We're running back this friendly reminder for the holidays! Wishing you and yours a great holiday season and see you in the new year for original MASKulinity episodes! ************************ Episode Notes The holiday season is upon us shortly in the US. Some men will be surrounded by close ones, and some will finally get the R&R they’ve been craving, but many may feel alone. Americans have less and less friends. On this episode, Samantha and Remoy talk through some Survey Center on America Life findings on the state of American friendships. There are many men who have absolutely no friends, and that number is steadily increasing. The hosts get some help to understand how this impacts them during the holiday season.Our resident counselor for men, Justin Lioi, is back to talk about having mental ease during the holidays. He stresses that being alone at this time can be a fulfilling choice but it’s OK to reach out for attention and support if it’s loneliness rather than intentional alone time.Justin helps the hosts understand why reaching out can be difficult for men, how slipping back into old relationship dynamics can make it worse, and how to detect mental distress in the body.COMPANION PIECES: Ignoring it won’t make it go away! How doing the work leads to men’s freedom Special Episode! Getting Free, with Darnell MooreYa can’t pour from an empty cup! How Men Can Take Better Care of ThemselvesReferenced in this episode Terrence Real, therapist author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male DepressionPia Mellody, author of Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our LivesBowling Alone by Robert D. Putnam shows how we people in modern societies have become more and more disconnected from each otherReferenced on the socials STATE OF AMERICAN MEN 2023 FROM CRISIS AND CONFUSION TO HOPE  OUR GUEST THIS WEEK: Justin Lioi Justin Lioi lives in Brooklyn, NY where he has a private practice that specializes in men's counseling. He has worked with families since 2008 and after several years of listening to fathers speak mostly about their children decided to put their needs front and center. He is a former New York actor and Music Together teacher and is an elected member of the National Association of Social Workers. He blogs regularly on men's issues as well as relationships and parenting at  www.ParkSlopeTherapist.com .

    26 min
  2. The Remoy Wears a Dress Episode

    12/18/2025

    The Remoy Wears a Dress Episode

    Boys can’t wear dresses, they say….but was that always true? This week, Professor Jo Paoletti stops by the pod to let us know why boys stopped wearing dresses. Remoy starts us off with a visual…of none other than himself swagged out in a dress as a baby.You may be thinking to yourself, is that a Texan thing? Is it his worldly background? Nope! Boys used to wear dresses…He taps in Professor Jo Paoletti who gives us the scoop.So all babies used to wear dresses, but what does that mean? Was it always the skirts and lace we see on babies these days? Not exactly….Clothing used to be purely practical and not necessarily a way to announce a kid’s gender through their fashion…In fact, using clothing to distinguish kids’ gender was against the grain for a while…We recently talked about the 1800s as a pivotal era in men’s clothing, but for baby boys and girls, the move was to keep things as gender neutral as possible.There were concerns about boys’ behavior that made dresses the better choice. Listen to find out what behavior society was told to suppress…The clothing choice was not just about suppressing certain behaviors; it was about function. In what sense? Professor Paoletti breaks it down.Color came up in our Fashion Is Resistance episode, but about the babies? Did it start off as blue and pink? Great question - listen to find out….Then the ‘80s happened and a new concern emerged (surprise it’s the ‘80s again)…This time, it’s not Reagan… But what was it that made it suddenly so important to distinguish male and female babies from each other at a glance? Take a guess… It’s not so different from the conundrum we’re facing today…Jo Paoletti charts the evolution from functional to purposely gendered clothing.There was a shift in the family structure that caused a butterfly effect for boys and they were failing to meet expectations… It sounds familiar, doesn’t it?Boys could have been the ones to keep the dresses, but they didn’t; why? Jo paints the picture for us.It wasn’t just young boys’ behavior that was a concern, but young men’s in general.Psychologists got involved in this clothing shift at the turn of the century.The Industrial Revolution strikes again and shifts the currents of fashion for all ages…The distinction between boys and girls in fashion would supposedly help curb “deviant” behavior in men.A familiar refrain starts taking over the conversation on men’s behavior - spending too much time with their mothers… Enter the Boy Scouts, enter sports, anything to keep the MASKulinity in boys.Industries follow the conversation and new choices pop up in stores. Consumerism helps ensure the shift.But when we say boys, it wasn’t all boys… There was a particular ideal that boys and eventually men, would be expected to model.It’s what all roads lead to so far this season…Perhaps the most important point Jo makes in this episode is that we all perform gender in some way… Drag of a sort, if you will.Might come as a surprise, but let us humor you!Was this episode shocking, surprising, old news? Let us know in the comments! Referenced on this episode: Huffpost featured our guest talking about exactly thisGender and Sex Roles in the 1970s Our recent episode, Fashion Is ResistanceCOMPANION PIECES: Our illustrious guest, Jo Paoletti write extensively about this; read more:On SubstackGender MystiqueWhen we talked about Black dandyism and suits with stylist and writer Joe WilkesLong time ago, we talked about the Boy Scouts…We also talked about drag and masculinity…Pinky and the Blue Boy - get a history of how and why color became gendered in this Modern Manhood episode

    38 min
  3. The Christian MASKulinity Episode

    12/04/2025

    The Christian MASKulinity Episode

    Headship? Wives submitting to husbands? Yep, we're talking about Christian MASKulinity this week with the help of theologian and author Dr. James Spencer. The hosts start out by reflecting on how much Christianity has impacted not only their own lives but American life as a whole. What has our society retained as a nation founded by Chiristian men? So much of American culture is based on Christianity, and even folks who aren’t Christian in practice deem themselves culturally Christian. The hosts start by setting the stage for the wide-reaching impact of this conversation.In fairness, it’s not just American life. Samantha and Remoy have a moment about who the oldest Christians are, and they remember one of the first ways Christianity was leveraged to perpetuate a distinct group’s interest…They start dissecting their own Christian experiences… What exactly did these two former Christians learn about gender and masculinity in church? Samantha and Remoy share the views their respective churches had and how it shaped their idea of gender in that context.Remoy puts on his preacher boy hat to recall some of the key principles he remembers about Christianity. And more importantly, what did he teach about manhood and masculinity when he was behind the pulpit?Samantha shares why this episode is important to her as a former Christian and the suspicions her upbringing brought up for her. James addresses her concerns about some biblical intentions.It turns out there are a lot of key differences between Samantha and Remoy’s past Christian learnings and experiences and James’s biblical conclusion of what it means to be a Christian man…Men are expected to be the final decision maker on everything, and people will often turn to the Bible to prove that point. But what if that’s not what God intended? James gives us a theologian’s perspective on what God likely intended.Where exactly in the Bible does it say that men should be in charge? When it comes to marital relationships, a very specific verse tends to come up to justify male leadership, but there seems to be some context missing. Samantha gives us the verse, and James fills in the blanks.The idea of headship comes up consistently when folks cite the Bible as the basis for men’s blanket leadership.It’s not just the biological essentialist claim that men are better leaders in the home because they’re men; it’s supposedly also because God said so. But does the Bible actually back that up? James lets us know.James breaks down how men’s leadership should mirror that of Jesus Christ over the church.And what does that look like in relationships? It’s vastly different from the “do as I say” leadership that some men feel they are owed and entitled to, including Christian ones.James helps us understand what that means for husbands and we hear echoes of shedding the mask that is MASKulinity for the sake of a deeper faith.Like in our Anti-Anti-Porn Episode, we’re seeing how Christianity gets co-opted to further a human-made patriarchal agenda rather than the spiritual life Christians are called on to develop according to James.Christian men don’t have to be married to have integrity with their faith.James gives us insight into what different Christian masculinities can look like, through the story of one of Jesus’s most prolific and significant apostles. We discover that how it looks is far less important that where it comes from…Remoy gives some seldom-talked-about background on how Christianity emerged back in the day like only a former preacher boy would…Samantha ends by bringing up a topic that’s been in the news so much, it’s taken over the image of mainstream Christianity…perhaps (actually definitely) for the worse: Christian nationalism.James provides some important, should-not-be-forgotten-lest-we-want-to-repeat-history context about the merger between church and state and the implications on society…He cites the Barmen Declaration as an example of Christians fighting extremism during Nazi times.There are parallels between nazism and Christian nationalism in the US which James does not equate, but we kinda do!Samantha examines a few tenets from a popular Christian nationalist group.How close do these tenets mirror God’s biblical message? The hosts discuss…Referenced on this episode: Inclusivity & Gender in Christianity - Two religious leaders lend their thoughts to the  gender debate in Christianity todayMyths of Male HeadshipDr. James Spencer’s podcast, Thinking Christian (Samantha mistakenly mentioned Christian First, which is the name of the framework he teaches courses in)The Proud Boys’ 12 tenetsCOMPANION PIECES: What Does Christian Masculinity Really Look Like?, by our guest Dr. James SpencerDiscipled Men: Rethinking Masculinity Through the Lens of Christ from Thinking Christian, our guest’s podcastNotes on Christian MASKulinity - our new Substack pieceThe Anti-Anti-Porn Episode about Christian men and pornRe-Thinking Masculinity: A Blog nn Christian Nationalism

    29 min
  4. The Anti-Anti-Porn Episode

    11/20/2025

    The Anti-Anti-Porn Episode

    How have we gone this long without talking about it? That’s right… We’re talking about porn this week, but it may not be what you think. Remoy enlists the help of Dr. Kelsy Burke to understand how the term “porn addiction” came to be, and exactly what the folks who came up with this term had in store. It’s hard to believe that Remoy starts this conversation at Christianity, but he does. He sets the tone for the conversation by getting the tea on the hosts’ humble Christian beginnings.Remoy shares how porn and Christianity intersect and the warnings men receive in church.Dr. Kelsy Burke explains how the notion of “porn addiction” and men’s Christianity intersect…and somehow work well together.Why would using the term “porn addiction” be co-opted by Christian men? Kelsy lets us know about that too…Lots of things popped off in the 80s! That includes Christian sex scandals. Listen to Kelsy break down how conservatives of that era bring MASKulinity and the “porn addiction” rhetoric together to control the narrative.What about women? Can they be “addicted” to porn?Soooo, is porn bad or naw??Samantha shares the oxymoron that pops up between cishet men and women.Kelsy goes on to describe how conservatism and conversations around sex in Christian circles lead to upholding the system we all know and (don’t) love.We know at least some of you have heard of No Fap November. Christian men are using this strategy as a show of masculine strength. Guess where this theory/strategy came from…This anti-porn rhetoric and scapegoating is everywhere, including government…  Referenced on this episode: Interested in learning more about all that Dr. Burke’s uncovered? Read more in their book: The Pornography Wars: The Past, Present, and Future of America’s Obscene ObsessionYou can also catch some of the highlights from Dr. Burke’s book over in their 2020 article over at Slate: Sinning Like a ManCOMPANION PIECES: We talked about substance use disorders (addiction at the time) and MASKulinity a long time ago: Figure It Out: The Connection between Masculinity and AddictionAddiction: Men Are Twice as Likely, with Justin Lioi and other New YorkersExploring Commonalities in Addiction, a Mini Field Study

    42 min
  5. Fashion Is Resistance

    11/06/2025

    Fashion Is Resistance

    We’re back with our first original episode of the season! Our guest, Joe Wilkes, culture and policy writer and editor and fashion stylist, takes the mic with us to talk Black Dandyism. Many of us didn’t know this term prior to this year’s MET exhibition and gala theme, Superfine: Tailoring Black Style Our guest gave us some important notes on the role fashion can play for men in resisting the expectations of MASKulinity.. What is Black dandyism? Joe Wilkes gives us a definition and takes us through its origins.You may be surprised to find out where it started… But eventually people made it their own.Having a sense of style for Black men in the 19th and early 20th century was new and hard for some to accept.Extravagance or lack thereof causes people to classify men’s masculinity, especially, BIPOC men’s masculinity—why is that…? Joe’s answer evokes the racial hierarchy of masculinity.The universal suit men wear today wasn’t always the masculine standard... Samantha takes Remoy through where the “dandy” term comes from and the impact it had on menswear.In Europe, aristocratic styles thrived on excess and extravagance, but something we take for granted today was previously reserved for the aristocratic and royal classes.A middle-class man who had an in with the who’s who of Regency London altered the course of menswear for centuries to come. Dandyism becomes a dress code that equalizes classes.Men’s style evolved with the advent of a new age.Understated and tailored styles became the standard for fashion, at least for quite some time. Men of different races embraced dandyism differently. Why is that?How is fashion resistance exactly? Joe helps us understand why fashion was so important to Black men’s identity and dignity.At a certain point, the desire for authenticity and liberation starts to trump survival, a reflection of the times in the ‘60s and ‘70s.But then, to avoid being deemed feminine or being subject to homophobia, men toned their look down. Joe explains how a specific event brought that on.Joe shares a little of his own history, having to alter his look based on the community he was around.But perhaps there is a group of men who are allowed to wear whatever they want with way less criticism…Take a guess which group that is…If cishet men have unspoken requirements to meet what masculinity is supposed to look and dress like, does that mean queer men get more leeway? Joe shares some insights…Fashion is resistance but it’s not just that. Joe ends on a positive note we all need to keep in mind..Some questions we’re still wondering about:How has your own fashion sense evolved? Do you dress to be authentic or to blend in as best as possible? Can the way men dress dictate how masculine they are? Does the way certain men present themselves put manhood and/or masculinity at risk for some people?What do we say to the Brummel-thinking folks who think masculinity requires men to dress with “understated elegance”?Let us know in the comments below!Referenced on this episode: Exploring Dandyism and Black Expression: A Roundtable Discussion; led by our guest Joe WilkesMET’s exhibition Superfine: Tailoring Black StyleMonica L. Miller’s book Slave to Fashion, the inspiration for the MET themeBeau Brummell's Revolution: The Rise of the Modern Men's Suit in the 19th CenturyThe Zoot Suit Riots and Wartime Los AngelesCOMPANION PIECES: History of the Black dandy; more history of Black DandyismDandyism around the worldThe Evolution of Black Masculinity Through Fashion  (TW, expletive used)

    31 min
  6. FEED DROP: Performing the Revolution in India ✊🏾

    10/30/2025

    FEED DROP: Performing the Revolution in India ✊🏾

    This season of MASKulinity is all about Relationships and Resistance, and we're starting with resistance. What does resistance look like as performance art—more specifically, theater? Your favorite literati doy, Remoy George Philip thee First's, latest production, Performing the Revolution, explores this question in a four-part series.We're dropping the first episode in our feed to set the tone for the season. This series is a powerful reminder that community and perseverance are requirements for social change, and that joy and play can be part of resistance. Samantha first interviews journalist and documentarian Ida Hardin, coproducer on the podcast, to get some between-the-lines questions answered. Themes of resilience, grief, and liberation echo through this first episode set in New Delhi. ***** Performing the Revolution, "in India" Meet Jana Natya Manch, a.k.a. JANAM, one of India's storied street theatre companies. We follow their journey from one of their most crucial, catalyzing and tragic moments in the 1980's, all the way through to the work they make today.  Then where can you listen to Performing the Revolution:Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4klSwQSuzly63HdKfGt1ce Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/performing-the-revolution/id1765455380 Everywhere: https://pod.link/1765455380 Referenced on this episode: Some background on Jana Natya Manch (JANAM Theatre)Safdar Hashmi’s leadership at JANAM Performing the Revolution in ConversationCOMPANION PIECES: Performing the Revolution team member Beto O’Byrne stopped by to talk wrestling as escapist for men in The Wrestling Episode Robert and Mabel Williams understood that sometimes resistance is violent. Kellie Carter Jackson told us their story in The Resistance EpisodeOrganizations resisting MASKulinityA short message from Moloyashree Hashmi

    52 min
  7. When The Bear 🐻 Succeeds MASKulinity

    02/20/2025

    When The Bear 🐻 Succeeds MASKulinity

    Just to clarify, we’re not talking about a bear succeeding at being chosen over a man in the woods. We mean the show! The Bear continues to be a favorite at TV award shows, and this year is no different. Naturally, your hosts talked about it. But first, they took a look at the show that rivalled it last year with just as many Enny wins. Succession. Your favorite hosts are joined by Professor of Race, Gender and Sexuality at Simmons University, Suzanne Leonard. The crew takes a moment to acknowledge the SAG nominees. We love when deserving people get their flowers.With The Bear being nominated, the crew decides to talk MASKulinity in the show, but first, they talk about a previous winner that reminds us all a bit too much of real life: Succession.Samantha takes us through some interesting facts about the family that Succession is based on.Suzanne lets us know what attracts her about the show. Are you a bit voyeuristic like her and Samantha are when it comes to this show? What is it about miserable rich people that draws our attention?With a quick synopsis of Succession, Samantha breaks down the similarities between the Fox News Murdochs and their fictional counterparts..A power struggle between a father and his children for the head seat of the company, something that provides a particular comment on fatherhood, power, and MASKulinity in our current social and political moment.Why are we talking about this show? Suzanne and Samantha apprise Remoy of why it’s helpful for us to dissect this type of patriarchal leadership.Suzanne makes an important note on mourning traditional media, which feels like it might be dying out, but is it?So much political, economic, and social power is concentrated in families with Murdochs, Trumps, and Maxwells, it’s worth examining the BTS of these powerful families through this show.Exactly how powerful are these nepotistic families? The crew runs down the list of the Murdochs’ empire and their impactful media (and legal) history and MASKulinity.SPOILER ALERT: Samantha presents some scenes from Succession for Remoy to react to. Suzanne weighs in.The fatherhood that Logan Roy displays can be mapped onto Trump’s leadership of both his family and the US as a country: we sustain his legacy.Wielding real power and setting the tone for men’s MASKulinity both in their families and in our larger society are staples of the all-powerful patriarchs.Suzanne highlights the ruthlessness of the powerful masculinity in the fatherhood displayed and how damaging it is to people around the folks who perform that masculinity. It is reflected in all these clips.Remoy makes a poignant point about America’s need for a father figure running the country.The crew continues on to discuss crowd favorite, The Bear. Remoy points out that if Shrinking is the best way to deal with MASKulinity’s woes, and Succession is the most toxic, The Bear falls somewhere in the middle.Remoy provides a great synopsis of the show, highlighting how differently it deals with masculinity compared to Succession.We examine the relationships stemming from Carmy’s newfound leadership.Carmy and Syd’s relationship represents a great mixed-gender leadership collaboration for this show.Richie’s evolution as a person as well as the rest of the cast’s reflected the power of a connected leadership.The Bear deals with mental health in an immensely different way from Succession. Carmy relies on those around him to get better while Kendall schemes while wielding power as his father does.The Bear chronicles changing dynamics in a workplace as does Succession. The three draw out the differences and few similarities between masculinities in the two shows.Suzanne highlights how class creates a different landscape than the opulent SuccessionIn our deep dive, Suzanne shares some great nuggets in her research on gender in powerful structures.We dive into questions about how family structures impacted our recent election of an all-powerful patriarch.We get into how women hold up these power structures. Suzanne’s research has looked at how women’s own power is garnered through all-powerful couples.Suzanne makes points on whiteness and how racial hierarchies impact this all-powerful dynamic.OK, now we’re really outta here! See you soonish! 👋🏾👋🏿 Referenced on this episode: The Murdochs’ own family power struggleHBO’s Succession and our reckoning with male monsters - referenced article by BBC’s Hugh MontgomeryWhen we talked about Shrinking, the nominated show that got mental health rightWhen we talked about some very different TV DadsHow American Politics REALLY Sees Men & MASKulinity - our episode dissecting the PEW reportHow Americans See Men and Masculinity - Pew Research Center report that continues to be relevantPerhaps it’d be helpful to see how men maintain social connections; we talked about it COMPANION PIECES: On The Bear and MASKulinity

    1h 38m
  8. But Really… Are Men Lonely? 🤔🧐🚨

    01/23/2025

    But Really… Are Men Lonely? 🤔🧐🚨

    In this final episode of the season, Samantha and Remoy tackle a question that’s been at the heart of so many conversations lately: Are men truly lonely? It’s a topic that hits home for so many of us, especially as we think about how gender norms shape not just our actions but our deepest connections. Luckily, The Pew Research Center has been hard at work exploring these very questions. Their latest report, Men, Women, and Social Connections, sheds light on the gendered trends shaping relationships in America today. Samantha had the chance to sit down with Kim Parker, one of the report's lead researchers, to dig into the findings. And in this episode, she brings all those insights back to Remoy.  Samantha starts by asking Remoy a big question: How optimistic is he about life these days? Turns out, his answer puts him in the minority. Pew found that 58% of Americans lean optimistic, while 42% do not.Kim Parker shares the backstory behind this paper and how it fits into Pew’s larger research initiative on gender and masculinity. It’s all part of a broader effort to understand how Americans are thinking and feeling about these issues in real time.The big question: Are men lonelier than women? Samantha reveals the surprising (albeit nuanced) findings to Remoy, and the two dive into why this narrative about men and loneliness has taken hold.Pew’s research uncovered fascinating details about men’s and women’s social networks. On the surface, they don’t look that different. But dig deeper, and you find differences in how men and women use and interact with the people around them.Remoy gets candid about his own experiences, admitting that even with a great support system, reaching out for help as a man still feels like a major challenge.Samantha asks Kim about the connection between this report and Pew’s earlier findings in How Americans See Men and Masculinity. Why do Americans say they want men to be more caring and vulnerable, yet men still struggle to seek support?The loneliness conversation takes an unexpected turn when Samantha reveals which group of people Pew identified as being lonelier than most. Spoiler: It involves the internet—and the way technology has become an inseparable part of their everyday lives.Samantha and Kim unpack how tech dependence can create unique barriers to connection, making it especially hard for this group to break out of loneliness.Finally, Samantha and Remoy reflect on the importance of self-care and taking a step back when needed. With everything happening in the world, it’s a reminder we all need.Important Note: MASKulinity is taking a few months off to rest, recharge, and come back stronger than ever. We’re so grateful to all of you who’ve joined us on this journey. Stay tuned for more powerful, curious stories about how masculinity shapes our world—and how we can reshape it together. See you soon! 👋Referenced on this episode: Here’s that surprising new report–Men, Women and Social ConnectionsHow American Politics REALLY Sees Men & MASKulinity - Our earlier episode analyzing Pew Research Center’s latest report on men and masculinity with report author and Senior Associate Director of Research at PEW Research Center, Juliana Horowitz and Next Gen Men’s Equity Leaders’ Trevor MayohHow Americans See Men and Masculinity - Pew Research Center reportA long time ago, we talked with Yuval Moses about what happens when men are victims of violent crimeBeyond the Binary: Expanding Gender Identity Representation in Data CollectionCOMPANION PIECES: Pew Research Center ‘s study on Americans’ news sourcesMANY young people are getting their news from TikTokMale loneliness is often a topic of conversation

    27 min
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5
out of 5
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About

Brooklyn- and Oakland-based duo Samantha Nzessi and Remoy Philip invite you into their sometimes loud but necessary banter on masculinity. Hear Samantha and Remoy discuss topics like what masculinity means to our society, whether masculinity has actually been good to men, or even how the latest movie, TV and sports trends are helping or hurting the gender, and everyone else by extension. Also listen as a variety of guests—experts in the fields of gender studies, activists, or even everyday guys—stop by the pod to chat about subjects like ‘woke feminism’ or the men's rights movement. Listen week to week as Samantha, Remoy, et. al., invite (cis/trans/hetero/gay) men to take off the MASK that is masculinity, and do so from distinct yet connected perspectives. Let’s get into it.

Information

  • Creator
    Supported by Next Gen Men
  • Years Active
    2017 - 2025
  • Episodes
    99
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Show Website
    MASKulinity Podcast

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