There is a difference between honesty and emotional graffiti, and the podcast comes across as you spray painting all of your pain onto people, and calling it, “just saying how I feel.” Your tone is the message. It’s the difference between these examples: “you never make time for me,” and “I miss how connected we used to feel.” One sounds like a punch, the other sounds like a person who wants to stay. If you want connection, speak like someone who wants connection. Not someone loading their voice with gunpowder and calling it “feedback”. We act like tone is just style, but it’s not. It’s the emotional contract you hand someone before every conversation, and if that “contract” says I will punish you the second you disappoint me, then congrats. You aren’t communicating, you’re emotionally mugging people and wondering why they don’t feel safe. Your delivery system isn’t neutral, it’s always either building a bridge, or burning one down, and the scariest part is you won’t notice until there is nothing left to rebuild. Being real doesn’t mean being reckless. You can be direct without being a walking trigger. Learn the difference, and speak like someone who wants to be understood, not feared.
Knowing you, and getting close to you for MONTHS, it stings that you put the idea in your own head, writing your own stories about how people are perceiving you, when you can’t even see yourself fully to see the absolute hurt you caused friends in this along the way too. But I guess you never thought about us. I guess you truly are too stuck in your own views to take any time to think about others in a way that doesn’t make you a “victim.”
You claim to take accountability all of the time, but you can’t even see yourself from an outside perspective to even understand how you are sounding. How you are coming across. It is just a whole lot of words, never truly getting a point across with a lot of “I, I, i’s and me, me, me’s.” I think it’s RICH you want to protect your new lover, but will drag everyone else you claim to love. You’ve written your perspective in your head, and are unwilling to understand another side.
