Meriah Nichols Talks About Disability

Meriah Nichols

where disability stories spark change

Episodes

  1. 08/09/2025

    Jose Rosario, Cool Cat; Voice from the Disability Community

    This is an interview with Jose Rosario, a bad ass activist, mental health therapist, super smart and fun guy who has somehow never watched Star Trek. It is a part of the Cool Cats: Voices from the Disability Community series, in which Meriah interviews cool people from the disability community so you can get to know them. Jose's "Short" Bio Born to young Puerto Rican parents, José Rosario developed Cerebral Palsy as a premature baby. His family's journey towards equity deeply impacted his mental health. Currently nearing his PhD in Clinical Psychology, his research focuses on cultural trauma in intersectional communities. He is an Interdisciplinary Minority Fellow for the American Psychological Association, member of the Congressional Diversity and Equality Advisory Board for Congressman James Langevin, and member of the Rhode Island Attorney General Community Advisory Board. He has been honored with the Chris Martin Humanitarian Award and the Victoria Lederberg Award for Excellence in Psychology. José is a keynote speaker and workshop facilitator helping business, nonprofits, and educational institutions to understand and implement identity-inclusive mental health protocols and culturally aware community healing. https://youtu.be/_ZgoUvAopKg An Interview with Jose Rosario, Cool Cat Meriah: [00:00:00] Okay. Welcome Jose. Thank you so much for joining me here on Unpacking Disability and, the Cool Cat Voices from the Disability Community Series where we try to. bring disability community together and introduce cool people from the cross-disability community of which you are definitely one. And thank you so much for being here. Jose: Thank you for having me. I'm so glad that we have a space to also show people with disabilities is not one note characters. We are complex. Meriah: Oh, absolutely. I'm wondering if you can take a minute to introduce yourself. Jose: Sure. Who am I? That's a great question. I am a speaker. I'm an activist. I'm also a therapist. I'm mental health therapist, and I'm a researcher. All of my work is about intersectional violence and how intersectional communities, queer bipoc folks, [00:01:00] queer, disabled folks react to violence and engage in healing. And so, I'm often thinking. About how folks are experiencing harm from various directions. And we don't just cower in fear. There are ways in which we pick ourselves up as a community and move forward. And so, wanting to bring that to light and support and affirm that as much as I can. Meriah: Wow. Thank you. There's so much I want to talk to you about. Yeah. So much. One of the things about the Cool Cat series is as I started this a long time ago,and I ask the same set of questions to everybody. And the point of that is really to emphasize the difference in our answers and how we are so very different. Like we're all coming to this with a lived experience and disability and we're so diverse. I think that's part of the beauty of everyone answering the same set of questions. Diving into those questions, [00:02:00] I am wondering what is your connection with disability? Jose: Oh, such an intimate connection, right? I have been disabled my entire life, and I recognize that disability is the one identity where it can happen anytime in your lifespan. So, all I know is my experience as a disabled person. I was born premature. A couple of months into birth, I stopped breathing and, acquired some brain damage, which led to my CP diagnosis. And so being in a wheelchair using canes like this has been a huge part of me. And I think for a long time there was this. Tension, right? The sort of like, why me aspect to this? Why am I different? What did I do? Why did I have to be this way? And I have very fortunately swung on the other side of the pendulum and been like, you know what? The way that I have to access the world, the way that I have to go into a space and be like, how do I arrange myself here? How do I navigate? This has been a skill that has taught me a [00:03:00] lot. It's taught me to think on my toes to be flexible. And I have really found meaning in that. And as I get older and as I delve deeper into my own career, I'm finding myself really looking, and we were talking about this before this about ancestral wisdom, right? And I come from some pretty cool disability activists, right? Like those people are the people that we come from as a disability community. And so really finding strength and love and affirmation and people like Judy Heumann, for example, is a big hero of mine. So that's my sort of quick spiel on how I feel about disability. And I love the word disability too. It's a historical term, right? It is a civil rights term. I want to reclaim that word. Meriah: I feel very strongly about that too. Amen. Jose: Yeah. Meriah: Quick question, Star Trek or Star Wars. Jose: I have to be honest, I am, I'm not familiar with either, but I love Baby Yoda, so for my partner, I'm going to say Star Wars. Meriah: Yoda is pretty cool, yeah. Can [00:04:00] never fault Yoda. Jose: that's all I got. So, we got to go with what we have. Meriah: Okay. If you could live in any other country for two years, where would you go? Jose: Oh, my goodness. I would say Puerto Rico, but obviously that's a complicated. Answer, because of the colony status. But I think if I had to think outside of that, I've actually heard that London is pretty accessible. Given that we don't have the A DA in another country, that it can be pretty accessible. Meriah: Wow. Jose: That's cool. Meriah: And what dish would you bring to our community picnic potluck. Jose: Oh, you picked the right question for the right person. I am a foodie. I love cooking. I think food allows me to connect back to my family. I think I'd have to bring some kind of Puerto Rican dessert, specifically coconut rice pudding. I know it sounds odd. No, I love it. I love it. Yeah, I could eat it every day. There's something about the spices and the coconut. It just brings me right back home. [00:05:00] Yeah, you're with me. Yeah. Meriah: So, I'm wondering if we could move in now to, and this is probably going to be a really big question for you because you've done so much. But how did you come to doing what you do? Like how has your career trajectory flowed? Jose: Yeah. I always say that I thought my career was going to be something very different. I trained as like an addiction scientist, so I was very traditionally, psychology focused, right? Looking at things like interventions and randomized control trials, and I thought that was where I was going to be. Like, I really thought I was going to be that guy that just did trials all the time. My life changed. Overnight, really, in 2017, somebody asked me to come to a talk, and I thought, oh yeah, I'm so ready. I'm going to bring my data and I'm going to make charts that match the colors of the conference and it's going to be so great for my nerdy brain. And they were like; we don't want that. We want you. And in sharing my own experience of being a mental health professional, of being different. [00:06:00] That was the theme of the talk. I realized that I'm not happy with science that is decontextualized. Like I want to think about how people's lived experiences impact mental health and psychological wellbeing. And from that talk finding people saying I wish my brother could hear this. I wish my neighbor could have heard your talk. It made me realize I'm not alone. There are so many people who have lived experiences that impact our mental health and that led me to the Phoenix Empowered the idea that like, we have to rise up, but we actually have to be empowered to rise up. Otherwise, it's not going to happen. And so that's where my life's work Really pivoted and now it's all about that. It's all about uplifting the stories and educating the public to be like, mental health is not one size fits all, and we need to do better. We have to, for the communities that are suffering currently in our world, I get passionate all, yeah. Meriah: Thank you. And that is so interesting, like how you were really on one track and then it just [00:07:00] serendipitously evolved and expanded to include more of who you really are, huh? Jose: Yeah. I don't even recognize that person anymore. I feel like I'm living in my truth now. Meriah: And where would you like to see yourself in five years? Jose: In five years? I have a dream that our nonprofit will be able to open a holistic, fully radical, healing centric center for wellness that can provide more services nationally and do more than we're already doing. I think in five years, I want to see us being at the forefront of the mental health conversation and talking about how identity and mental health are interconnected. That's my goal for the next five years, I've always loved video production. I'm a film nerd, and so thinking about different media ways to talk about mental health has always been interesting to me. Meriah: Yeah. I couldn't agree with you more about how that. That identity and that inter intersection and all of that just really, it's all connected. Yeah. But I'm wondering, could we [00:08:00] also take a minute just if you could, tell, talk a little bit more about your nonprofit? What is the Phoenix Empowered about? Jose: Yeah. So, we have a, the two-pronged mission, right? The first part is uplifting stories, and we do that in a couple of ways. We have a blog that people contribute to. We're actually relaunching our podcast because. Ironic to the story I just talked about my career launch, the first season of our podcast. I'm going to name it. I'm going to say it. It was pretty boring. It was pretty sciencey and academic and some of the feedback I got was like, Jose, where are you? Like,

  2. 07/14/2025

    Your Disability Story is Yours: What Do You Want it To Say?

    This is an essay about perspective, choosing the stories we tell ourselves and the ways we wish to frame our own narrative. This was originally published in February 2020 but remains just as relevant today as it did then. I read the post in the video below, or listen to it through the podcast embedded. Options! https://youtu.be/9q4y1sDa7t0?si=GOjq2NsMya2w7vCZ I woke up feeling kind of crappy. My body felt old, I feel like I never have enough energy to do everything I want to do, and that bums me out. I have a mountain of things to do, and a lot of them include stuff like bill payment, but then the paint is flaking off the walls of my new house (- because the people who sold it to me did some kind of quick-fix paint thing and it's all falling off). I have to call to go to an audiologist, to make sure I'm really deaf, so I can qualify for a deaf tax credit. I have to call to take Mack to an audiologist because his teacher has concerns about his hearing. Bleh. All of this stuff is my Pile o' Life , and for sure, the longer I look at it, the bigger it all gets and the more tired I feel. But I'm not unique or alone in having a Pile o' Life! We all have it. It may or may not include disability. I can't choose the elements of the Pile o' Life very easily, but I can choose what I do with them, I choose how I feel about them, I choose what my focus will be. When I feel really crappy and overwhelmed by my Pile, I close my eyes and I think of my perfect world. I think of my world at it's best, what I dream of. I write out a story - a magical, fanciful story of the wonder of my life, of all the beauty that it has and holds and expounds. I write out this story of my world as my spirit sees it, not as the Pile sees it. Simply the act of doing this is transformative, empowering, a pivot, a game changer. Us Parents of Kids with Disabilities Have a LOT on Our Plates There are no ifs, ands or buts about this. I spent two solid weeks crying over my daughter's IEP; I spent another two solid weeks trying to figure out my son's 504 and if he was going to get one, or what. I spent a few days even grieving about my third kid potentially having one of the same disabilities as me - and I know I'm "not supposed" to grieve; it's supposed to be totally kosher and cool because I am a strong proponent of disability culture, right? But I DO grieve.  I grieve because disability is a natural and normal part of the human experience and yet it's such a big f*****g deal with people who don't understand it. I grieve because I don't want my kids to go through what I have. I grieve because while the personal experience of disability can be powerful and wonderful, public access and inclusion are royal pains in the ass. Us People with Disabilities Have a LOT on Our Plates There are no ifs, ands or buts about this. I have to fight for every.single.scrap of access that is thrown my way. I need to figure out how to stay strong and true to my spirit while wading through mires of C-PTSD and neurodivergence. I need to figure out how to remember anything when my brain wants to let loose. I need to figure out what is being said around me, because it's all a hushed mumble. I have constant, daily stress from the news and the threats of x, y and z being cut and I don't know what I"m going to do about any of it. I am exhausted from trying to explain how I "don't look" disabled but I sure as hell am, and that being disabled is not a bad thing. These Plates of Mine Are Full The plates, the Pile o' Life. All that stuff is real and there and like I said, the focus and feelings are my choices. So I sit down and write the new stories. I write stories of a world that we create that celebrates every person, ALL PEOPLE, that realizes and recognizes that we are all Beloved. I write stories that include my beautiful home, my gardens that feed and sustain both body and spirit, that heal and nurture. I write stories that include my three lovely children, each so perfect in their existence. I write of them happy, flourishing, thriving, learning, growing, being and becoming who they truly are. I write stories of a life in which communication will be easy for me. I write stories that bring me joy as I write them. Then with the joy that they bring, I feel a renewed sense of energy, enthusiasm and power and I'm able to see the Pile o' Life differently. The Stories We Create What we say about ourselves: the words we choose and the narratives we tell, are so powerful. I create a story of my life in which I am a certain type of person engaging in the world in a certain way. I could weave my story in one particular way, with a heavy focus on the lack, on the negative, on the challenges. Or I can tell my story in a way that makes me feel more powerful. On Disability: Disability is not a challenge to be overcome: it's a platform upon which I live my life. Disability is a natural and normal part of the human experience. Disability is value-added; we learn, grow and thrive to an utmost extent when we lean in and figure the "disability" component. On Being a Single Mom: Being a single mom means my kids thoroughly learn self-sufficiency, responsibility and independence My kids learn the value of one active, engaged grandparent (- my mom) Timing and organization, resourcefulness and financial management become stellar, natural skill sets On Death and Loss: I had the experience of knowing what a truly great brother is I have an angel that I can call by name My grandparents gave me wonderful, funny memories that I am grateful for, and a rich love for movies and learning I could go on, but you understand where I am going with this. It's about focusing on the things I want to focus on, it's about focus and weaving and creating a narrative that shifts my feelings, enhances joy, and ultimately, literally BECOMES MY REALITY. We create our lives and our stories. We spin our tales as we will, we shape our narratives and we choose the angle, the plot twist, the trajectory. So how do we want to tell it?

  3. 07/13/2025

    Why Do We Need to Feel Disability Pride?

    This is an answer to a question posed, "why do I need to feel pride in my disability? Isn't it enough that I accept my disability?" It will talk about disability pride, models of disability, sparkle sauce and glitter juice. You can watch me read the essay below, or listen on the podcast (it has been edited, but was originally published in July of 2022) Watch the Podcast Video of "Why Do We Need to Feel Pride in Our Disability" here: https://youtu.be/2Rlmm4FSCZc square pegs in a round hole world Listen to me read this by clicking the player below. Why Do We Need to Feel Disability Pride? Why do we need to feel disability pride at all? Doesn’t that feel slightly masochistic, feeling pride in something that has given us grief in our life? Feel pride over something that essentially “isn’t working” from a mainstream cultural perspective. As a friend said on Facebook, “isn’t it enough that I accept it? Why do I need to feel pride over it?” “Isn’t it enough that I accept it? Why do I need to feel pride over it?” Brene Brown wrote in Atlas of The Heart that pride is a feeling of pleasure or celebration related to our accomplishments or efforts. This is authentic pride, it’s positive and can be felt for ourselves and/or others. “I can feel proud of myself, proud of you, proud of us.” Pride is an emotional response or attitude to something with an intimate connection to oneself, due to its perceived value. Oxford defines it as "the quality of having an excessively high opinion of oneself or one's own importance." Wikipedia Hubris, on the other hand, is “an inflated sense of one’s own innate abilities that is tied more to the need for dominance than to actual accomplishments.” It’s the negative piece that usually flavors the word, “pride,” and is not actually part of pride at all. To me, there are two things going on with using “pride” in connection with disability: there is the definition of pride itself and the negative taste it can leave in our mouths. And there is the confusion over feeling like we must feel pride over something that may have simply been something difficult for us in our lives.  The Feelings Associated with Disability The feelings that we tend to feel growing up with disabilities are shame (feeling flawed, unworthy of love, belonging, connection), guilt (feelings of what we’ve done or failed to do, putting others out, been an inconvenience), humiliation (feeling belittled and put down), and embarrassment (feeling that we’ve done something that has made us uncomfortable, but is a fleeting and relatable experience).  These feelings plug in to the medical model of disability (that disability needs to be fixed), and they make perfect sense when viewed through that lens.  We feel guilt our families have to go out of their ways to accommodate us, guilt that everyone in our class must wait, bored, while the teacher tries to figure out how to enable the closed captions in our Zoom session. We feel shame in who we are when we see ourselves through the lens of the medical model, that we need to be fixed, made “well”, that our edges of our square pegs need to be shaved off to fit in the round holes of the world.  Read: Square Pegs in a Round Peg WorldThe power of the neurodivergent The Social Model of Disability The social model of disability, however, sees disability as a natural and normal part of the human experience. From the social model of disability, it’s the culture that we live in that’s the problem, and culture can be changed. Culture is a living expression, it’s fluid, it can transform. Shaving off our square pegs to fit in the round holes of the world, a’la Medical Model of Disability, is a travesty from the viewpoint of the Social Model of Disability, as it removes all juju, the mojo, the good sauce that disability brings with it. It’s like a giant vacuum cleaner hose, sucking up the glitter that also makes up disability. And make no mistake about it: there IS glitter in disability. There’s sparkle-sauce and awesomeness in the world of disability. Whether or not mainstream culture recognizes it, almost everything that is deeply cool in the world came from someone with a disability. Think about it: we’re the ones who push outside the round pegs of the world – we push past the given consciousness. We literally go to new places in the way we think, emote, express, hear, see, move. Even Donna Summer had a disability! Back to the question my friend asked:  Isn’t it enough that I accept my disability? Why do I need to feel pride over it? Simply accepting our disability is living with the discomfort of being a square peg that’s rubbing into a round-pegged world. It’s fine. It works. It’s tolerable. But pride in our disability is finding our square edges, understanding what those square edges are to us, and celebrating them. Those square edges have sparkle-capacity and the very real capacity to change ourselves, change our world. We are never who are truly meant to be without them: they literally give us our edge.  That’s why I think choosing to feel pride makes sense.  Read More: Brene Brown, Atlas of the Heart, pg 242-243; 134-165 Hubristic pride and authentic pride (Authentic and Hubristic Pride: Differential Relations to Aspects of Goal Regulation, Affect, and Self-Control): https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3137237/ Wikipedia, Pride: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pride Opinion Pieces Posts that I've written about disability access, inclusion or things said 3 Reasons to Say "Disability" Instead of "Special Needs" “Wheelchair Bound” Sound Kinky 10 Dumb Things the Hearing Say to the Deaf (Featuring Captain Picard) "Special" is the New "Retard" That Teacher Carrying a Wheelchair Using Student What People First Language Is (& Why and When It’s WRONG) Square Pegs in a Round Peg World: The Power of the Neurodiverse

    8 min

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where disability stories spark change