Mess and Meaning

Dr. Kara Shade
  • 5.0 (9)
  • RELATIONSHIPS
  • UPDATED BIWEEKLY

Mess and Meaning is a show for busy parents who want to ditch the spin cycle for a more intentional life of connection and purpose. When we’re bombarded with distractions and demands, noise and clutter (and 28 consecutive themed dress-up days at school), it’s easy to lose sight of the stuff that really matters. Join Dr. Kara Shade – a wife, mom of 3, and an award-winning relationship coach – on her quest to reclaim the meaningful amidst the messy. Listen in for thought-provoking interviews, cutting-edge research, and relatable personal stories as we learn more and live better, together. 

Episodes

  1. It Goes Dark Fast: Meeting the Challenges of Modern Parenthood with Dr. Marcey Mettica

    02/05/2025

    It Goes Dark Fast: Meeting the Challenges of Modern Parenthood with Dr. Marcey Mettica

    *Little Ears Warning* We discuss some topics in the episode preview, and in the final third of the episode, that you probably won't want little ears to hear (e.g., pornography, digital dangers, and addictions).  My guest for the season 1 finale is Dr. Marcey Mettica, owner of Prosper Counseling, PLLC. She's a licensed professional counselor supervisor and a registered play therapist supervisor with more than 20 years of experience serving children, teens, and families.  Marcey explains why unstructured play and boredom are critical for child development, and why parents should be more like thermostats than thermometers. She gives us an insider look at how play therapy works, hops up on her digital soapbox with a call to arms for parents, and she leaves us with her absolute best parenting advice and strategies (which are surprisingly simple and effective).  If you want to feel more equipped to meet the challenges of modern parenthood, don't miss this conversation. LISTEN IN AS WE EXPLORE: 1) how to balance structured/unstructured activities to minimize overwhelm and resistance from our kids  2) what happens in a play therapy room, and what issues and ages it's suitable for 3) simple tips to get your kids to listen, without raising your voice or repeating yourself a hundred times 4) how 30 minutes a week can transform the parent-child relationship, and banish most behavior problems 5) the Surgeon General's advisory on mental health and social media for teens, and what Marcey wishes more parents understood about the dangers of the digital world.  LINKS + FOLLOW-UPS: To connect with Marcey and her team, visit the Prosper Counseling website, or call their office at 972-292-0007.  We referenced episode 4 with Dr. Dave Schramm where we discussed some ideas for special parent-child time.  We also mentioned Officer Gomez, a school resource officer who shares information and resources to help keep parents abreast of what's happening in schools, especially around kids' technology/social media use.  To read the 2023 Surgeon General's Advisory on "Social Media and Youth Mental Health," click here.  Once again, we mentioned the great book by Catherine Price, How to Break Up With Your Phone.  Note: If you purchase the book using my Amazon affiliate link above, I may earn a small commission (at no extra cost to you). Links are provided for your convenience and help support the podcast.  * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Looking for more ways to stay grounded in the good stuff? Visit www.groundedingood.org for Dr. Kara's book, free newsletter, curated resources, and other offerings. Disclaimer: This podcast is educational/preventive in nature and is NOT intended to be therapy. If you have relationship or mental health concerns, you can find qualified help on sites like BetterHelp or The Gottman Referral Network. *Thanks to Alex Grohl for the intro/outro music.

    1h 4m
  2. Would You Be Ready? Chasing Dreams with Matt Eicheldinger

    01/22/2025

    Would You Be Ready? Chasing Dreams with Matt Eicheldinger

    Hello, this is Matt, and he's a teacher . . . In this episode, I chat with one of the good guys of the internet, Matt Eicheldinger. He’s a veteran teacher and New York Times and USA Today bestselling author who knows a thing or two about the power of stories to connect and inspire us.  We talk about the significance of small moments, Matt’s fast rise to fame after unclogging a parking lot drain, and the profound journey of self-discovery that followed. He urges us to really slow down to connect the dots and listen to the stirrings of our hearts. We muse on integrity and authenticity in a social media landscape that favors flashiness and followers, and he shares his best tips for listeners with big dreams.    LISTEN IN AS WE EXPLORE: 1) what makes stories powerful vessels for connection, learning, and meaning 2) playing long games, like teaching and parenting, where you never fully know your impact 3) how journaling and looking back can help propel you forward 4) identifying your transferable skills and bursting out of your bubble 5) how to really know yourself and discern which opportunities align with your values LINKS + FOLLOW-UPS: Follow Matt on Facebook, Instagram, or TikTok @matteicheldinger.  You can also grab a copy of his books on Amazon: Sticky Notes: Memorable Lessons from Ordinary Moments (for adults, especially teachers!) Matt Sprouts and the Curse of the Ten Broken Toes (middle grade novel #1) Matt Sprouts and the Day Nora Ate the Sun (middle grade novel #2) Matt also shared a quote from NYT bestselling author Jason Reynolds, the 2020-2022 National Ambassador for Young People’s Literature, about stories as "baked-in empathy machines."  Note: If you purchase Matt's book(s) using my Amazon affiliate links above, I may earn a small commission (at no extra cost to you). Links are provided for your convenience and help support the podcast.  * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Looking for more ways to stay grounded in the good stuff? Visit www.groundedingood.org for Dr. Kara's book, free newsletter, curated resources, and other offerings. Disclaimer: This podcast is educational/preventive in nature and is NOT intended to be therapy. If you have relationship or mental health concerns, you can find qualified help on sites like BetterHelp or The Gottman Referral Network. *Thanks to Alex Grohl for the intro/outro music.

    1h 3m
  3. It's Not Fair! Mastering the Mental Load with Dr. Morgan Cutlip

    01/08/2025

    It's Not Fair! Mastering the Mental Load with Dr. Morgan Cutlip

    Dr. Morgan Cutlip is a relationship expert who knows what it feels like to lose yourself in motherhood, and she’s committed to helping moms navigate it better. In this episode, we do a deep dive into the mental load, intensive parenting, and the great expectations of modern motherhood. Morgan shares what you can do on the toilet to improve your life, why stuffing your needs typically backfires, and how partners can close the gap when the division of labor feels out of whack.  It's a great conversation starter for couples around fairness, embracing differences, and how to carry the weight of it all better, together.  LISTEN IN AS WE EXPLORE: 1) what it means to "go mom yourself"  2) what informs our expectations around marriage and parenthood, and why we need to give them a second look 3) ways to share the load with a partner who travels, or if you have odd or variable schedules 4) how to help kids see and do some of the "invisible work" in a family 5) the Surgeon General's advisory on extreme parental stress and practical ways to cope better LINKS + FOLLOW-UPS: Follow Morgan for practical relationship tips on Instagram, or visit her website for more resources! You can also pre-order her latest book on the mental load for couples, A Better Share, or grab a copy of her first book for moms, Love Your Kids Without Losing Yourself. Here's a link to the full report we mentioned at the end of the episode: The U.S. Surgeon General's Advisory on the Mental Health & Well-Being of Parents Note: If you purchase her book(s) using my Amazon affiliate links above, I may earn a small commission (at no extra cost to you). Links are provided for your convenience and help support the podcast.  * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Looking for more ways to stay grounded in the good stuff? Visit www.groundedingood.org for Dr. Kara's book, free newsletter, curated resources, and other offerings. Disclaimer: This podcast is educational/preventive in nature and is NOT intended to be therapy. If you have relationship or mental health concerns, you can find qualified help on sites like BetterHelp or The Gottman Referral Network. *Thanks to Alex Grohl for the intro/outro music.

    1h 2m
  4. Leap of Faith - Letting God Lead with Brenna Milleville

    12/24/2024

    Leap of Faith - Letting God Lead with Brenna Milleville

    Brenna Milleville, owner of popular Christian apparel company Elly and Grace, shares how a nudge from God led her away from a career in public policy to an unexpected life of entrepreneurship.  We talk about living your values, fending off copycats, and the long commutes with tear-stained cheeks that ultimately prepared her for Elly and Grace. Brenna's all about leaps of faith and letting God lead, and you'll leave this conversation inspired to follow the tugs on your heart to see where they take you.   LISTEN IN AS WE EXPLORE: 1) how Brenna's faith guides her business, and her life (in ways that often surprise her)   2) ways to juggle parenting and working from home to show up well for both 3) the importance of relaxing routines and separation from screens 4) why she diversifies her business, and how she chooses new products 5) her best advice for aspiring entrepreneurs, and what she learned from a terrible past job LINKS + FOLLOW-UPS:  If you want to connect with Brenna, you can find her on Instagram @ellyandgrace, or shop Elly and Grace's faith-based apparel and gifts here. We briefly mentioned Catherine Price's excellent book, How to Break Up With Your Phone. I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to engage with their technology more intentionally (i.e., less mindless scrolling and the anxiety, comparison, and exhaustion that comes with it).  Note: If you purchase the book using my Amazon affiliate link above, I may earn a small commission (at no extra cost to you). Links are provided for your convenience and help support the podcast.  * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Looking for more ways to stay grounded in the good stuff? Visit www.groundedingood.org for Dr. Kara's book, free newsletter, curated resources, and other offerings. Disclaimer: This podcast is educational/preventive in nature and is NOT intended to be therapy. If you have relationship or mental health concerns, you can find qualified help on sites like BetterHelp or The Gottman Referral Network. *Thanks to Alex Grohl for the intro/outro music.

    44 min
  5. Naked Out There - Vulnerability and Entrepreneurship with Assia Mahmood

    12/11/2024

    Naked Out There - Vulnerability and Entrepreneurship with Assia Mahmood

    In part two of the mompreneur mini-series, I chat with Assia Mahmood, owner of Windhaven Academy, children’s book author, and host of the She Busy podcast. We discuss some of the parallels between entrepreneurship and parenting, the importance of resilience and delegation, and how to make sure you don’t die on a hiccup.    Assia shares what it was like growing up in a wildly entrepreneurial family, how she launched a daycare just as the pandemic began (with a newborn and a toddler to boot), and what it’s like to be married to “superman.”  If you want to build or create something beautiful, you'll leave this conversation inspired to take the next brave step toward your dream.  LISTEN IN AS WE EXPLORE: 1) essential traits of entrepreneurs and the vulnerability of building something you care deeply about 2) expectations vs. realities of entrepreneurship and how to handle the unexpected 3) the importance of a support network to back your dream  4) how to micromanage less and focus on the bigger picture (in life and business) 5) creating systems and processes, and clarifying your goals to get more of the flexibility and freedom you're after LINKS + FOLLOW-UPS:  Get Social! Follow Assia on Instagram, LinkedIn, or Facebook. To learn more about her preschool/daycare in Plano, TX, visit the Windhaven Academy website, and check out her first children's book, My First Day of Daycare. You can access her free delegation blueprint for leaders and learn more about her coaching for female entrepreneurs with brick and mortar businesses on her website. Note: If you purchase the book using my Amazon affiliate link above, I may earn a small commission (at no extra cost to you). Links are provided for your convenience and help support the podcast.  * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Looking for more ways to stay grounded in the good stuff? Visit www.groundedingood.org for Dr. Kara's book, free newsletter, curated resources, and other offerings. Disclaimer: This podcast is educational/preventive in nature and is NOT intended to be therapy. If you have relationship or mental health concerns, you can find qualified help on sites like BetterHelp or The Gottman Referral Network. *Thanks to Alex Grohl for the intro/outro music.

    54 min
  6. Talk Me Through This - The Art of Collaboration with The Bluebird Design Co.

    11/27/2024

    Talk Me Through This - The Art of Collaboration with The Bluebird Design Co.

    In the first installment of a new mompreneur mini-series, I chat with the co-owners of The Bluebird Design Co., Krystin King and Vanessa Harrell, on adult friendship, entrepreneurship, and their best home organization tips for parents. Is it really a good idea to go into business with your best friend? How do you juggle competing priorities at home and work without the guilt? And why is my family completely oblivious to the clutter in our house? We talk "business dating," the hidden potential in every garage, and the power of accepting influence in this candid conversation about passion and collaboration.  LISTEN IN AS WE EXPLORE: 1) simple ways to maintain close adult friendships in a crazy season of life  2) how to strike a more sustainable work-life balance in a world of 24/7 access and endless distractions 3) how to navigate differences with your partner (or clients!) and present a united front 4) home organization tips: toys, quick closet refreshes, clever garage storage, and more 5) opportunities to minimize clutter, encourage experiences, and cultivate gratitude during the holiday season LINKS + FOLLOW-UPS:  Visit The Bluebird Design Company's website to view their portfolio and learn more about their organization, staging, and design services in the DFW area. You can also follow them on Facebook or Instagram for behind the scenes peeks at their projects, functional design inspiration, and home organization hacks. They even made us a PDF of their go-to home organization products! We also discussed sliding vs. deciding, which Dr. Scott Stanley and I covered in detail in episode 1 (have a listen if you want a deeper dive!). Some studies on the powerful effects of friendship linked here. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Looking for more ways to stay grounded in the good stuff? Visit www.groundedingood.org for Dr. Kara's book, free newsletter, curated resources, and other offerings. Disclaimer: This podcast is educational/preventive in nature and is NOT intended to be therapy. If you have relationship or mental health concerns, you can find qualified help on sites like BetterHelp or The Gottman Referral Network. *Thanks to Alex Grohl for the intro/outro music.

    53 min
  7. Friday Fries + Secret Sauce - The Case for Connection with Dr. Dave Schramm

    11/13/2024

    Friday Fries + Secret Sauce - The Case for Connection with Dr. Dave Schramm

    Dr. Dave Schramm is an associate professor and family life extension specialist at Utah State University, and he has given more than 600 presentations around the world on happiness, marriage, and parenting.  We talk gratitude, the power of French fries, and the two places our phones shouldn’t go with us. We also discuss the loneliness epidemic, Dr. Dave's “secret sauce” for thriving families and businesses (the basis of his TEDx talk), and the research that backs it all up.  The happy hacks, gratitude practices, and connecting rituals he shares are proven to change lives for the better (in just a few minutes a day!). Don't miss this episode as we make the case for connection in a busy, noisy, increasingly isolated world.   LISTEN IN AS WE EXPLORE: 1) how to make small pockets of time with our kids really count 2) the 3 ingredients the best places to work have in common 3) the dangers of isolation and why community matters more than ever  4) the distinction between time and attention 5) how to overcome our brain's bias for negativity and see more good  LINKS + FOLLOW-UPS:  Visit Dr. Dave's website for his "next-gen" journals, or to book him as a speaker. His TEDx talk is also available on YouTube. Check out his Stronger Marriage Connection Podcast or pop over to the Utah Marriage Commission website for more marriage resources! Take the free VIA survey to help you identify your top 5 character strengths. Dr. Dave's work with businesses and families is inspired (in part) by the three needs Dr. Rick Hanson outlines in Hardwiring Happiness. Note: If you purchase a book using my Amazon affiliate link above, I may earn a small commission (at no extra cost to you). Links are provided for your convenience and help support the podcast.   * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Looking for more ways to stay grounded in the good stuff? Visit www.groundedingood.org for Dr. Kara's book, free newsletter, curated resources, and other offerings. Disclaimer: This podcast is educational/preventive in nature and is NOT intended to be therapy. If you have relationship or mental health concerns, you can find qualified help on sites like BetterHelp or The Gottman Referral Network. *Thanks to Alex Grohl for the intro/outro music.

    1h 5m
  8. Let It Be - Navigating Grief with Dr. Jennifer Ryan

    10/30/2024

    Let It Be - Navigating Grief with Dr. Jennifer Ryan

    This episode features personal stories and reflections on grief from my friends Stephen Shanabrook and Davenna Ward, as well as an interview with Dr. Jennifer Ryan, a licensed professional counselor supervisor and the managing director of I Choose Change in Allen, TX.  No one is immune to loss, and when it happens, we don’t get to skip the emotional rollercoaster that comes with it. Consider this episode your permission to feel it all, and let it be. Whether you’re in the throes of grief yourself, or you want to better understand the process and how you can love others through the messy, ugly parts of grief, you’ll find encouragement and practical advice here to help you get more comfortable with the uncomfortable. LISTEN IN AS WE EXPLORE: 1) how to support someone who’s grieving 2) when therapy is, and isn’t, helpful after a loss 3) how to grieve with/around our kids  4) misconceptions about the “stages” of grief 5) surprising ways our attachment style impacts our experience of grief 6) how to grow our capacity through self-care strategies and boundaries  LINKS + FOLLOW-UPS: To connect with Dr. Jen, visit her website, ichoosechange.com, or find her on Facebook or Instagram. Her DIY program for mental health, the Self-Love Hub, is available at myselflovetools.com. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Looking for more ways to stay grounded in the good stuff? Visit www.groundedingood.org for Dr. Kara's book, free newsletter, curated resources, and other offerings. Disclaimer: This podcast is educational/preventive in nature and is NOT intended to be therapy. If you have relationship or mental health concerns, you can find qualified help on sites like BetterHelp or The Gottman Referral Network. *Thanks to Alex Grohl for the intro/outro music.

    1h 4m
  9. Rage Against Groundhog Day - Keeping Marriage Fun with Amberly Lambertsen

    10/23/2024

    Rage Against Groundhog Day - Keeping Marriage Fun with Amberly Lambertsen

    Amberly Lambertsen is a certified family life educator, marriage coach, and host of the Prioritize Your Marriage podcast. In our chat, she shares candid personal insights and practical tips to help couples make their marriages a priority throughout every stage of life. We also discuss inappropriate reels, postpartum diapers, and her kids’ obsession with hotel toilets as we brainstorm ways to reclaim the fun and spontaneity in our relationships, leverage our support networks, and set better boundaries to prioritize quality time.  LISTEN IN AS WE EXPLORE:  1) the transition to parenthood 2) juggling higher education and parenting 3) creative date ideas on a budget (some without childcare!) 4) rituals of connection and transition rituals 5) 2.5 tips for navigating the holiday season with intention LINKS + FOLLOW-UPS: Check out Amberly’s date night books, blog posts, and podcast at aprioritizedmarriage.com.  You can also find her on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.  * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Looking for more ways to stay grounded in the good stuff? Visit www.groundedingood.org for Dr. Kara's book, free newsletter, curated resources, and other offerings. Disclaimer: This podcast is educational/preventive in nature and is NOT intended to be therapy. If you have relationship or mental health concerns, you can find qualified help on sites like BetterHelp or The Gottman Referral Network. *Thanks to Alex Grohl for the intro/outro music.

    56 min
  10. Just Stop It - A Marriage Masterclass with Dr. Scott Stanley

    10/09/2024

    Just Stop It - A Marriage Masterclass with Dr. Scott Stanley

    Dr. Scott Stanley, one of the leading relationship and commitment experts in the world (and an overall groovy guy), packs this episode with research-based insights and time-tested advice from his more than 40 years in the field. We also chat about septic tanks, little forks, and kitchen massages as we translate relationship science to real life.  Researchers have long known the hallmarks of happy marriages; unfortunately, a lot of us never got the memo...  Learn how to fight for your marriage - and when you need to "just stop it" - in this fun masterclass with my mentor and friend. LISTEN IN AS WE EXPLORE: 1) three keys to successful relationships 2) four communication danger signs 3) the nature of commitment (dedication vs. constraints) 4) small sacrifices that make a big impact LINKS + FOLLOW-UPS: Check out Scott's bestselling book, Fighting For Your Marriage (4th ed. just released in Sept. 2024) Learn more about his relationship education company, PREP, Inc., and their self-paced online program for couples - ePREP! "When choosing a long-term partner, you will inevitably be choosing a particular set of unsolvable problems that you’ll be grappling with for the next ten, twenty or fifty years." -the late Dr. Dan Wile (founder and developer of Collaborative Couple Therapy) Note: If you purchase the book using my Amazon affiliate link above, I may earn a small commission (at no extra cost to you). Links are provided for your convenience and help support the podcast.  * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Looking for more ways to stay grounded in the good stuff? Visit www.groundedingood.org for Dr. Kara's book, free newsletter, curated resources, and other offerings. Disclaimer: This podcast is educational/preventive in nature and is NOT intended to be therapy. If you have relationship or mental health concerns, you can find qualified help on sites like BetterHelp or The Gottman Referral Network. *Thanks to Alex Grohl for the intro/outro music.

    1h 16m
  11. Trailer - Mess and Meaning with Dr. Kara Shade

    SEASON 1 TRAILER

    Trailer - Mess and Meaning with Dr. Kara Shade

    Hi, I'm Dr. Kara, and this is the Mess and Meaning podcast. It's a show for busy parents like you who want to ditch the spin cycle for a more intentional life of connection and purpose.  If you're ready to build a life you love, listen in for thought-provoking interviews, cutting-edge research, and relatable personal stories as we learn more and live better, together.        *New episodes every other Wednesday.* ABOUT YOUR HOST:   Dr. Kara is a wife, mom of 3, and an award-winning relationship coach. She earned her master's in dispute resolution, a PhD in family studies, and she’s blogged on relationships for Psychology Today. For more than a decade, couples have let her peek behind the curtain into their relationships to offer encouragement and guidance.   Dr. Kara believes showing up well for our people is probably the hardest, most important work we'll ever do. She hopes Mess and Meaning can offer a roadmap for doing just that.  * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Looking for more ways to stay grounded in the good stuff? Visit www.groundedingood.org for Dr. Kara's book, free newsletter, curated resources, and other offerings. Disclaimer: This podcast is educational/preventive in nature and is NOT intended to be therapy. If you have relationship or mental health concerns, you can find qualified help on sites like BetterHelp or The Gottman Referral Network. *Thanks to Alex Grohl for the intro/outro music.

    2 min

Trailer

5
out of 5
9 Ratings

About

Mess and Meaning is a show for busy parents who want to ditch the spin cycle for a more intentional life of connection and purpose. When we’re bombarded with distractions and demands, noise and clutter (and 28 consecutive themed dress-up days at school), it’s easy to lose sight of the stuff that really matters. Join Dr. Kara Shade – a wife, mom of 3, and an award-winning relationship coach – on her quest to reclaim the meaningful amidst the messy. Listen in for thought-provoking interviews, cutting-edge research, and relatable personal stories as we learn more and live better, together. 

Information

  • Creator
    Dr. Kara Shade
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2025
  • Episodes
    11
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2025 Grounded in Good, LLC
  • Show Website
    Mess and Meaning