Midlife Unfiltered

Heather England
  • 5.0 (33)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Dr. Heather England shares the real truth about midlife intimacy, love, and relationships. Together, we’ll explore these and other midlife topics, and empower you to create a life filled with meaning! This information is intended for educational and informational purposes only and is meant for your personal use to help enhance your life, your relationships, and your sexual intimacy. It is not intended to serve as psychotherapy/counseling and should never be a substitute for medical advice. This information is to be used at your own risk based on your own judgment.

  1. APR 24

    The Midlife Loneliness Women Rarely Talk About

    Summary:In this episode, Dr. Heather England explores the profound loneliness many women experience in midlife, despite outward success and stability. She shares personal stories, research-backed insights, and practical strategies to foster deeper connections with ourselves, our marriages, and our friendships. Key topics:The subtle signs of loneliness despite having a seemingly perfect lifeThe importance of emotional intimacy over social activityHow midlife reveals unrecognized feelings of disconnectionThe difference between belonging and fitting inStrategies to build authentic friendships and improve marriage connectionsThe neuroscience behind loneliness and our need for safe, emotional bondsHow to reframe negative narratives about ourselvesPractical steps for nurturing existing relationships and building new onesThe significance of vulnerability and authenticity in forming meaningful connectionsAddressing the societal messages that lead women to prioritize others over their own emotional needs Resources:Conversation Starters Connect with Heather England:WebsiteLinkedInSubstack (A Midlife Reckoning)Workshops Time Stamps00:00 - The unrecognized loneliness in women who seemingly have it all 01:21 - Heather’s background and why she understands midlife transitions 01:47 - Stories of women facing empty nest and feelings of profound loneliness 02:38 - Guilt and societal expectations around self-care and friendship post-childrearing 03:29 - Personal experience with loneliness and the impact of neglecting friendships 04:23 - Overcoming shame and childhood stories affecting adult connection 05:19 - The imposter syndrome and feeling flawed compared to other women 06:39 - The biological and neurological basis of human need for connection 08:24 - Recognizing superficial connections vs deep emotional intimacy 09:14 - The health risks associated with chronic loneliness 10:27 - Brain science: our evolution for belonging and safety 11:51 - The hidden disconnects in long-term marriages and friendships 12:43 - How familiarity can breed emotional disconnection over time 13:30 - The key components of vulnerability and responsiveness in relationships 14:35 - How life’s responsibilities expose the loneliness beneath the surface 16:08 - Challenging negative stories about ourselves and reframing for agency 17:30 - Turning awareness into intentional behavior changes 18:36 - Building authentic relationships, even with just a few close friends 19:00 - Choosing authenticity over fitting in in social settings 20:15 - The difference between belonging and superficial fitting in 21:07 - The power of showing up as your true self in social groups 21:32 - Practical tips for improving marriage intimacy and communication 24:23 - The courage needed to reach out and cultivate new friendships 25:11 - Success stories of women creating meaningful connections 26:26 - Final encouragement: it’s never too late to rebuild your social and emotional life This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not intended to be therapy or medical advice. For personal concerns, please consult a professional.

    28 min

  2. APR 17

    The Shocking Origin of Women’s Perfectionism (It’s Not What You Think)

    Summary:Discover how perfectionism is more than a personality trait—it's a survival strategy rooted in childhood that can hold women back in midlife. Heather England explores how letting go of the need for perfection opens space for authenticity, rest, and genuine self-trust. Main Topics: The origins of perfectionism as a survival tool rooted in childhood experiencesHow societal and social media pressures reinforce perfectionist tendenciesThe shift from striving for perfection to embracing "good enough" in midlifePractical ways to release the need for constant approval and reframe self-worthThe importance of small decisions in reclaiming authenticity and personal freedom In this episode: The emotional cost of perfectionism and how it can drain creative energyPersonal story of how a simplified Christmas card brought newfound freedomHow early approval-seeking behaviors are reinforced by childhood experiences and societal expectationsThe cultural messages that promote impossible standards for womenRecognizing when perfectionism becomes a barrier to genuine connection and self-trustThe concept of "good enough" as an act of self-care and prioritizationA powerful question: “What would you stop doing if your worth wasn't on the line?” Connect with Dr. Heather England:WebsiteLinkedInSubstack (A Midlife Reckoning)WorkshopsResource PageSubmit a Podcast TopicReady to spice up your sex life? Get my guide “69 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life” Time Stamps00:00 - Perfectionism as a survival strategy, not a personality trait 00:48 - The story behind Heather’s simplified Christmas card 01:48 - How perfectionism leads to emotional exhaustion and false praise 02:46 - The cultural and social influences reinforcing perfectionist standards 03:16 - Perfectionism as an adaptive response rooted in childhood experiences 04:13 - Heather’s personal story of her mother’s conditional love 05:34 - How societal pressures and social media perpetuate impossible standards 06:53 - The impact of chronic self-surveillance and body criticism 07:22 - The importance of capturing real moments and challenging social media narratives 08:20 - When survival strategies harm authentic relationships in midlife 09:11 - Embracing “good enough” as a form of self-trust and prioritization 09:40 - Practical examples of letting go of perfectionism for better priorities 10:07 - The healing power of trusting ourselves and changing our relationship with worth 11:08 - Reflective question: “What would you stop doing if your worth wasn’t on the line?” 11:18 - Closing thoughts and invitation to connect with Heather Note: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not intended to be therapy or medical advice.

    12 min

  3. APR 17

    Why Women Are Running on Empty and How Saying No Can Change Everything

    Summary:Are you exhausted from carrying the invisible burdens of household and emotional labor without recognition? In this episode, Heather England dives deep into the societal expectations placed on women, the true cost of mental load, and practical steps to reclaim your agency and voice. Key Topics: The origins of the mental load and how it’s patterned from childhood experiencesThe list of invisible tasks women manage daily—from household chores to emotional laborThe impact of the mental load on women’s physical and emotional healthWhy helping is not enough; emphasizing ownership and responsibility in partnershipsThe project management perspective as a tool for sharing responsibilitiesThe importance of saying "no" and outsourcing tasks that drain your energyHow societal expectations shape women’s roles before they even realize itThe significance of having honest conversations with your partner about responsibilityPractical steps for women to start using their voice and set boundariesThe ongoing need for women to prioritize themselves without guilt or apology Connect with Dr. Heather England:WebsiteLinkedInSubstack (A Midlife Reckoning)WorkshopsResource PageSubmit a Podcast Topic ResourcesThe Piggy Book by Anthony Brown Time Stamps00:00 - Introduction to the unchosen hats women wear and mental load 00:16 - Heather’s background and the purpose of the episode 00:46 - The societal role model observed in the 70s and its lasting effects 1:13 - Personal story of growing up with the same expectations 2:09 - The societal expectations and invisible chores women carry 3:07 - Specific responsibilities women often manage daily 4:03 - How the mental load costs women more than just effort 4:33 - Challenging the perception of help versus ownership 5:00 - The project management analogy for household responsibilities 5:57 - The invisibility of women’s work and societal denial 6:26 - Exhaustion and its effects on intimacy and desire 7:25 - The fatigue as a bandwidth issue, not a libido problem 8:23 - The importance of mental and emotional space for intimacy 9:15 - Introduction to "The Piggy Book" as a metaphor for shared responsibilities 10:10 - How women need to reclaim time for themselves 11:09 - Having honest conversations with partners about responsibility 12:36 - Starting small: saying no and outsourcing tasks 13:31 - Personal example of outsourcing household chores 14:01 - Reclaiming agency and the importance of unapologetic self-prioritization 14:37 - The message of deserving more and creating boundaries 15:21 - Final encouragement for women to use their voice loudly 15:48 - Subscription, sharing, and connecting 16:14 - Disclaimer on medical advice and encouragement to seek professional help Note: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not intended to be therapy or medical advice.

    16 min

  4. EPISODE 41

    Introducing Midlife Unfiltered

    Connect with Dr. Heather England:WebsiteLinkedInSubstack (A Midlife Reckoning)WorkshopsResource PageSubmit a Podcast Topic

    4 min

  5. APR 17

    The Midlife Question That Could Change How You Live Your Remaining Years

    Summary:Are you feeling a sense of unrest despite your seemingly "successful" life? Heather England explores how midlife is a pivotal time for women to reconnect with themselves, challenge societal expectations, and make meaningful changes without the need for crisis or upheaval. In this episode: How common midlife feelings of dissatisfaction are rooted in a natural psychological stage, not failureThe concept of generativity versus stagnation from Erik Erikson’s developmental theoryWhy the "midlife crisis" is a misnomer and what a true "reckoning" actually entailsThe signs of a midlife awakening: questioning accomplishments, body changes, and the meaning of lifeHeather’s personal journey from success-driven corporate career to fulfilled psychotherapistHow shifting from achievement to authenticity can improve relationships and overall happinessPractical questions to guide your reflection: “If I had five years left, what would I truly do?”Why embracing curiosity and self-compassion is crucial in this processSmall steps to start living aligned with your desires today rather than waiting for a crisis Connect with Dr. Heather England:WebsiteLinkedInSubstack (A Midlife Reckoning)WorkshopsResource PageSubmit a Podcast Topic ResourcesErik Erikson’s Stages of Psychosocial Development Time Stamps00:00 - Understanding the deeply personal nature of midlife feelings 00:20 - Who is Heather England and what this podcast offers 00:51 - Common midlife feelings of something being off 01:20 - What is a midlife reckoning and how it differs from a crisis 01:50 - Overview of Erik Erickson’s stages of human development 02:18 - Explaining generativity versus stagnation in midlife 02:48 - How midlife questions reflect the psyche asking if this is it 03:19 - The influence of over-functioning and "shoulding" women in midlife 03:47 - The impact of children leaving, careers plateauing, and relationships shifting 04:31 - Personal reflections on Heather’s own awakening process 05:02 - Recognizing slow accumulation of questions about life fulfillment 05:31 - How success initially felt but lacked true fulfillment 06:30 - Heather’s return to school at age 49 and embracing lifelong learning 07:52 - The importance of authentic life connection and self-acceptance 08:47 - How ceding to societal images of perfection is unsustainable 09:16 - The power of showing up as your authentic self 09:43 - Women exhausted from societal expectations and their awakening 10:38 - The illusion of effortless perfection perpetuated by social media 11:05 - The system that pressures women but doesn’t nourish them 11:35 - Recognizing the midlife awakening as clarity, not failure 12:04 - Erickson's drive for generativity as part of natural aging 12:33 - Outgrowing old strategies that no longer serve us 13:03 - Imagining the last five years of your life and living intentionally 13:32 - Actions that align with your deepest desires now 14:01 - The importance of asking: “What do I want?” 14:27 - Taking small, deliberate steps toward the life you desire 14:56 - Giving yourself permission to explore, even if messy 15:24 - Redefining success based on personal truth, not societal expectations 15:42 - Closing thoughts and encouragement to start your own reckoning 16:09 - A reminder that the podcast is for educational purposes 16:36 - Seeking professional support when needed Note: Remember, this podcast is educational and not medical or therapeutic advice. Seek professional guidance if needed to support your personal journey.

    17 min

  6. APR 6

    The Great Sex Podcast is Becoming Midlife Unfiltered

    Introducing Midlife Unfiltered In this episode, Dr. Heather England shares the vision behind the relaunch of her podcast, now called Midlife Unfiltered. She discusses the importance of honest conversations about midlife women’s experiences, especially around relationships, identity, and purpose, aiming to create a supportive space for those navigating this complex life stage. Connect with Dr. Heather England:WebsiteLinkedInSubstack (A Midlife Reckoning)WorkshopsResource PageSubmit a Podcast TopicReady to spice up your sex life? Get my guide “69 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life”

    2 min

  7. MAR 2

    39: Erectile Dysfunction Series: The Hidden Triggers that Cause Your Erectile Dysfunction to Keep on a Keep'in On

    Summary:In this episode of The Great Sex Podcast, Dr. Heather England dives into the often-overlooked emotional and relational roots of erectile dysfunction (ED). Discover how stress, relationship dynamics, shame, and performance anxiety contribute to ED—and learn actionable insights to break the cycle and improve your sexual confidence. Resources & Links:Workshop on Mastering Performance AnxietyWorkshop for Female Partners of Men with ED Connect with Dr. Heather England:WebsiteLinkedInSubstack (A Midlife Reckoning)WorkshopsResource PageSubmit a Podcast TopicReady to spice up your sex life? Get my guide “69 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life” In this episode:Key topics covered:Overcoming Erectile Dysfunction: The Psychological and Relational Factors You Need to KnowKey Topics:The cyclical nature of psychological causes of ED and how they reinforce each otherThe critical role of emotional intimacy and communication in recoveryHow stress, depression, and life changes impact sexual performanceThe influence of shame and limiting beliefs about sexPerformance anxiety: how it develops and how to interrupt itThe dangers of avoidance behaviors and how to reframe intimacyPractical strategies: talking openly about ED, reducing secrecy, and seeking support Timestamps:00:00 - The story of Andy: understanding performance anxiety and ED cycle 02:05 - Physical causes of ED versus psychological and relational factors 03:01 - The impact of relationship quality, communication, and trust on ED 03:45 - How emotional withdrawal can worsen ED and the importance of emotional intimacy 04:26 - The role of conversations about sex in improving intimacy and ED recovery 05:22 - Stress as a major contributor to ED: work, financial, and family stressors 06:08 - The connection between depression and ED, and addressing mental health 07:05 - Life transitions and their effects on sexual functioning 07:59 - Sexual concerns such as low desire, premature ejaculation, and pain 08:28 - Shame, cultural beliefs, and secrecy: barriers to recovery 09:20 - The importance of open communication and empathy in reducing shame 09:52 - How limited sexual knowledge affects confidence and contributes to ED 10:17 - Avoidance behaviors and their reinforcement of ED cycles 11:02 - Performance anxiety: how anticipatory worries sabotage arousal 11:56 - The neurological process of anxiety and its impact on presence during sex 13:03 - Breaking the cycle: reassurance that ED symptoms are human, not failures 13:41 - The core message: connection and honest conversation as the keys to recovery 14:09 - Practical tips: talk openly, seek therapy, and foster emotional intimacy 14:30 - Final thoughts and encouragement to prioritize communication and support

    15 min

  8. MAR 2

    38. Erectile Dysfunction Series: The Many Medical Causes for Erectile Dysfunction

    Summary:In this episode of the Great Sex Podcast, Dr. Heather England explores the complex causes of erectile dysfunction (ED), emphasizing that it’s a medical condition with physical and psychological roots. She aims to dispel myths and empower men and their partners with knowledge and actionable steps to address ED effectively. Resources & Links:Workshop on Mastering Performance AnxietyWorkshop for Female Partners of Men with ED Connect with Dr. Heather England:WebsiteLinkedInSubstack (A Midlife Reckoning)WorkshopsResource PageSubmit a Podcast TopicReady to spice up your sex life? Get my guide “69 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life” In this episode:Key topics covered:The physical factors contributing to ED, including cardiovascular health, diabetes, obesity, medication side effects, and hormonal imbalancesHow lifestyle choices such as smoking, alcohol consumption, sleep quality, and fatigue influence erectile functionThe psychological cycle of performance anxiety and how physical causes can lead to long-term mental and emotional impactsThe importance of consulting healthcare providers for proper diagnosis, blood work, and early interventionPractical steps for lifestyle modifications and addressing emotional well-being to improve sexual health Timestamps:00:00 - Introduction: Real stories behind ED and what nobody tells you 00:30 - The physical causes of ED: exhaustion, high blood pressure, and more 01:27 - The significance of understanding ED as a medical and psychological condition 02:46 - The role of cardiovascular health in sexual performance 03:42 - How clogged arteries can be an early warning sign for heart problems 04:39 - The impact of diabetes on erectile function and the importance of blood sugar control 05:06 - Obesity's link to ED and the power of weight loss and activity 05:31 - Medications that can cause ED and the importance of consulting your doctor 05:58 - Tobacco use increases ED risk; quitting can restore vascular health 06:28 - Alcohol's depressant effects on arousal and testosterone levels 07:00 - Low testosterone’s impact on erections and overall health 07:41 - Sleep apnea as an underdiagnosed contributor to ED 08:15 - Fatigue and exhaustion as significant yet often overlooked causes 09:01 - Neurological conditions, prostate treatments, Peyronie’s disease, and other medical factors 10:37 - The cycle of physical and psychological causes, and how worry perpetuates ED 11:05 - Practical advice: get medical testing, lifestyle changes, and emotional support 12:22 - The importance of addressing both physical and psychological factors for recovery 13:10 - Success story: Dan’s journey to overcoming ED through medical care and lifestyle adjustments 13:47 - Closing remarks: hope, support, and creating fulfilling sexual relationships

    14 min
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About

Dr. Heather England shares the real truth about midlife intimacy, love, and relationships. Together, we’ll explore these and other midlife topics, and empower you to create a life filled with meaning! This information is intended for educational and informational purposes only and is meant for your personal use to help enhance your life, your relationships, and your sexual intimacy. It is not intended to serve as psychotherapy/counseling and should never be a substitute for medical advice. This information is to be used at your own risk based on your own judgment.

Information

  • Creator
    Heather England
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    46
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2026 Heather England
  • Show Website
    Midlife Unfiltered