Midlifing

Lee Miller and Simon Ellis

Two friends Lee and Simon have serious conversations about silly things, and silly conversations about serious things. Together they dig into the pleasures, absurdities and imperfections of being human.

  1. 24 jun

    290: Working In The Greyzone With Greyzone Drinkers

    Send us Fan Mail Simon and Lee are joined by Kate Bee, founder of The Sober School, for a conversation that opens with the rock-bottom mythology of AA before sliding into personal history: Lee traces his unusual relationship with drink back to growing up in a pub in the mid-80s, and on through the British ladette culture he lived through at university in the 90s, complete with Zoe Ball and Bacardi Breezers. Kate maps the particular shame attached to women's drinking, drawing the three of them into a digression on Julia Kristeva's abject and the quietly respectable, middle-class drinkers no news report ever pictures, with Simon noting how his wife Lil's brush with an alcohol-tracking app in Italy preceded Kate's email by mere days. The episode closes on what Kate found to replace alcohol's pleasure once she gave it up: smaller gatherings, an early exit, and the relief of just being herself the next morning. Mentioned The Sober School – sobriety support for women who don't want AA or rehab, founded by the episode's guest, Kate Bee, ten years ago out of her own experience quitting drinking"Take Your Time" – Nirvana; song that prompts a singalong at the top of the episodeAlcoholics Anonymous (AA) – raised as a model of recovery that doesn't suit everyone; its rock-bottom narrative and "anonymous" framing discussed as barriers for someZoe Ball – British TV and radio presenter; cited as an exemplar of 90s British ladette culture, noted as now soberThe Spice Girls – pop group raised as a possible comparison to ladette culture, then dismissed as not quite fittingBacardi Breezers – alcopop brand discussed as a 90s drinks-industry product aimed at womenJulia Kristeva – French feminist philosopher; her concept of "the abject" used to discuss the language ("messy," "sloppy") applied to women's drinkingJoe Rogan – podcast host referenced jokingly as a contrast to this podcast's toneGet in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. --- The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

    27 min
  2. 17 jun

    289: Nothing Has Rocked My World Like the Walkman

    Send us Fan Mail Lee gets back from a holiday in Lisbon – computerless, app-deleted, and topped up with regular visits to a masseur who is also, confusingly, named Simon – while back home Simon is locked in a slow-motion battle with a magpie raiding his bird feeder. The conversation moves from what counts as a real holiday (a "leaky bucket list" versus a hammock and an endless cycle of naps and swims) into a nostalgic detour through the Walkman, suitcase-sized mobile phones, and post restante, tracing how mobile data quietly took over the time email used to take to find you. Mentioned The Omen (1976 film) – referenced for its scene of a journalist's eyes being pecked out by crows, raised during a riff on how clever and vindictive crows can beJeff Bezos – invoked in a bit imagining him ("Jeff Birdsos") running a conspiracy to push magpies onto bird feeders so seed prices riseSteve Jobs – cited as the figure behind the iPhone's "revolution product" (2007), framed as less transformative for holiday habits than the later rise of cheap mobile dataPoste restante – historical postal system letting travellers collect mail abroad; recalled fondly as the highlight of pre-internet travel at 22Sony Walkman – portable cassette player; held up as the single device that changed everything more than the smartphone ever did, prompting a dive into how many models and headphone setups were used over the yearsGet Smart (TV show) – referenced via its shoe-phone gadget, recalled alongside memories of a family friend's brick-sized suitcase mobile phone in the 1980sGet in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. --- The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

    27 min
  3. 3 jun

    287: What Would I Need Protecting From?

    Send us Fan Mail Back from his travels and biking to work in Coventry, Simon clocks two encounters with men radiating pure confrontational energy – and wonders aloud what it must cost to move through the world that way. The conversation rolls into territory neither of them usually treads: class, inherited masculinity, and whether any of us really choose who we become. Along the way, Lee recalls a boy on the bonnet of a Capri saying "Miller" with such effortless swagger that six-year-old him wanted to be that person on the spot – and a woman's answer to the question "who would protect you?" lands like a wriggly thing under an upturned rock. Mentioned Zebra crossing – the UK term for a black-and-white striped pedestrian crossing; the setting for Simon's two confrontational encounters that open the episodeFord Capri – long-nosed British sports car from the 1970s and 80s; Lee recalls sitting on the bonnet of one as a child when a boy walked past and addressed him by his last name with striking swaggerRough Guide (TV series) – late-80s/90s travel and youth culture magazine show; referenced when trying to place the era of a viral clip about men and protectionNaples / Napoli – Simon spent six weeks there; he recalls young boys walking deliberately into his path as a kind of confrontational test, contrasting it with the encounter back in CoventryNew Zealand – Simon grew up there; notes that the kind of masculine confrontation they're discussing isn't unique to the UKJefrey Miller – Lee's dog (one F in Jefrey); cited as an example of animal threat-response: snapped at by a spaniel he knows well, he barked back immediately, then moved on without residueGet in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. --- The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

    29 min
  4. 20 may

    285: The Thing That Sounds Like It Knows What It's Doing

    Send us Fan Mail A Devo earworm at a Sardinian birthday party is the unlikely start of a conversation about what expertise actually is. Lee draws on Collins and Evans's distinction between interactional and contributory expertise, and the two probe whether AI is simply the pinnacle of sounding like it knows what it's doing, and what that means for the hours both of them have put into embodied practices. Simon ends up confessing to late-night vibe coding, somewhere in the murky territory between hating it and loving it. Mentioned Devo's "Whip It" (1980) – new wave song; came up when a community group with the acronym WIP sparked a group singalong at a birthday party in SardegnaWIP – community organisation in Sardegna; the acronym's unusual capitalisation convention (only the first letter uppercase) became a topic in itselfUK Government White Paper on Post-16 Skills – published by DSIT in November; prompted reflection on what specialism and expertise mean in the age of AIRethinking Expertise (Harry Collins and Robert Evans) – academic book introducing the distinction between interactional expertise (talking the talk) and contributory expertise (advancing a field through practice)Malcolm Gladwell / 10,000 hours – the idea that mastery requires 10,000 hours of deliberate practice; cited and gently questionedLord of the Flies (William Golding) – briefly referenced as a comic false attribution when trying to recall Gladwell's nameVibe coding – AI-assisted web development; tried late one night building an interactive front page, with mixed feelings about itClaude – AI assistant; mentioned as the tool used for writing template-heavy applicationsGet in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. --- The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

    26 min
  5. 13 may

    284: Loitering With Intent

    Send us Fan Mail Simon is recording from Sassari, where the barn doors have just gone in and the pace of life feels unrecognisably slow. A conversation about loitering with intent – a legal phrase that turns out to be untranslatable into Portuguese – opens into a wide-ranging examination of third spaces, billionaires, and the frictionlessness of modern commerce: what the UK has lost, and why. Lee's account of an unplanned evening in Lisbon, ending with the three of them eavesdropping on an orchestra rehearsing through a church door, becomes the episode's counterpoint and its argument: that the best days are the ones that just keep opening. Mentioned Sassari – city in Sardinia; Simon is recording from there mid-renovation on a place he has in the cityMinority Report – Tom Cruise film involving pre-crime; cited as the logical endpoint of loitering with intent as a thought crimeCocktail – Tom Cruise film initially named instead of Minority Report; the mix-up launches a long digressionBryan Brown – Australian actor who appeared in Cocktail with Tom Cruise; his character's fate in the film briefly discussedRichard Chamberlain – actor; mentioned in connection with Cocktail and then The Thorn Birds and ShogunThe Thorn Birds – TV miniseries; Richard Chamberlain connection discussedShogun – TV miniseries; Richard Chamberlain confirmed as lead [?] – transcript garbled hereDoctor Kildare – TV series; Richard Chamberlain's earlier role, mentioned in passingJason Bourne / The Bourne series – Matt Damon spy franchise; invoked as another example of a character who wakes without his memory [?] – conversation unclear on whether the Bourne / Chamberlain thread was resolvedTilted Arc – Richard Serra sculpture [transcript says "Richard Sarah"] installed in Federal Plaza, New York; designed to bifurcate the plaza and force pedestrians around it; cited as an example of productive friction in public spaceRichard Sennett – writer and sociologist; invoked for his writing on friction in urban spaces and city lifeToo Good To Go – food waste app; compared between Coventry (mostly chain confectionery) and Sassari (independent grocers and green goods)Lievetta – artisan bakery in Sassari; slow-fermented, whole-grain bread; discussed as a surprising success in a city used to plainer loavesKeir Starmer – mentioned briefly as the kind of figure who has a public life in the institutional sensePink Street – famous nightclub street in Lisbon; described as culturally hollowed out after the last Portuguese-owned venue closedLucas – cocktail maker at a Lisbon bar; produced Japanese plum hooch from under the counter for an impromptu drink [last name unknown]Gilles – owner of a Lisbon restaurant serving Cabo Verdean cuisine through a Portuguese lens; met during the same unplanned eveningCabo Verde / Cape Verdean cuisine – the culinary tradition of Gilles's restaurant; described as African food filtered through Portuguese flavoursGet in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net. --- The Midlifing logo is adapted from an original image by H.L.I.T: https://www.flickr.com/photos/29311691@N05/8571921679 (CC BY 2.0)

    29 min

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Two friends Lee and Simon have serious conversations about silly things, and silly conversations about serious things. Together they dig into the pleasures, absurdities and imperfections of being human.

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