Mind Your P's and Q's

Abbie Godles

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Society & Culture
Updated Biweekly

Attorney Abbie Godles shares helpful information and practical tips on navigating Arizona divorce and custody, offering insight on out-of-court solutions and litigation. New episodes release odd Wednesdays at 10 am on all your favorite platforms. mymm.substack.com

12/17/2025

Ep. 83 - Why “Fair” Beats “Victory” Every Time

When your marriage is ending, your gut says “I want to win.” But here’s the truth: chasing victory in family court will cost you tens of thousands of dollars, years of your life, and your kids’ peace of mind—all to get roughly the same outcome you could’ve reached in mediation. In this episode, I’m breaking down why “fair” isn’t about being nice to your ex—it’s about saving your money, your sanity, and your future. Fair doesn’t feel as good as winning, but it’s the only thing that actually works. -- Newsletter: https://mymm.substack.com/ Website: www.modernlegalsolutions.com Instagram: @modernlegalsolutions Facebook: www.facebook.com/mindyourmannersmediation/ LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/mind-your-manners-mediation -- Credits Intro and Outro Music: “Motivational Day” by AudioCoffee, available under the Pixabay License Recording and Editing Software: Audacity® software is copyright © 1999-2021 Audacity Team. The name Audacity® is a registered trademark. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mymm.substack.com
12/03/2025

Ep. 82 - The Cost of Being Right

When you’ve been wronged, you want vindication—you want someone to declare you were right and they were wrong. But being right in family law is expensive as hell: it costs you tens of thousands of dollars, years of your life, damage to your kids and your co-parenting relationship, and your ability to move forward. In this episode, I’m breaking down what “being right” behavior actually looks like (relitigating the past, fighting on principle, proving who’s the better parent), what it really costs in money and sanity, and when standing your ground actually matters versus when you’re just setting money on fire to feed your ego -- Newsletter: https://mymm.substack.com/ Website: www.modernlegalsolutions.com Instagram: @modernlegalsolutions Facebook: www.facebook.com/mindyourmannersmediation/ LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/mind-your-manners-mediation -- Credits Intro and Outro Music: “Motivational Day” by AudioCoffee, available under the Pixabay License Recording and Editing Software: Audacity® software is copyright © 1999-2021 Audacity Team. The name Audacity® is a registered trademark. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mymm.substack.com
11/19/2025

Ep. 81 - Mediation Requires Equal Participation

In the last episode, we talked about why you’re not a “we” anymore—today, we’re building on that with a hard truth: mediation requires equal participation from both people, and if one person won’t engage, mediation fails. I’m breaking down what equal participation actually means, the red flags that tell me someone’s not really committed (no-shows, incomplete homework, one person dragging a resistant partner along), and why I won’t chase you or let one person carry the entire process. This isn’t me being harsh—this is just how mediation works, and I’d rather be honest upfront than take your money knowing it won’t succeed. -- Newsletter: https://mymm.substack.com/ Website: www.modernlegalsolutions.com Instagram: @modernlegalsolutions Facebook: www.facebook.com/mindyourmannersmediation/ LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/mind-your-manners-mediation -- Credits Intro and Outro Music: “Motivational Day” by AudioCoffee, available under the Pixabay License Recording and Editing Software: Audacity® software is copyright © 1999-2021 Audacity Team. The name Audacity® is a registered trademark. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mymm.substack.com
11/05/2025

Ep. 80 - You're Not a “We” Anymore

When couples come to me for mediation, I hear a lot of “we” language: “We want to do this amicably,” “We’ve already decided,” “We’re on the same page.” But here’s the hard truth—if you’re getting divorced, you’re not a “we” anymore. You’re two separate people with separate interests, and pretending otherwise doesn’t make mediation easier, it makes it impossible. In this episode, I’m breaking down why letting go of “we” is one of the hardest but most essential shifts you need to make, what “we” behavior actually looks like (and why it’s a red flag), and why mediation can only work when both people can advocate for themselves as individuals. -- Newsletter: https://mymm.substack.com/ Website: www.modernlegalsolutions.com Instagram: @modernlegalsolutions Facebook: www.facebook.com/mindyourmannersmediation/ LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/mind-your-manners-mediation -- Credits Intro and Outro Music: “Motivational Day” by AudioCoffee, available under the Pixabay License Recording and Editing Software: Audacity® software is copyright © 1999-2021 Audacity Team. The name Audacity® is a registered trademark. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mymm.substack.com
10/29/2025

Ep. 79 - Co-Parenting After DV

Co-parenting with someone who was abusive to you requires different strategies than typical co-parenting. In this episode, I break down practical communication strategies, how to choose the right communication medium, what messages to respond to versus ignore, and how to set and enforce boundaries around timing and access. I also cover red flags that co-parenting may not be safe and what alternative options you have. You’ll leave with concrete tools to communicate only what’s necessary while protecting your mental health and safety. -- Previous Episodes Mentioned Ep. 21 - Parenting Plans in Cases Involving Domestic Violence - https://mymm.substack.com/p/ep-21-parenting-plans-in-cases-involving-e1a Ep. 42 - Parallel Parenting - https://mymm.substack.com/p/ep-42-parallel-parenting -- Newsletter: https://mymm.substack.com/ Website: www.modernlegalsolutions.com Instagram: @modernlegalsolutions Facebook: www.facebook.com/mindyourmannersmediation/ LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/mind-your-manners-mediation -- Credits Intro and Outro Music: “Motivational Day” by AudioCoffee, available under the Pixabay License Recording and Editing Software: Audacity® software is copyright © 1999-2021 Audacity Team. The name Audacity® is a registered trademark. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mymm.substack.com
10/15/2025

Ep. 78 - Tech-Facilitated Abuse

Technology-facilitated domestic violence is when abusers use technology to harass, stalk, monitor, intimidate, or control current or former intimate partners. In this episode, I break down what tech abuse actually looks like and walk you through practical safety steps you can take right now. I also explain your legal options here in Arizona. You’ll leave with clarity on how to recognize tech abuse, protect yourself, and understand the legal remedies available to you. -- Previous Episodes Mentioned Ep. 7 - Legal Fundamental - Orders of Protection - https://mymm.substack.com/p/ep-7-legal-fundamental-orders-of-c62 Ep. 77 - Navigating DV and AI - https://mymm.substack.com/p/ep-77-navigating-dv-and-ai -- Statutes Mentioned A.R.S. § 13-2915 Preventing use of telephone in emergency; false representation of emergency; classification; definitions - https://www.azleg.gov/viewdocument/?docName=https://www.azleg.gov/ars/13/02915.htm A.R.S. § 13-2916 Use of an electronic communication to terrify, intimidate, threaten or harass; unlawful use of electronic communication device; applicability; classification; definitions - https://www.azleg.gov/viewdocument/?docName=https://www.azleg.gov/ars/13/02916.htm A.R.S. § 13-2923 Stalking; classification; exceptions; definitions - https://www.azleg.gov/viewdocument/?docName=https://www.azleg.gov/ars/13/02923.htm A.R.S. § 13-3019 Surreptitious photographing, videotaping, filming or digitally recording or viewing; exemptions; classification; definitions - https://www.azleg.gov/viewdocument/?docName=https://www.azleg.gov/ars/13/03019.htm -- Resources (non-exhaustive list) National DV Hotline - 1‑800‑799‑SAFE, text “START” to 88788, or thehotline.org Safety Net - www.techsafety.org Refuge Tech Safety - refugetechsafety.org Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence - acesdv.org, 602-279-2980 or 800-782-6400, Arizona Relay Service 7-1-1, info@acesdv.org -- Newsletter: https://mymm.substack.com/ Website: www.modernlegalsolutions.com Instagram: @modernlegalsolutions Facebook: www.facebook.com/mindyourmannersmediation/ LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/mind-your-manners-mediation -- Credits Intro and Outro Music: “Motivational Day” by AudioCoffee, available under the Pixabay License Recording and Editing Software: Audacity® software is copyright © 1999-2021 Audacity Team. The name Audacity® is a registered trademark. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mymm.substack.com
10/01/2025

Ep. 77 - Navigating DV and AI

AI can help name abuse patterns, but it can also create digital risks. In this episode, I explain what’s safe to ask a chatbot, what to never upload, and how to use survivor‑focused tools like Aimee Says thoughtfully. I discuss how these tools can support reflection without replacing confidential help and leave you with clear, practical steps you can use today. -- Links Mentioned Aimee Says - https://www.aimeesays.com/en/home -- Resources (non-exhaustive list) National DV Hotline - 1‑800‑799‑SAFE, text "START" to 88788, or thehotline.org Safety Net - www.techsafety.org Refuge Tech Safety - refugetechsafety.org -- Newsletter: Website: www.modernlegalsolutions.com Instagram: @modernlegalsolutions Facebook: www.facebook.com/mindyourmannersmediation/ LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/mind-your-manners-mediation -- Credits Intro and Outro Music: “Motivational Day” by AudioCoffee, available under the Pixabay License Recording and Editing Software: Audacity® software is copyright © 1999-2021 Audacity Team. The name Audacity® is a registered trademark. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mymm.substack.com
09/17/2025

Ep. 76 - Legal Fundamental - 2025 Spousal Maintenance Updates

Arizona’s 2025 Spousal Maintenance updates are here. In this episode, I break down the effective date, what changed to the guidelines, and the associated changes to the calculator. I also touch on what these shifts mean for planning under the revised framework. -- Links Mentioned Spousal Maintenance Guidelines - https://www.azcourts.gov/familylaw/Child-Support-Family-Law-Information/Spousal-Maintenance-Guidelines -- Previous Episodes Mentioned Ep. 29 - Legal Fundamental - NEW Spousal Maintenance Calculator -- Newsletter: https://mymm.substack.com/ Website: www.modernlegalsolutions.com Instagram: @modernlegalsolutions Facebook: www.facebook.com/mindyourmannersmediation/ LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/mind-your-manners-mediation -- Credits Intro and Outro Music: “Motivational Day” by AudioCoffee, available under the Pixabay License Recording and Editing Software: Audacity® software is copyright © 1999-2021 Audacity Team. The name Audacity® is a registered trademark. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mymm.substack.com

Attorney Abbie Godles shares helpful information and practical tips on navigating Arizona divorce and custody, offering insight on out-of-court solutions and litigation. New episodes release odd Wednesdays at 10 am on all your favorite platforms. mymm.substack.com

Creator

Abbie Godles
Years Active

2022 - 2025
Episodes

85
Rating

Clean
Copyright

© Abbie Godles
Show Website

Mind Your P's and Q's