Monster Crush

Monster Crush
  • 5.0 (14)
  • COMEDY

Dating can be hard - especially when your date is the legendary Bigfoot! Where do you take a guy like that? More importantly, where do you find a guy like that? You're in luck because our crypto-woo-ologists have a binder full of suitable candidates ready for one hell of a good time. Whether or not our bait survives is up to them. Who says love isn't without a few risks? See all of Monster Crush's links on https://linktr.ee/monstercrush We are a member of the Sword & Key Network, see all of S&K's links on beacons.ai/swordandkey

  1. 7H AGO

    Date 120 - In the March of Madness 2026, The GOO Conference (Pt.2)

    IN THE MARCH OF MADNESS 2026 CONTINUES! Sixteen entities from Lovecraftian Horror fight tooth and tentacle for your affections. Who will win the finals… and our hearts?For this episode we finish the GOO (Great Old Ones) Conference featuring: Shterot, Atlach-Nacha, Rhogog, Byatis, Hziulquoigmnzha, Chaugnar Faugn, Bugg-Shash, and Nyarlathotep. And as we finish the GOO Conference, we also finish our overall bracket and pick our winner for the year!Grab your own bracket on our socials (Bluesky and IG) or on the Sword & Key Discord and play along at home! Featuring: recording on Friday the 13th feels fitting - Spooky News: suspicious missing US Govt’ UFO expert, a buncha Bigfoots in Ohio - LD’s review of Tusk Love - a giant starfish vs. a giant spider, how to pronounce “geas”, cyclops tree vs. cyclops toad, tentacles that will get you rock hard, eldritch “debate me” bros, transformative sucking, “the filler of space and he who comes in the dark” are some real titles, golden eyes make a difference, AND MORE! CW: Missing person/potential US government coverup/mentions of Covid and the current presidential administration (6:55-14:10), monster that takes away autonomy by mind control (28:00-30:30), spiders (30:30-36:40), reference to fictional SA (49:00-49:40) We are proud to be a part of the Sword & Key Network - beacons.ai/swordandkey. Our music is by the handsome and talented Nick Lambert. Find him on Instagram @lambertropolis. All other music and sounds are licensed through Epidemic Sounds. Use code THELADYDAME for 10% off of your order from Friday Afternoon Tea - https://www.fridaytea.com - we suggest the Smut-Tea and/or the Sword & Tea

    1h 24m

  2. MAR 2

    Date 119 - In the March of Madness 2026, The BOG Conference (Pt.1)

    IN THE MARCH OF MADNESS IS BACK! It’s our third year playing this bracket-style game of love. Sixteen entities from Lovecraftian Horror fight tooth and tentacle for your affections. Who will win the finals… and our hearts? This week we take on the BOG (Beings and Outer Gods) Conference featuring: Blackness from the Stars, Shabbith-Ka, Mother of Pus, Lu-Kthu, Daoloth, Kthanid, Fthaggua, and Mh’Ithra. Grab your own bracket on our socials (Bluesky and IG) or on the Sword & Key Discord and play along at home! Featuring: We are sponsored by F*** H.P. Lovecraft - Spooky News: 30 Years of Pokémon, New Unicorn Spinosaur Just Dropped, Disclosure (I guess) - a little dive into monster cliterature - Cthulhu is a sub - void blob that doesn’t talk vs. purple blob that sings - MILF (Mother I’d Like to Fhtagn) fight - Cthulhu’s good twin brother - fire vampires and invisible werewolves -  AND MORE! CW: mentions of “madness” and “insanity” as it appears in eldritch/cosmic horror throughout, brief mention of H.P. Lovecraft’s bigotry (2:12-2:40), current events including presidential crimes (19:00-20:00), reference to the concept of orcs being stand-in for racist stereotypes (22:30-23:00) We are proud to be a part of the Sword & Key Network - beacons.ai/swordandkey. Our music is by the handsome and talented Nick Lambert. Find him on Instagram @lambertropolis. All other music and sounds are licensed through Epidemic Sounds. Use code THELADYDAME for 10% off of your order from Friday Afternoon Tea - https://www.fridaytea.com - we suggest the Smut-Tea and/or the Sword & Tea

    1h 18m

  3. FEB 17

    Date 118 - Eat Your Heart Out… Again

    Happy Valentines Day… or close enough to it. For us at Monster Crush, it’s always the perfect day to celebrate love in all of its weirdly beautiful forms. But, for this amorous time of year we bring you two monsters you can really give you heart to, because that’s what they eat! Prepare yourself for two chimeric monsters with a taste for cardiac cuisine with the predatory Peryton and Ammit, the Devourer of the Dead! Featuring: Grease the Musical but with monsters - Spooky News: a new cozy video game about feeding cryptids with your eldritch oven, butt bombs, Obama confirms the existence of extraterrestrials, your odds of being abducted by UFOs/UAPs based on where you live - shifting shadows - Elf hearts taste bad - half hippo/half crocodile/half lion, all goddess - open book tests in the afterlife - sometimes ‘girl dinner’ is eating the hearts of the damned - AND MORE! CW: WWI munitions used as a sex toy (13:00-14:20), mentions of modern politics and crimes of politicians (16:15-16:25), Christian mythology and Christian hell (56:30-57:50), mentions of monsters eating humans/human hearts throughout We are proud to be a part of the Sword & Key Network - beacons.ai/swordandkey. Our music is by the handsome and talented Nick Lambert. Find him on Instagram @lambertropolis. All other music and sounds are licensed through Epidemic Sounds.

    1h 15m

  4. FEB 3

    Date 117 - Facial Your (D&D) Demons Pt. 2

    We hope you didn’t fill up on Demon Princes last time because for this episode we give you another heaping helping. Join us as we round out the last FIVE Demon Princes of Dungeons & Dragons’ Forgotten Realms with the hedonistic Graz’zt, slimy Juiblex, deceptive Fraz-Urb'luu, insufferable Kostchtchie, and alluring Malcanthet! Strap on, strap in, and get ready for another plunge into the Abyss! Featuring: We are here to warm things up on these chilly days, a visit to the Smut Corner: appreciation for 3rd person narratives, amnesiac slayers, space vampires, and a little somnophilia - Spooky News: a new/prehistoric form of life (that looks like a penis), the Leviathan is awake, Dorito UAP spotted over Area 51, and the Seattle Kraken won back the Cryptid Cup - Deep Blue Sea slashfic, breast milk flavors of the Forgotten Realms courtesy of Ed Greenwood, the only sin is moderation, total slime control, the incel of demon princes, the queen of succubi, AND MORE! CW: winter storm/Christian mythology/conspiracy theories (31:00-35:00), lack of autonomy through magic (56:00-57:00), misogynistic fictional character (1:35:00-1:43:30) We are proud to be a part of the Sword & Key Network - beacons.ai/swordandkey. Our music is by the handsome and talented Nick Lambert. Find him on Instagram @lambertropolis. All other music and sounds are licensed through Epidemic Sounds.

    1h 59m

  5. JAN 20

    Date 116 - Facial Your (D&D) Demons Pt. 1

    For all the hype that Stranger Things has given to D&D, people now know what a Demogorgon is… or do they? For this date we get even Strangerer with some of the OG D&D Things, namely D&D Demon Princes so we can tell you what the Demogorgon really is! And this is only part 1! So get ready to plunge into the Abyss with the nightmarish Demogorgon, rotting Orcus, bestial Baphomet, feral Yeenoghu, and fungal Zuggtmoy! Featuring: We are at least aware of Stranger Things - Spooky News: The Cryptid Cup of the NHL, Passing of Erich von Däniken (author of Chariot of the Gods), UK advised to prepare for financial collapse in case of extraterrestrials, UFOs almost launched nuclear weapons in the 80s - vampiric manta rays, two baboon heads who can’t agree, Orcus is (not surprisingly) an edgelord, demonic taint spreading, Yeenoghu may not be your demon but he’s the demon who stepped up, even demons have roommates, horrifying lullabies, AND MORE! CW: real person death (12:30-15:55), ancient alien implied racism (13:45-15:55), nuclear war (18:30-21:00), harm to animals (1:07:00-1:08:00),  - mentions of demonic entities, brief allusions to Christianity, undead, rot, necrosis, fungal horror, and slavery as it appears in fantasy settings appear sporadically throughout We are proud to be a part of the Sword & Key Network - beacons.ai/swordandkey. Our music is by the handsome and talented Nick Lambert. Find him on Instagram @lambertropolis. All other music and sounds are licensed through Epidemic Sounds.

    1h 30m

  6. JAN 8

    Date 115 - A Pascagoula Elephantman Never Forgets

    For the New Year we look back on singletons we met once but never really got a chance at love. So for this date we pull the Pascagoula Elephantmen out of the stables for a little space seduction and alien abduction. Strap in and strap on because these ETs are out of this world. Featuring: we have rhythm (sort of) - New Years Resolutions - “Sliterature” - hot takes on orc romance novels - Spooky News: The International Cryptozoology Museum is moving, San Antonio Dogman Sightings, Bigfoot Bae - carrot-like protrusions - two bros chilling in a rowboat -  when the downstairs is the upstairs - AND MORE! CW: Spiders (4:05-5:30), discussion of fantasy stereotypes/racism (16:00-16:55), death from cancer (57:00-58:00), mentions of abduction/physical restriction related to extraterrestrials throughout We are proud to be a part of the Sword & Key Network - beacons.ai/swordandkey. Our music is by the handsome and talented Nick Lambert. Find him on Instagram @lambertropolis. All other music and sounds are licensed through Epidemic Sounds.

    1h 14m

  7. 12/24/2025

    Date 114 - Naughty or Nice Pt. 2

    Happy Holidays from all of us at Monster Crush! To celebrate this festive season we return to the Yule traditions of ol for a couple monsters that are naughty, nice, and everything in between. So jingle your bells and wrap your present for the Mari Lwyd and Grýla the Christmas Witch. Plus a few bonus monsters including The Yule Cat! Featuring: who would Zooey Deschanel play in The Lion King? - you can’t lowkey Les Mis someone - F**k, Merry, Exorcise the ghosts from A Christmas Carol - The Feast of the Ass - watch out for Sausage Swiper and Window Peeper - capitalist incentives to avoid being eaten by a cat - Stubby the Yule Lad - AND MORE!  CW: Mentions of Christianity and Christian influences on history throughout, mention of the historical use of blackface (24:20-25:10), harm to children in folklore (43:10-1:10:15) We are proud to be a part of the Sword & Key Network - beacons.ai/swordandkey. Our music is by the handsome and talented Nick Lambert. Find him on Instagram @lambertropolis. All other music and sounds are licensed through Epidemic Sounds.

    1h 17m

  8. 12/10/2025

    Date 113 - Naughty or Nice Pt. 1

    For this holiday episode we have only one question for you… Naughty or Nice? Honestly, with monsters it really doesn’t matter which you pick because even the nice ones have a dark side. So wrap your present and stuff your stocking for the naughty Kallikantzaros and the nice Nisse! Featuring: Did we do a Krampus episode? Yes, yes we did - it’s really dark in the PNW - when you can’t count to three - throw pancakes on your roof - they’re just garden gnomes - minor cat-induced chaos - don’t put the butter on the bottom - harmless horse pranks - follow the rules, even when the rules change - a life goal is to be a sauna-spirit - AND MORE! CW: Mentions of Christianity (throughout the episode but starting at 11:30), some serious Christian religious trauma (24:30 - 25:30), harm to infants (25:30 - 26:10), mention of the history of bigotry against Romani (31:30 - 32:14), harm to domesticated animals (54:45 - 55:30), folkloric murder (56:45 - 57:30) We are proud to be a part of the Sword & Key Network - beacons.ai/swordandkey. Our music is by the handsome and talented Nick Lambert. Find him on Instagram @lambertropolis. All other music and sounds are licensed through Epidemic Sounds.

    1h 26m
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5
out of 5
14 Ratings

About

Dating can be hard - especially when your date is the legendary Bigfoot! Where do you take a guy like that? More importantly, where do you find a guy like that? You're in luck because our crypto-woo-ologists have a binder full of suitable candidates ready for one hell of a good time. Whether or not our bait survives is up to them. Who says love isn't without a few risks? See all of Monster Crush's links on https://linktr.ee/monstercrush We are a member of the Sword & Key Network, see all of S&K's links on beacons.ai/swordandkey

Information

  • Creator
    Monster Crush
  • Years Active
    2018 - 2026
  • Episodes
    124
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Monster Crush
  • Show Website
    Monster Crush