53 episodes

Dating can be hard - especially when your date is the legendary Bigfoot! Where do you take a guy like that? More importantly, where do you find a guy like that? You're in luck because our crypto-woo-ologists have a binder full of suitable candidates ready for one hell of a good time. Whether or not our bait survives is up to them. Who says love isn't without a few risks?

Monster Crush Monster Crush

    • Comedy
    • 5.0 • 13 Ratings

Dating can be hard - especially when your date is the legendary Bigfoot! Where do you take a guy like that? More importantly, where do you find a guy like that? You're in luck because our crypto-woo-ologists have a binder full of suitable candidates ready for one hell of a good time. Whether or not our bait survives is up to them. Who says love isn't without a few risks?

    Date 50 - Monster Smooching as Praxis

    Date 50 - Monster Smooching as Praxis

    IT’S OUR 50th EPISODE!! To celebrate, we put together a very special episode, unlike anything we’ve done before. Heaven-Leigh provides a comprehensive look at critical aspects of Donna Haraway’s work and then connects it somehow to monster smooching? From there, Derek is presented with a horrifying glimpse into humanity’s future. This may be our most educational episode yet!

    CW: mentions of racism, sexism, transphobia, genitalia, body horror, climate catastrophe. Featuring: Fungal Zombies; A Cyborg Manifesto; Staying with the Trouble; Nightmare Dr. Seuss; Leave Matt Damon in Space; Foot Perverts; The Future is Crab; Abject Horror; Utility Belts; Putting the DICK in DIXON; Meaty Tic Tacs.

    Thanks to our super producer, Richard, and Nick Lambert, who created our theme song. Find him on Instagram @lambertropolis.

    • 2 hr 8 min
    Date 49 - Out With the Old, in With the New

    Date 49 - Out With the Old, in With the New

    You can cut all the flowers, but you can’t keep Spring from coming! It’s time to throw open the windows, beat that old rug, and pay tribute to the naked little man who lives under your floorboards. Normal stuff! This week, Heaven-Leigh presents Derek with a selection of singletons that have already moved in and are busy judging how many dishes there are in the sink. 

    CW: climate change, dieting, death, childbirth, mention of genitalia. Featuring: Spring Cleaning Rituals; Roombas; S****y Roommates; Little Big Boys; Derek’s Haunted House; Draw a Dick, You Coward; Color-Locked Shapeshifting; Go Naked To Your Favorite Game.

    Thanks to our super producer, Richard, and Nick Lambert, who created our theme song. Find him on Instagram @lambertropolis.


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    • 1 hr 19 min
    Monster Crush Bonus: I Roll to Smooch

    Monster Crush Bonus: I Roll to Smooch

    Get out your icosahedrons, it's a D&D bonus episode! Heaven-Leigh's schedule is busy these days so Derek decides to take special guest Kappa on a smoochable tour of the Forgotten Realms with a special selection of Dungeons & Dragons monsters. When Heaven-Leigh is away, the boys will slay (but in a sexy way)... Hey that all kinda rhymed! 

    CW: Violence, gaslighting, mind control, mentions of slavery, cannibalism, real-world religions

    Featuring: the return of fuckable numbers; what D&D class is best in bed; sea lion-sized fleas; monster glow-ups; Bill Nighy's voice can get it; the 3 F's of adventuring; Uncle Rick; Tiefling toe-beans; fantasy healthcare systems.


    You can find Kappa and his upcoming projects at: twitter.com/TheKappaChris and can donate directly at stopaapihate.org/ or through his upcoming streams on twitch.tv/friendswhorolldice and twitch.tv/thornydryad.

    Thanks to our super producer, Richard, and Nick Lambert, who created our theme song. Find him on Instagram @lambertropolis.


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    This episode is sponsored by
    · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

    • 1 hr 14 min
    Date 48 - King of Monsters and King of My Heart

    Date 48 - King of Monsters and King of My Heart

    Not up for debate: Godzilla's sex appeal. Up for debate: Which of his rivals is the hottest? This week, Derek breaks down some of Godzilla's sexiest foes. They're big, they're horrifying, and they're ready to destroy a city as a testament to their love!

    CW: human trafficking mention, nuclear weapons and devastation, eco-fascism. Featuring: Weird Mic Troubles - Sorry!; NEW THEME SONG; Toledo Facts; Dinosaur News!; Gender Reveal Drama; Sleepy Hands; Kaiju v Giant Monster; Brain Butts and Buzzsaw Stomachs; World's Not-Best Dad; Teenage Rage.

    Thanks to our super producer, Richard, and Nick Lambert, who created our theme song. Find him on Instagram @lambertropolis.


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    This episode is sponsored by
    · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

    • 1 hr 27 min
    Date 47 - Women's Herstory Horror

    Date 47 - Women's Herstory Horror

    Since this episode was recorded in March, it counts as our official women's HERstory month episode. And what better way to celebrate women's accomplishments than by examining the lives (and deaths) of two famous murderers. ALLEGED murderers. ALLEGED vampire. ALLEGED witch. CONFIRMED grisly end at the hands of corrupt officials. 

    CW: torture, body horror, murder, bestiality, violence against animals. Featuring: Ye Olde Himbos; The Nitty Gritty of Blood Baths; Creative Ways to be Awful; Winning the Worst Lottery Ever; Meadow-ception; Neck Crimes; The Small Plaintive Cries of a Dog Who Gets Everything She Wants.

    Special thanks to our super producer, Richard, and Alexander Geiszler, who wrote our theme (Instagram: @churboje)


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    This episode is sponsored by
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    • 1 hr 8 min
    Date 46 - Aliens... Probably

    Date 46 - Aliens... Probably

    Listen, if your man is green, has an indecipherable accent, loves pogo sticks, and won't let you meet his family... that isn't your man, that's an alien. 

    CW: Abduction, thalassophobia, sharks, animal death, blood horror, gun violence. Featuring: a Baby on Mars; the Most F***able Number; Drake Equation; Glow Sharks; Derek's True Age; Alien Pogo Sticks; Jerry Bob the Gargoyle; Origin of 'Little Green Men;' Secret Post-Credits Scene.

    Special thanks to our super producer, Richard, and Alexander Geiszler, who wrote our theme (Instagram: @churboje)


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    This episode is sponsored by
    · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

    • 1 hr 16 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
13 Ratings

13 Ratings

Oki812 ,

Gettin Hot And Handsy

2 minutes into the latest episode and I’m checking shipping rates to Scotland so I can send Nessy a tub plug 😜. Hilarious, educational and downright fun.

Jillian of Midgard ,

Single and ready to flee in terror?

A really great podcast that gets better with every episode! Learn, grow, love & beware!

D Sword ,

Funny, informative, and a little horny

This show is so amazing. The jokes are funny, the hosts are engaging, and you’re guaranteed to learn something (sometimes it’s things you never wanted to know but oh well).
Take time and listen. You’ll be sure to laugh, learn, and love along with these hosts as they find some monstrous love.

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