My Psychedelic Roots

Amy Bartlett
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My Psychedelic Roots shares stories from people from a broad swath of lived experience to explore their psychedelic beginnings, or roots: what motivated them to start using psychedelics, what those early experiences were like, and how those roots have impacted their understanding of themselves and the world around them. My goal in these conversations is to give voice to the unique, transpersonal and human side of psychedelics and non-ordinary states of consciousness--- allowing guests to talk about their personal stories, not just their professional ones. I hope that listeners of the podcast will have an opportunity to gain insight into the lived reality of psychedelic experiencing (both the shadow and the light), hear about how people found their way into the psychedelic space, and to have an opportunity to get curious about the resonance, contrasts and connections between the podcast guests experience and their own psychedelic roots.

  1. FEB 4

    Ep23: Fear and bravery, discovering the sacred and honoring wisdom

    Anthony di Virgilio is a father, a registered psychotherapist and a student of sacred plant teachers. He is deeply interested in the connection between mental and emotional health, relational dynamics, and spirituality - and he integrates these perspectives into his therapeutic work, and we hear in our conversation together, he also integrates these into his own work with psychedelic medicines. Anthony also studies vitalist herbalism, Indigenous healing modalities, and principles of Traditional Chinese Medicine, and is a Fire Keeper and Song Carrier for Anishinaabe Elder Douglas Cardinal, and a humble student of North and South American Indigenous teachings and ceremonies. In our conversation together, Anthony and I talk about the fear, confusion and isolation he experienced as a child— and the bravery he worked to cultivate as he tried to make sense of a world that felt very unsafe in both the physical and spiritual realms. We talk about some of his first experiences with cannabis before eventually making his way towards his first psychedelic experience with ayahuasca 14 years ago--- a foundational relationship that continues to shape his life and practice today. Shownotes Holistic Psychotherapy, Anthony’s therapy practice website with his wife and associates: https://www.holisticpsychotherapy.ca/ Music credit: Music by Mass X Audio from Pixabay #psychedelics #podcast #tripreport

    41 min

  2. JAN 21

    Ep22: A gregarious childhood, a dark night of the soul, and explorations with set and setting to find safety and love

    Trigger Warning: discussions of suicidality Robert Décarie is a local certified Holotropic Breathwork facilitator, a former counselor and wildlife management specialist, and a delightful human being. As we explore in our conversation together, after having a gregarious but dissociated childhood in Montreal and experiencing a dark night of the soul in his early twenties, he pivoted to study environmental sciences (M.Sc.) and had a 25-year career in wildlife management. In the mid-2000s, he readjusted the course of his life to deepen its meaning and chose to study to become a counselor, and in 2008, he started practicing Holotropic Breathwork, eventually completing his training to become a certified facilitator which he has been offering to the Ottawa community since 2015. In our conversation together, we walk through several decades of psychedelic roots, from visiting Mexico in the 1970s, to experimenting with ayahuasca in a couple of different settings, to finally experiencing what he considers to be his first true psychedelic experience in a well-supported set and setting that allowed him to connect deeply with himself and to love. It was a pleasure to wend our way through Robert’s psychedelic roots, or what he calls his holotropic life! A reminder that this episode contains mentions of suicidality. This warning is meant to empower you with the knowledge you need to make healthy decisions about how and if you should consume this podcast content. We invite you to practice self-care and do what feels right for you. And if you need support, please connect with someone who can help: family and friends, professionals, or a crisis line. There are both Canadian and international recommendations in the show notes below. You are not alone-- not in your pain, nor in your healing. Shownotes Robert’s holotropic breathwork website: https://ottawaholotropic.ca/en/Favourite song from Sgt. Pepper album: A Day in the Life, but the entire album surging from nowhere, colorful, creative, joyful, and alive.First Carlos Castenada book read: A Separate RealityCurrent precious inner exploring and integration tool, Focusing (Eugene T. Gendlin, 1982, Bantam Books) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtYGnwwGzdA Below are some Canadian and international mental health resources to access if you are in distress or need support: Crisis Services Canada: https://988.ca/Befrienders Worldwide (crisis lines serving 32 countries): https://befrienders.org/International Directory of Mental Health Helplines: https://www.helpguide.org/find-help.htmThe Fireside Project (US-only psychedelic-specific support): https://firesideproject.org/Psychology Today (to find a therapist in North America): https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapists Music credit: Music by Mass X Audio from Pixabay #psychedelics #podcast #tripreport

    46 min

  3. JAN 1

    Ep21: Experiencing the beginnings of Western psychedelic research, and bridging the material and spiritual

    Trigger Warning: discussions of suicidal thoughts Dr. Paul Grof is a Canadian research psychiatrist and clinician who has been involved in psychedelic and transpersonal work for over six decades. He was a professor at several Canadian and European universities until recently retiring from the University of Toronto in 2022, and served as an Expert at the World Health Organization from 1985 to 2000, where he chaired the Committee on Psychotropic Substances. It was a pleasure to get to sit down with Paul to explore his roots: from growing up in the Czech Republic, to being part of the initial wave of people in Western society experimenting with LSD in research labs. In our conversation together, he takes us back to the 1950s and 60s and generously shares some of his experiences during those early days of Western psychedelic research--- and perhaps most importantly, about how he was so personally and professionally impacted by this unfolding. Shownotes Presentation on Paul's recently published paper "Consciousness: local and non-local" on Youtube: https://youtu.be/NKt36A0bKV8?si=dY8tqcDR2E6QC9gN _______ A reminder that this episode contains mentions of suicidal thoughts. This warning is meant to empower you with the knowledge you need to make healthy decisions about how and if you should consume this podcast content. We invite you to practice self-care and do what feels right for you. And if you need support, please connect with someone who can help: family and friends, professionals, or a crisis line. There are both Canadian and international recommendations in the show notes below. You are not alone-- not in your pain, nor in your healing. Below are some Canadian and international mental health resources to access if you are in distress or need support: Crisis Services Canada: https://988.ca/Befrienders Worldwide (crisis lines serving 32 countries): https://befrienders.org/International Directory of Mental Health Helplines: https://www.helpguide.org/find-help.htmThe Fireside Project (US-only psychedelic-specific support): https://firesideproject.org/Psychology Today (to find a therapist in North America): https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapists Music credit: Music by Mass X Audio from Pixabay #psychedelics #podcast #tripreport

    52 min

  4. 12/15/2025

    Ep20: Confusion and isolation in childhood, finding intuition and connection

    Ruth Webster is a retired library scientist, a fellow New Brunswicker, and someone with a lifelong curiosity about connection with self and the world around them. After a complex childhood growing up in the 1950s and 60s and first encountering psychedelics as a teenager and saying ‘no’, her curiosity about psychedelics was not piqued again until 2015 when she started a Holotropic Breathwork training course. Through a number of curious coincidences, she found her way to her first psychedelic experience with Iboga at a retreat centre in Mexico a year later. Ruth shares about her first experience, and how it has shaped her relationship with the substances, and with herself. For the listener, Ruth is someone who also navigates some physical limitations, so please feel welcome to enjoy finding your audio groove as you listen in to our conversation. Shownotes Holotropic Breathwork training Ruth mentioned taking: https://www.holotropic.com/ As well as the Grof Legacy Training: https://grofpsychedelictrainingacademy.ca/breathwork/ Music credit: Music by Mass X Audio from Pixabay #psychedelics #podcast #tripreport

    35 min

  5. 12/01/2025

    Ep19: Childhood innocence, receiving a warm welcome and appreciating the magic

    Matt Jaworski was born into a mixed family in the Ottawa suburbs, and was exposed to many things that seemed surreal to him from an early age. Because of this, he has spent much of his life seeking out answers to why things are the way they are, and at the same time learning to let go and be led when the path to follow is clear.  In our conversation, we talk about his childhood and his very trusting nature as a kid, what he learned about the world and himself growing up with a differently-abled younger brother, how his passion for organic food cultivated his curiosity in plant medicines, all of which which led him to eventually grow his own mushrooms and experience his welcoming and warm first psychedelic trip.  While he is no longer an active member, Matt also helped start the Ottawa psychedelic society which is still in operation today--- one of the many seeds he has planted along his psychedelic path.  Shownotes James Fadiman’s “The Psychedelic Explorer’s Guidebook”: https://www.psychedelicexplorersguide.com/ Yann Martel's "Life of Pi": https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4214.Life_of_PiCeline Dion, ‘The Power of Love’ music video: https://youtu.be/Y8HOfcYWZoo?si=rYRgL7GSSlnSq72c Ottawa Psychedelic Education Network: https://www.ottpsychedelic.ca/  Music credit: Music by Mass X Audio from Pixabay #psychedelics #podcast #tripreport

    40 min

  6. 11/15/2025

    Ep18: Years of disconnection from self and others, finding safety and communion with the natural world

    Lucia Rios Maia da Silva is a queer Brazilian psychotherapist whose life and research are guided by a deep connection to nature and plant medicines. In our conversation together, we explore their childhood raised by two pastors, and the disconnection that they experienced as they were forced to try to ‘correct’ their queerness, and the new communities and spiritualities they built as they learned to live in their truth. After coming out in Brazil, Lucia moved to Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada in 2019 seeking a safer social and political context, which moves us into hearing about their first psychedelic experience with psilocybin mushrooms. They also co-facilitate a biweekly hapeh circle open to the Ottawa community members, and during their free time, they can be found practicing yoga, cycling along the river, or drumming on their djembe. Shownotes Lucia's professional website: www.linesofbecoming.comFacebook group for the hapeh circle Lucia helps convene: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1104427398535575 Music credit: Music by Mass X Audio from Pixabay #psychedelics #podcast #tripreport

    39 min

  7. 11/01/2025

    Ep17: A child of revolution, reclaiming safety through MDMA therapy, and advancing lived experience in psychedelic care

    Trigger Warning: discussions of suicidality Pedram Dara is an Iranian-born refugee to Canada and a former MDMA-assisted therapy clinical trial participant who has turned his experiences into founding and directing the Psychedelic Lived Experiences initiative, a patient-led movement advancing lived experience expertise in psychedelic research, treatment, and policy. In our conversation together, we talk about how his current advocacy work is built off of his early experiences as a child growing up in Iran. We explore some of the confusing messaging that surrounded him about drugs as he was growing up, before eventually talking through what led him to having his first therapeutic psychedelic experience to help heal his PTSD in a clinical trial setting. A reminder that this episode contains mentions of suicidal thoughts. This warning is meant to empower you with the knowledge you need to make healthy decisions about how and if you should consume this podcast content. We invite you to practice self-care and do what feels right for you. And if you need support, please connect with someone who can help: family and friends, professionals, or a crisis line. There are both Canadian and international recommendations in the show notes below. You are not alone-- not in your pain, nor in your healing. Shownotes Psychedelic Lived Experiences initiative that Pedram has builtThe upcoming Psychedelic Lived Experiences Summit, a free online event happening November 2025The FDA decision on June 4, 2024 to reject the initial application for MDMA therapy: https://www.npr.org/sections/shots-health-news/2024/06/04/nx-s1-4991112/mdma-therapy-ptsd-fda-advisorsMK Ultra experiments that happened at McGill in the 1950s and 60s: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montreal_experimentsFDA Advisory Committee Meeting on MDMA Approval (U.S.) On June 4, 2024, Pedram spoke at the FDA’s Psychopharmacologic Drugs Advisory Committee meeting during its review of MDMA-assisted therapy for PTSD. As a public hearing speaker, he shared insights from his firsthand experience as a Phase 2 clinical trial participant, highlighting both the benefits and limitations of the treatment.Psychedelic Science 2025 Conference (U.S.) On June 19, 2025 Pedram led a self-organized panel at Psychedelic Science 2025, the first ever by MDMA-assisted therapy trial participants. The session brought together diverse voices who found benefit, faced challenges, or experienced harm, offering a rare, unfiltered look into the real-world complexity of psychedelic treatment and patient experience.Breaking Convention 2023 Keynote Presentation (Exeter, England) On April 22, 2023, Pedram delivered a keynote at Breaking Convention, Europe’s largest psychedelic conference, held at the University of Exeter. He shared insights from his own MDMA therapy experience, four years after participating in a Phase 2 clinical trial in Canada and discussed how to improve patient outcomes. He also joined a panel with renowned policy advocate Amanda Feilding. Below are some Canadian and international mental health resources to access if you are in distress or need support: Crisis Services Canada: https://988.ca/Befrienders Worldwide (crisis lines serving 32 countries): https://befrienders.org/ International Directory of Mental Health Helplines: https://www.helpguide.org/find-help.htmThe Fireside Project (US-only psychedelic-specific support): https://firesideproject.org/ Psychology Today (to find a therapist in North America): https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapists Music credit: Music by Mass X Audio from Pixabay #psychedelics #podcast #tripreport

    52 min

  8. 10/15/2025

    Ep16: Wanting to support others, questioning what she thought she knew, and tending to her own Inner Child

    Dr. Monnica T. Williams is a board-certified licensed clinical psychologist and Professor at the University of Ottawa in the School of Psychology, where she is the Canada Research Chair in Mental Health Disparities. She is also the Clinical Director of the Behavioral Wellness Clinics in Connecticut and Ottawa, where she provides supervision and training to clinicians for empirically-supported treatments. In our conversation together, we sit down outside of the professional context and talk a bit about her personal journey towards psychedelics for healing, and how her relationship with these substances evolved into what has become an important part of her career unfolding. We talk about what she learned in that first journey in a well-supported clinical environment, and learn more about how her evolving dance with psychedelics has impacted not just her career path, but just as importantly, her relationship to herself.    Shownotes Monnica's professional website: https://www.monnicawilliams.com/Monnica's upcoming retreat on Psychedelics and Racial Trauma in Mexico in November: https://www.mentalhealthdisparities.org/retreats.php Links to a few of the studies back in 2015 that opened her mind to the potential of psychedelics:The safety and efficacy of 3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamineassisted psychotherapy in subjects with chronic, treatment-resistant posttraumatic stress disorder: the first randomized controlled pilot studyDurability of improvement in post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms and absence of harmful effects or drug dependency after 3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine-assisted psychotherapy: a prospective long-term follow-up study Monnica’s Social Media links:  X: @DrMonnicaInstagram: @drmonnicaLinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/monnicawilliams Trainings she offers:  http://www.racialtraumahealing.com/certification.phphttps://ebtrainingsolutions.com/event/2026-03-19/treating-racial-trauma-anti-racismhttps://bewellct.com/ketamine-retreat.php Music credit: Music by Mass X Audio from Pixabay #psychedelics #podcast #tripreport

    38 min
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My Psychedelic Roots shares stories from people from a broad swath of lived experience to explore their psychedelic beginnings, or roots: what motivated them to start using psychedelics, what those early experiences were like, and how those roots have impacted their understanding of themselves and the world around them. My goal in these conversations is to give voice to the unique, transpersonal and human side of psychedelics and non-ordinary states of consciousness--- allowing guests to talk about their personal stories, not just their professional ones. I hope that listeners of the podcast will have an opportunity to gain insight into the lived reality of psychedelic experiencing (both the shadow and the light), hear about how people found their way into the psychedelic space, and to have an opportunity to get curious about the resonance, contrasts and connections between the podcast guests experience and their own psychedelic roots.

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