My Psychedelic Roots

Amy Bartlett
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My Psychedelic Roots shares stories from people from a broad swath of lived experience to explore their psychedelic beginnings, or roots: what motivated them to start using psychedelics, what those early experiences were like, and how those roots have impacted their understanding of themselves and the world around them. My goal in these conversations is to give voice to the unique, transpersonal and human side of psychedelics and non-ordinary states of consciousness--- allowing guests to talk about their personal stories, not just their professional ones. I hope that listeners of the podcast will have an opportunity to gain insight into the lived reality of psychedelic experiencing (both the shadow and the light), hear about how people found their way into the psychedelic space, and to have an opportunity to get curious about the resonance, contrasts and connections between the podcast guests experience and their own psychedelic roots.

  1. 6D AGO

    Ep25: Experiencing a ‘life quake’, finding relief with ketamine therapy, and rediscovering connection with the natural world

    Trigger Warning: discussions of suicidality Karen Pascal was born and raised in Ottawa, Canada, and spent much of her childhood outdoors, birdwatching and camping with her family—feeling playful, carefree, and deeply connected to the natural world. This was an anchoring Karen lost touch with as life unfolded, and as she grew older, she struggled with anxiety and depression. After exploring many different therapeutic approaches without lasting relief, it wasn’t until her marriage unexpectedly ended and she experienced what she calls her “life quake” that psychedelics entered her life and she began ketamine-assisted therapy. We talk about what the clinical experience was like for her, the benefits she received, and how that led her to deepen her work with an experienced facilitator. We also talk about her deep reconnection with nature and how she has worked to resource herself with the community and experiences that have helped to ground in her body and the world around her. A reminder that this episode contains mentions of suicidality. This warning is meant to empower you with the knowledge you need to make healthy decisions about how and if you should consume this podcast content. We invite you to practice self-care and do what feels right for you. And if you need support, please connect with someone who can help: family and friends, professionals, or a crisis line. There are both Canadian and international recommendations in the show notes below. You are not alone-- not in your pain, nor in your healing. Shownotes Karen's email if listeners would like to reach out about her forest walks: GroundedEarthTherapy@gmail.comKaren's birding account on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/birds_unshuttered/ Below are some Canadian and international mental health resources to access if you are in distress or need support: Crisis Services Canada: https://988.ca/Befrienders Worldwide (crisis lines serving 32 countries): https://befrienders.org/International Directory of Mental Health Helplines: https://www.helpguide.org/find-help.htmThe Fireside Project (US-only psychedelic-specific support): https://firesideproject.org/Psychology Today (to find a therapist in North America): https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapists Music credit: Music by Mass X Audio from Pixabay #psychedelics #podcast #tripreport

    35 min

  2. FEB 23

    EP24: A grounded childhood, connecting with the past as a meaningful experience of the present

    Erika Dyck is a professor in the Department of History at the University of Saskatchewan. Her work focuses on 20th century medical history, including the history of psychedelics, psychiatry, eugenics and population control. Erika grew up not far from the Weyburn, Saskatchewan, the birthplace of the word ‘psychedelic’, and where a lot of psychedelic research was happening in Canada in the early days. And yet, Erika’s roots were very much outside of that world. In our conversation, we wend our way through her relatively secular upbringing, her desire to leave rural Saskatchewan and experience the world, and we talk about some of her early exposures that led her to become interested in the field of psychedelic studies. We also dive into one of her more recent and deeply meaningful psychedelic experiences which she had in communion with others and with the natural world-- allowing her to connect not just to the geography but also the history and communities that continue to shape both her research and her own lived experience. Shownotes A link to learn more about Erika's books on the history of psychedelics: https://research-groups.usask.ca/history-medicine//publications.phpOr check out her most recent publication "Psychedelics: A Visual Odyssey": https://mitpress.mit.edu/9780262547666/psychedelics/ Hear more about Erika's work by watching her TEDx talk "Just Say Know" about psychedelic drug history: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gc7Blc1w1ho Music credit: Music by Mass X Audio from Pixabay #psychedelics #podcast #tripreport

    52 min

  3. FEB 4

    Ep23: Fear and bravery, discovering the sacred and honoring wisdom

    Anthony di Virgilio is a father, a registered psychotherapist and a student of sacred plant teachers. He is deeply interested in the connection between mental and emotional health, relational dynamics, and spirituality - and he integrates these perspectives into his therapeutic work, and we hear in our conversation together, he also integrates these into his own work with psychedelic medicines. Anthony also studies vitalist herbalism, Indigenous healing modalities, and principles of Traditional Chinese Medicine, and is a Fire Keeper and Song Carrier for Anishinaabe Elder Douglas Cardinal, and a humble student of North and South American Indigenous teachings and ceremonies. In our conversation together, Anthony and I talk about the fear, confusion and isolation he experienced as a child— and the bravery he worked to cultivate as he tried to make sense of a world that felt very unsafe in both the physical and spiritual realms. We talk about some of his first experiences with cannabis before eventually making his way towards his first psychedelic experience with ayahuasca 14 years ago--- a foundational relationship that continues to shape his life and practice today. Shownotes Holistic Psychotherapy, Anthony’s therapy practice website with his wife and associates: https://www.holisticpsychotherapy.ca/ Music credit: Music by Mass X Audio from Pixabay #psychedelics #podcast #tripreport

    41 min

  4. JAN 21

    Ep22: A gregarious childhood, a dark night of the soul, and explorations with set and setting to find safety and love

    Trigger Warning: discussions of suicidality Robert Décarie is a local certified Holotropic Breathwork facilitator, a former counselor and wildlife management specialist, and a delightful human being. As we explore in our conversation together, after having a gregarious but dissociated childhood in Montreal and experiencing a dark night of the soul in his early twenties, he pivoted to study environmental sciences (M.Sc.) and had a 25-year career in wildlife management. In the mid-2000s, he readjusted the course of his life to deepen its meaning and chose to study to become a counselor, and in 2008, he started practicing Holotropic Breathwork, eventually completing his training to become a certified facilitator which he has been offering to the Ottawa community since 2015. In our conversation together, we walk through several decades of psychedelic roots, from visiting Mexico in the 1970s, to experimenting with ayahuasca in a couple of different settings, to finally experiencing what he considers to be his first true psychedelic experience in a well-supported set and setting that allowed him to connect deeply with himself and to love. It was a pleasure to wend our way through Robert’s psychedelic roots, or what he calls his holotropic life! A reminder that this episode contains mentions of suicidality. This warning is meant to empower you with the knowledge you need to make healthy decisions about how and if you should consume this podcast content. We invite you to practice self-care and do what feels right for you. And if you need support, please connect with someone who can help: family and friends, professionals, or a crisis line. There are both Canadian and international recommendations in the show notes below. You are not alone-- not in your pain, nor in your healing. Shownotes Robert’s holotropic breathwork website: https://ottawaholotropic.ca/en/Favourite song from Sgt. Pepper album: A Day in the Life, but the entire album surging from nowhere, colorful, creative, joyful, and alive.First Carlos Castenada book read: A Separate RealityCurrent precious inner exploring and integration tool, Focusing (Eugene T. Gendlin, 1982, Bantam Books) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtYGnwwGzdA Below are some Canadian and international mental health resources to access if you are in distress or need support: Crisis Services Canada: https://988.ca/Befrienders Worldwide (crisis lines serving 32 countries): https://befrienders.org/International Directory of Mental Health Helplines: https://www.helpguide.org/find-help.htmThe Fireside Project (US-only psychedelic-specific support): https://firesideproject.org/Psychology Today (to find a therapist in North America): https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapists Music credit: Music by Mass X Audio from Pixabay #psychedelics #podcast #tripreport

    46 min

  5. JAN 1

    Ep21: Experiencing the beginnings of Western psychedelic research, and bridging the material and spiritual

    Trigger Warning: discussions of suicidal thoughts Dr. Paul Grof is a Canadian research psychiatrist and clinician who has been involved in psychedelic and transpersonal work for over six decades. He was a professor at several Canadian and European universities until recently retiring from the University of Toronto in 2022, and served as an Expert at the World Health Organization from 1985 to 2000, where he chaired the Committee on Psychotropic Substances. It was a pleasure to get to sit down with Paul to explore his roots: from growing up in the Czech Republic, to being part of the initial wave of people in Western society experimenting with LSD in research labs. In our conversation together, he takes us back to the 1950s and 60s and generously shares some of his experiences during those early days of Western psychedelic research--- and perhaps most importantly, about how he was so personally and professionally impacted by this unfolding. Shownotes Presentation on Paul's recently published paper "Consciousness: local and non-local" on Youtube: https://youtu.be/NKt36A0bKV8?si=dY8tqcDR2E6QC9gN _______ A reminder that this episode contains mentions of suicidal thoughts. This warning is meant to empower you with the knowledge you need to make healthy decisions about how and if you should consume this podcast content. We invite you to practice self-care and do what feels right for you. And if you need support, please connect with someone who can help: family and friends, professionals, or a crisis line. There are both Canadian and international recommendations in the show notes below. You are not alone-- not in your pain, nor in your healing. Below are some Canadian and international mental health resources to access if you are in distress or need support: Crisis Services Canada: https://988.ca/Befrienders Worldwide (crisis lines serving 32 countries): https://befrienders.org/International Directory of Mental Health Helplines: https://www.helpguide.org/find-help.htmThe Fireside Project (US-only psychedelic-specific support): https://firesideproject.org/Psychology Today (to find a therapist in North America): https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapists Music credit: Music by Mass X Audio from Pixabay #psychedelics #podcast #tripreport

    52 min

  6. 12/15/2025

    Ep20: Confusion and isolation in childhood, finding intuition and connection

    Ruth Webster is a retired library scientist, a fellow New Brunswicker, and someone with a lifelong curiosity about connection with self and the world around them. After a complex childhood growing up in the 1950s and 60s and first encountering psychedelics as a teenager and saying ‘no’, her curiosity about psychedelics was not piqued again until 2015 when she started a Holotropic Breathwork training course. Through a number of curious coincidences, she found her way to her first psychedelic experience with Iboga at a retreat centre in Mexico a year later. Ruth shares about her first experience, and how it has shaped her relationship with the substances, and with herself. For the listener, Ruth is someone who also navigates some physical limitations, so please feel welcome to enjoy finding your audio groove as you listen in to our conversation. Shownotes Holotropic Breathwork training Ruth mentioned taking: https://www.holotropic.com/ As well as the Grof Legacy Training: https://grofpsychedelictrainingacademy.ca/breathwork/ Music credit: Music by Mass X Audio from Pixabay #psychedelics #podcast #tripreport

    35 min

  7. 12/01/2025

    Ep19: Childhood innocence, receiving a warm welcome and appreciating the magic

    Matt Jaworski was born into a mixed family in the Ottawa suburbs, and was exposed to many things that seemed surreal to him from an early age. Because of this, he has spent much of his life seeking out answers to why things are the way they are, and at the same time learning to let go and be led when the path to follow is clear.  In our conversation, we talk about his childhood and his very trusting nature as a kid, what he learned about the world and himself growing up with a differently-abled younger brother, how his passion for organic food cultivated his curiosity in plant medicines, all of which which led him to eventually grow his own mushrooms and experience his welcoming and warm first psychedelic trip.  While he is no longer an active member, Matt also helped start the Ottawa psychedelic society which is still in operation today--- one of the many seeds he has planted along his psychedelic path.  Shownotes James Fadiman’s “The Psychedelic Explorer’s Guidebook”: https://www.psychedelicexplorersguide.com/ Yann Martel's "Life of Pi": https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4214.Life_of_PiCeline Dion, ‘The Power of Love’ music video: https://youtu.be/Y8HOfcYWZoo?si=rYRgL7GSSlnSq72c Ottawa Psychedelic Education Network: https://www.ottpsychedelic.ca/  Music credit: Music by Mass X Audio from Pixabay #psychedelics #podcast #tripreport

    40 min

  8. 11/15/2025

    Ep18: Years of disconnection from self and others, finding safety and communion with the natural world

    Lucia Rios Maia da Silva is a queer Brazilian psychotherapist whose life and research are guided by a deep connection to nature and plant medicines. In our conversation together, we explore their childhood raised by two pastors, and the disconnection that they experienced as they were forced to try to ‘correct’ their queerness, and the new communities and spiritualities they built as they learned to live in their truth. After coming out in Brazil, Lucia moved to Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada in 2019 seeking a safer social and political context, which moves us into hearing about their first psychedelic experience with psilocybin mushrooms. They also co-facilitate a biweekly hapeh circle open to the Ottawa community members, and during their free time, they can be found practicing yoga, cycling along the river, or drumming on their djembe. Shownotes Lucia's professional website: www.linesofbecoming.comFacebook group for the hapeh circle Lucia helps convene: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1104427398535575 Music credit: Music by Mass X Audio from Pixabay #psychedelics #podcast #tripreport

    39 min
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About

My Psychedelic Roots shares stories from people from a broad swath of lived experience to explore their psychedelic beginnings, or roots: what motivated them to start using psychedelics, what those early experiences were like, and how those roots have impacted their understanding of themselves and the world around them. My goal in these conversations is to give voice to the unique, transpersonal and human side of psychedelics and non-ordinary states of consciousness--- allowing guests to talk about their personal stories, not just their professional ones. I hope that listeners of the podcast will have an opportunity to gain insight into the lived reality of psychedelic experiencing (both the shadow and the light), hear about how people found their way into the psychedelic space, and to have an opportunity to get curious about the resonance, contrasts and connections between the podcast guests experience and their own psychedelic roots.

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