Navigating Toxic Relationships | Christian Relationship Counseling, Loneliness, Divorce, Narcissistic Abuse, Self-Esteem

Dr. Wendy Burchett, PsyD., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Biblical Relationship Strategist and Addiction Specialist
  • 5.0 (24)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Biweekly

***TOP 5% GLOBALLY RANKED PODCAST*** Are you unhappy in a toxic Christian relationship or marriage and stuck because you are constantly waiting for him to change? Are you confused trying to discern God’s will for your relationship? Do you feel like you have lost the ability to feel emotionally safe in your marriage? Have you lost yourself because you are so focused on how to make your relationship work?  I am so excited you are here! This podcast will help you create emotional safety, discover God’s will for your relationship, find yourself again, and choose faith over fear!  Hello Sisters, I am Dr. Wendy Burchett, doctor of psychology and licensed marriage and family therapist. I am also a Christ follower who spent 20 years trying to figure out how to find my way out of toxic relationships and rediscover my identity to create a life I loved.  I was stuck and confused about God’s will for me, waiting for others to change, hoping I was enough. I was afraid of staying and scared to death to leave. I finally realized if I wanted change I had to find safety for myself, quit waiting on others to change, and focus on building identity to move forward.  I created a method to get unstuck in relationships and begin to build an identity in Christ that worked for me, while giving me freedom from anxiety, fear and toxicity. I can’t wait to share it with you!  If you are ready to…  Understand God’s will for your relationship Take action without fear Discover your identity  Find emotional safety And create an awesome plan for your future..  Then this podcast is for YOU!  Grab some courage and your coffee! Let’s dive in! 

  1. 2d ago

    21| The Rescuer's Wound: Healing From the Need to Save Everyone but Yourself

    Have you ever believed that if people around you were happy, that meant you were finally loved? Why are you drawn to people who need you, instead of people who simply want you? What happens when you finally ask yourself: what is my part in this pattern? This is a personal, honest episode about healing from the rescuer identity — the belief that being needed, being the helper, being everyone's safe place, was the way to earn love and belonging. It's a pattern that often starts as a genuine gift for compassion and listening, and quietly turns into a life spent disappearing so that everyone else can be comfortable. Drawing on Christian relationship counseling and real lived experience, this episode covers: How the rescuer or "superhero" identity forms, often starting in childhood, long before any romantic relationship begins The quiet equation that can end up running your whole life: if they're happy, I'm loved; if they're unhappy, I've failed The difference between naming your part in a repeating pattern and blaming yourself for harm that was done to you Three honest questions that start real healing: what makes you worthy, what do you actually like, and what do you actually want and need in a relationship Why you were created for presence with God, not performance for everyone around you This episode speaks directly to you whether you're recognizing patterns of narcissistic abuse in relationships you were drawn to, rebuilding self-esteem after years of measuring your worth by how needed you were, sitting with the lonelinessof being everyone's confidant but no one's priority, or wondering whether divorce is even on the table when you still believe you could fix things if you just loved harder. A note before you listen: This episode offers personal reflection and general encouragement, not a substitute for individual therapy. If this pattern resonates deeply, please also consider connecting with a licensed Christian relationship counselor.

  2. 4d ago

    20| Living With Addiction in Your Relationship: The Loneliness of the Rescuer Role

    Have you ever mistaken one good week for proof that everything was finally going to change? Is it possible to have compassion for someone's pain and still not be responsible for fixing it? What happens when the hope you're holding onto has no actual evidence behind it anymore? This episode is a personal, honest story about loving someone through addiction — the charisma that draws you in, the trauma underneath the drinking, the small lies that grow into a pattern you can no longer ignore, and the years of hope that kept saying "maybe this time" without any real evidence behind it. It's a raw look at what it actually costs to love an addict, and what finally has to shift in order to heal. Drawing on both lived experience and the wisdom Al-Anon has offered families of addicts for decades, this episode walks through: The difference between hope rooted in real, sustained change and hope rooted in how badly you want something to be true How the rescuer role (from our last episode) shows up specifically inside addiction — compassion for someone's trauma turning into responsibility for their recovery Al-Anon's Three C's: you didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it — and why that truth is a relief, not a rejection Where God was present even in the hopelessness, and why His nearness to the brokenhearted doesn't depend on the addicted person changing first This episode speaks directly to you whether you're navigating a relationship affected by addiction, recognizing patterns of narcissistic abuse wrapped around someone else's substance use, rebuilding self-esteem after years of measuring your worth by his sobriety, sitting with the loneliness of loving someone who is physically present but emotionally gone, or wrestling with whether divorce is even something you're allowed to consider after everything you've already tried. A note before you listen: This episode discusses addiction, infidelity, and depression, including a personal reference to suicidal thoughts. If anything in this episode feels heavy for you personally, please know that support is available: the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call or text 988) is there anytime, and the National Domestic Violence Hotline is available at 1-800-799-7233. This episode offers general encouragement, not a substitute for individual therapy — please also consider Al-Anon or a licensed Christian counselor who understands addiction's impact on families.

  3. Sep 10

    19| Is it Possible to Love Someone Too Much? Steps to Letting Go of the Rescuer Role

    Have you ever believed that if you just loved someone enough, you could finally heal what was broken in them? Why does letting go of trying to save someone feel like giving up on them? What if your love was never meant to be the cure for someone else's pain? So many women don't lose themselves to a relationship — they lose themselves to a mission. This episode names that pattern directly: believing that enough love, patience, and effort could heal someone else's trauma, addiction, or brokenness, and save the relationship in the process. It's a compassionate instinct that quietly costs you everything. Drawing on Christian relationship counseling and the same wisdom Al-Anon has taught families for decades, this episode covers: Why the rescuer identity is so compelling — and why it's rooted in real compassion, not a character flaw Why love alone was never going to be the mechanism of someone else's healing, no matter how devoted or patient you were What the rescuer role actually costs you: your rest, your own emotional world, and a stable sense of your own worth Where God actually fits into this story — and why salvation was never a role available for you to fill, however much you loved This episode speaks directly to you whether you're trying to understand a relationship shaped by narcissistic abuse, rebuilding self-esteem after years of measuring your worth by someone else's healing, sitting with the loneliness of loving someone you can't fully reach, or quietly wondering whether divorce is even something you're allowed to consider when you still believe you could fix things if you just tried harder. A note before you listen: This episode offers general spiritual and emotional encouragement, not a substitute for individual therapy. If you recognize this pattern in your own relationship, please also consider connecting with a licensed Christian relationship counselor. Have a question you'd like answered anonymously in a future episode? Email me at drwendyburchett@gmail.com. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.

  4. Sep 8

    18| Is This Gaslighting or Am I Overreacting? A Guide to Trusting Yourself Again.

    Have you ever remembered a conversation clearly, only to be told it never happened that way? Why do you find yourself rehearsing what you're about to say, just to avoid being told you're overreacting? What if the confusion you've been living in isn't a sign that you're losing your mind — but a sign that something specific is happening to you? "Gaslighting" is everywhere right now — which has been both a gift and a problem. A gift, because it gave a lot of women language for something real. A problem, because it's been stretched to cover so much that it's lost its precision. In this episode, we slow down and get specific, moving past the trendy term into something clearer: [YOUR TERM] — a pattern that repeatedly erodes your trust in your own perception, and a real path back to trusting yourself again. Drawing on both Christian relationship counseling and a grounded, non-trend-driven look at this pattern, this episode covers: What's actually happening when your memory, perception, and emotional reactions are consistently challenged — and why that's different from a single disagreement Why the popular use of "gaslighting" has become so broad it's stopped being useful for evaluating your own specific situation Four concrete markers of this pattern to watch for, without needing a diagnosis to take them seriously Practical, real steps to begin trusting your own perception again, after it's been worn down Where God is in the disorientation — and why ongoing confusion was never His design for you This episode speaks directly to you whether you're trying to understand a pattern that might be narcissistic abuse, rebuilding self-esteem after years of doubting your own reality, navigating the loneliness of being the only one who seems to remember things the way they happened, or wondering whether divorce is even something you're allowed to consider because you can no longer trust your own read on your marriage. A note before you listen: This episode offers general education, not a diagnosis or individualized therapy. If this pattern resonates deeply, please also consider connecting with a licensed Christian relationship counselor who can walk with you through your specific situation.

  5. Sep 3

    17 | Should I Stay or Go? Addressing the Taboo Topic of Divorce

    Is it possible to love God, love your marriage, and still not know what "faithful" means in your specific situation? Are there thoughts you are afraid to entertain?  What if the silence around divorce in Christian spaces has never actually protected anyone? ASK DR. WENDY A QUESTION  Submit a Question This is the conversation so many Christian women carry alone for years — sometimes decades — because they're not sure they're even allowed to ask it out loud: God, is it okay if I leave? In this episode, we address that question directly, honestly, and without pretending it's simpler than it actually is. Drawing on Christian relationship counseling and an honest look at what Scripture actually says, this episode walks through: Why the topic of divorce feels so forbidden in church culture, and why that silence tends to add shame rather than protect anyone What Scripture actually says — presented as the range of views sincere, Bible-believing Christians genuinely hold, not a single verdict handed down from a podcast Real questions to bring to God and to a trusted pastor or Christian counselor, instead of searching for one tidy rule How fear shows up on both sides of this decision — the fear of staying somewhere unsafe, and the fear of leaving and being judged — and how faith meets you in either one This episode speaks directly to you whether you're navigating narcissistic abuse and trying to understand what's actually happening in your marriage, rebuilding self-esteem worn down by years of doubting yourself, sitting with the specific loneliness of a relationship that isn't what you hoped it would be, or quietly circling this exact question without anyone to say it to out loud. A note before you listen: This episode does not offer legal, pastoral, or individualized theological advice. Please seek your own pastor or Christian counselor for guidance specific to your situation.

  6. Sep 1

    16| Do you Fear His Reaction to Decisions? Quick Guide to Choosing Faith Over Fear.

    ASK DR. WENDY- click link below  Submit a Question Here Have you ever called your fear "wisdom" just to avoid admitting you're afraid? What if the peace you keep praying for is being quietly blocked by the very fear you think is protecting you? Is your caution actually discernment — or is it fear wearing discernment's clothes? If you've been "being careful" about the same decision for months, or years, without any real movement, this episode is for you. We're naming something many Christian women have never been given permission to name: that fear, dressed up as patience or wisdom, is often the very thing keeping you stuck — costing you peace, joy, purpose, and the decisiveness you've been praying for. Drawing on both Christian relationship counseling and practical, faith-guided decision-making, this episode walks through: The difference between real wisdom and fear disguised as wisdom — and how to tell which one is actually driving your decisions What fear is quietly costing you: your peace, your joy, your sense of purpose, and your ability to be decisive Three concrete steps to begin choosing faith over fear — not by waiting for fear to disappear, but by moving forward while it's still present Where God meets you specifically in the fear you've been carrying, and why fear was never evidence of weak faith This episode speaks directly to you whether you're wrestling with loneliness in a relationship that doesn't feel safe, trying to understand a pattern that might be narcissistic abuse, working to rebuild your self-esteem after years of feeling not enough, or quietly circling the question of divorce without letting yourself say it out loud. Wherever fear has been steering, this episode offers a path back to peace — not fear's absence, but faith standing steady inside it. A note before you listen: This episode offers general spiritual and emotional encouragement, not a substitute for individual therapy. If fear, anxiety, or a difficult relationship pattern is significantly impacting your daily life, please also consider connecting with a licensed Christian relationship counselor. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.

  7. Aug 27

    15| Feeling numb and stuck with indecision in your relationship? Three steps to begin moving forward!

    ASK DR. WENDY A QUESTION! CLICK LINK BELOW! Submit a Question! Have you ever tried to answer "how do you feel about your relationship" and genuinely come up blank? What if the numbness that's been protecting you is also the reason you can't seem to move forward? Is the fear of making the wrong decision actually fear at all — or is it the absence of information your own feelings were supposed to give you? If you've been stuck in indecision so long it's started to feel permanent, this episode is for you. We're exploring the science behind why your emotions exist in the first place — and why numbing them out, however understandable, may be the very thing keeping you frozen. Drawing on both Christian relationship counseling and the science of emotional intelligence — including insights from Dr. Marc Brackett's research at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence — this episode walks through: A quick, accessible background on why you have emotions at all, and how they're designed to give you the information you need to make good decisions Why you may have gone numb inside a difficult or toxic relationship, and why that numbness was actually intelligent, not weak The paradox at the center of this episode: how refusing to feel your feelings doesn't protect you from being stuck — it creates the stuckness Three concrete steps to begin feeling safely again, so you can start moving toward a real decision instead of staying frozen in loneliness and indecision Where God meets you specifically in the vulnerable emotions you've been avoiding — and why bringing Him your honest heart is the foundation for coping with pain, not a detour from faith This episode speaks directly to you if you've been circling the same indecision for months, wondering whether you're dealing with narcissistic abuse, weighing whether divorce is even on the table, or simply trying to figure out when to leave the fog of not-feeling and start feeling your way back toward clarity. You don't have to have the whole decision figured out today — you just have to be willing to feel one honest thing. A note before you listen: This episode offers general emotional and spiritual encouragement, not a substitute for individual therapy. If numbness, indecision, or narcissistic abuse are part of your story, please also consider connecting with a licensed Christian relationship counselor who can walk with you through your specific situation. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. Next Steps:  Connect:  Join my email list for weekly tips and encouragement: drwendy@navigatingtoxicrelationships.com Instagram:  https://instagram.com/drwendyburchett TikTok: https://tiktok.com/drwendyburchettpsyd Join our Free Facebook group: "Navigating Toxic Relationships" https://www.facebook.com/groups/1348519390664188/

  8. Aug 25

    14| Why Wishing He Would Change isn't Helping and What to do Instead!

    ASK DR. WENDY A QUESTION!  Submit a Question Anonymously to Dr. Wendy! Have you ever tried to answer "how do you feel about your relationship" and genuinely come up blank? What if the numbness that's been protecting you is also the reason you can't seem to move forward? Is the fear of making the wrong decision actually fear at all — or is it the absence of information your own feelings were supposed to give you? If you've been stuck in indecision so long it's started to feel permanent, this episode is for you. We're exploring the science behind why your emotions exist in the first place — and why numbing them out, however understandable, may be the very thing keeping you frozen. Drawing on both Christian relationship counseling and the science of emotional intelligence — including insights from Dr. Marc Brackett's research at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence — this episode walks through: A quick, accessible background on why you have emotions at all, and how they're designed to give you the information you need to make good decisions Why you may have gone numb inside a difficult or toxic relationship, and why that numbness was actually intelligent, not weak The paradox at the center of this episode: how refusing to feel your feelings doesn't protect you from being stuck — it creates the stuckness Three concrete steps to begin feeling safely again, so you can start moving toward a real decision instead of staying frozen in loneliness and indecision Where God meets you specifically in the vulnerable emotions you've been avoiding — and why bringing Him your honest heart is the foundation for coping with pain, not a detour from faith This episode speaks directly to you if you've been circling the same indecision for months, wondering whether you're dealing with narcissistic abuse, weighing whether divorce is even on the table, or simply trying to figure out when to leave the fog of not-feeling and start feeling your way back toward clarity. You don't have to have the whole decision figured out today — you just have to be willing to feel one honest thing. A note before you listen: This episode offers general emotional and spiritual encouragement, not a substitute for individual therapy. If numbness, indecision, or narcissistic abuse are part of your story, please also consider connecting with a licensed Christian relationship counselor who can walk with you through your specific situation. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. Next Steps:  Connect:  Join my email list for weekly tips and encouragement: drwendy@navigatingtoxicrelationships.com Instagram:  https://instagram.com/drwendyburchett TikTok: https://tiktok.com/drwendyburchettpsyd Join our Free Facebook group: "Navigating Toxic Relationships" https://www.facebook.com/groups/1348519390664188/

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***TOP 5% GLOBALLY RANKED PODCAST*** Are you unhappy in a toxic Christian relationship or marriage and stuck because you are constantly waiting for him to change? Are you confused trying to discern God’s will for your relationship? Do you feel like you have lost the ability to feel emotionally safe in your marriage? Have you lost yourself because you are so focused on how to make your relationship work?  I am so excited you are here! This podcast will help you create emotional safety, discover God’s will for your relationship, find yourself again, and choose faith over fear!  Hello Sisters, I am Dr. Wendy Burchett, doctor of psychology and licensed marriage and family therapist. I am also a Christ follower who spent 20 years trying to figure out how to find my way out of toxic relationships and rediscover my identity to create a life I loved.  I was stuck and confused about God’s will for me, waiting for others to change, hoping I was enough. I was afraid of staying and scared to death to leave. I finally realized if I wanted change I had to find safety for myself, quit waiting on others to change, and focus on building identity to move forward.  I created a method to get unstuck in relationships and begin to build an identity in Christ that worked for me, while giving me freedom from anxiety, fear and toxicity. I can’t wait to share it with you!  If you are ready to…  Understand God’s will for your relationship Take action without fear Discover your identity  Find emotional safety And create an awesome plan for your future..  Then this podcast is for YOU!  Grab some courage and your coffee! Let’s dive in! 

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