The Accountabilityy Hour with Ashley Reilly

Ashley Reilly

A (life) process of putting your needs first so you're present in today's moments and find your fulfillments that comes from within. Welcome to a good sprinkle of accountability and understanding so we connect well with the ones we love. Thank you for coming! daydreamslowlyy.substack.com

  1. 6D AGO

    Cloud 9 After "Dying" and A Year Without Foregiveness

    Hello, have you missed me, missed all my emails?? I feel like I have been gone forever. I feel life experiences are oftentimes a great mirror for what we need to be focusing on or somewhere we need to sharpen our skillsets, or somewhere where we need to dust out the cobwebs per se and bring in new energy. I have hesitated coming back because I am apprehensive on what I am going to say: I feel like since I have been young I have always had experiences that shook my relationships or showed me I had different values or beliefs than others, and sometimes that makes me want to censor myself. But… when I watch documentaries, I am pretty good at guessing behavior and tendencies and I remember I can predict behavior of some of my relatives so well it seems like I am psychic. (meditation really helps to tap into intuition) But really it is that I don’t see any coincidences, only connections and intentions, typically from insecurities, when it comes to human behavior. So, when people show you who they are, believe them like they say. Anywayss, let’s get into some happier talk about how…. * I am feeling focused on moving forward, planning for the year * I was excusing or rationalizing resentment I had for literally almost a year * Resentment or hate can feel like healthy boundaries, but… it’s not * The more painful something is, the better it is that we set it down and let go of resentment * Talking about and sharing feelings or thinking out loud can give some perspective on what we may want in the relationship or areas we may be subconsciously feeling we’re lacking within ourselves * It’s your decision to make for what the best kinds of relationships are for you and what feels healthy for you. * Very importantly, Im super grateful for the incredible people in my life, and anyone supporting me here, reading any of my articles, or listening to the podcast; thank you so much for your time.♥️ Thank you for reading, Ashley Reilly Get full access to Ashley Reilly's: The Accountabilityy Hour at daydreamslowlyy.substack.com/subscribe

    23 min
  2. 12/30/2025

    Choices First, Decisions Later & Protecting Your Peace: Boundaries with People Who Start Fires or Value Status Over Love

    ⚠️We are harmed by people who harm themselves and don’t know it 🧲🧠The brain takes on other people’s beliefs of us when we hear them (subconsciously) 🧐🤨Correct people and tell them when they’re doing something wrong 🧐🤔🤕😁Reflect back on conversations and think about what was said and how it made you feel Thanks for reading The Accountabilityy Hour! This post is public, share it with others here.♥️ 6 Boundaries I am Bringing into 2026: * 🧘‍♀️more time connecting with myself * 😴taking on more rest, less stress * 🤐Not overexplainging myself when I set a boundary * 📚More reading The Accountabilityy Hour is a reader-supported publication. Become a subscriber♥️ * 🛑🙈Not taking on or handling other’s emotional labor (when people are stressed, when they’re anxious, allow them to experience it) * 📉🧌🧟‍♀️🧟‍♂️Not over-entertaining individuals who disrespect or don’t value me. (When other’s don’t believe in themselves, they won’t have capacity to believe in you, and you end up taking on negative/false beliefs about who you are when you’re around them) Thank you for reading!🤎💛 ➡️ If something has resonated with you, 📣please leave a comment, 🗣️send me a message, 💖 or share this post and my publication with others! Much Love, Ashley Get full access to Ashley Reilly's: The Accountabilityy Hour at daydreamslowlyy.substack.com/subscribe

    18 min
  3. 12/25/2025

    Self - Fulfilling Prophecies : Excuses.

    Everybody Gets Hurt with Excuses🤕 Excuses!📋 Probably my favorite and least-favorite word of all time, we have a hate-love relationship.🙂 Excuses are a slippery slope, and they often come in packs and pairs.🛝. ( plus Happy Holidays🎄🎁♥️) We’re touching on…. * how excuses often sound reasonable📌 * or sounds like something from a movie, or a story you’ve already heard before 📺 * how excuses make you do the work, while some else does nothing😴 * how excuses help others break our boundaries😤 The Accountabilityy Hour: receive new posts, share & support my work, or consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.💚 It’s Always "They Don’t Have a Job, a Car” or “They’re Going Through a Hard Time”…⏳ Excuses for poor behavior = more poor behavior😵 * it’s our data that someone is not showing up accountable📓 * we choose to hold people accountable * we teach and tell people how to treat us🫂 * we move forward when we’re not currently in alignment with other’s values * how you should continue on regardless of other’s excuses or your own fears It’s healthy to grieve what we have lost, the dreams for a relationship and who we wish someone really is…💔 However, people are the sum of their actions or excuses😳 That’s why it’s healthy to create distance with people who make you do their labor and make excuses.🗺️ Much Love, Ashley Get full access to Ashley Reilly's: The Accountabilityy Hour at daydreamslowlyy.substack.com/subscribe

    25 min
  4. 12/15/2025

    Talking about the N-Word: Narcissists

    Sippin on Straight Chlorine…⚠️ * You don’t need a diagnosis to know someone is dangerous or unhealthy: your gut knows.🐞 * It is not just people in documentaries that are harmful📺: it is often the people in our lives that are not willing to listen to your feelings or consider how they’re affecting you☠️ A Jar of Hearts…🫙 Narcissists are…. * often the most interesting, attractive and harmful individuals in the room.😏 * They ask you intimate, interesting questions about your life, what you’re up to and how your family is👀 * or they do not like listening to you or getting into deep convos🙉 * They often have good values. 💛 * They feel bad and have empathy for others and other’s hardships😭 (and, you, too! sometimes.)😏🙃 * they adore and take good care of your pets 🐕🐾 (unfortunately, they’ll hardly lift a finger for you😴; possibly a pocketbook or an inauthentic gift on a good day.)🤑 * they’re often hardworking, creative, intelligent: top of their class, best at their job, “smartest in the room” * They may have your coffee and favorite food order memorized🫖 * or they cannot remember what you like no matter how many times you’ve told them🤔🙄 Another One Bites The Personality…🔂 Personality is not simple to change. 😵‍💫 Like, you probalby benefit off of your bubbly, focused, calm personality.🫧 People reallyy like you!👯‍♀️ So, you probably don’t want to change your personality too much🥸 and neither does someone with narcissistic behavior because their personality benefits them.🧠 And, who likes to change things so they are doing more work and getting less benefit? Probably not many… Not super appealing!😕 You’re better off, I’m Glad Their Gone… because…🙅‍♀️ * you are negatively affected by individuals who are not emotionally available * you are likely physically affected: * not cutting your hair💇🏻‍♂️ * not putting effort into your looks 💅 * not spending time with friends and family🏜️ * you will likely take on shame and negative beliefs because of the trauma from the relationship😤 * when someone puts you down, says you dont matter, you will take on the beliefs that you don’t matter and you do not have value🐭 * you dont want people to notice you, you’re trying to blend into the background😶‍🌫️ * you struggle growing in your career or being promoted quickly 😒 * or struggle advocating for yourself with others, telling people you want more money or more support or more of your needs met than is currently being offered 😔 * or you won’t go out or have fun without feeling guilty or give yourself grace with mistakes because you’ve been conditioned to feel horrible about your actions and yourself.😣 * Most importantly, you deserve a happy, growing, healing relationship away from toxic individuals so you can flourish💜🌺 Right Where You Left Me….🗺️ People showing up with narcissistic personality behavior will show up complacent in one way or another like… * how they refuse to spend time with your family🥳 * they consistently lie about themselves (or others) or only have a million reasons for their own poor behavior * refusing to exercise, go to therapy, take care of themselves * probably hate their dentist, their doctor, one of their best friends or their neighbor and certainly cant be reasoned with by expert info, or any common sense to change the situation or relationship * only personal experiences shape their beliefs * ie: they feel theyre always unrecognized and left out in the cold * or they feel it is someone else’s fault or due to painful experiences they are the way they are and they way they are supposed to stay * they always know what is best * refusing to spend time out in public or with your friends 🍽️ * they want you all to themselves (all the time)⛓️ * they are probably tracking your location📍 and expect you to always show up on time ⏰ * invading your privacy : * going through your phone, your mail, your journals, * needing to have a say over or having an opinion of all your relationships (you can’t have any by yourself, sorry, no autonomy, ok?) * they probably want to make decisions for you and NOT with you like… * bringing home people or animals without asking * buying cars, extravagent gifts, vacations without consideration for your wants/needs * telling you how to speak with other people about them or your relationship or asking you frequently (surveillancing) how you feel about them, if you think positively of them or negatively Thanks for reading Ashley Reilly's: The Accountabilityy Hour ! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. Baby, Run.🏁 * You will always have to adjust and devalue yourself around people who don’t respect you. * Your subconscious knows you very well, and when you are unhappy and settling whether or not you admit it. 💔 * These relationships create unncessary stress to your nervous system 👵🏻👴🏻 (aka speeds up sickness, and creates autoimmune and other diseases) * literally affects your entire family dynamic, how you show up in realtionships and for yourself, and your life purpose * Most importantly, you deserve a happy, growing, healing relationship away from toxic individuals so you can flourish💜🌺 **Can youuu tell I love talking about thiss subject? If you’re feeling the headings are random, theyre all song title inspired.🙃 Does this sound like anyone you know or have experienced? These are only a few examples of how narcissistic personality behavior shows up, and is discussed to show examples of deception with insecure individuals so you can consider and be made aware of the effects of dangerous relationships and the options of safe decisions for yourself and your well being . It is not to demonize or hate individuals or belittle their experience or personality🧂** Thank you for reading🤎 Ashley Get full access to Ashley Reilly's: The Accountabilityy Hour at daydreamslowlyy.substack.com/subscribe

    37 min
  5. 12/10/2025

    When Young Experiences Turn into Shame & Reflecting on Thoughts to Create Positive Beliefs

    Childhood Classroom Beliefs Let’s talk about…. * how shame creeps up in seemingly harmless experiences * how it shaped my school experiences, attitudes and beliefs about myself * Also, how casually I absorbed negative beliefs about the effects of crying * and most importantly, how I let go of the belief in present time and detached it from my identity.✨ The Many Layers of Shame There’s so many situations where shame can be created and it will be unique to you, your feelings, your experiences. What damages one may not damage another: we all have different needs and desires and issues to repair, so it’s important to think of your own personal experiences where words or actions had really hurt or upset you. “Rewiring” aka Creating Positive Beliefs about Ourselves Rewiring the brain, Healing ourselves, is faster and easier than it sounds. It’s looking at how badly experiences have truly damaged us so we can move on and take the good from the situation. It sounds a bit strange: the pain fades away if you look and admit how bad it was? Absolutely. (This is a common CBT Therapy concept: Dr. David Burns (I love the book When Panic Attacks) is my favorite for this work: especially anxiety, depression, fears… he has a podcast and free tools here) (I love the book When Panic Attacks; his books are thick but extremely thorough) Treating Sickness so it Doesn’t Get Worse The same idea that applies when you’re sick, you probably treat yourself for not feeling well, applies here! ❤️‍🩹 Emotional and psychological pain is no different. (this concept applies to many situations: dont avoid things you want and need to change in order to make yourself happy🎈) When old negative beliefs come to mind and we start to shame, we can pause on our thoughts, because we are: * breathing deeply & moving slow🧘 * aware of our thoughts🧠 * asking if these thoughts are true or helpful or generous * (if the answer is no, it’s time to toss it 🗑️) The negativity fog can start to lift of “Im not treating myself nicely, and it’s time to be kind to myself.” Sometimes that means I need to cry and really grieve this belief of myself that I have been carrying around which I am letting go of. All this to say, you can create positive beliefs any time shame or negative thoughts come up for you.🤍 Thanks for reading The Accountabilityy Hour! Share & Subscribe to support my work. The Best Way to Heal is the Way you Feel is Best Give yourself grace. 🕊️ This is a basic personal reflection, and I want to address not all things can be healed in the same ways or needs more serious work, and healing is normally emotionally exhausting. If you don’t feel you can apply these steps and feel like you’re suffering with negative and persistent thoughts, it’s important to reach out to loved ones, doctors, care team, healers and therapy you trust so you are receiving all the care and support you require and would like to have, because you are the most important. Healing is a complex process and however feels best to you is the best way to go about it, and issues often need multiple tools to heal.🩵 Give yourself Grace, this winter, and everyday. 🤍 Much Love, Ashley Get full access to Ashley Reilly's: The Accountabilityy Hour at daydreamslowlyy.substack.com/subscribe

    26 min

About

A (life) process of putting your needs first so you're present in today's moments and find your fulfillments that comes from within. Welcome to a good sprinkle of accountability and understanding so we connect well with the ones we love. Thank you for coming! daydreamslowlyy.substack.com