No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women

Mary Rothwell

No Shrinking Violets is all about what it truly means for women to take up their space in the world – mind, body and spirit. Mary Rothwell, licensed therapist and certified integrative mental health practitioner, has seen women “stay small” and fit into the space in life that they have been conditioned to believe they deserve. Drawing on 35 years in the mental health field and from her perspective as a woman who was often told to "stay in your lane," Mary discusses how early experiences, society and sometimes our own limiting beliefs can convince us that living inside guardrails is the best -- or only -- option. She'll explore how to recognize our unique essential nature and how to use that to empower a new narrative.Through topics that span psychology, friendships, nature and even gut-brain health, Mary creates a space that is inspiring and authentic - where she celebrates the intuition and power of women who want to chart their own course and program their own GPS. Mary's topics will include sleep and supplements and nutrition and how to live like a plant. (Yes, you read that right - the example of plants is often the most insightful path to knowing what we truly need to feel fulfilled). She’ll talk about setting boundaries, communicating, and relationships, and explore mental health and wellness: trauma and resilience, how our food impacts our mood and the power of simple daily habits. And so much more! As a gardener, Mary knows that violets have been misjudged for centuries and are actually one of the most resilient and ecologically important plants in her native garden. Like violets, women are often underestimated, and they can even mistake their unique gifts for weaknesses. Join Mary to explore all the ways the vibrant and strong violet is an example for finding fulfillment in our own lives.

  1. 3d ago

    People-Pleasing "Nice Girls": How High-Functioning Women Learn To Abandon Themselves

    Thoughts or comments? Send us a text! You can be confident, competent, and deeply self-aware and still find yourself saying yes when you mean no, smoothing things over, and quietly disappearing in your own life. That contradiction is exactly what Mary Rothwell explores with Ludovica Colella, a CBT-trained psychotherapist and confidence coach who specializes in people pleasing, fawning, and self-abandonment for high-functioning women who are exhausted from overgiving. We dig into the real roots of “being nice,” including gender socialization, the good girl role, and the fear that comes up when you stop shrinking and step into the spotlight of your own needs. Ludovica breaks down the continuum between selfishness and people pleasing, why the middle feels so charged with guilt, and what happens to relationships when you finally set boundaries that hold. We also talk about fawning as a survival response: hypervigilance, disappearing preferences, and trying to control how you’re perceived just to feel safe. Then we get practical. If boundaries feel terrifying, we walk through CBT-informed, low-stakes experiments that build confidence without detonating your life, plus why anger is not a character flaw but a vital signal that something matters and a boundary has been crossed. If you’ve ever wondered why you keep repeating patterns you can name but can’t change, you’ll leave with language, clarity, and next steps. Subscribe for more conversations that help you take up space and share this with a friend who needs it. You can find Ludovica HERE. https://lu-cole.com/ Support the show BUY ME A COFFEE or SUPPORT ALFIE'S TREAT STASH Learn more about my book, Nature Knows: Grow and Thrive through the Wisdom of Plants HERE. Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at NSVpodcast@gmail.com.  Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!

    People-Pleasing "Nice Girls": How High-Functioning Women Learn To Abandon Themselves
  2. 6d ago

    Shake It Off: What Nature Teaches Us About Nervous System Reset

    Thoughts or comments? Send us a text! Your body is carrying more than you think, and a puppy can prove it. After seven weeks of raising Alfie and trying to decode his signals, I noticed something that changed how I look at stress: the full-body “doggy shake.” Yes, dogs shake to dry off, but they also shake after a stressful moment as a way to reset their nervous system. Once I learned that, I started seeing it everywhere on our walks, especially after sudden city noise and sensory overload. He shakes, then he trots forward. No rumination. No story. Just release.  That tiny behavior opens up a bigger conversation about nervous system regulation and stress relief. I break down the sympathetic nervous system (the part that ramps you up for danger) and the parasympathetic nervous system (the part that brings you back down). If you have ever felt shaky after a near miss or a scary moment, you have experienced the body’s natural way of discharging stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. The challenge is that modern stress is rarely a short burst followed by safety. Work pressure, hard relationships, caregiving in the sandwich generation, social media, and nonstop news can keep us stuck in high alert, which can show up as headaches, stomach issues, indigestion, and that constant keyed-up feeling.  We do not need a perfect routine to feel better, but we do need a way to offload stress physically. I share simple, realistic “human resets” you can do in minutes: a brisk walk with music to interrupt rumination, standing up and shaking, a one-song dance break behind a closed door, and a playful technique I used with college students called chicken breathing. It sounds silly, but it is effective active mindfulness because it brings you back into your body and back into the moment. If this resonates, subscribe, share with a friend who’s been carrying too much, and leave a quick review so more people can find the show. Support the show BUY ME A COFFEE or SUPPORT ALFIE'S TREAT STASH Learn more about my book, Nature Knows: Grow and Thrive through the Wisdom of Plants HERE. Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at NSVpodcast@gmail.com.  Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!

    Shake It Off: What Nature Teaches Us About Nervous System Reset
  3. Aug 13

    Emotional Regulation Doesn't Mean "Calm": The Path through Burnout, Anxiety and Shame

    Thoughts or comments? Send us a text! Emotional regulation isn’t “stay calm and never fall apart.” It’s being able to feel anger, grief, joy, fear, and everything in between while staying connected to your body and in control of what you do next. That single shift changes how we understand burnout, anxiety, and the shame so many high-achieving women carry when they can’t “just handle it.” Mary Rothwell sits down with Felicia Brown, LPC, a trauma-informed therapist, speaker, and emotional regulation coach who helps high performers break free from overthinking and productivity-based self-worth. Felicia shares the real-life catalyst behind her work: the post-COVID surge in student anxiety, the lack of rural mental health resources, and the life-altering experience of adopting three children with complex PTSD. Together we talk about why love doesn’t magically erase trauma, why healing is messy, and why your nervous system can keep scanning for danger even when your life is now safe. We also get practical. Felicia explains what “trauma-informed” actually means, how true triggers differ from everyday frustration, and why rewiring starts with safety and tiny body-based steps, not a perfect plan. We dig into guilt and rest, the myth that ambition equals burnout, and the truth that you can’t self-care your way out of a broken system. You’ll leave with simple, doable ways to start regulating today, including stacking two-minute practices into moments you already have and experimenting with doing 20% less without losing your edge. Subscribe, share this with a woman who needs permission to breathe, and leave a review with the biggest takeaway you want to remember. You can find Felicia HERE https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/felicia-brown-streator-il/1461420 Support the show BUY ME A COFFEE or SUPPORT ALFIE'S TREAT STASH Learn more about my book, Nature Knows: Grow and Thrive through the Wisdom of Plants HERE. Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at NSVpodcast@gmail.com.  Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!

    Emotional Regulation Doesn't Mean "Calm": The Path through Burnout, Anxiety and Shame
  4. Aug 10

    When We Stop Shrinking: Staying Strong through Vulnerability

    Thoughts or comments? Send us a text! One anonymous one-star rating on Amazon threw me off for days and the weird part is how fast it made me forget the real, thoughtful reviews from people who actually read the book. That moment turned into a sharp lesson about negativity bias, visibility, and why “non-feedback” can feel louder than the truth. I walk through the difference between constructive criticism and faceless criticism. Real feedback has specifics, context, and some honest intent behind it, even when it’s uncomfortable. Noise is anonymous, cheap, and designed to land without offering anything you can use. If you write, create, lead, post online, or set boundaries in your personal life, learning to tell signal from noise is a core self-trust skill. Then we go deeper into the theme I talk about all the time: taking up space. When you become more authentic, you become more visible, and visibility invites reaction. That’s where people pleasing shows up, the habit of reading the room, trying to prevent anger, and managing everyone’s feelings at the cost of your own health and voice. The takeaway I’m holding onto is simple: you get to decide what it means, you can step over what doesn’t serve you, and you can keep going. If this resonates, subscribe, share the episode with a friend who’s learning to stop people pleasing, and leave a review so more listeners can find No Shrinking Violets. What’s one piece of “noise” you’re ready to discard today? Support the show BUY ME A COFFEE or SUPPORT ALFIE'S TREAT STASH Learn more about my book, Nature Knows: Grow and Thrive through the Wisdom of Plants HERE. Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at NSVpodcast@gmail.com.  Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!

    When We Stop Shrinking: Staying Strong through Vulnerability
  5. Aug 6

    Barriers to Promotion: Addressing the Articulation Gap at Work

    Thoughts or comments? Send us a text! If you’ve ever watched a less qualified coworker get promoted while you quietly held everything together, you’re not imagining it and you’re not alone. We dig into the real reason high-performing women get overlooked even when they’re delivering results: what career coach Rosie Zelinskis calls the articulation gap, the space between the impact you create and what leadership actually sees and rewards. Rosie shares her wake-up call after a blunt message from a supervisor and explains why the usual advice to “be more confident” misses the mark for experienced professionals. Instead, she breaks down a practical, repeatable framework built on three pillars: clarity (measuring your work in real numbers), composure (preparing to talk about your impact using a simple story vault), and conviction (owning your expertise and making decisions like you belong). We also unpack how unmeasured labor and constant rescuing can bury your best work, and why alignment with company goals matters if you want your performance reviews to reflect your true value. You’ll leave with concrete ways to translate task language into impact language, identify metrics even in roles that feel hard to quantify, and advocate for recognition without sounding forced or boastful. If you’re ready to stop waiting to be noticed and start being rewarded for what you contribute, listen now and share this with a woman who needs it.  You can find Rosie HERE https://nowomanleftbehind.com/ Support the show BUY ME A COFFEE or SUPPORT ALFIE'S TREAT STASH Learn more about my book, Nature Knows: Grow and Thrive through the Wisdom of Plants HERE. Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at NSVpodcast@gmail.com.  Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!

    Barriers to Promotion: Addressing the Articulation Gap at Work
  6. Aug 3

    Zoom In: The Power of "Right Now" in Taming Anxiety and Building Success

    Thoughts or comments? Send us a text! Your brain loves to leap ahead and ask the scariest question possible: “If I’m struggling right now, what does that mean about the future?” I’m sharing a small but powerful reset that helps me cut through anxiety fast: zoom in on the challenge directly in front of you and stop borrowing trouble from tomorrow. The idea comes from a column by Heidi Stevens, and it lands because it’s practical, not preachy.  We talk about a marathon training moment that captures the spiral perfectly. When a 10-mile run feels brutal, it’s tempting to jump to “How will I ever run 26?” But you don’t need to run 26 miles today. You need to run the mile you’re in. That same reframing works for career decisions, college majors, parenting seasons, and any situation where pressure turns into paralysis. I also unpack why “wrong choices” are often just information, and why changing direction can be a sign of learning, not failure.  Then I bring it home with real life: our high-energy puppy Alfie, the puppy blues, the chewing and digging, and the sleep-deprived feeling that it might never end. What helped wasn’t predicting the next three months, it was building support, creating structure, and focusing on getting through today with a sense of humor. If you’re looking for mindfulness that actually works, plus a grounded take on decision anxiety, resilience, and living in the moment, this mini episode is for you.  Subscribe, share this with a friend who’s overwhelmed, and leave a review with the question you’re trying to answer right now. Support the show BUY ME A COFFEE or SUPPORT ALFIE'S TREAT STASH Learn more about my book, Nature Knows: Grow and Thrive through the Wisdom of Plants HERE. Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at NSVpodcast@gmail.com.  Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!

    Zoom In: The Power of "Right Now" in Taming Anxiety and Building Success
  7. Jul 30

    Fired To Inspired: Rejection as Motivation

    Thoughts or comments? Send us a text! Getting fired can feel like public failure, private grief, and a full-body identity crisis all at once. I know that kind of rupture, and that’s why this conversation lands so deeply. In this episode, Merry Korn, founder of Pearl Interactive Network, talks about how a career collapse can become the moment you finally stop shrinking and start building a life that fits who you are. We don’t treat reinvention like a motivational poster. We name the humiliation, the fear about money, and the way rejection can hit old wounds you didn’t even realize were still tender.  Merry shares the flashbulb moment that changed everything: taking a job that felt wrong from day one and then being fired just two months later as a single mom. From there, she walks us through the practical method that created real momentum when she had no bandwidth to “wait and see” for the right opportunity. The centerpiece is informational interviews, a structured way to gather clarity, build relationships, and turn uncertainty into a plan. If you’re stuck in career stagnation, burned out, or quietly unengaged, this approach is actionable and repeatable.  We also go deeper into resilience, trauma, and the surprising ways the past can live in the present. We talk epigenetics in plain language, inherited stress responses, and Merry’s family history connected to Holocaust survival. That thread connects directly to her mission-driven business: a for-profit social enterprise that prioritizes hiring people with the greatest barriers to work, including disabled veterans and people with disabilities. If this conversation helps you, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs a reset, and leave a review so more people can find the show. You can find Merry HERE https://firedtoinspired.com/ Books mentioned in this episode:  The Artist's Way - Julia Cameron The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle Support the show BUY ME A COFFEE or SUPPORT ALFIE'S TREAT STASH Learn more about my book, Nature Knows: Grow and Thrive through the Wisdom of Plants HERE. Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at NSVpodcast@gmail.com.  Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!

    Fired To Inspired: Rejection as Motivation
  8. Jul 27

    Tough Love & Consequences: Raising Resilient Children

    Thoughts or comments? Send us a text! We sit with the messy truth of tough love and why letting natural consequences happen can be the most loving path to resilience. We also face parenting guilt head-on and separate what we can influence from what is shaped by DNA, boundaries, and our kids’ own choices.  • defining tough love as guidance with limits  • why natural consequences teach faster than nagging  • how smoothing the path blocks grit and confidence  • helicopter parenting and the struggle to navigate adulthood  • boundaries, rules, and honest conversations that stay compassionate  • nature versus nurture and why perfect parenting is impossible  • radical acceptance when a child keeps struggling  • supporting adult children without enabling  • a personal story about addiction, guilt, and consequences  If you have thoughts about this, I would love to hear your input. Use the link in the show notes to send a typed or voice text. Support the show BUY ME A COFFEE or SUPPORT ALFIE'S TREAT STASH Learn more about my book, Nature Knows: Grow and Thrive through the Wisdom of Plants HERE. Comments about this episode? Suggestions for a future episode? Email me directly at NSVpodcast@gmail.com.  Want to be a guest on No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women? Send Mary Rothwell a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/noshrinkingviolets Follow me on Facebook and Instagram, and check out my website!

    Tough Love & Consequences: Raising Resilient Children
5
out of 5
15 Ratings

About

No Shrinking Violets is all about what it truly means for women to take up their space in the world – mind, body and spirit. Mary Rothwell, licensed therapist and certified integrative mental health practitioner, has seen women “stay small” and fit into the space in life that they have been conditioned to believe they deserve. Drawing on 35 years in the mental health field and from her perspective as a woman who was often told to "stay in your lane," Mary discusses how early experiences, society and sometimes our own limiting beliefs can convince us that living inside guardrails is the best -- or only -- option. She'll explore how to recognize our unique essential nature and how to use that to empower a new narrative.Through topics that span psychology, friendships, nature and even gut-brain health, Mary creates a space that is inspiring and authentic - where she celebrates the intuition and power of women who want to chart their own course and program their own GPS. Mary's topics will include sleep and supplements and nutrition and how to live like a plant. (Yes, you read that right - the example of plants is often the most insightful path to knowing what we truly need to feel fulfilled). She’ll talk about setting boundaries, communicating, and relationships, and explore mental health and wellness: trauma and resilience, how our food impacts our mood and the power of simple daily habits. And so much more! As a gardener, Mary knows that violets have been misjudged for centuries and are actually one of the most resilient and ecologically important plants in her native garden. Like violets, women are often underestimated, and they can even mistake their unique gifts for weaknesses. Join Mary to explore all the ways the vibrant and strong violet is an example for finding fulfillment in our own lives.

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