Normalizing Non-Monogamy - Personal Stories of Polyamory, Swinging, and Beyond

Emma and Fin
  • 4.6 (280)
  • SEXUALITY
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Hi! We’re your hosts Emma and Fin! We’re a married couple in our late thirties and we’ve been exploring non-monogamy in different ways since nearly the beginning of our relationship more than twenty years ago. But, this podcast isn’t about us… We strongly believe there isn’t a “right way” to be non-monogamous or even that non-monogamy is better or more evolved than monogamy or any other relationship style. Every week we interview people from across the spectrums of gender, sexuality, and relationship style to learn from their incredible and powerful personal stories.  Each episode is a unique perspective and personal story… Pick one that sounds interesting and give it a listen! We hope that by sharing the amazing journeys of those who are redefining and pushing the limits of what’s possible in relationships that we can show people that they’re not alone and inspire us all to embrace our true selves so that, together, we can open minds and live authentically without shame.

  1. 5D AGO

    Ep 425 - Marcia

    When Marcia’s high school boyfriend left for college they decided to try opening their relationship… However, it was the late nineties in Georgia so there weren’t many resources or support available for anyone exploring non-traditional relationships or their sexuality and queerness. But that didn’t stop her! It’s now been over 25 years and Marcia still hasn’t been in a monogamous relationship unless you count that time she was forced into it by the pandemic.  One of the main themes of Marcia’s story is her focus on friendship as the foundation for all of her connections. Over the years Marcia has explored many different relationship styles and dynamics as she’s deconstructed norms and figured out who she is and what she wants. This conversation is full of powerful wisdom and insight Marcia has learned along the way. We hope you enjoy this interview as much as we did. Marcia Baczynski is an internationally-recognized coach, writer and presenter on sexual communication, boundaries, consent and desire. Her primary mission is to help adults who want more connection and intimacy to overcome shame and get in touch with what they truly want – romantically, sexually and relationally – even if it’s off the beaten path. You can learn more about Marcia and all of her work by checking out her website! Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

    1h 20m

  2. 12/24/2025

    Ep 424 - Jill

    Jill is in her mid-forties and has just come through a really big transition in life after recently ending her longterm partnership and marriage. Non-monogamy is fairly new for her as well and while she feels that it’s part of her identity and who she is, her life circumstances don’t really allow her to explore these parts of herself very often.  This is such a moving conversation as Jill talks about the challenges of exploring herself and finding romantic and sexual connections while living in a rural and conservative small town. She’s had to get really creative in how she gets her needs met and she shares with us how she’s currently focusing on emotionally intimate and deep platonic friendships in the absence of opportunities to explore in other ways.  Jill also sticks around to share some laughs with us as we answer some bonus questions together! This is a wonderful interview and we hope you enjoy it as much as we did! Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

    1h 28m

  3. 12/17/2025

    Ep 423 - Megan

    Megan has been exploring various flavors and styles of non-monogamy for most of her adult life and one of the things we love about her story is that it hasn't been a linear path. Like many of us, she grew up surrounded by the influences of mononormativity and while she never cheated, she always felt an internal discomfort with how monogamy worked and with all of the rules that came with it. As Megan shares her story today she digs into many of the things she's learned along the way... We talk about her approach to hierarchy and relationship agreements, the importance of erotic autonomy, transitioning from friends to lovers (and back again), and so much more! Overall, this is a fantastic conversation about the power of living your life and having relationships in ways that differ from what we're taught is the "right way." You'll pick up on Megan's passion pretty quickly and it's no surprise she's turned helping people navigate non-monogamy into her career! Megan is a relationship coach and teacher of erotic autonomy who loves helping people create and sustain the consensually non-monogamous relationships they desire while retaining a sense of erotic autonomy in order to live more meaningful lives. You can learn more about Megan and her work on her website! Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

    1h 16m

  4. 12/10/2025

    Ep 422 - Kevin: Round 2

    When we first talked to Kevin on Episode 45 he’d been married for over a decade and he was in a handful of new-ish relationships. Nearly seven years later, he’s been married over 20 years and describes himself as being in all of the longest relationships he’s ever been in. Join us today for a wonderful conversation with Kevin about how he’s fostered stability and longevity in his polyamorous relationships for himself, his partners, and his whole family. You may recognize Kevin Patterson as the author of Love's Not Color Blind: Race and Representation in Polyamorous and Other Alternative Communities, which came out in 2018, and as the creator of Poly Role Models, which was a weekly Tumblr page that told the poly origin stories of people from around the world. Kevin is also the author of the “For Hire” science fiction series. He published his latest book in the series earlier this year called “For Hire: The Price of Fame.” You can learn more about Kevin and all of his work on his website. Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

    55 min

  5. 12/03/2025

    Ep 421 - Elaine

    When Elaine first started dating she fell in love with multiple people pretty much right away and felt so much shame about it that it drove her to end the relationship she was in. She tried serial monogamy for a while and then in college she had her first threesome with her best friend and her best friend’s boyfriend… Her mind was blown and a whole new world opened up for her that she didn’t know was possible! Today, Elaine is a happily married polyamorous woman in her thirties diving into as many of the adventures life has to offer as she can! Her excitement and passion for exploring human connection, sexuality, and relationships is infectious and she describes her polyamorous relationships as the most easeful she’s ever experienced because she can finally just be herself! Of course, it hasn’t necessarily been easy getting to where she is and throughout this powerful conversation she talks about many of the challenges she’s faced along the way. Threesomes weren’t just Elaine’s gateway into polyamory, they were incredibly healing for her and now she’s on a mission to help others have better threesomes as well! Today, Elaine works as a Threesome Facilitator, taking couples on threesome journeys that transform fantasy into profound connection. With years of experience navigating triads and polycules, she specializes in creating playful, trust-building spaces where couples can explore together safely. Her approach is all about deepening connection, building compersion, and helping couples have the kind of transformative experiences that changed her own life. You can learn more about Elaine and her work on her website! Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

    1h 26m

  6. 11/26/2025

    Ep 420 - Jacob + Josh

    Jacob and Josh are both from Puerto Rico and met about 17 years ago while working together on a film project and began dating… Sort of. As you’ll hear, they’ve spent a lot of their relationship exploring the grey zones of relationships. Their own relationship started out a bit ambiguously and their explorations with others often fell in the blurry area between friends, hookups, and boyfriends. We absolutely love how Josh and Jacob share their journey together with us in such an honest and vulnerable way. They’re not here to pretend like everything they’ve done is perfect but rather they dig into the messy humanness of figuring out love and relationships as life swirled around them. They've learned so much about themselves along the way and they're still constantly striving to discover new ways to show up better for themselves and one another. This is a really beautiful and powerful story and we hope you enjoy it as much as we did! Jacob and Josh are also working on a new film project called “Three of Swords” which will begin production in the spring of 2026. You can learn more about Jacob, Josh, and their new film over at threeofswordsfilm.com. Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

    1h 19m

  7. 11/19/2025

    Ep 419 - Nicole (Modern Anarchy)

    Nicole was raised inside conservative and fundamentalist Christianity and can remember feeling her first inklings of her own queerness in elementary school but knew she had to shut it down and hide it. The fear and shame of becoming broken and invaluable as a woman ruled her life for many years. Healing and recovering from trauma is a lifelong journey and practice that Nicole has dedicated herself to both personally and professionally. Join us today as Nicole shares her incredibly powerful story of transformation and liberation in breaking free from the grips of religious dogma to reclaim her life, her body, and her right to feel pleasure again.  The way Nicole currently describes her life on her website is so beautiful and we hope you find her story as inspiring as we did! “Today, I live a life that once felt unreachable: surrounded by loving, supportive partners in queer, polyamorous connection, educating the world about pleasure and consent, supporting clients in profound transformation, providing psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy, and inviting you into the continued exploration.” Nicole is a sex and relationship therapist, the founder of The Pleasure Practice, and the host of the Modern Anarchy podcast! Her work weaves together somatic psychology, trauma-informed care, liberation-based theory, and her advanced clinical training in psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy and certification in Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy. Check out Nicole’s website for more information about her work! Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

    1h 33m

  8. 11/12/2025

    Ep 418 - Matt

    Matt was first introduced to non-monogamy about 15 years ago when he moved to the San Francisco area and saw how his friends were exploring open relationships and polyamory… He’d sort of naturally been loving everybody in an open-hearted way but had no idea what was possible! In our lovely conversation today, Matt takes us through his journey of learning about himself by exploring various relationship styles over the years. We also dive into the powerful impact that play parties have had on him and not just as a pathway for learning about consent and finding community, but also in meeting some of the needs that he’d historically met through partnerships. Matt’s passion for building community, creating incredible play parties, and continuing to grow and learn along the way is infectious and we hope you enjoy this interview as much as we did! A bit more about Matt straight from his website! Matt Sturm is a guide for transformational experiences and an author. He works with people to slow down, to come into their bodies, and to connect to their innate inner wisdom. Matt holds a strong, clear container for healing, intimacy, and spiritual awakening within a variety of contexts. These include psychotherapy, psychedelic-assisted therapy, sacred sexuality, breathwork journeys, and men’s retreats. He runs the Living Kosmos integral mystery school based on his deck, the Living Kosmos tarot. He is the author of two books The Organic Masculine, and Primal Drives – both are integral and archetypal workbooks on masculinity. You can learn more about Matt and all of work over on his website at mattsturm.com. Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

    1h 22m
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About

Hi! We’re your hosts Emma and Fin! We’re a married couple in our late thirties and we’ve been exploring non-monogamy in different ways since nearly the beginning of our relationship more than twenty years ago. But, this podcast isn’t about us… We strongly believe there isn’t a “right way” to be non-monogamous or even that non-monogamy is better or more evolved than monogamy or any other relationship style. Every week we interview people from across the spectrums of gender, sexuality, and relationship style to learn from their incredible and powerful personal stories.  Each episode is a unique perspective and personal story… Pick one that sounds interesting and give it a listen! We hope that by sharing the amazing journeys of those who are redefining and pushing the limits of what’s possible in relationships that we can show people that they’re not alone and inspire us all to embrace our true selves so that, together, we can open minds and live authentically without shame.

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