Not for Children

Bryan Kashon & Carolina Rios
  • 5.0 (2)
  • FILM REVIEWS

The sweetest, nihilistic film-review, comedy, parenting, gameshow podcast you'll ever hear. Your hosts (Bryan Kashon and Carolina Rios) watch a kid's movie, talk about it, and try to ignore the fact that they won't ever get that time back. Join us every week, and reach us at notforchildrenpodcast@gmail.com

  1. Not for Children Ep. 42 - Date and Time of Your Bug Death

    11/24/2021

    Not for Children Ep. 42 - Date and Time of Your Bug Death

    We welcome ourselves back to the fray with a not-so-creepy-crawly episode. Imagine you're a bug. Now, imagine yourself under the foot of a larger, more aggressive bug. Are they voiced by a Kevin who shall not be named? Looks like you're in trouble now! Join us this week as we explore 1998's "A Bug's Life," find flaws in the smallest of heroes, pit lovers against each other, and calculate the exact date, time, and cause of our alter-earth bug deaths. notforchildrenpodcast@gmail.com

    58 min
  2. Not for Children Ep. 41 - Give Me My Egg, Ya Stupid Monkey

    11/10/2021

    Not for Children Ep. 41 - Give Me My Egg, Ya Stupid Monkey

    It's been a busy couple of weeks which means we rewarded ourselves with probably one of the grossest films of the early 2000s. It's not gross in a cringe way (unless you're Carolina). Rather, it's gross in the same way that a glass of somebody else's sweat would be gross: body/excretion humor because the low hanging fruit was already on the floor. Yuck it up with us as we endure 2001's "Osmosis Jones," do away with excess plot recap, pit partner vs. partner, and ask for just one likeable dad.

    1h 4m
  3. Not for Children Ep. 40.5 - Alas, the Universe Said No

    11/03/2021 · BONUS

    Not for Children Ep. 40.5 - Alas, the Universe Said No

    Hey All! Sorry to say but no episode today and potentially this week. A family emergency struck without warning (as most emergencies do) so we had to pack our bags and head down to San Diego. I tried to talk Lina into bringing the equipment, but then I realized I was trying to convince myself so it didn't work out. I hope you enjoy my dulcet tones. Try and watch the flick before we talk about it so you're not left in the dark. We're changing things up ever so slightly. Thank you all again!

    4 min
  4. Not for Children Ep. 40 - Oof... Right in the Crystal Ball

    10/27/2021

    Not for Children Ep. 40 - Oof... Right in the Crystal Ball

    There's a point in this film where you're introduced to a distant relative who can only say "I put my hand inside a toilet," and that's the tone you need to confront and welcome. We've watched this before, so we've actually sacrificed twice as much time to this film. There's nothing we can do about it now, though. Join us as we waltz through 2017's "A Witches' Ball," discover Carolina doesn't know what dubstep is, and have ourselves a good, ole' fashioned mom fight. notforchildrenpodcast@gmail.com

    1h 3m
  5. Not for Children Ep. 39 - This Is All Your Fault, Chowder

    10/20/2021

    Not for Children Ep. 39 - This Is All Your Fault, Chowder

    If you're looking for a real spook then you have to listen until the very end where Bryan gets genuinely scared by his daughter because she's quiet and filled with terror. But on a real level what don't ghosts haunt? My DM's for one... Spooky come back I didn't mean what I said about the holy water! Shiver with us this week as we watch 2006's "Monster House," do our best at making a better tag line, point out more children's movie tropes, and change the game. notforchildrenpodcast@gmail.com

    1h 2m
  6. Not for Children Ep. 38 - Nightbooks, Or: Another Story About the Power of Reading

    10/13/2021

    Not for Children Ep. 38 - Nightbooks, Or: Another Story About the Power of Reading

    Right up front, y'all: This one has major spoilers. To date this is probably the newest movie we've watched. Altogether we really enjoyed ourselves and it's really early in the morning right now so my brain is still too tired to come up with something clever. There is a naked, invisible cat in this one if that cranks your gears at all. Join us as we watch 2021's "Nightbooks," sidestep into a corpse plant, and realize that sometimes witches do be crazy. notforchildrenpodcast@gmail.com @childrenpod

    1h 9m
  7. Not for Children Ep. 37 - Spooky, Cousin-Based Emotional Trauma

    10/06/2021

    Not for Children Ep. 37 - Spooky, Cousin-Based Emotional Trauma

    We watched another fun one, gang. More fun than a bunch of capitalistic bears patronizing me and my hedonistic tendencies. Hopefully you are all in the spooky mood, because it's Spooktober and we're doing an absolute Autumnal vibe check. Join us as we shiver through 2003's "Scary Godmother: Halloween Spooktacular," analyze the fun side of childhood terror, make old friends fight, and feel the fall surround us. notforchildrenpodcast@gmail.com @childrenpod

    1h 8m
  8. Not for Children Ep. 36 - Care Bear Death Squad

    09/29/2021

    Not for Children Ep. 36 - Care Bear Death Squad

    Was trying to avoid the lateness of this episode but I think its inevitable. The Care Bears heard our diss track, came into our home, and locked us in a hell dimension until we understood the importance of having a true message hollowed out and bastardized by capitalism. Join us this week as we endure 2004's "The Care Bear's Big Wish Movie," point out undead fluff, ask about Wish Bear's attempts at freeing them from eternal curses, and just feel the slog. notforchildrenpodcast@gmail.com @childrenpod

    1h 9m
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5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

The sweetest, nihilistic film-review, comedy, parenting, gameshow podcast you'll ever hear. Your hosts (Bryan Kashon and Carolina Rios) watch a kid's movie, talk about it, and try to ignore the fact that they won't ever get that time back. Join us every week, and reach us at notforchildrenpodcast@gmail.com

Information

  • Creator
    Bryan Kashon & Carolina Rios
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    43
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Show Website
    Not for Children