86 episodes

Honest conversations about family, friendship, marriage, and motherhood, while not taking life so seriously because PERFECT IS LAME!

NOT SO Darlin PODCAST Tonya Phillips

    • Education
    • 4.9 • 39 Ratings

Honest conversations about family, friendship, marriage, and motherhood, while not taking life so seriously because PERFECT IS LAME!

    Yes it’s me & I’m back b*tches!

    Yes it’s me & I’m back b*tches!

    I’m coming to you with a quick update on my time away from the mic with a mini NSD podcast episode so don’t count me out just yet. Why you ask? Because I will be releasing a couple of new episodes:

    - 40 things we’ve learned at 40
    - What about your friends?

    And hopefully a few more because who better to discuss the above titles with than my NSD girls? The Girly Girls, SAS, The Tommy Girls, The Clueless Crew, The Click, and My #1, are just a few titles we're known as.

    Stay tuned for more, & for those friends that are reading this join my 'perfect is lame' crew & be a guest! You have my # 😉

    💕, your girl Tonya

    • 5 min
    Meet Jessie VO, the "Crazy" Confidence Builder

    Meet Jessie VO, the "Crazy" Confidence Builder

    This week's NSD guest is on a mission to help women create the confidence they need to live their dream lives and accept who they are (sounds pretty darn good, huh?). But even more so, her goal is to make us all loud and proud about it!

    Throughout her professional career she's styled for brands, magazines, you name it, and also created makeovers which led to her career as a model agent and model coach. She taught models how to walk, how to dress, and how to act confidently in castings and on photoshoots.

    But on the inside she hid a dirty little secret: she felt UGLY pretty much her whole life and didn't love or value herself as she knew she should. Sounds crazy but it's true. Weirdly enough, that didn't stop her from chasing her dreams. However, one day she put a stop to it all and started anew.

    Listen in on our conversation as she tells me how she re-blossomed and now helps female solopreneurs ditch the jitters and confidently dominate any stage they're ready to walk. You can also follow her on social media at instagram.com/_jessievo_/ and

    • 41 min
    Building a community of believers: Meet Rachel Kerr

    Building a community of believers: Meet Rachel Kerr

    After hosting a women’s empowerment event in Louisville last year, I quickly became a huge fan of my next guest's mission to create a space where women with shared values can come together, motivate one another, and truly believe in themselves. Leaving that event, attended by so many like-minded women just like me, I was overjoyed, inspired and hungry for more. So much so that I became a brand ambassador for the organization itself, The Beauty Boost!

    Rachel Kerr is the Founder of https://www.thebeautyboost.net/louisville and who for many years searched for a community of inspiring and motivating women but couldn’t seem to find just what she needed. Enter The Beauty Boost, an exciting series of weekend retreats she established where women freely and openly participate and come back feeling like they can conquer the world! These healthy fitness and empowerment events are beyond exhilarating and I promise once you listen to our conversation, you'll feel energized, recharged, and just like me after that first event, totally ready to rule! For more about The Beauty Boost Louisville follow on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/thebeautyboost_louisville/.

    • 20 min
    Beam us up Kaitlin!

    Beam us up Kaitlin!

    I'm totally psyched to share this week's NSD broadcast with my guest Kaitlin Anthony, a life coach who pulls no punches when it comes to helping women take total charge of their lives. With 10+ years of coaching experience, she gives her all when it comes to helping women trade in their "stress for swagger" as she so accurately states. Our conversation covers an array of topics and include how to navigate being a divorced mom, the myriad ways to uplift other women, our takes on style and fashion (c'mon, I gotta be me!), and being a no-hold-barred female podcaster in 2022. And not for nothing, Kaitlin also educated me on what pronouns to use when addressing someone - whether it's her, him, they, or them, after my initial not so darlin faux pas moment with her - when she showed me a heckuva lot of grace and understanding. This take-charge lady has built a community who show up for her "beam hive", which addresses women of all ages and stages of life. I promise you're going to enjoy our chat and be sure to check Kaitlin out on The Beam Life podcast (link https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-beam-life/id1488275371) and her other social/outreach channels at https://linktr.ee/thebeamlife.

    • 43 min
    I'm ready with Jetty, are you? Join us!

    I'm ready with Jetty, are you? Join us!

    Jetty Nieuwenhuis is a professional speaker, wellness advocate and model. As CEO of her company Trujetty, www.trujetty.com/, she uses her personal stories of invisible illnesses - bulimia, Lyme Disease, and depression — to help women wake up from a life on autopilot to unapologetically go after their most burning desires. Jetty is an IAWP Health/Wellness coach, holds certifications in makeup artistry and image consulting, and has successfully completed two Ironman (I personally think that moniker should be changed to IronPERSON, BTW) competitions.

    Rebelling against the perfectly curated influencer image of so so many other women online circa 2022 - complete with ridiculously unattainable standards- she focuses on the real-life contradictions many of us face. From fab fashion over 40; beauty ideals without the heavy edit (bye bye face filters); and having enough while still wanting more, Jetty brings it. Listen to our conversation & you'll be an instant convert to her way of thinking, I promise!

    • 51 min
    Social Study: Meet Real-Life Ray of Hope Jess Hoeper

    Social Study: Meet Real-Life Ray of Hope Jess Hoeper

    Have you ever wondered what goes on in a social worker's mind? Have you ever, intentionally or unintentionally, passed judgment on a parent whose children are under the care of the state? I have - for better or worse - and I believe that most of us to some degree have been conditioned to think that way for some reason...until I met Jess Hoeper. That said, and as a mother and a parent, I was more than ready to learn more and talk with her in depth about her mission for all of us to 'un-condition' our minds.

    Personally Jess is a mother of five who resides with her husband and family in central Minnesota. Professionally she is a licensed independent social worker with 15+ years of human service experience, specializing in child welfare. Jess’s passion is, as she says, "curating curiosity and spending time in wonder". She owns and operates her own human services consulting/training company, Ray of Hope LLC, offering Reflective Coaching to human service professionals nationally. Through her years of experience Jess became keenly aware that the only tangible tool available to actually fine tune those in the social work sector is the professional herself or himself, with professional development focusing on developing that person. Her methodologies to reach that goal include guiding these professional to self-awareness in their work, and rooting them with a deeper understanding of the honor it is to work with those receiving social services.

    I urge you to listen in on our eye-opening conversation that digs deep into the world of social work and its impact on children and parents alike, what Reflective Coaching is all about, and how Jess came to realize that the key to helping others is all about H.O.P.E. (the word and the acronym). And for more information about Jess and Ray of Hope LLC, visit rayofhopereflectivecoaching.com, and follow her on Instagram at instagram.com/reflective_coaching/ and Facebook at facebook.com/jrhoeper.

    • 41 min

Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5
39 Ratings

39 Ratings

Wahldo ,

Tonya talks about real subjects

Let’s face it ladies, life is messy. What we see on Instagram is the highlights of life. That’s not real. Tonya digs into the topics we all want to hear and talk about. Love her and what she’s doing!

rtd78 ,


I had the honor of being a guest on Tonya’s podcast and wow - she is simply amazing. She is genuine, warm and funny + asks real and honest questions. She is a strong voice for women - especially women over 40. I’m a huge fan!

DougMc2012 ,

Not just for women!

I like to listen when I walk my dogs. Tonya asks the questions her listeners would ask. She mixes her questions with her own diatribes so we get to know her better as well as the guests and the subjects they delve into. Yes it is geared towards women issues but as a man it’s always good to know what the other half is up to! If you have between 30 and 60 mins you want to learn something new and interesting check this Notsodarlin out.

Doug M.

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