Not Your Typical Leadership Coaching Podcast Bill Tierney & Martin Kettelhut

The podcast episode delves into the challenges faced by adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families, emphasizing leadership. Bill and Marty discuss integrating Internal Family Systems (IFS) model and listening skills to address and heal adult children's parts that remain stuck in past traumas. They explore the concept of adult children, referencing ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) workbooks and sharing insights from a 90-minute IFS workshop. The discussion includes identifying behaviors from unresolved childhood issues, the impact on effective leadership, and the role of self-awareness in healing. They highlight how understanding and transforming internal parts can lead to authentic, empowered leadership and improved relationships. Key aspects include the importance of healing inner critics and shame, utilizing personal and external resources for growth, and suggestions for acknowledging and working through adult child challenges.

Shownotes:
00:00 Introduction to the Podcast and Adult Children Leadership
01:24 Exploring the Concept of Adult Children and IFS
01:54 Insights from the IFS Workshop for Adult Children
02:33 Defining Adult Child and Discussing the ACE Score
05:01 The Impact of Childhood Trauma on Leadership
13:11 Understanding and Healing the Inner Critic
24:56 Practical Steps to Healing and Transformation
27:33 Conclusion and Resources for Further Help
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Links and Resources:
• Adult Children of Alcoholics®& Dysfunctional Families - https://adultchildren.org/
• Learn more about IFS Coaching with Bill Tierney at ⁠⁠⁠www.billtierneycoaching.com⁠⁠⁠
• Learn more about coaching with Martin Kettelhut at ⁠⁠⁠www.listeningisthekey.com⁠⁠⁠
• Learn more about IFS at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.IFS-institute.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this episode, we explore the concept of adult children - adults who carry behaviors and traumas from their childhoods, especially from dysfunctional families or those with alcoholic parents. We delve into how these past experiences influence adult behavior, affect personal and professional relationships, and impede effective leadership. Marty and I highlight the importance of self-awareness and self-leadership for overcoming these challenges. The discussion also touches on the 'laundry list' of traits common among adult children and its implications for leadership and personal growth.

Show notes:
00:00 Introduction to Adult Children and Leadership
00:59 Exploring the Origins and Impact of Adult Children
04:30 The Laundry List: Identifying Common Traits
06:53 Leadership Challenges and Solutions for Adult Children
09:55 Personal Stories and Insights on Overcoming Dysfunction
17:40 Concluding Thoughts and Encouragement
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Links and Resources:
• Adult Children of Alcoholics®& Dysfunctional Families - ⁠https://adultchildren.org/⁠
• Learn more about IFS Coaching with Bill Tierney at ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.billtierneycoaching.com⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Learn more about coaching with Martin Kettelhut at ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.listeningisthekey.com⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Learn more about IFS at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.IFS-institute.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

This episode features our guest, Ryan Sawyer, a Leadership Coach and former national college football coach. In this episode, we discuss

• the science and philosophy behind leadership and personal development
• psychological safety
• the power of modeling behaviors for others, particularly for young people
• the journey through stages of personal growth
• living life authentically
• serving others

Ryan also touches on his own family life and writing books, including one he wrote collaboratively with his son, Colton, called “We can do hard things.”

Quotes from this episode:

“Don’t tell them. Show them.”

“Safety increases performance.”

“The ceiling of grit is pretty low.”

“Where your attention goes, your energy flows.”

“If I am better connected with myself, I can be better connected to you.”

Show notes:

00:00 Introduction: Reflecting on Ryan Sawyer's Insights

01:46 Meet Ryan Sawyer: A Journey from Collegiate Football to Heart First Leadership

05:42 Exploring the Heart First Approach in Athletics

08:29 The Science of Safety and Performance in Sports

15:12 Adapting and Applying New Strategies for Athletes

20:38 The Importance of Modeling and Learning for Youth

22:29 Unlocking Intrinsic Motivation and Growth Mindset

23:40 The Power of Meditation and Internal Dialogue

24:44 Embracing the Process Over the Outcome

25:32 Living Free and Competing Untethered

27:46 Heart First Leadership and Personal Development

35:38 The Unveiling Process of Personal Growth

36:59 Final Thoughts on Modeling Heart First Leadership

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Links and Resources:

• IHP Coaching  https://www.ihpcoaching.com/HOME?r_done=1   
• Transcendental Meditation with Tony Nader  https://www.drtonynader.com/  
• Michael Singer https://untetheredsoul.com/ 
• Learn more about IFS Coaching with Bill Tierney at ⁠⁠⁠www.billtierneycoaching.com⁠⁠⁠
• Learn more about coaching with Martin Kettelhut at ⁠⁠⁠www.listeningisthekey.com⁠⁠⁠
• Learn more about IFS at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.IFS-institute.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this podcast episode, hosts Marty and Bill discuss the challenge of connecting with individuals with whom one deeply disagrees. They touch on political polarization, personal capacity for understanding, and strategies for improving communication across divides. Through examples like the COVID-19 pandemic and biblical interpretation, they illustrate the significance of listening and empathy in maintaining connections. The conversation also covers the roles of leadership and coaching in facilitating understanding and compromise.

For more about Michael Singer, I recommend reading his books, which include:
• ⁠⁠The Untethered Soul⁠⁠
• ⁠⁠The Surrender Experiment⁠⁠
• ⁠⁠Living Untethered⁠⁠

Show notes:
00:00 Opening Greetings and Podcasting Insights
01:21 Diving into the Topic: Connecting Despite Disagreements
01:29 Exploring Political Divides and Personal Capacities
02:57 The Bucket Analogy: Managing Capacity for Difficult Conversations
05:42 Using 'Don't Look Up' as a Metaphor for Political Division
08:34 Deep Empathy and Understanding in Conversations
11:21 Navigating Conversations on Sensitive Topics
13:53 Finding Common Ground Through Listening and Understanding
16:46 Personal Stories of Connection and Understanding
21:38 Leadership and Coaching: Guiding Towards Connection
27:18 Concluding Thoughts and Future Conversations
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Links and Resources:
• To learn more about Byron Katie, go to ⁠https://thework.com/⁠
• Learn more about IFS Coaching with Bill Tierney at ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.billtierneycoaching.com⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Learn more about coaching with Martin Kettelhut at ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.listeningisthekey.com⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Learn more about IFS at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.IFS-institute.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this episode, we are joined by two coaches who facilitate The Undaunted Man, a men’s coaching program. In our discussion, we explore the power of recognizing the power of remembering who we are. We also discuss the need for men to have an environment where it is safe to authentically connect with each other, to feel seen and understood, to encourage one another, and to develop themselves as leaders in their lives and in the world. I hope you enjoy this episode with two amazing coaches, Geoff Laughton and Mark Johnson.

Quotes from this episode:
“Nothing that can be taken from you is you.”
“If you’re not afraid, you’re not ready.”

Geoff Laughton is a Relationship Architect/Coach, multiple-International Best-Selling Author, Speaker, and Workshop Leader. He is the founder of The Undaunted Man. He has spent the last twenty-six years coaching people worldwide, with a particular passion for supporting those in relationships and helping men from all walks of life step up to their true potential.

Mark Johnson is a trusted advisor and executive coach at Pioneering Leadership and a facilitator and coach at The Undaunted Man (https://theundauntedman.com/). He has more than 25 years of experience optimizing people and companies. He blogs at The Undaunted Man's substack (https://theundauntedman.substack.com/)
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Show notes:
00:00 Introduction to Leadership Coaching with Geoff Laughton and Mark Johnson
01:14 Insights and Quotes from the Coaching Journey
03:42 Exploring the Essence of 'Undaunted'
04:53 The Process of Becoming Courageously Resolute
10:11 Personal Growth and Leadership in Men's Lives
10:31 The Evolution and Expansion of The Undaunted Man
13:00 Virtual vs. Face-to-Face: Adapting Group Dynamics
15:25 Addressing the Demand for Male-Only Spaces
20:05 Leadership and Personal Accountability in Men's Coaching
24:29 Exploring Masculine Leadership and Personal Growth
25:01 Introducing 'Leadership as Relation'
26:17 The Relational Side of Leadership
26:52 Masculine Leadership and Trust
28:03 Protector and Empowerer Roles in Leadership
29:28 Masculine and Feminine Energies in Leadership
31:06 Understanding Masculine and Feminine Energies
33:44 Balancing Masculine and Feminine Energies
37:19 Addressing Gender Roles and Spiritual Principles
42:10 Concluding Thoughts on Being Undaunted
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Links and Resources:
• The Undaunted Man website: ⁠www.theundauntedman.org⁠
• Learn more about IFS Coaching with Bill Tierney at ⁠⁠⁠www.billtierneycoaching.com⁠⁠⁠
• Learn more about coaching with Martin Kettelhut at ⁠⁠⁠www.listeningisthekey.com⁠⁠⁠
• Learn more about IFS at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.IFS-institute.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this insightful episode, Bill and Marty delve into the complexities of agreements within personal relationships. Drawing from their coaching and sponsorship experiences, they illuminate the importance of explicit agreements in fostering understanding and empowerment. Through anecdotes and reflections, Marty and Bill discuss the pitfalls of implicit agreements and assumptions, emphasizing the need for clear communication and negotiation to avoid misunderstandings. With practical tips and guidance, they empower listeners to navigate relationships effectively by embracing the power of explicit communication and mutual understanding.

1. Personal Anecdotes: Marty shares experiences from his coaching practice, illustrating how explicit agreements can create a safe space for exploration and growth. Bill supplements this with anecdotes from his mentoring experience, underscoring the challenges of implicit agreements and the need for negotiation.
2. Negotiating Agreements: Both hosts stress the importance of negotiation in establishing explicit agreements, emphasizing the need for honesty and good faith to ensure mutual understanding and respect.
3. Addressing Disconnection: The conversation shifts towards addressing disconnection in relationships and the significance of open communication and renegotiation to bridge gaps and maintain authentic connections.
4. Learnings from Past Relationships: Bill reflects on past relationships, acknowledging the pitfalls of unspoken expectations and assumptions. Marty adds to this by highlighting the need for commonality and clear communication to foster creativity and exploration within relationships.
5. Conclusion and Reflection: The episode concludes with a reflection on the value of meaningful conversations and the pivotal role of agreements in nurturing genuine connections and enabling productive interactions in both personal and professional spheres.

Links/References:
• Learn more about IFS Coaching with Bill Tierney at ⁠⁠www.billtierneycoaching.com⁠⁠
• Learn more about coaching with Martin Kettelhut at ⁠⁠www.listeningisthekey.com⁠⁠
• Learn more about IFS at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.IFS-institute.com⁠⁠⁠⁠