Now That You See It

Pancho Gomez & Kim Paull
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Kim Paull and Pancho Gomez are two curious, opinionated friends who love nothing more than to change their own minds. Now That You See It is a podcast about the moments when a belief shifts — and what's possible once it does. Each episode, they dig into the ideas, biases, and assumptions that quietly run our lives — the ones so familiar we've stopped questioning them. Sometimes a guest joins. Sometimes it's just the two of them, thinking out loud together toward something neither of them expected. They cover the hidden operating system behind everyday stuff: why we judge others faster than ourselves, how our personalities might be inherited survival strategies, what actually makes change stick, why friendships get harder when we're grown. Conversations go long because that's when the big aha moments hit. If you've ever caught yourself wondering if anyone else saw that glitch in the matrix, you're in the right place.

  1. 5H AGO

    Should I Give Up On My Dream? Live Coaching Session

    Pancho came into this episode without a ready-made insight. He came in with a problem, angst, and some half-baked thoughts. He's building a coaching practice in an economy that isn't generous to people just starting out. The feedback from clients, platforms, and recruiters is overwhelmingly positive, but his business bank account tells a different story. Somewhere in that gap, there's a frustration that doesn't quite fit the issues most people face in similar scenarios. It's not imposter syndrome or toxic productivity; it's harder to pin down and more personal. This episode is a live coaching session. Kim coaches Pancho through the paradoxical tension of failing while succeeding. They name it for what it actually is, to trace it back to the values being threatened, to find a way to hold the situation more loosely. Grief surfaces - disillusionment. The specific pain of finding the thing you believe you're here to do, only to have forces outside your control make it feel precarious. Pancho compares it to planting an orchard and watching the seedlings die. They highlight his value in optimizing for freedom and the sudden feeling of being boxed in as a result. And Pancho recognizes he's walking the line between arguing with reality and actually seeing it clearly. Though nothing about his situation changes by the end of the conversation, there's a noticeable internal shift. Once you see how hard it is to get out of your own head without another person to help, you can't unsee it. Referenced & Recommended Ideas / Resources The Overstory by Richard Powers: the novel Pancho references, about trees, generations, and the long arc of living thingsAndrea Gibson, poet: quoted by Pancho, "Even when the truth isn't hopeful, the telling of it is"; andreadgibson.comNow That You See It ep. 26 - Adulting 103: Is It Anxiety or My Personality?: the episode on imposter syndrome, toxic productivity, and related concepts referenced in this conversationNow That You See It ep. 29 - How to Navigate Change You Didn't Choose episode: the unwanted change episode referenced directly in this conversation, on allostasis, resistance, and finding a new baseline

    1h 17m

  2. 3D AGO

    How To Navigate Change You Didn't Choose

    Kim read a book she couldn't stop taking notes on. Pancho pushed back on one of its central ideas. What followed was a conversation in which we're not quite sure if we agree. The book is Masters of Change by Brad Stulberg, and the thing Kim can't unsee is this: when you're in change you didn't choose, there are ways through it that don't require becoming a different person or pretending you're fine. The concept at the center of it is allostasis, stability through change, the idea that after real disruption, you don't return to who you were. You arrive at a new baseline. And there's a window, documented and finite, right after everything falls apart, where you actually get to influence what your baseline looks like. Kim connects this to her work in health equity and the concept of weathering, how chronic stress physically ages the body, and what that means for who gets to recover well from life's upheavals and who doesn't. Pancho connects it to his own experience of getting laid off, moving into his truck at 24, and what it means to optimize for freedom in a way that makes certain kinds of loss feel less like loss. The disagreement is about suffering. The book defines suffering as time multiplied by resistance (suffering = time x resistance). Pancho isn't sure that's fair, because resistance might be inevitable. Calling suffering optional might just be setting people up to judge themselves for being human. They don't fully resolve it. But they get somewhere more honest than where they started. Referenced & Recommended Ideas / Resources Masters of Change by Brad Stulberg: the book that prompted this episode, on navigating change you didn't choose; bradstulberg.comThe concept of weathering, via Arlene Geronimus: how chronic stress physically ages the body; search "Arlene Geronimus weathering" for her researchThe Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg: the Target pregnancy algorithm story referenced in the episodeAtomic Habits by James Clear: Kim brought it up, thinking about Charles Duhigg's work. Worth mentioning, since together they are arguably the best two books on habits written in the past 20 years.Andrea Gibson, poet: quoted directly by Pancho: "Even when the truth isn't hopeful, the telling of it is"; andreadgibson.com

    1h 12m

  3. APR 17

    Pancho on 6 Habits of the Best Bosses

    Just because your coworkers trust you'll do your job doesn't mean they trust you. This episode goes deep into the practical side of Pancho's relational leadership coaching: six tools he brings into corporate teams, startups, and individual coaching engagements that consistently change how people work together. Most of them require nothing more than a shared document or a different approach to the same conversation. Each tool connects back to a throughline Pancho: the goal is employee empowerment. Teaching people to think like stakeholders, develop personal agency, and understand how their work connects to something bigger. Kim brings her own lens throughout, including the concept of mattering and the parallel between what adults need at work and what kids need at home. Referenced & Recommended Ideas / Resources Radical Candor by Kim Scott: the framework behind hard conversations at work, care personally, challenge directly - ⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmxHUiiHgNk⁠ Brené Brown on trust - ⁠https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Vaq2jMJe4mU⁠ Simon Sinek on trust - ⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ge3nrxoC_ag⁠ Carol Sanford's regenerative design thinking: the framework behind personal agency, locus of control, and external considering - ⁠https://carolsanford.com/the-regenerative-business/⁠ Dan Walker on Now That You See It, Episode 4 - ⁠https://open.spotify.com/episode/1I0ZfSCVQYqbcHGc8CSMok?si=f8744536d81d4a56⁠ Zach Mercurio, Mattering: concept of mattering vs. belonging - ⁠https://www.zachmercurio.com/the-power-of-matterin⁠g/

    1h 25m

  4. APR 9

    The Older I Get, The Less I Know with Matthew Kimberley

    Matthew Kimberley wrote a self-help book at 27 called How to Get a Grip. He was certain he had things figured out. And he's spent the last 20 years finding out how little he knew. In this episode, Matthew joins Kim and Pancho to talk about what he can't unsee: his own fallibility. It's been a gradual process: kids born with health challenges, a marriage dragged through the rocks, career swings that didn't land, and the accumulation of everything life throws at you when you stop being invincible. What fills the space left by that certainty? For Matthew, it's relationships. A personal CRM to stay in touch with the people he cares about. A Red Velvet Rope policy that protects everyone's experience. The understanding that every good thing in his career traces back to a person, not a strategy. The conversation also gets into the Dunning-Kruger effect, why Matthew has largely gone quiet on the internet, why silence isn't violence, and what it looks like to operate from hard-won wisdom instead of loud confidence. Once you see how much you don't know, you can't unknow it. But that's not necessarily a bad place to be. Concepts Explored The Dunning-Kruger effect and what it looks like from the inside looking outFallibility as a slow realization rather than a single momentRelationships as infrastructure: why Matthew traces every career win back to a person, not a strategyThe Red Velvet Rope Policy and why protecting who you work with protects everyoneReferenced & Recommended Resources Book Yourself Solid by Michael Port and Matthew Kimberley (20th anniversary edition, October 2025): the system Matthew built his coaching practice aroundThe Single Malt Mastermind: Matthew's weekly email accountability program at singlemaltmastermind.comWittgenstein's Ruler via Nassim Nicholas Taleb: if a source isn't reliable, their opinion says more about them than about the subjectmatthewkimberley.com: where to find Matthew and reach out directly

    1h 7m

  5. APR 2

    Adulting 103: Is it Anxiety or Your Personality?

    What if some of what you've always called your personality is actually anxiety in disguise? That's the thread Kim and Pancho pull on in this episode. It's genuinely hard to untangle the overlap between who you are and what your nervous system has just gotten used to doing. They look at how traits like conscientiousness, planning, and people-pleasing can be anxiety in a disguise that seems reasonable. And how, when it's been baked in long enough, it stops looking like a coping mechanism and starts looking like just... you. Pancho introduces the Hedonic Treadmill of Anxiety, the loop where unaddressed fear gets intellectualized into worst-case scenarios, generates a small dopamine hit, and keeps you spinning in hypotheticals instead of taking real action. Kim brings in the Big Five personality traits to help draw the line between what you were born with and what got layered on top. The episode introduces useful ways to distinguish between your anxiety and your personality. It's a tricky distinction to draw, and there aren't necessarily clear answers. But it's an opportunity to understand yourself and your nervous system with more nuance. Once you see that this constant anxious baseline might not be a part of who you are, you can't unsee it. Recommended Reading and Concepts to Explore ⁠Now That You See It ep 13 - Generations Ago, Your Personality Formed: Judy Hu On Epigenetics and Inherited Pain⁠⁠Joe Hudson on the experiences we avoid feeling⁠The Big 5 Personality Traits - take the test ⁠here⁠⁠The Hedonic Treadmill of Anxiety article

    1h 4m

  6. MAR 25

    Coming Out Was Never Just About Being Gay

    What happens when the version of you that has been working for so long no longer fits? This episode explores the slow process Kim took to understand herself and the resulting coming out to her friends and family. We explore how coming out is more than a process for people to publicly step into a more self-affirming sexual orientation. Coming out is a process for anyone who has to share something about their identity when there's something at stake. Whether it's coming out as gay, telling your kids about your separation, or admitting to yourself and your coworkers that you're burned out, publicly stepping into a new identity comes with risk. In this episode, we get into: The loss of being the capable, reliable oneWhy burnout can also bring clarity, not just exhaustionThe gap between knowing something needs to change and actually changing itThe tension between truth and safety, and how that shapes how we navigate these dynamicsFinally, we talk about the difficulty and cognitive dissonance of staying in a situation that no longer fits, even after coming out. Recommended Research and Reading ⁠Brené Brown’s Values Exercise⁠The Dunning-Kruger Effect and The Valley of Despair⁠Adam Grant on Languishing⁠Staying Stuck in Cognitive Dissonance

    1h 21m

  7. MAR 12

    What Am I Suffering From? with Chris Burkard, Storyteller and Photographer

    Chris has spent much of his life looking ahead. Ahead to the next race. The next film. The next goal. In this conversation, he reflects on what’s led him to slow his forward momentum. We talk about entering a three-day darkness retreat and being told, “You’re just an animal in a cage.” About what surfaces when fight-or-flight kicks in without your usual coping mechanisms. About asking yourself, What am I suffering from? We also talk about friendship and family. About showing love through acts of service, while wishing you had shown up in person more. About realizing you’ve been “on your own program” and trying to renegotiate what relationships look like at 40. And we talk about his mom. Sixteen surgeries. Moving home to be closer. The strange experience of outliving a parent. And the awareness that, eventually, the people we love become the stories we tell about them. Chris doesn’t present himself as having figured it out. He’s in it. Grateful. Regretful. Still recalibrating. After spending years looking ahead and a season looking back, he’s trying to do something simpler: Be right here. Resources Mentioned & Recommended Reading/Listening Learn more about Chris and his work ⁠https://www.chrisburkard.com/⁠Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeownSky Cave Darkness Retreats - ⁠https://www.skycaveretreats.com/⁠⁠Adulting 101: How To Make Friends as a Grownup ⁠

    1h 16m

  8. FEB 26

    The Moms Who Are Rewriting The Rules with Julie Bacon of the Mothership Collective

    Motherhood does not arrive quietly. It changes your body, your brain, your calendar, and your identity. And then the world starts treating you differently before you’ve even figured out who you are becoming. In this conversation with Julie Bacon, founder of the Mothership Collective, we discuss the identity shift of motherhood, both from within and from without. Julie shares what it was like to mountain bike while pregnant, struggle through postpartum depression, and build a community that refuses to let motherhood shrink who women are. We explore the mental load no one prepares you for, the tension of trading off freedom with a partner, and why visibility matters when it comes to pregnant bodies doing powerful things. We also unpack what happens when an eight-month pregnant climber goes viral, and the internet trolls weigh in. This episode is for all the moms out there navigating this inevitable identity shift and those in support of that journey. What does it take to stay connected to yourself when everything is changing and the world is telling you to become someone else? Resources Mentioned and Suggested Reading ⁠The Mothership Blog⁠⁠@the.mothership.collective⁠ on InstagramMatrescence by Lucy Jones⁠Identity-Based Habits⁠ by James Clear⁠Maternity Shoot Instagram post⁠

    1h 9m
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About

Kim Paull and Pancho Gomez are two curious, opinionated friends who love nothing more than to change their own minds. Now That You See It is a podcast about the moments when a belief shifts — and what's possible once it does. Each episode, they dig into the ideas, biases, and assumptions that quietly run our lives — the ones so familiar we've stopped questioning them. Sometimes a guest joins. Sometimes it's just the two of them, thinking out loud together toward something neither of them expected. They cover the hidden operating system behind everyday stuff: why we judge others faster than ourselves, how our personalities might be inherited survival strategies, what actually makes change stick, why friendships get harder when we're grown. Conversations go long because that's when the big aha moments hit. If you've ever caught yourself wondering if anyone else saw that glitch in the matrix, you're in the right place.

Information

  • Creator
    Pancho Gomez & Kim Paull
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    29
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2025 Pancho Gomez & Kim Paull
  • Show Website
    Now That You See It