Only Gets Better

Heather and Selin
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  • Society & Culture
  • Updated Biweekly

Welcome to the place where midlife is just the beginning. We’re two women with a wildly optimistic view of getting older, here to laugh loudly, dig deep, and hold space for the messy, magnificent reality of midlife. This is a podcast for women who know they’re just getting started - who crave honest conversations, unexpected insights, and the kind of supportive community that feels like a group chat with your best friends. If you’ve ever thought, “Surely there’s more to this chapter?” — you’re in exactly the right place.

  1. 4d ago

    Why Don't I Get To Be the Fun Parent?

    This week Selin got a bit of a gut-punch. She's not the fun parent. And it hurts. This week we unpack how we became default parents, even though neither of us really planned that. We talk about resentment, expectations, invisible labour, and how even in a solid, loving marriage, somehow you can end up with one parent overwhelmed while the other one is go-karting. Do we solve the problem? Not really. Do we laugh a lot and make each other feel less alone? Absolutely. If you've ever muttered "must be nice" while you watch your partner do the fun stuff, this episode is for you. Links Selin's Insta Heather's Insta Heather's Substack

  2. Aug 3

    The Olympic Sport of Not Asking for Help and Why Midlife Women Need Assisted Living

    Why is it so easy to help everyone else, but so hard to ask for help ourselves? Somewhere along the way, many of us became fiercely independent, highly capable, and completely unable to say, "Actually, I could use a hand." In this episode, we're talking about why asking for what you need is a life skill most of us never learned. If you're constantly worried about inconveniencing people, chances are you're not taking advantage of anyone. And good things tend to happen when you do ask - you may get invited to Selin's house to watch the Matildas documentary and start planning a trip to Brazil! Recommendations: Shepmates: hilarious Aussie twins who lip sync sports commentary Rubythespacegeologist: Group Chat Intelligence Agency Activities Selin's Insta Heather's Insta Heather's Substack

  3. Jul 20

    Laughing Our Way Through Mum Guilt

    Episode 12: In this one, we laugh through that motherhood universal - guilt. Because honestly, a good chat with a girlfriend is all it takes to realise none of us have it figured out and we’re all doing a pretty great job anyway. If you’ve ever worried about not serving meals everyone loves every day, not running a 24/7 curb‑to‑curb taxi service, or accidentally raising children who didn’t eat a single vegetable this week - or this month - this one’s for you. Come feel seen and gently reassured as we laugh out loud and remind ourselves that parenting is not about providing endless entertainment. And we realize - after all the worrying we do - that we don't know a single mum who isn't doing a great job. Heather's recommendation: Insta follow @wanwanluve Selin's recommendation: https://www.instagram.com/hayleymorris3 Podcast Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/onlygetsbetterpodcast⁠  Selin’s Insta: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/littlefacelens⁠  Heather’s Insta: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/progression_lab⁠  Heather’s Substack: ⁠https://substack.com/@heatherpatersonwrites⁠

  4. Jul 6

    Trucks, Unicorns, and Raising Kids

    Episode 11: Do boys naturally love trucks and girls instinctively reach for unicorns…or have we been unconsciously scripting this story all along? This week, Selin and Heather explore how we shape boys and girls—often without realising it. We say we want emotionally intelligent, grounded men… but are we actually raising them that way? Because when boys step outside the old lines—tender, expressive, vulnerable—the world doesn’t always clap. So while girls are finally being told they can be anything, we ask:have we expanded their world… while leaving boys in a shrinking one? Heather gently flips the lens at what is underneath all of this: our 10,000-year beta-test of patriarchy - and its overwhelming 1-star reviews. She introduces us to what happens when women are in charge, and it turns out that matriarchy is not about women OR men. It's about children, and we look at what happens when we put them first. Join us as we try to figure out how to make this place a little better. Selin's recommendation: https://www.instagram.com/dadgotbars Heather's recommendation: https://www.instagram.com/onlygetsbetterpodcast⁠⁠ LINKS Podcast Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/onlygetsbetterpodcast⁠  Selin’s Insta: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/littlefacelens⁠  Heather’s Insta: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/progression_lab⁠  Heather’s Substack: ⁠https://substack.com/@heatherpatersonwrites⁠

  5. Jun 22

    Derailed by Michelle Obama

    Episode 10: This episode did not go according to plan. At all. We thought we were going to talk about raising boys and girls, and the difference, if there is one. Instead, Selin casually mentioned she’d just seen Michelle Obama live… and that was the end of our whole plan. What followed was a completely unplanned (and very real) conversation about parenting, and what on earth we’re actually trying to teach our kids. We ponder: - Why teaching kids to think for themselves isn't taught in every school.- The difference between raising children to be compliant vs. capable.- And through a few personal stories we get a little emotional and conclude that kindness is magic.Heather's recommendation: Mika Ross Therapist ⁠https://www.instagram.com/mikaross.therapist Selin's recommendation: Michelle Obama (everything, but specifically her podcast) IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson | Podcast on SpotifyLinks  Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/onlygetsbetterpodcast  Selin’s Insta: https://www.instagram.com/littlefacelens  Heather’s Insta: https://www.instagram.com/progression_lab  Heather’s Substack: https://substack.com/@heatherpatersonwrites

  6. Jun 8

    We Are All Role Models - For Better or Worse

    Episode 9: We don't need a platform to be an influencer - we all have an audience - just closer to home and a lot more observant.  We dig into the difference between managers and leaders, good bosses and the ones that make you quietly update your LinkedIn. We talk about the kind that bring out your best—and the ones that make you question your life choices.  And then we go home… where the real leadership test begins.  Selin stuns us with a stat of exactly how our kids learn from us, and we realize that they don't listen, they observe.   We unpack the slightly jarring moment when your child does something and you realize - for better or worse - they got that from me. And we surmise that if you care enough to worry about whether you're a good parent, you're probably doing ok.   If you're enjoying the show, please give us a rating and review, and most importantly, follow the show so you don't miss anything.  Selin's recommendation: Maggie Dent - The Imperfects Heather's recommendation: Tony Brady Links  Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/onlygetsbetterpodcast  Selin’s Insta: https://www.instagram.com/littlefacelens  Heather’s Insta: https://www.instagram.com/progression_lab  Heather’s Substack: https://substack.com/@heatherpatersonwrites

  7. May 25

    Conditioning: The Things We Never Thought to Question

    Episode 8: In this episode, we dive headfirst into the invisible scripts running our lives — the ones we didn’t choose, didn’t question, and in many cases, didn’t even realise were optional. Not just what we’ve been taught to do and think — but the deeper, sneakier layer: What have we been taught is simply not up for debate? The difference between “I chose this” and “it never occurred to me not to.” We walk through the classic checklist: Get married, have a baby, have another baby - because that is an obvious expectation, as Selin knows all too well. The disorienting (and occasionally liberating) moment when you see someone choose differently, and realize, "Wait - you can just...DO THAT?" We also explore the subtle (and not-so-subtle) conditioning around what men and women are “supposed” to know and be.  And what happens when you underestimate a woman in a Star Wars trivia contest. This is a midlife reckoning of all the things we sleepwalked into without even thinking about it. Selin's recommendation: Jono Lancaster www.instagram.com/jonolanc Heather's recommendation: Slash: The Autobiography Links  Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/onlygetsbetterpodcast  Selin’s Insta: https://www.instagram.com/littlefacelens  Heather’s Insta: https://www.instagram.com/progression_lab  Heather’s Substack: https://substack.com/@heatherpatersonwrites

  8. May 11

    Does Marriage Still Make Sense?

    Episode 7: Does Marriage Still Make Sense? This week on Only Gets Better, we’re talking about marriage. Which is funny, because Selin is… happily married, and yet, she’s also the one asking all the questions. So, we follow that curiosity — not about her relationship, but about the whole idea of marriage. What it is, what it’s become, and why we don’t really question it as much as we probably should. We get into: Sleepwalking into things that society expects of us.Not being terribly cool with the government having a say in when we end a relationship, or that marriage began as a contract between men.How people react when you don’t follow the expected script.We also talk about the divorce rate — and yes, we’re calling it a positive. Not because divorce is easy or something to aim for… but because it means women have choices. And before you think we're complete cynics (looking at you, Heather) we do discuss the romance part, too. This one is a deep dive from two different perspectives and we have a few laughs along the way, as always. Selin's recommendation:We Don't Have Time For This - Podcast - Apple Podcasts Links  Podcast Instagram: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/onlygetsbetterpodcast⁠⁠  Selin’s Insta: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/littlefacelens⁠⁠  Heather’s Insta: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/progression_lab⁠⁠  Heather’s Substack: ⁠⁠https://substack.com/@heatherpatersonwrites⁠⁠

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About

Welcome to the place where midlife is just the beginning. We’re two women with a wildly optimistic view of getting older, here to laugh loudly, dig deep, and hold space for the messy, magnificent reality of midlife. This is a podcast for women who know they’re just getting started - who crave honest conversations, unexpected insights, and the kind of supportive community that feels like a group chat with your best friends. If you’ve ever thought, “Surely there’s more to this chapter?” — you’re in exactly the right place.

Information

  • Creator
    Heather and Selin
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    14
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Heather and Selin
  • Show Website
    Only Gets Better

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