Open Late W!ZARD Studios

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Drea Renee, your new host, shares her journey with love codependency and the process of rediscovering self-love. Returning to the studio, Drea delves into her personal history, tracing the origins of her love codependency to a childhood fascination with love and the challenges arising from her parents' divorce. Drea recounts experiences of navigating unhealthy relationships, grappling with boundary-setting issues, and neglecting self-care. She also thoroughly explores the signs of love codependency, including obsession, persistent validation seeking, and a fear of solitude. On the other hand, Drea highlights the emotional roller coaster of extreme highs and lows, the compromise of personal values, and the neglect of friendships and family. Throughout the episode, Drea encourages listeners to recognize these signs as the first step in a challenging yet crucial journey toward overcoming love codependency and fostering personal growth.

In this Episode of Open Late:


Introduction to Love Codependency Journey

Childhood Impact on Love Views

Unhealthy Relationship Patterns

Recognizing Signs of Love Codependency

Encouragement for Personal Growth


Connect with Drea:
• Instagram: @thedrearenee | @openlatethepodcast
• Website: openlatepodcast.com 
• YouTube: Open Late Podcast
• Open Late Dictionary

8:10 It isn't easy to walk away, somebody can come up to you, huge red flag and this guy said to me “Drea, I don't want to be in a relationship” all I hear is a challenge, okay lets get it. - Drea Renee

10:08 My moment for me, my AHA moment was when I was driving late at night, I was crying hysterically. I had to be at work the next day. I had no sleep. I hadn't spoken to my friends or my family. All I wanted to do is get this guy to do what I wanted him to do, which was call me back, come see me, you know, whatever the thing is, text me back, whatever. And I thought to myself, I was like, wow, this is really taking over my life. - Drea Renee

11:04 When I'm in that space, I call her Agnes. And when Agnes comes out, it's just like, forget it. I mean, there really isn't anything that anyone can do. And that is how codependency works. It doesn't matter who's in your way. It doesn't matter what anybody says. You're gonna go do whatever you need to do to get that text, to get that person to see you, to get them to respond. - Drea Renee

12:53 That love codependency journey really started for me again when I was young and also me wanting to create this relationship that I didn't see with my parents. I just fell in love with this idea of love. And I still am in love with that idea of love, but it's more healthy now. - Drea Renee

16:11 Now I definitely have stayed in some relationships longer than I should have because I did not want to be alone I didn't want to get off work and come home to an empty house I didn't want the weekends to come and go to the farmers market by myself But at the end of the day and I used to hate hearing this. - Drea Renee

23:58 Do not take for granted getting entangled with someone. If you know you have a hard time letting people go, really stay vigilant and conscious of who are you attaching yourself to. - Drea Renee

27:48 I think being aware of your patterns when they become harmful, and they are interfering with your well-being and ability to live a balance life, that's where we can start from - Drea Renee
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In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, there's a unique twist as Jess welcomes Drea Renee back to the studio. However, this time, after more than 2 years, Jess finds herself in the guest seat. It's a significant moment as the show introduces its new host, Drea, an expert specializing in love and dependency, who will be taking over Open Late Podcast while Jess is on maternity leave. They engage in a conversation about Jess's reflections on the future of Open Late and why Drea is the ideal substitute host for this period. They discuss the next steps for the podcast and provide insights into what Jess and Pasha's parenting style will look like. Drea shares her experience of seeing Pasha and Jess in the wild as a polyamorous couple, and they delve into the topic of people trying to protect someone they believe is being cheated on by their partner. As the episode concludes, Jess surprises Drea with a heartfelt gift to mark the beginning of her upcoming journey as the host, and she takes her last bow, at least for now.

In this Episode of Open Late:

New host of Open Late

Delving into the podcast's future

Exploring diverse parenting styles

The dynamics of “protecting” a polyamorous friend

Last Goodbyes and Firsts Welcome Backs


Connect with Drea:
• Instagram: @thedrearenee

Connect with Jessica:
• Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast
• Website: openlatepodcast.com 
• YouTube: Open Late Podcast
• What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz
• Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp
• Open Late Dictionary

00:30 It's official. I am taking over for Jess while she's on maternity leave. - Drea Renee
2:45 I had the realization just a few weeks ago that being a mother is a short-lived little window. - Jessica Esfandiary
4:43 I love a camera and a microphone. I'm always down for it. - Drea Renee
9:28 I would love to sing to my babies, sing to them or write little songs for them. But I feel like writing will be something that'll be, like, manageable. - Jessica Esfandiary
10:30 I Think is the exhilaration of like having this new love and watching Pasha become a father, that makes me so excited - Jessica Esfandiary
12:43 If I could have a partner that is consistent, that knows me and that knows my circumstance and my relationship that's familiar, I think I would maybe go out here and there when time permits. - Jessica Esfandiary
15:28 I want it to be fluid where it's not this thing where we sit our kids down one day. And we're like, we have something to tell you. Mommy and daddy are in an open relationship, we're not doing that. - Jessica Esfandiary
16:22 Children learn what they live and they learn what love is based on what they see. - Jessica Esfandiary
21:27 I like to split up my emotions because I think, like, jealousy is a little bit lazy. I think that there's envy, there's fear of abandonment, like all there micro emotions underneath it. - Jessica Esfandiary
23:57 What's meant for you, won't miss you. The Universe does not f**k up - Jessica Esfandiary 

Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions.
• Open Smarter Course
The product I love who support this show:
• Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20
• The Oh Club OPENLATE
• Desire Resorts 

This is a Sabbatical Jess Production
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In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, after more than a year, Jess welcomes back Pasha, her husband and highly requested guest. Together, they open up about the challenges they've faced and conquered, sharing the intimate details of how they navigated and overcame the struggles that life threw their way. They explore the topic of workaholism, shedding light on how it can impact not only one's personal life but also their relationship, emphasizing the potential consequences when a relationship isn't actively nurtured. They speak openly about their decision to seek therapy, offering insights into why they embarked on this journey together and what they've learned along the way. They also express views on jealousy, discussing how to handle it and why confronting it is important. With the anticipation of their twins' arrival, Jess and Pasha take us through their preparations, they also share their biggest fears and concerns as they look ahead to becoming parents to two precious babies. Furthermore, Jess and Pasha generously devote time to respond to questions from their listeners, offering thoughtful and practical advice on a range of topics, including relationship dynamics and life's unpredictable twists and turns.

In this Episode of Open Late:

Raw insights and dynamics of a polyamorous marriage

Overcoming personal challenges and addressing jealousy

The impact of workaholism on your relationship

Couples Therapy and why is it okay to seek it

Preparations for the twins and the biggest fears


Mentioned in the Episode:
• Podcast: Your Partner is NOT your superhero

Connect with Pasha:
• Instagram: @pashaesfandiary

Connect with Jessica:
• Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast
• Website: openlatepodcast.com 
• YouTube: Open Late Podcast
• What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz
• Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp
• Open Late Dictionary
5:18 We've always been like such an open book with each other, and that's always worked for us because we love open communication. We love to over communicate, and we never wanted to have any secrets. - Jessica Esfandiary
6:20 I'm looking for something meaningful right now. I'm not looking for just hookups. - Pasha Esfandiary
9:46 Specially moving into this season of becoming a mom is like, I know how sacred my energy is and I dont have a lot of it right now - Jessica Esfandiary 
16:09 I think that I and you as well took our relationship for granted and didn't realize that it was like its own living organism that needed care and attention and focus truly, and that it needs to have like energy poured into it. - Jessica Esfandiary
18:48 I think it's really important to know that I've made a massive effort that after five or 6:00, there's no work. - Pasha Esfandiary
23:09 Jealousy is a tool and an indicator to something that you can work on that is deeper and more prevalent -Pasha Esfandiary
40:33 At some point any new partner you get will not satisfy every single one of your needs to the way that we have dreamed up in our society. - Pasha Esfandiary
44:08 Being with other people can create more desire and chemistry within your own relationship -Jessica Esfandiary 
49:17 People become more understanding with education and just if you're authentic, they're going to be authentic too. - Pasha Esfandiary
51:58 I do see myself coming back and see this show growing and evolving with me as I become a mom, a polyamorous mother of twins. - Jessica Esfandiary
Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions.
• Open Smarter Course
The product I love who support this show:
• Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20
• The Oh Club OPENLATE
• Desire Resorts 

This is a Sabbatical Jess Production
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In this episode of Open Late, Jess goes solo and provides listeners with a personal life update. She shares her excitement and anticipation as her baby twins are nearing their arrival, and how this has triggered a profound transformation in all aspects of her life. As the Open Late Podcast celebrates its two-year anniversary, Jess reflects on the journey so far, highlighting the growth and evolution of the show. She offers insights into the preparations for her upcoming motherhood journey, giving listeners a glimpse into the challenges and joys that come with it. Jess also shares a snippet of her lactation journey, providing a glimpse into the unique experiences and challenges she's encountered as she prepares to welcome her twins. As a special treat, Jess has a big surprise in store for the end of the episode, ensuring that listeners will be in for an exciting and memorable conclusion. Join Jess on this deeply personal and celebratory episode of Open Late.

In this Open Late episode:

Jess's recent life update

The imminent arrival of the twins

Celebrating OpenLate's 2nd Birthday

Reflecting on the show's growth and evolution

Embracing new beginnings


  
Connect with Jessica:
• Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast
• Website: openlatepodcast.com 
• YouTube: Open Late Podcast
• What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz
• Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp
• Open Late Dictionary

00:36 We are expecting twins very soon, and that has turned my life upside down and on its head in ways that I could never imagine. And I have grown so much as a woman just by preparing for these sweet, special little beings. – Jessica Esfandiary

 2:27 Over the last two years, I have really interviewed all of the people that I wanted to. – Jessica Esfandiary
 
5:31 It's been a blast. And I've learned and I've grown so much by doing this. – Jessica Esfandiary
 
6:56 The decision was not an easy one in the beginning, but the closer I get to the birth of my babies, the more clear it becomes that I want to focus solely on motherhood. – Jessica Esfandiary
 
7:32 I am a relationship junkie, and I know that the relationship that I have with my son and daughter will be the most important. – Jessica Esfandiary
 
9:03 Open Late podcast is actually not going away. I'm just going to hibernate in these days with my breast pump and breastfeeding two babies at once. – Jessica Esfandiary
 
10:44 Because as I've mentioned here many times, Pasha and I do not plan on closing our relationship. We both have previous partners that are still friends in our lives, that still come in and out of our lives, and something were to happen, I want you all to be the first to know about it. – Jessica Esfandiary
 
13:49 Thank you for understanding that this is such a major life shift for me and I want to be as present as possible for it. You know, this podcast, it really changed me. – Jessica Esfandiary

14:19 So thank you, for helping me own my choices as a woman and the way that I love publicly. – Jessica Esfandiary

14:36 I've had to grow as a woman owning who I am, owning my sexuality and owning my non-monogamy publicly has been one of the greatest gifts of my life, and it's really helped shape who I am and shape how I see the world and more than anything, I feel complete in this part of the journey. – Jessica Esfandiary

Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions.
•     Open Smarter Course
The product I love who support this show:
• Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20
• The Oh Club OPENLATE
• Desire Resorts 
 
This is a Sabbatical Jess Production
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In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jess sits down with Lolo Urbiztondo, Jess's former partner and best friend. They share recent updates on their lives, with Lolo recounting her journey of falling in love with her current partner and the profound realization of being in love. Jess reflects on the transformative changes she's experiencing as she prepares for the arrival of her babies. The episode's second part revisits the classic "Asking for a Friend" style. Jess and Lolo offer thoughtful responses to questions from their listeners, covering a range of significant themes. They explore the importance of seeking and trying therapy, the value of understanding how to date oneself, and how self-discovery plays a pivotal role in determining one's desires in a relationship. Additionally, they delve into the significance of trusting oneself and evaluating the strength of a relationship. 

 In this episode of Open Late,

Newest Life Updates

Lolo's current love story

Jess's reflections on impending motherhood

Importance of dating yourself first 

Building strong relationships and JOMO “Joy of Missing Out”

 
Connect with Lolo
• Instagram: @lolo_urbiztondo
 
Connect with Jessica:
• Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast
• Website: openlatepodcast.com 
• YouTube: Open Late Podcast
• What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz
• Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp
• Open Late Dictionary

2:30 I saw him and there was this energetic pull I felt. – Lolo Urbiztondo
 
14:13 My kids will know that we had a former relationship. It's something I will never going to hide. – Jessica Esfandiary
 
15:13 We will remain open, we are not closing our relationship just because we are having kids. – Jessica Esfandiary
 
19:01 You are in the presence with your partner, and it's important to remember not to project your past and experiences that were traumatic on to your current relationship, because when you do that you make your partner wrong for the things that happened to you in the past. – Jessica Esfandiary 
 
21:30 There are so many things to explore, and every different kink dynamic has a full spectrum. – Jessica Esfandiary
 
30:27 A good relationship with promise, or a partner that is showing up and its also doing the work, keeps me motivated. But if the other person isn’t engaging, the way that you are in this healthy way than I am unmotivated. – Jessica Esfandiary

31:54 I look at it as like when you are in partnership you are in this love temple together and you are both adding in love deposits. – Lolo Urbiztondo

36:05 For me dating myself hardcore was listening to the things I always wanted to do and checking them off my list. – Lolo Urbiztondo

40:32 When you can look at everything that happens to you, even if it really sucks and hurts, as like happening for you and not to you, you start to look at life as a gift - Jessica Esfandiary

43:34 A quality person is going to create safety in your relationship whether they are with someone else as a primary or not-Jessica Esfandiary

49:18 The crazy thing about non monogamy is that it's not about this new person. A lot of people think it is “oh I have such a great connection with this new person” but the truth is new person brings out a side of you that you love that you haven't experienced in awhile. – Jessica Esfandiary
 
50:00 We live in a society and a culture that is geared towards monogamy where people think that this is the norm and so it's really hard for people to break out the box. – Jessica Esfandiary

Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions.
•     Open Smarter Course
The product I love who support this show:
• Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20
• The Oh Club OPENLATE
• Desire Resorts 
 
This is a Sabbatical Jess Produc

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jess connects with Drea Renee, a close friend of Jessica's and an expert specializing in love and dependency. Sobriety takes the spotlight as they explore Drea's personal journey and her realization of a love addiction problem. They delve into the significance of S.L.A.A. (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous) in addressing dependency issues within relationships. Drea shares insights into the support and tools provided by this program. As the conversation unfolds, they address the challenge of losing one's identity within a partnership, the innate longing for love, and the pursuit of authentic love acceptance. Non-monogamy becomes a thought-provoking subject, with discussions revolving around its potential impact on love addiction. Drea provides valuable guidance for those who suspect they might be struggling with partner addiction, and offer practical steps and insights to help individuals navigate these challenging emotions.

In this Episode of Open Late:

From sobriety to love addiction

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous 

Understanding your addiction

Challenges of losing one's identity in a relationship

Consideration of non-monogamy's impact on love addiction


Mentioned in the Episode:
• Podcast: Your Partner is NOT your superhero
• Podcast: How to Recognize Codependency in Your Relationship
• SLAA quiz: The 40 Questions for Self-Diagnosis

Connect with Drea Renee:
• Instagram: @thedrearenee

Connect with Jessica:
• Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast
• Website: openlatepodcast.com 
• YouTube: Open Late Podcast
• What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz
• Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp
• Open Late Dictionary

1:30 Love addiction it's like any other addiction, if you have an alcohol addiction, gambling, food, when that becomes all consuming, it becomes your entire life. - Drea Renee

3:08 When I got sober, its like with any addiction, it doesn't change your wiring. You just stop doing one thing and that laser focus goes to something else. - Drea Renee

5:21 I wanted to be with him so badly that I was like “I'm just going to be a part of you”. Whatever you want me to be, I'll be, so I can get you to love me. - Drea Renee

6:44 My parents divorced when I was seven and my mum had me really, really young. So it's like kids growing up with kids, not really knowing how to emotionally evolve and other things the proper way. - Drea Renee

7:54 Awareness is one thing,but you must put into practice completely new ways of being. - Jessica Esfandiary

13:07 You're addicted to the chemistry in your body. That adrenaline, dopamine. Everything that happens when you're in fight or flight, when you feel like you have the thing that you want. And if you don't have the thing that you want, you're going to die. - Jessica Esfandiary

17:00 Sometimes I wish you could just get somebody a flashcard. Like these are my strengths, these are my weaknesses. Just take a look. And if you don't want to, give it back. - Drea Renee

18:30 The relationship that you have for the first two years is something entirely different, it is its own beast. And you will never have it again. - Jessica Esfandiary

20:17 In some ways with like dating apps, everything is so deliverable and so fast that it makes it challenging to take your time. - Jessica Esfandiary

23:49 Your partner is not your superhero. - Jessica Esfandiary

31:49 Being in a room with a lot of other people that are going through the same thing was so helpful. - Drea Renee

Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions.
• Open Smarter Course
The product I love who support this show:
• Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20
• The Oh Club OPENLATE
• Desire Resorts 
This is a Sabbatical Jess Production
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit me