On this episode of 'Other People's Parenting' hosted by mother daughter duo Karen Quinn (New York Times best selling author of The Ivy Chronicles , founder of Habit Coach and Testing Mom) and Schuyler Hurwitz (amateur parent) - we cover Jonathan Haidts popular and controversial book about the dangers of social media on the developing brain. The focus of this episode is "The Anxious Generation," which highlights the alarming rise in mental health issues among Gen Z. We explain the author's argument that this demographic's heightened anxiety can be attributed to two primary factors: the overprotectiveness of parents and the pervasive influence of smartphones that tether children to digital interactions, inhibiting their engagement in play-based childhood experiences. Throughout our discussion, we reflect on the detrimental impact of constant connectivity and social media on children's development, particularly in relation to their attention spans and emotional well-being. We explore practical recommendations for parents seeking to mitigate these challenges by fostering healthier environments for their children. We emphasize the necessity of encouraging real-world interactions and the cultivation of resilience in a rapidly evolving technological landscape. Outline: The Anxious Generation Overview – 4 partsHow childhood has changed and mental illness (depression, anxiety, self-harm) has risen because of 2 trends –Over-protection in the real world – kids used to play freely after school/weekends – learned to socialize, problem solve, make friendsUnder-protection in the virtual worldThe harms that have resulted from new phone-based childhoods (beginning in 1990) – kids getting smart phones with access to the internet, constant notifications, social media, online video gamingWhat to do to reverse the damageHow to work together to fix the problemPart 2 – the decline of play-based childhoodsIn-person play is critical to childhood development – without it, children will be socially, cognitively, emotionally impaired – need free play with kids of many ages where there is some physical risk teaches children to look after themselves, handle emotions, take turns, resolve conflicts, socialize. (“Play based childhood”)As language develops in the first 5 years of life, cultural/social learning develops at ages 9 – 15 and this learning window closes at puberty.If they get a smartphone at 10-11, they’re getting socialized into Instagram, tik tok, games instead of through real life friendships and experiences. They learn what’s desired / how to talk, behave, emote by posts that get the most likes/influencers – they have online social lives, not real life.Parental trends have changed – enormous safety focus – parents now try to raise kids who are protected from frustration, negative emotions, consequences. They’re not allowed to play outdoors, do things on their own – so they don’t develop competence, self-control, frustration tolerance, self-management. Kids are told the world is dangerous, there are predators, they’re raised to be fragile.Puberty is a critical time in brain development which is necessary to lock down into early adult mode. Kids need some stress at this time, which is traditionally gotten through play/interaction with other kids. If we are too worried about their safety, they miss these experiences. Schools and parents try to ban activities that have any risk of physical/emotional harm.They need these in-person experiences and stressors.We’ve interfered with kids’ growth by blocking them from risky in-person play (no in-real world community/mentors) while giving them access to smart phones where they’re fed digital experiences designed to maximize clicks and ad revenue designed to be consumed alone in their room. Smart phones push out non-phone-based experiences which is what kids need most at puberty.The Great Rewiring Harms Caused – pulled kids out of real-world communities / families and created a new kind of online childhoodBefore the iphone, we could limit screen time – still time for play and face-to-face conversation/interaction. After iphone / internet connectedness/ apps – these held kids attention instead. Algorithms and “like” and “retweet” buttons kept kids online almost continuously. Teens are on screens more than 7 hours/day.Harms – 1) Social deprivation – friendships moved to online, not real life – kids who spend more time on social media suffer more depression, anxiety, other disorders than kids who spend time with in-person groups playing sports/religious communities – even when kids are with other kids, they respond to cell phone notifications 2) Sleep deprivation – studies show kids using cell phones have greater sleep disturbance and shorter sleep time (depression, anxiety, cognitive deficits, poor learning, lower grades, more accidents), 3) attention fragmentation – average teen gets 11 notifications per hour making it hard to maintain attention, stay on task, think – one study showed just having a cell phone in your pocket even when not using it damages your ablility to focus and think, (especially bad for kids with ADHD but all kids are in prime time for EF brain development) 4) addiction –“ Likes “ and “views” in social media are dopamine hits to brain, leaving kids wanting more, creating an addiction cycle.Girls are hurt more by social media (girls are more affected by visual and social comparison and perfectionism, girls will become aggressive by harming other girls’ reputations, they are affected by other girls’ emotions shared online, makes them easier prey for stalking, takes them away from in-person friendships) (causes more anxiety depression, self-harm)Boys are hurt more by gaming. Less in-person play and risk-taking – boys retreated into the gaming world. Their social life moved online. Access to porn is hard to resist. They have more social interactions with online gamers, but fewer real life interactions – they became lonelier.The great rewiring has pulled people downward – made us more judgmental, less likely to bond with people in our lives, limited our ability to experience awe in nature. Phone based life/ social media keeps the focus on self-preservation, branding, social standingWhat can be done? Government / tech companies – 1) govt. raise the age of internet adulthood – ability to open your own social media account– to 16 (it’s 13 now); 2) companies must develop better age verification techniques; 3) govt. change laws to correct overprotection in the real world so parents can let kids play on their own without fear of arrest; 4) govt. encourage schools to give more recess with free playSchools should 1) ban cell phones completely during the day, 2) offer longer recesses and more unstructured play at school, 3) improve playgrounds so they’re more designed for imaginative play (adventure playgrounds with loose parts); more shop classes and vocational training to re-engage boys in school.Parents can 1) give kids less (but better) on-screen experiences – some screen experiences are okay (online video visits, educational programming); 2) give younger kids more (and better) experience in the real world – let kids out of your sight, encourage sleepovers and stay out of them, encourage kids to walk to school in groups, after school free play, camping, sleepaway camp with no devices,...
