Out Here Tryna Survive

Grace Sandra

Out Here Tryna Survive is a trauma-informed, reflective podcast centering the emotional lives, resilience, and humanity of Black women — especially those of us navigating midlife, healing, motherhood, and healing after survival. Hosted by Grace Sandra — Mama, storyteller, advocate, and lifelong student of survival — this podcast explores what it feels like to live in a world that constantly demands our strength while offering little protection.  Through personal storytelling, cultural reflection, and nervous-system-aware conversations, each episode holds space for truth, grief, joy, rage, softness, and repair. This is not a place for perfection or performance. It’s a place for us as Black women to exhale, feel seen, and remember ourselves. We are braver than we believe ✨

  1. 13 GIỜ TRƯỚC

    Ep 51: Banish The Fantasy Of Male Protection

    Send us Fan Mail Subscribe to my Substack: https://substack.com/@outheretrynasurvive Get the Out Here Tryna Survive Journal: https://stan.store/GraceSandra Business Inquiries: OutHereTrynaSurvive@gmail.com A man knows where you live, and suddenly rejection isn’t a simple text, it’s a safety decision. That’s the reality I’m sitting in after letting my guard down with someone I barely knew, then realizing I felt afraid of what he might do when I ended it. That fear sent me straight into a bigger question: what does dating safety even mean for Black women when so much violence comes from the people closest to us? I talk through the Rape Academy news and what it reveals about online misogyny, rape culture, and the way some men organize, teach, and normalize sexual violence against partners. It forces a reckoning with the “not all men” argument, because the issue isn’t statistical comfort, it’s lived risk. When you can’t tell which person is dangerous, you start moving differently. I also share the prayer “Banish the Fantasy of Male Protection,” and why it shattered the leftover belief that patriarchy, religion, or tradition can guarantee women’s safety. We go into the grief and anger of realizing how often male accountability fails, how men protect other men, and what it looks like to opt out of the protector myth while still trying to heal. As a mom raising sons, I get real about pushing back on red pill content, incel logic, and manosphere talking points, and why it can feel frightening even with good kids. I close with what actually helps me process trauma: EMDR, therapy, friends, and intentional journaling as a daily practice to rebuild self-trust. If this resonates, listen, share it with someone who needs a language for what she’s feeling, and please subscribe, rate, and review so more people can find the show. Support the show

    26 phút
  2. 21 THG 4

    Ep 50: My 50 Best Lessons On Sex, Healing & Survival in my 50th Year!

    Send us Fan Mail Fifty lessons. Three themes. Zero sugarcoating. I’m celebrating a huge personal milestone with a rapid-fire list of what I’ve learned about sex, healing, and survival while rebuilding my life and learning to trust my body again. We start with sexual healing and body autonomy: why arbitrary dating rules don’t matter as much as consent and safety, how purity culture can train us to ignore our own signals, and why being able to say “do this” or “stop” is a requirement, not a bonus. I talk about pleasure as something we’re allowed to enjoy, how self-pleasure is maintenance, and why sexual chemistry is not the same thing as emotional compatibility. I also get real about aging, perimenopause, and sexual health, because the culture loves to shame older women into silence even when our bodies still want aliveness. Then we move into healing and survival mode: why healing is hard and messy, why it isn’t linear, and why rest sometimes counts as the most courageous step. I share the lessons that helped me set boundaries, stop explaining myself to people committed to misunderstanding me, and take accountability even when I’m triggered. We end with survival truths about compassion fatigue, money stress and the nervous system, the need for community, and choosing abundance over just “getting by.” If any of this hits home, subscribe, share this with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find these lessons and feel less alone. Support the show

    36 phút
  3. 9 THG 4

    Ep 49 Stop Calling Teen Girls (& Brandy) Fast. On Wanya Morris' Grooming.

    Send us Fan Mail A grown ssa man can say something vile about Brandy on camera, and somehow the loudest anger still lands on the her . That’s the real story I can’t stop thinking about and it’s why I’m speaking on the resurfaced comments about Wanyye Morris and Brandy, who was 16 at the time. I’m not interested in nostalgia or celebrity tea. I’m interested in what our reactions reveal about grooming, consent, and the way purity culture trains people to police girls instead of confronting adult accountability.  We get into why “she was old enough” is not just disgusting, it’s a tell. We talk power imbalance, coerced consent, and how grooming often works by making a child feel chosen, special, and safe. I also share personal stories that connect this public discourse to what survivors carry privately, including how an inner child can still feel blamed years later when the internet starts rewriting harm as “her decision.” We name adultification and hypersexualization of Black girls, and why it’s heartbreaking to watch women join in on the pile-on.  I ground the conversation in reality beyond celebrity culture, including research on age gaps and teen pregnancy, and I explain why the myth that teen girls are “chasing grown men” keeps predators comfortable. We end with what protection can look like: consent conversations early, honest education, and real healing work, including guided journaling and support for anyone triggered by this topic. If this hit home, subscribe, leave a rating and review, share with a friend, and tell me in the comments what you want me to cover for episode 50. Check out my signature Out Here Tryna Survive Journal: https://stan.store/GraceSandra/p/out-here-tryna-survive-journal Support the show

    28 phút
  4. 3 THG 4

    Ep 48: Five Survival Mode Lies And The Journaling Practice That Breaks Them

    Send us Fan Mail Survival mode is sneaky because it can feel like “I’m just handling life” right up until you pause and realize you’ve been white knuckling everything for years. I’m Grace Sandra, and I’m talking about the way trauma, chronic stress, and a cruel culture can plant beliefs in us that sound true but quietly wreck our self-worth, our relationships, and our health. I share a personal story from the years after leaving a severely abusive marriage, when CPTSD, grief, postpartum fallout, financial pressure, and perimenopause collided and I truly believed I wouldn’t survive. From that place, the mind starts looping on lies: I have to do everything alone, rest is laziness, my worth is what I produce, being needed means being loved, and if I stop everything will fall apart. We slow each one down and tell the truth about what it costs, especially for Black women who are constantly expected to be strong, silent, and self-sacrificing. Then we get practical. I explain why journaling and expressive writing are such powerful tools for nervous system regulation, reducing rumination, and challenging the “something is wrong with me” storyline that can come with complex PTSD. I talk guided prompts, simple daily habits like gratitude and affirmations, and how writing helps you name the lie and replace it with something real. If you’re trying to get out of survival mode, this is a gentle place to start. If this resonates, subscribe, share it with a friend who’s carrying too much, and leave a five-star review so more people can find Out Here Trying To Survive. What’s one survival mode lie you’re ready to stop believing? Support the show

    30 phút
  5. 27 THG 3

    Ep 47: Pretty Privilege Can Get You Chosen But Rarely Loved

    Send us Fan Mail A man tells me, “You’re not like those other Black girls,” and suddenly the real conversation isn’t about compliments at all. It’s about misogyny, colorism, and the quiet ways “pretty privilege” can become a trap that asks us to shrink other women just to feel chosen. I’m pulling the lens inward and telling the truth from the inside looking out: getting attention is easy, but getting real love can still feel impossible.  I take you back to a night when I was a teenager and male attention got so intense it turned into a literal line of men handing me their numbers. It felt powerful until it didn’t. Later, kneeling on my bedroom floor with a pile of scraps of paper, I realized how empty attention can be when it’s disconnected from care, safety, and genuine interest. That moment becomes a mirror for modern dating culture, where “options” stack up fast but emotional availability stays rare.  We get into the halo effect, dating psychology, and why attraction often leads to projection. When a man decides he wants you before he knows you, he may love bomb, chase a fantasy, and fight the reality of who you actually are. I also talk about how privilege intersects with race and proximity to whiteness, how social media DMs amplify pursuit, and why power and emotional maturity are not the same thing. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by attention but still unseen, you’re not alone.  Subscribe for more honest conversations, share this with a friend who’s navigating the dating streets, and leave a review so more people can find the show. What’s one moment that taught you the difference between being desired and being loved? Support the show

    33 phút
  6. 13 THG 3

    Ep 46: I Feel For the Epi Survivors. On Anxiety And The Survivor's Need For Accountability

    Send us Fan Mail The hardest part of watching the Epstein files dominate the headlines is not the shock. It is the familiar, stomach-dropping feeling of seeing alleged abusers stay protected while victims get ignored. If you are a sexual abuse survivor, that public denial can hit like a flashback, not because you are “too sensitive,” but because your nervous system remembers what it meant to have power used against you with no consequences. I’m Grace Sandra, and I get personal about why accountability matters at a bodily level. I share the story of being sexually assaulted as a child, testifying in court, and the complicated emotions that followed even after my abuser went to prison: shame, guilt, confusion, and eventually relief. We talk about victim blaming, how justice can reduce cognitive dissonance, and why societal validation helps the brain finally register that what happened was real and wrong. Then we zoom out to the bigger power problem: institutions that protect harmful men and the way that protection retraumatizes survivors through helplessness, rage, dissociation, and deep cynicism. To end on something you can actually use, I walk through trauma healing practices that support recovery when the world refuses to do the right thing, including EMDR therapy, meditation, mindfulness, journaling, and building safe relationships while cutting off toxic dynamics. If this resonates, subscribe, share the episode with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more survivors can find this space. Support the show

    28 phút
  7. 6 THG 3

    Ep 45: Is it Time For Black Women to Leave the Church? On Deconstruction.

    Send us Fan Mail What if survival means walking away from what was supposed to save you? Grace opens up about growing up in church, stepping into ministry, and the slow burn of shame that came with purity culture, constant confession, and the pressure to be “holier than thou.” When her marriage and identity cracked, she didn’t lose the sacred—she lost a system that needed her small. This is a raw, grounded journey from evangelical guilt to a freer, embodied spirituality that keeps God and drops control. We explore the difference between conviction and conditioning, and why a faith that shrinks your voice, your body, and your questions cannot be called good news. Grace shares how listening beyond the evangelical bubble, studying on her own, and hearing other women’s stories reframed everything: patriarchy as governance dressed as God, prayer as presence instead of pleading, and holiness as inherent worth rather than earned approval. Along the way, we name the cultural forces at play—Christian nationalism, apocalyptic fear, and the political weaponization of scripture—that have untethered compassion from the very figure who embodied it. If you’re quietly deconstructing, you’ll hear practical anchors: start from inherent value, measure teachings by their fruit, and choose communities that honor agency over compliance. We center Black women’s healing, autonomy, and joy, insisting that true spirituality expands your life instead of shrinking it. Keep the flame and leave the furnace. Hit play, then tell us: what belief are you brave enough to release today? If this resonates, subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review to help us reach more listeners. Support the show

    29 phút
  8. 25 THG 2

    Ep 44: How My Sexual Freedom & a GoFundMe TRIGGERED a Hater

    Send us Fan Mail A stranger’s 5 a.m. DM tried to make me small—attacking my sexuality, my finances, and my motherhood in one breath. What they didn’t expect was how quickly I would choose boundaries, body wisdom, and community over shame. This conversation starts with the gut punch of anonymous cruelty and opens into something larger: why sexually autonomous Black women who ask for help in public unsettle people who rely on control. I unpack how purity culture once trained me to police myself and how perimenopause, therapy, and hard-won healing led me to claim my desire without apology. We talk through nervous system flares, the difference between constructive critique and projection, and the discipline of not feeding the spiral—block, delete, breathe, phone a friend, and return to self. I share the much-speculated Detroit story as a case study in assumptions, and then we get to the heart of it: support without moral tests. My GoFundMe was fully funded, not because I performed respectability, but because people chose care over punishment. That truth breaks a brittle system built on withholding. We also zoom out to a fresh look at America’s Next Top Model: Reality Check on Netflix, asking where accountability lives when power shapes and harms young women on camera. Tyra’s role as mentor and face of the franchise comes into focus, along with what responsibility looks like when the receipts are public and the wounds are real. Across the episode you’ll hear practical tools for stopping rumination, language for rejecting shame, and a reminder that asking for help is not a moral failure. It’s community in action. If you’ve ever been told your sexuality disqualifies you from dignity, motherhood, or support, take this as your permission slip to live ungoverned. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review to help more people find these conversations. Support the show

    33 phút

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Giới Thiệu

Out Here Tryna Survive is a trauma-informed, reflective podcast centering the emotional lives, resilience, and humanity of Black women — especially those of us navigating midlife, healing, motherhood, and healing after survival. Hosted by Grace Sandra — Mama, storyteller, advocate, and lifelong student of survival — this podcast explores what it feels like to live in a world that constantly demands our strength while offering little protection.  Through personal storytelling, cultural reflection, and nervous-system-aware conversations, each episode holds space for truth, grief, joy, rage, softness, and repair. This is not a place for perfection or performance. It’s a place for us as Black women to exhale, feel seen, and remember ourselves. We are braver than we believe ✨

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