Over This Should

Pamela Meadows
  • 5.0 (11)
  • Business
  • Updated Weekly

Welcome to Over This Should, the podcast where we ditch societal expectations, challenge the "shoulds" holding women back, and embrace life on your own terms. Hosted by Pamela Meadows, this empowering series features inspiring conversations, expert insights, and practical strategies to help you set boundaries, boost confidence, and live authentically. Designed for women ready to step into their power, Over This Should covers topics like self-love, emotional intelligence, navigating relationships, and achieving personal and professional growth. Whether you’re redefining success, balancing life’s demands, or seeking inspiration, this podcast provides the tools and support you need to create a fulfilling, unapologetic life. Join us every week for uplifting stories, actionable advice, and thought-provoking interviews that empower you to live boldly and authentically. Let’s redefine what it means to thrive—together!

  1. Sep 10

    Stop Procrastinating By Feeling Safe with Guest Heather Lillico

    You can be smart, capable, and deeply committed to your goals and still find yourself avoiding the exact actions that would move your life forward. When that happens, we tend to call it laziness, inconsistency, or self-sabotage. We go somewhere different. With nervous system coach Heather Lillico, we dig into why procrastination, perfectionism, people pleasing, and overworking can be protective strategies your body learned to keep you safe.  Heather shares her path from nutrition to nervous system rewiring, including what “high functioning” looked like while she was anxious and depleted, and the moment she realized her pace wasn’t sustainable. We talk through a practical framework she uses with clients: pattern mapping the behavior, the real cost, and the belief underneath it, like “my worth depends on achievement.” From there, we get concrete about what activation looks like in the body, why an email can feel like a threat, and how learning to notice sensations without panic can change the choices you make in business, leadership, and relationships.  We also unpack the sneaky side of fear of success, why chaos can become familiar, and what it means to “hold more” impact while still having boundaries, stillness, and actual ease. If you tend to over-explain your no, rewrite everything to avoid criticism, or want to pull back the second you put yourself out there, you’ll leave with language and tools you can use the same day. Heather even offers a free three-minute calm overwhelm meditation when you DM her the word “calm.”  If this hits home, subscribe so you don’t miss what’s next, share it with a friend who’s stuck in overdrive, and leave a quick review telling us what you’re practicing after you listen. Learn more about Heather here: https://www.heatherlillico.com/   DM Heather the word CALM on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/heather_lil) and she'll send you the free 3-minute meditation she made specifically for founders, for the exact moment your brain won't stop and you feel like everything is spiraling. It's time for you to connect with Pamela, too!  www.pamelameadows.com  https://www.instagram.com/thepamelameadows/  https://www.linkedin.com/in/thepamelameadows/  Love this conversation? Follow Over This Should and share the episode with a woman who is ready to get over the expectations keeping her stuck. Learn more about Pamela Meadows, coaching, speaking, and upcoming programs at https://www.pamelameadows.com/.

    Stop Procrastinating By Feeling Safe with Guest Heather Lillico

  2. Sep 8

    How To Delegate Without Hovering Or Taking It Back

    You finally delegate dinner and then catch yourself checking the fridge, watching the clock, and thawing the chicken anyway. That awkward moment is the real story, not the handoff itself. When we let go of a responsibility we’ve carried for a long time, the discomfort can feel so loud that we step right back in, even when someone else agreed to own it and nothing has actually gone wrong.  We dig into why hovering happens at home and at work: fear the task won’t get done, guilt about resting while someone else works, irritation that they’re doing it differently, and the surprisingly tender identity shift of not being the most “needed” person in the room. We also name the hidden payoff of being indispensable and the cost that comes with it, especially for default managers, high performers, and caregivers who are used to noticing, planning, and following through for everyone.  Then we get practical. We walk through how to make ownership explicit with a clear agreement (what “owning it” actually includes), how to set standards without turning preferences into rules, and how to address real misses without taking the whole job back. You’ll leave with a simple three-question pause to stop “just checking” in its tracks, plus one final prompt: if this handoff works, what will you do with the space it creates for you?  If this hits close to home, subscribe, share it with a fellow overfunctioner, and leave a review. Then send me a note: what feels hardest, trusting it will get done, accepting it’ll be done differently, or figuring out who you are when you aren’t the one handling it? Love this conversation? Follow Over This Should and share the episode with a woman who is ready to get over the expectations keeping her stuck. Learn more about Pamela Meadows, coaching, speaking, and upcoming programs at https://www.pamelameadows.com/.

  3. Aug 28

    The Glass Audit: How to Stop Carrying the Mental Load in Your Head

    Ever find yourself brushing your teeth thinking, “Don’t forget that email,” sitting in a meeting mentally rehearsing tomorrow’s conversation, or trying to fall asleep when your brain suddenly screams, “DOG FOOD”? Welcome to the mental load. In this solo episode of Over This Should, Pamela Meadows introduces The Glass Audit, a simple way to stop using your brain as a 24/7 reminder system. Building on the Default Manager conversation, Pamela explores the psychology behind prospective memory, attention residue, unfinished goals, cognitive overload, and cognitive offloading and explains why something can be your responsibility without needing to occupy your mind all day. You’ll learn three questions to help you identify what your brain refuses to put down, give unfinished responsibilities a trustworthy “address,” and stop reopening decisions you’ve already made. Because sometimes your brain isn’t asking you to finish everything. It’s asking you to prove there’s a plan. In this episode: • Why unfinished responsibilities keep resurfacing in your thoughts • The difference between responsibility and mental rehearsal • How attention residue follows us from task to task • Why specific plans can quiet unfinished goals • How to give a responsibility an “address” outside your head • The hidden mental cost of repeatedly reopening decisions • A two-minute Glass Audit you can try today Your challenge: Ask yourself: What is my brain currently trying not to forget? Choose one thing. Give it a next action, a time, and a trustworthy place to live. Then practice saying: This has a plan. I do not need to hold onto it right now. If this episode made you feel aggressively seen, follow Over This Should and share it with the woman whose brain currently has 47 tabs open. Research and concepts discussed Prospective memory and cognitive load Sophie Leroy’s research on attention residue E. J. Masicampo and Roy F. Baumeister’s research on unfinished goals and plan-making Cognitive offloading and the use of external systems to reduce internal memory demands Over This Should is the podcast for women who are ready to question the expectations, roles, and invisible responsibilities they’ve been taught they “should” carry. Together, we’re ditching the shoulds and creating lives, careers, and definitions of success that actually fit. Love this conversation? Follow Over This Should and share the episode with a woman who is ready to get over the expectations keeping her stuck. Learn more about Pamela Meadows, coaching, speaking, and upcoming programs at https://www.pamelameadows.com/.

  4. Aug 20

    The Default Manager: Why You're Exhausted by a Day You Can't Remember

    You get to the end of the day completely wiped out. Somebody asks what you did, and you genuinely cannot answer. You noticed the milk was gone. You moved the three o'clock because it was going to run into the three fifteen. You caught the mistake in the document before it went out the door. You remembered the permission slip. Nothing you can point to, and you are wrecked. There is a name for that, and it is not bad time management. In this episode, Pamela unpacks the default manager: the woman who has quietly become the operating system everyone else runs on. She walks through the sociology of cognitive labor, tells the story of a dentist appointment that took nine invisible steps before anyone got in the car, and lands on a distinction that changes how you see your entire life. Help is not the same as ownership. She also gets into why the default manager shows up at work as much as at home, why indispensable is not the same as influential, and why the resentment you have been talking yourself out of might be information rather than pettiness. In this episode: What cognitive labor actually is, and the four parts researchers break it intoWhy the deciding gets shared, and the noticing and the remembering do notThe default manager at work, and the research on low promotability tasksHelp versus ownership, and the six stages of carrying somethingA three-question audit you can run this week on one responsibility in your lifeResearch referenced: Daminger, A. (2019). The Cognitive Dimension of Household Labor. American Sociological Review, 84(4), 609 to 633. Ciciolla, L., and Luthar, S. S. (2019). Invisible Household Labor and Ramifications for Adjustment: Mothers as Captains of Households. Sex Roles, 81(7 to 8), 467 to 486. Babcock, L., Recalde, M. P., Vesterlund, L., and Weingart, L. (2017). Gender Differences in Accepting and Receiving Requests for Tasks with Low Promotability. American Economic Review, 107(3), 714 to 747. Mentioned in this episode: The Invisible Work Ledger, a whole life agency tool that walks you through one responsibility, all six stages, and shows you exactly where you are stuck being the manager. Send me an email and I'll send you back the PDF: pamela@pamelameadows.com  The Should Audit, a quiz that identifies the invisible expectations shaping how you work, care, lead, and decide. Results are immediate.. www.pamelameadows.com  Tell me one thing you are always remembering for everybody else. Leave it in a review or send it to me directly. I read them. pamelameadows.com Love this conversation? Follow Over This Should and share the episode with a woman who is ready to get over the expectations keeping her stuck. Learn more about Pamela Meadows, coaching, speaking, and upcoming programs at https://www.pamelameadows.com/.

  5. Jul 30

    Confidence Comes After You Do The Thing

    Entrepreneurship gets sold as a highlight reel, but the real work happens in the messy middle: the quiet nights, the spirals of doubt, the launches that don’t land, and the constant decision-making no one sees. We’re naming that part out loud and talking about what actually helps women entrepreneurs keep going when motivation fades and imposter syndrome gets loud. We’re joined by Chloe Sullivan, founder of the Female Entrepreneurship Club, to unpack why building a business can feel isolating even when you have supportive people around you. Chloe shares how her background in digital marketing and her coaching training shape a practical approach that blends mindset work with real business strategy, mentorship, and accountability. We dig into fear and the stretch zone, why confidence comes after you do the thing, and how “failure” is often just the fastest path to better decisions and stronger offers. We also get real about relationships: how growth can trigger jealousy, why some advice leaves you feeling heavier, and how to set boundaries without losing yourself. Then we pivot to action, including simple ways to validate a business idea, find market demand, and test an offer without getting stuck in perfectionism. If you care about female founders, entrepreneurship mindset, business coaching, and building community over competition, this one’s for you. Subscribe for more honest conversations, share this with a friend building something brave, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway so we can keep making the messy middle feel less lonely. CONNECT WITH CHLOE The Female Entrepreneur Club on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thefemaleentrepreneurclub/ Join The Female Entrepreneur Club community: https://www.skool.com/the-female-entrepreneur-club-8197/about CONNECT WITH PAMELA Website: https://www.pamelameadows.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepamelameadows/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thepamelameadows/ Love this conversation? Follow Over This Should and share the episode with a woman who is ready to get over the expectations keeping her stuck. Learn more about Pamela Meadows, coaching, speaking, and upcoming programs at https://www.pamelameadows.com/.

    Confidence Comes After You Do The Thing

  6. Jul 23

    The Identity Shift No One Talks About (Motherhood, Meaning, and Being Needed)

    You’re told “it’s not that deep.” But what if it is? In this episode of Over This Should, Pamela Meadows explores what happens when someone dismisses your experience—and why that voice often sounds familiar. After a stranger critiques a personal reflection on motherhood and identity, Pamela unpacks a deeper pattern many high-functioning women know well: tying self-worth to being needed. This episode is for women navigating identity shifts, especially in seasons of change like motherhood, leadership, and life transitions. You’ll hear a powerful reframe on meaning, emotional depth, and the hidden “bargain” behind being the reliable one. Pamela also shares a practical 3-step framework to help you respond when your inner critic (or someone else) tells you you’re “too much,” “overthinking,” or “making it a whole thing.” In this episode, you’ll learn: Why “it’s not that deep” can be a form of controlHow identity gets tied to usefulness and being neededWhat happens when roles change (especially in motherhood)A 3-step practice to respond without shrinking yourselfHow to decide when something matters—and who gets to decideIf you’ve ever felt like you need to make yourself smaller to belong, this conversation will meet you there—and offer a way forward. Follow, rate, and review Over This Should to support the show and help more women find it. Connect with Pamela: Instagram: @thepamelameadows Podcast IG: @overthisshould_podcast Love this conversation? Follow Over This Should and share the episode with a woman who is ready to get over the expectations keeping her stuck. Learn more about Pamela Meadows, coaching, speaking, and upcoming programs at https://www.pamelameadows.com/.

  7. Jul 16

    Business Besties, Reinvention and Starting Before You’re Ready (with Christina Kimbrough and Brandi Zenzel)

    What happens when two women get tired of shallow networking, waiting to feel ready, and pretending business can be separated from real life? Christina Kimbrough and Brandi Zenzel are the founders of Women in Business HR, a Hampton Roads community for women building what’s next. In this conversation, they share how one very long coffee meeting grew into a movement rooted in collaboration, honesty, and genuine connection. Christina opens up about her sobriety journey and how the search for an alcohol-free community led her to build Free Life, a non-alcoholic bar, bottle shop, and social enterprise. Brandi shares what it looked like to deconstruct a successful life, enter a new professional season after 50, and stop allowing other people’s version of her to define what came next. Together, we talk about why readiness is mostly a myth, how action creates momentum, what “balance” really looks like during a season of growth, and why the right business bestie does not have to look, think, believe, or live exactly like you. In this episode: • Why testing the smallest version of an idea can teach you more than taking another course • How to build community that feels relational instead of transactional • The difference between preparing for imbalance and chasing perfect balance • What people-pleasing, hustle, and external validation can cost us • Why diverse perspectives make partnerships and communities stronger • How to stop dimming the qualities you were once told were “too much” • The “shoulds” Christina and Brandi are officially over This conversation is for the woman who is entering a new season, sitting on an idea, craving better community, or wondering whether she is allowed to become someone her old support system does not fully recognize yet. Guest contributor bios Christina Kimbrough Christina Kimbrough is the founder of Free Life LLC, an alcohol-free social enterprise offering a non-alcoholic mobile bar, curated bottle shop, events, and community experiences. She is also a writer and speaker exploring sobriety, recovery, social health, and meaningful connection.  Brandi Zenzel Brandi Zenzel is a relationship builder, longtime entrepreneur, and Membership & Relationship Manager for the Southside at Retail Alliance. She is the cofounder of Women in Business HR and is passionate about helping women create genuine relationships, navigate new seasons, and build what comes next.  CONNECT WITH CHRISTINA, BRANDI AND WOMEN IN BUSINESS HR Women in Business HR on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/womeninbusinesshr/ Join the Women in Business HR community: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1aTAw7QFaE0y_GHynu0gL8Mx6C1V1cZjNGz8zX47PKkA/viewform Christina Kimbrough on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ckimbrough1/ Christina’s Substack: https://christinakimbrough1.substack.com/ Free Life LLC: https://freelifellc.com/ Free Life on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freelifellc/ Brandi Zenzel on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brandizenzel/ Brandi Zenzel on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/positivelypink Retail Alliance: https://retailalliance.com/ CONNECT WITH PAMELA Website: https://www.pamelameadows.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepamelameadows/ https://www.instagram.com/overthisshould_podcast/  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thepamelameadows/ What “should” are you over? Share this episode with the woman who needs permission to build what is next before she feels completely ready. Love this conversation? Follow Over This Should and share the episode with a woman who is ready to get over the expectations keeping her stuck. Learn more about Pamela Meadows, coaching, speaking, and upcoming programs at https://www.pamelameadows.com/.

    Business Besties, Reinvention and Starting Before You’re Ready (with Christina Kimbrough and Brandi Zenzel)

  8. Jul 10

    Human Design, Burnout, and the Blueprint You Were Never Meant to Follow

    What if you’re not bad at boundaries, business, rest, or decision-making? What if you’ve just spent years trying to succeed inside systems that were never built for your actual energy? In this episode of Over This Should, Pamela sits down with Sarah Larsen, a Business Frequency Architect who blends Human Design, energetic strategy, Reiki, and real-world business systems to help entrepreneurs understand how they are designed to operate. Together, Pamela and Sarah unpack Human Design in normal-person language, including energy types, authority, emotional waves, conditioning, capacity, and why so many high-performing women end up exhausted from saying yes to things that were never really theirs to carry. They also dig into Pamela’s own chart as an emotional generator with a 1/3 profile, which opens up a larger conversation about experimentation, decision-making, identity, burnout, parenting, leadership, and the sneaky ways we override our own knowing because society told us we “should.” This conversation is for the gold-star girls, the reliable ones, the women who can figure anything out but are quietly wondering why their life looks good on paper and still feels so heavy in real life. You do not have to become a completely different person. You may just need to stop forcing yourself into someone else’s blueprint. Sarah’s reminder is a powerful one: just because you can do something does not mean you should. And Pamela’s closing wisdom says it all: you do not have to become a completely different person. You can stop trying to force yourself into someone else’s blueprint. Connect with Sarah Larsen: Instagram: @iamsarahlarsen Website / Human Design Chart: https://www.sarah-larsen.com/free-hd-chart-download    Connect with Pamela: Website: www.pamelameadows.com Instagram: @thepamelameadows Podcast: Over This Should Question for you after listening: What are you still saying yes to because you think you “should,” even though your body has already said no? Love this conversation? Follow Over This Should and share the episode with a woman who is ready to get over the expectations keeping her stuck. Learn more about Pamela Meadows, coaching, speaking, and upcoming programs at https://www.pamelameadows.com/.

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5
out of 5
11 Ratings

About

Welcome to Over This Should, the podcast where we ditch societal expectations, challenge the "shoulds" holding women back, and embrace life on your own terms. Hosted by Pamela Meadows, this empowering series features inspiring conversations, expert insights, and practical strategies to help you set boundaries, boost confidence, and live authentically. Designed for women ready to step into their power, Over This Should covers topics like self-love, emotional intelligence, navigating relationships, and achieving personal and professional growth. Whether you’re redefining success, balancing life’s demands, or seeking inspiration, this podcast provides the tools and support you need to create a fulfilling, unapologetic life. Join us every week for uplifting stories, actionable advice, and thought-provoking interviews that empower you to live boldly and authentically. Let’s redefine what it means to thrive—together!

Information

  • Creator
    Pamela Meadows
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    62
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Over This Should
  • Show Website
    Over This Should

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