What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny Moms

Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson

When you're a parent, every day brings a "fresh hell" to deal with. In other words, there's always something. Think of us as your funny mom friends who are here to remind you: you're not alone, and it won't always be this hard. We're Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables, both busy moms of three kids, but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is a laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet or an organizational system she didn't like. In each episode of "What Fresh Hell" we offer lots of laughs, but also practical advice, parenting strategies, and tips to empower you in your role as a mom. We explore self-help techniques, as well as ways to prioritize your own needs, combat stress, and despite the invisible workload we all deal with, find joy amidst the chaos of motherhood. If you've ever wondered "why is my kid..." then one of us has probably been there, and we're here to tell you what we've learned along the way. We unpack the behaviors and developmental stages of toddlers, tweens, and teenagers, providing insights into their actions and equipping you with effective parenting strategies. We offer our best parenting tips and skills we've learned. We debate the techniques and studies that are everywhere for parents these days, and get to the bottom of what works best to raise happy, healthy, fairly well-behaved kids, while fostering a positive parent-child relationship. If you're the default parent in your household, whether you're a busy mom juggling multiple pickups and dropoffs, or a first-time parent seeking guidance, this podcast is your trusted resource. Join our community of supportive mom friends laughing in the face of motherhood!   whatfreshhellpodcast.com

  1. -17 h

    Overfunctioning

    Overfunctioning is usually defined as taking on excess responsibility for other people’s feelings, issues, and tasks. And it's usually presumed to be tied to anxiety. IF someone's overfunctioning, it's either a symptom of or cause of the panic assumed to be lying just underneath. But are we "overfunctioning" when we're doing our absolutely regular amount of way-too-much as a parent? Does anxiety have to have anything to do with it? In this episode, we're talking about the stress that comes with being the backstop how to sense overfunctioning in ourselves as a potential barometer of anxiety the MoSCoW method (Must Have, Should Have, Could Have, Won't Have) as a business-world framework that can help all of us discern what absolutely has to happen in a given "timebox"... and what might be able to wait Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Kate Manne on Substack: In Defense of Mom Anxiety Anne-Laure Le Cunff for Ness Labs: Overfunctioning: The Drive to Do it All, or When Helping Others Is Hurting You Yunus Emre Yalçıner for Medium: The Moscow Method: A Comprehensive Guide to Prioritization in Project Management And in response to this week's mailbag, here are a few of our past episodes specifically relevant to single / solo parenting: Our episode Solo Parenting Seasons and How To Get Through Them Our Fresh Take with Jamilah Lemieux Our Fresh Take with Norah Lally Our Fresh Take with Susan Sutton Chris Fleming: COMPANY IS COMING!!! What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to ⁠https://heypolo.com/hell⁠ or use code HELL and get 40% off your first year! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    Overfunctioning
  2. -2 j

    DEEP DIVE: Jennifer Wallace on Achievement Pressure

    This "Deep Dive" series revisits a few of our past episodes on back-to-school challenges such as the morning rush, school projects which require lots of parental oversight, and how to help our kids navigate intensifying academic pressure. Two recent national studies underlined that there's a surprising group of children at risk for worse mental health outcomes: kids who go to high-achieving schools. How do we protect our kids from the pressures all around them to succeed at any cost? ⁠Jennifer Wallace⁠, author of the book ⁠Never Enough⁠, shows us how to teach our kids that they matter intrinsically. Jennifer Wallace is an award-winning journalist and a frequent contributor to the Wall Street Journal and the Washington Post. She lives in New York City with her husband and their three teenagers. Amy, Margaret, and Jennifer discuss: Why achievement pressure is at an all-time high How parents contribute to, but are not solely responsible for, this pressure How to teach our kids that they matter independently of their achievements Here's where you can find Jennifer: ⁠jenniferbwallace.com⁠ @jenniferbwallace on IG @jennifer.b.wallace on FB Buy Jennifer's book: ⁠https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593191866⁠ What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to https://heypolo.com/hell or use code HELL and get 40% off your first year! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    DEEP DIVE: Jennifer Wallace on Achievement Pressure
  3. -5 j

    Fresh Take: Dr. Stuart Slavin on The Pressures Causing Depression, Anxiety, and Burnout in Our Kids

    What if the proven decline in the mental health of today's adolescents isn't just about phones and screen time? What if academic pressure and "achievement culture" is the real driver of the increase in anxiety and depression today's teens are experiencing? Dr. Stuart Slavin, pediatrician and author of THE SUCCESS TRAP, explains just how widespread academic pressure and "achievement culture" in the United States has become— not just in fancy schools on the coasts, and not just in high school, either. Amy and Dr. Slavin discuss: the average teen's default state of sleep deprivation, caused by hours of homework per night (work that may not even do much to change outcomes) the top stressors today's teens report—and why "peer pressure" doesn't even make the top ten how smartphones feed maladaptive perfectionism and achievement culture how schools that reduce demands on kids are also seeing improved test scores and academic performance how parents can create "low-pressure zones" at home how to advocate for healthier expectations at your kids' schools—and why you shouldn't fight that battle on your own Here's where you can find Dr. Slavin: https://drstuartslavin.com Buy THE SUCCESS TRAP: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593839386 @drstuartslavin on IG What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    Fresh Take: Dr. Stuart Slavin on The Pressures Causing Depression, Anxiety, and Burnout in  Our Kids
  4. 26 août

    How Much Should We Share With Our Kids?

    When is it useful for our kids to hear about our own life experiences—including situations caused by our own bad decision-making? When does it become oversharing, or get too personal or inappropriate? We discuss how to know how much to tell our kids, and how to have useful difficult conversations, including: our own past choices around drinking, drugs, and sexual activity the family secrets that may be part of our history traumatic and difficult experiences: how do you get across what's important without giving a child information too heavy for them to hold? divorce and family conflict: how not to recruit kids into taking sides of adult disagreements serious illness of a parent, grandparent, or another loved one Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Our Fresh Take with Dr. Mary Martin Lori Michas for Grown and Flown: How Much of Your Past Should You Share With Your Teen? iMom Blog: How Much of Your Past Should You Share With Your Kids? Lynne Meredith Golodner for MetroParent: Should Parents Tell Kids About Their Past? Claire McCarthy for Harvard Medical School Blog: How to talk to children about the serious illness of a loved one What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    How Much Should We Share With Our Kids?
  5. 24 août

    DEEP DIVE: Linda Flanagan on Taking Back Kids' Sports

    This "Deep Dive" series revisits a few of our past episodes on back-to-school challenges such as the morning rush, school projects which require lots of parental oversight, and how to help our kids navigate intensifying academic pressure. Linda Flanagan is a journalist, researcher, and a former cross-country and track coach. She's also a founding board member of the Positive Coaching Alliance and an Advisory Group member for the Aspen Institute’s Reimagining Sports initiative. Flanagan's book is ⁠TAKE BACK THE GAME: How Money and Mania Are Ruining Kids' Sports--and Why It Matters⁠. Linda tells Amy and Margaret what forces conspired to make the youth sports landscape the way it is today. In this episode, Linda, Amy, and Margaret discuss: How the purpose of kids' sports has changed since we were playing ourselves [7:00] Why we assume sports build character, and whether that's true [14:30] How recruitment for college sports affects both kids' and parents' perspectives [22:15] Here's where you can find Linda: ⁠Buy Linda's book⁠ @lindaflanagan2 on Twitter ⁠Mindshift Podcast on NPR⁠ Read Linda's article in The Atlantic: ⁠"The Downsides of Having an Athlete in the Family"⁠ Our previous episode on kids' sports: "⁠Youth Sports: If You Must⁠" What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    DEEP DIVE: Linda Flanagan on Taking Back Kids' Sports
  6. 19 août

    Outsourcing the Workload: How to Hand Stuff Over

    Subscribe to our monthly newsletter!⁠ Feeling overwhelmed by everything that needs to get done? If you're the person who keeps track of the appointments, school forms, groceries, household repairs, gifts, kids' activities, and all the little things that seem to live permanently in your head, you may not need to get better at managing your workload—you may need to outsource some of it. We tackle a listener question about how to outsource the household workload without having pockets deep enough for full-time help. We talk about why outsourcing can actually feel like more work at first, how to decide what to hand over, and how to get other people to truly take responsibility instead of simply giving you another task to manage. Here are some topics we discuss: Why the mental load is usually a systems problem Glass balls vs rubber balls, and how to tell the difference Why part-time help is a great way to outsource why making your own life easier is a legitimate use of your resources Here are links to some of the resources discussed in the episode: Zawn Villines on Substack: Why the 'Fair Play' book doesn't fix labor inequality for most couples Zawn Villines on Substack: Results of the State of Household Inequality Survey Show How Damaging Heterosexual Relationships Are to Women Sarah Aswell for Scary Mommy: A Woman Is Going Viral For Timing How Long Unpleasant Tasks Actually Take Christi Newrutzen on TikTok Our Fresh Take with Eve Rodsky What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    Outsourcing the Workload: How to Hand Stuff Over
  7. 17 août

    DEEP DIVE: Are Our Kids Overscheduled?

    This "Deep Dive" series revisits a few of our past episodes on back-to-school challenges such as the morning rush, school projects which require lots of parental oversight, and how to help our kids navigate intensifying academic pressure. So many of us spend hours chauffeuring our kids back and forth to their myriad activities. Why are kids so overloaded with activities these days, and can we get off of this ride? Here are some parenting strategies for navigating this issue. Amy and Margaret discuss: Why kids are so overscheduled these days How overscheduling really affects kids, beyond the mom guilt-inducing headlines What questions to ask when assessing if our kids are overscheduled Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: ⁠Dr Shimi King: Overscheduling Your Kids Isn’t the Fast-Track to Success it Once Was⁠ Solution Health: ⁠Overbooked Kids: The Overscheduled Crisis⁠ Anna Nordberg for Slate: ⁠The Fine Art of Underscheduling⁠ Jill Barshay for Mind Shift: ⁠Overscheduling Kids’ Lives Causes Depression and Anxiety, Study Finds⁠ Carolina Caetano, et. al for Economics of Education Review: ⁠Are children spending too much time on enrichment activities?⁠ What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    DEEP DIVE: Are Our Kids Overscheduled?
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À propos

When you're a parent, every day brings a "fresh hell" to deal with. In other words, there's always something. Think of us as your funny mom friends who are here to remind you: you're not alone, and it won't always be this hard. We're Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables, both busy moms of three kids, but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is a laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet or an organizational system she didn't like. In each episode of "What Fresh Hell" we offer lots of laughs, but also practical advice, parenting strategies, and tips to empower you in your role as a mom. We explore self-help techniques, as well as ways to prioritize your own needs, combat stress, and despite the invisible workload we all deal with, find joy amidst the chaos of motherhood. If you've ever wondered "why is my kid..." then one of us has probably been there, and we're here to tell you what we've learned along the way. We unpack the behaviors and developmental stages of toddlers, tweens, and teenagers, providing insights into their actions and equipping you with effective parenting strategies. We offer our best parenting tips and skills we've learned. We debate the techniques and studies that are everywhere for parents these days, and get to the bottom of what works best to raise happy, healthy, fairly well-behaved kids, while fostering a positive parent-child relationship. If you're the default parent in your household, whether you're a busy mom juggling multiple pickups and dropoffs, or a first-time parent seeking guidance, this podcast is your trusted resource. Join our community of supportive mom friends laughing in the face of motherhood!   whatfreshhellpodcast.com

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