Spring 2142 and Gated Galaxies has launched its 400 Oz-8000 ships, each carrying 50,000 "resting guests" to, hopefully, a new home on a shiny, brand-new planet. As soon as they find one. IF they find one.
This is the story of one of those ships – the Oz 9 – and its tiny crew of hopeless incompetents. So far, they've been in space half an hour and several hundred people are dead. So... bright future, clearly.
M'Lady of Little Chadwick upon Bad Patter
Humans on the receiving end of divine affections don't do so well, mythologically speaking. However, after having seen Donna in action, the smart money is on her. Pluto better watch his gold lamé onesie.
With this episode, we are officially halfway through Season 3 of Oz 9, so let's all take a moment to realize this crew of idiots has managed to survive this long. Well, apart from Matt, that guard in the tunnel, Lady Nibble-Biscuit, the mime, several thousand pod-occupants, 1/3 of Sweden.... never mind.
I'm soft, squishy, and covered in Hollandaise sauce
I'd apologize for this being so late, but if you think about it, I gave you an extra 16-and-a-half Oz-free hours, which is, like, a decade in idiot years.
It's been a long day aboard the Oz 9. You think bad decision making is easy — Doritos for dinner? Yes, please. Easy! Go for a run or drink chocolate milk with vodka? Vodka. Definitely. Easy! —and yet, it's exhausting.
So, you'll get no apology from me, unless I come across one on my way to the couch.
Putting the freeze on boogerology
Remember how there was that one week you were sick or maybe just on vacation but too poor to go anywhere? And you watched daytime TV, and even though you knew it was ridiculous and cheesy, by Friday you were desperate to know if little Suzy really was Armoire's daughter and if Aristato would find Nectarina in time to stop her from marrying ... I don't know, Ponderosa Jutjaw or whatever?
Just stay with me, this is relevant.
Chasing Lord Lunchable
What would you do if everything in your garden suddenly attacked you? Carrots shooting themselves at your eyes, radishes nibbling tiny, spicy holes in your ankles, kohlrabi shouting at you, probably in German, given how "kohlrabi" is spelled — does it seem German to you? just me? — and let's not even talk about what the watermelon is trying to do.
This is vaguely relevant to episode 47, but only sort of. Meanwhile, I'm going to have nightmares about cauliflower.
It's invasion of the body snackers
Probably the most remarkable thing that happens in this entire episode is that Le Bichon Frise pronounces "assassinate" correctly.
I know. We were pretty shocked too.
It happens at the bottom of page 3, so if you just want to hear that and skip the rest, I don't suppose anyone would blame you.
Oh, and there's a bit about a butterfly that's funny. You might want to stick around for that. And the discount code for the chocolate. That's never a bad thing.
Up to you.
Who doesn't love a decorative bunting?
It's really late. The kind of late that keeps on getting later until it circles back round to early. When I'm this blurry and tired, I'm likely to say anything. Like how much more bearable life became on this ship with we busted Dr. Theo out of his pod. Geeky never looked so good....
See, now what did I say? Stop with the questions and the "oooo tell me everything" eyes. Dr. Theo is extremely fond of his personal space, and that's all there is to it. So shut up. I'm going to bed.
Customer ReviewsSee All
A Bold Frontier
This podcast is a must listen. It’s an absolutely fascinating concept. The conversations are entertaining, engrossing, and inviting. Start with episode one and go from there. Stop reading this review. Just click subscribe. You won’t be disappointed.
LOVE THIS PODCAST!!!
it’s so much fun to listen to. And this podcast got me into listening to audio books. so YES YES YES!!! I love Oz 9! It’s funny, mysterious, and just a great podcast to listen to
Genius level understanding of the ridiculous
OZ-9 is a ridiculously-brilliantly ridiculous podcast. If you ever wondered what would happen if Douglas Adams obtained genetic material from The Monty Python Characters and The Red Dwarf Crew, mixed them together with a pinch of Mr Bean, threw them in a 1960s sci-fi ship and launched them into space...give OZ-9 a listen. It appeals to intellectual humor, sarcastic humor, slapstick humor, and 8-year-old boy humor. Something for almost everyone. If you want scientific accuracy and genuine accents, move along. Otherwise, sit back and be prepared to laugh your bum off. :)