Paper Napkin Wisdom - Podcast for Entrepreneurs and Leaders

Govindh Jayaraman
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Paper Napkin Wisdom with Govindh Jayaraman The biggest breakthroughs don't always come from boardrooms, textbooks, or endless strategy decks. More often, they're sparked in simple moments—captured on the back of a napkin. That's the heart of Paper Napkin Wisdom. Each week, host Govindh Jayaraman sits down with entrepreneurs, leaders, athletes, artists, and difference-makers who distill their most powerful insight into one napkin-sized idea. These aren't abstract theories. They're lived lessons—the kind that shift how you see the world and give you tools you can use immediately. From billion-dollar founders and bestselling authors to under-the-radar innovators changing their industries, every guest shares a perspective that challenges assumptions and invites you to loosen your grip on "the way things are." You'll discover how simple reframes can spark growth, how clarity emerges from constraint, and how wisdom becomes powerful only when it's put into action. Expect conversations that are raw, practical, and deeply human. You'll leave each episode not only seeing reality differently, but also knowing exactly what you can try today—in your business, your leadership, or your life. If you're ready for small shifts that lead to big results, this is your place. Grab a napkin, listen in, and share your takeaway with #PaperNapkinWisdom. Because wisdom isn't meant to sit on the page—it's meant to move you forward.

  1. What Is Masculine Containment…? With Guest Alex Charfen

    1D AGO

    What Is Masculine Containment…? With Guest Alex Charfen

    Introduction There are moments on Paper Napkin Wisdom where the conversation doesn't just inform you — it initiates you. This episode with Alex Charfen is one of those moments. Alex and I have known each other for over a decade. We've built companies. We've navigated collapse and reinvention. We've leaned into each other weekly through seasons of clarity and seasons of complete unknowing. More than once we've finished a conversation and said, "We should have recorded that." This time, we did. What emerged was not a tactic. Not a productivity hack. Not a communication trick. What emerged was a reframing of leadership, intimacy, safety, and masculine responsibility — distilled onto a napkin with a deceptively simple question: "What is Masculine Containment…?" This episode is not about dominance over others. It's about dominion over self. It's not about control. It's about capacity. And for many men — leaders, partners, fathers — it names the thing they've felt but never had language for. The Napkin: What Is Masculine Containment…? Masculine containment, as Alex defines it, is not a personality trait. It's not a behavior you turn on. It's not something you "do" when things get hard. It's something you become. At its core, masculine containment is the ability for a man to regulate himself so completely that his presence becomes a place of safety for others — especially in moments of emotion, conflict, and vulnerability. Alex arrived at this not through theory, but through rupture. After more than 20 years of marriage, his wife told him three words that changed everything: "I don't feel seen. I don't feel heard. I don't feel safe." What followed was not a quick fix. It was a two-plus-year period of radical introspection, ceremony, embodiment, and practice — culminating in a daily ritual where Alex sat with his wife, held his center, and let her say everything she needed to say… without interruption, defense, correction, or withdrawal. That practice became the living laboratory for what he now calls Masculine Containment. Why This Matters More Than We Think One of the most important distinctions Alex makes is this: Men and women do not experience conflict the same way. Men are biologically wired to return to baseline quickly after confrontation. Women are biologically wired for threat detection and safety — and their nervous systems take much longer to settle after emotional rupture. That difference changes everything. When a man escalates, reacts, withdraws, or tries to "fix" emotions, he may feel like he's resolving the issue. But for the woman's nervous system, the threat hasn't ended — it has accumulated. Over time, those unresolved moments link together. Safety erodes. Attraction fades. Connection shuts down — not intellectually, but somatically. This is why so many women say things like: "I feel emotionally starved." "I feel like I've lost myself." "I love him… but my body says no." And this is why so many men say: "I feel like I'm walking on eggshells." "Nothing I do is ever right." "We've tried therapy and it didn't help." Masculine containment addresses the root, not the symptom. The Three Layers of Masculine Containment Alex describes masculine containment as having three distinct expressions — each building on the last. 1. Self-Containment This is where everything begins. A contained man can: Stay present inside discomfort Breathe through activation Process anger without discharging it Feel emotion without becoming reactive Self-containment turns the nervous system into a leadership asset, not a liability. Without this, power leaks everywhere — into arguments, avoidance, workaholism, addiction, or control. With it, a man becomes grounded, predictable, and internally safe. 2. Reactive Containment This is what happens in the moment. When emotion shows up — tears, anger, grief, fear — an uncontained man: Invalidates ("You shouldn't feel that way") Fixes ("Here's what I'll do so this never happens again") Withdraws ("I'll give you space") Escalates (matching or exceeding the energy) All four register as threat. Reactive containment looks different. It sounds like: "I've got you." "Tell me what's happening." "Is there anything else you need to say?" Nothing to fix. Nothing to defend. Nothing to escape. Just presence — steady, regulated, available. 3. Active Containment This is proactive leadership. Active containment is when a man invites his partner into a space where she can safely express her inner world — before things rupture. Alex has now guided dozens of men through this practice, with outcomes that range from restored intimacy… to pregnancies… to relationships that had been written off as broken finding their way back to connection. Not through persuasion. Not through technique. But through capacity. Why Masculine Containment Is Not "Charity" One of the biggest misunderstandings about this work is that it sounds like men are doing all the work. Alex is clear: This is not self-sacrifice. This is initiation. When a man holds containment: His confidence deepens His nervous system stabilizes His leadership presence expands His magnetism increases Not just at home — but everywhere. This is why, as Alex began living this work, his impact grew exponentially. Millions of organic views. Tens of thousands of messages. Men and women alike saying, "This finally names what I've been feeling." Containment doesn't weaken a man. It amplifies him. 5 Key Takeaways (and How to Bring Them to Life) 1. Safety Is a Nervous System Experience Take Action: Notice where you react, withdraw, or escalate. Those are signals of uncontained energy. 2. Validation Is Not Agreement Take Action: Practice saying, "I accept that this is true for you," without explaining yourself. 3. Presence Heals Faster Than Process Take Action: Before fixing, sit. Breathe. Stay. 4. Men Must Go First Take Action: Ask yourself: Where am I still asking others to regulate my emotions for me? 5. Containment Creates Momentum Take Action: Give stability away — and watch how quickly it returns multiplied. Final Thought Masculine containment is not about being louder. It's about being deeper. It's the capacity to walk into emotional storms and calm them — not by force, but by presence. And for many men, it may be the most important leadership skill they ever develop. More About the Guest Alex Charfen is an entrepreneur, founder, and leadership thinker who has spent decades helping visionary operators build aligned companies and lives. His recent work focuses on masculine containment, emotional regulation, and embodied leadership for men. Links: website: https://thebrotherhoodsociety.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alexcharfen1 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexcharfen/

    1h 25m
  2. Aura, Pillar 4: Contribution - The Most Misunderstood Pillar of the Magnetic Growth Aura | Edge of the Napkin #24

    4D AGO

    Aura, Pillar 4: Contribution - The Most Misunderstood Pillar of the Magnetic Growth Aura | Edge of the Napkin #24

    For the past several Edge of the Napkin episodes, we've been building toward something. We started with the Magnetic Growth Aura — the invisible field great leaders create around them that draws people in, builds trust, and sustains momentum over time. Then we slowed down and examined each pillar individually: Confidence — the belief that you have something to offer Congruence — the alignment between who you say you are and how you show up Calm — the ability to hold space without urgency or agenda And now we arrive at the final pillar. Contribution. Ironically, it's the one most leaders say they value — and the one most organizations quietly neglect. Because contribution sounds like charity. It sounds soft. It sounds optional. But contribution, when properly understood, is not generosity for generosity's sake. It is the engine that expands human capacity — and capacity is what creates sustainable results. What Contribution Actually Means (and What It Doesn't) Contribution is not: Being "nice" Avoiding hard conversations Giving without boundaries Rescuing underperformance Sacrificing standards to feel generous That isn't contribution — it's leakage. True contribution is the intentional expansion of another person's capacity. When you contribute well, people leave interactions with you more capable than when they arrived. More aware. More confident. More resourced internally. That's why, on the napkin, contribution sits at the center of one word: CAPACITY ↑ People grow here. Encouragement Lives Inside Contribution Most leaders misunderstand encouragement. They think encouragement is praise or positivity. But real encouragement isn't emotional — it's structural. Encouragement happens when: Someone feels seen Their thinking expands Their confidence deepens Their ownership increases Encouragement is not telling someone they're great. It's helping them see what they couldn't see before — and trusting them with that awareness. That's why encouragement, ownership, initiative, and trust in motion all sit on the outer ring of the napkin. They are outcomes of contribution, not inputs. Contribution Is Born in Relationship You cannot contribute to people you are not connected to. Feedback without relationship feels like criticism. Direction without trust feels like control. Vision without connection feels like pressure. Contribution requires relationship density — not friendship, but genuine connection built on presence, listening, and consistency. That's also why contribution collapses when the other pillars are missing. Without confidence, contribution becomes approval-seeking. Without congruence, it feels manipulative — like there are strings attached. Without calm, it turns into pressure or urgency disguised as help. But when confidence, congruence, and calm feed contribution, something different happens. People grow. Organizations That Produce Results Without Developing People Are Borrowing From the Future This is one of the hardest truths for growth-focused organizations to confront. Many companies are built almost entirely around: KPIs Outcomes Revenue Efficiency Those things matter. But when people are treated as inputs instead of developing systems, something erodes quietly over time. Engagement drops. Initiative disappears. Turnover rises. Leadership becomes positional instead of relational. Not because people are weak — but because capacity was never being expanded. Contribution is what funds the future of an organization. Feedback That Expands Capacity Lives Here Contribution is where the most powerful form of feedback lives. Not feedback that shrinks people. Not feedback that protects egos. But feedback that expands capacity. It sounds like: "Here's what I see." "Here's why it matters." "Here's what I believe you're capable of." "Here's the space I'm giving you to step into it." This kind of feedback doesn't rescue people. It respects them. Profit Often Follows Contribution — But Only When Aligned You'll notice on the napkin that profit sits downstream. "Profit follows — only when aligned." That's not accidental. Contribution alone does not create profit. Contribution without standards leads to burnout. Contribution without calm creates chaos. Contribution without congruence breeds resentment. But when contribution is paired with: Clear expectations Strong boundaries Accountability Ownership People stay longer. They care more. They protect the culture. They solve problems before they escalate. And yes — profit follows. Not because it was chased. But because the system became healthier. Why Contribution Is So Often Overlooked Because from the outside, it looks like charity. And in weak leadership systems, that's exactly what it becomes. But real contribution is demanding. It requires presence. It requires patience. It requires courage. It's far easier to push numbers than to grow humans. But only one of those compounds over time. Giving Momentum Away Creates More of It One of the great leadership paradoxes is this: When you hoard momentum, you become the bottleneck. When you give momentum away, the system accelerates. Contribution is not loss. It's leverage. The best leaders stop asking: "How do I stay ahead?" And start asking: "Who am I developing to run with me?" The Magnetic Growth Aura, Complete When all four pillars are present: Confidence creates belief Congruence builds trust Calm provides safety Contribution multiplies momentum Leadership stops feeling heavy. Teams stop waiting to be told. Organizations stop relying on heroic effort. And something rare emerges — a system where people don't just perform. They grow. 5 Key Takeaways from Episode 338 1. Contribution Is About Expanding Capacity Take Action: Ask after every meaningful interaction: Did this expand or contract the other person's capacity? 2. Encouragement Is Structural, Not Emotional Take Action: Shift from praise to perspective — help people see what they couldn't see before. 3. Relationship Is the Gateway to Contribution Take Action: Invest time in understanding what actually matters to the people you lead. 4. Profit Is a Downstream Outcome, Not the Goal Take Action: Audit whether your systems are developing people or merely extracting results. 5. Momentum Multiplies When You Give It Away Take Action: Identify one person this week whose growth you can actively invest in — without agenda. Final Thought Contribution is not what you give to people. It's what you unlock in them. And leaders who understand this don't just build results. They build futures.

    15 min
  3. Sometimes The Future Isn't New, it's Remembered – Guest: Oliver Trevena, Actor, Investor, Co-Founder of CaliWater

    FEB 5

    Sometimes The Future Isn't New, it's Remembered – Guest: Oliver Trevena, Actor, Investor, Co-Founder of CaliWater

    Some ideas arrive loud and polished. Others arrive scribbled on a napkin. Oliver Trevina's napkin was deceptively simple: Cactus Create a hydration revolution Ancient plant → future of hydration At first glance, it feels almost too obvious. Cactus. Hydration. Nature doing what nature has always done. But as Oliver shared in this conversation, the most powerful ideas are often hiding in plain sight—waiting for someone curious (and stubborn) enough to back them. About the Guest (Intro) Oliver Trevina is an actor, host, entrepreneur, and brand builder who has spent years on both sides of the microphone—interviewing some of the biggest names in entertainment while quietly building businesses behind the scenes. Known for his work in film and television, Oliver eventually followed a deeper calling into wellness, longevity, and consumer brands. He is the co-founder of CALIWATER, a cactus-based hydration drink built around the belief that nature already solved many of the problems we're trying to engineer our way out of. When Life Breaks Open, Direction Changes Oliver's journey into entrepreneurship didn't start with a pitch deck or a market gap. It started with a life quake. At 21 years old, just days before leaving on a professional performance tour, Oliver was violently attacked and pronounced dead at the scene. What followed was months of facial reconstruction, recovery, and a complete collapse of the life path he had carefully imagined. In his words, it felt like the end. In hindsight, it became the beginning. That moment forced a choice many people never consciously make: comfort or growth—but not both. Leaving England for the U.S. wasn't about chasing fame. It was about survival, safety, and perspective. It was about creating enough distance to rebuild—not just a career, but an identity. That pattern—stepping into uncertainty rather than retreating from it—shows up again and again in Oliver's story. From Performance to Product After years hosting red carpets and award shows, Oliver realized something important: Entertainment often runs on hope and timing. Business runs on feedback and iteration. In entertainment, one plus one sometimes equals nothing. In business, one plus one equals data. That realization pulled him deeper into brand building—first as an investor, then as a founder. Through longevity clinics and health diagnostics, Oliver noticed something surprising: despite eating well and exercising, his sugar levels were consistently high. The culprit? Coconut water. Marketed as "healthy," it quietly delivered massive amounts of sugar. That question—what else is out there?—opened the door to cactus. The Napkin Truth: Ancient Plant, Future Solution Cactus doesn't look like innovation. That's the point. Prickly pear cactus has been used for generations across cultures—for hydration, digestion, skin health, and recovery. It grows in extreme environments. It requires dramatically less water to cultivate. It contains electrolytes with far less sugar than mainstream hydration drinks. As Oliver put it, cactus didn't need to be invented. It needed a platform. Just like an undiscovered performer waiting for the right stage, cactus water needed someone willing to see past its appearance and believe in its potential. The napkin captures that perfectly: Ancient plant → future of hydration Building Something Real (and Heavy) Starting a beverage company, Oliver learned quickly, is not for the faint of heart. Distribution paradoxes. Cash-intensive growth. Pennies matter. Inventory matters. Trust matters. He shared openly about early mistakes—moving too fast, trusting the wrong people, learning hard lessons about leadership, governance, and team alignment. But underneath all of it was a simple filter: Product first. Quality always. Celebrity involvement wasn't a gimmick—it was belief. Investors didn't show up for a logo; they showed up because the product delivered. And when the business got heavier, Oliver got clearer. He chose sobriety. He chose presence. He chose responsibility. Not because success was guaranteed—but because integrity mattered. 5 Key Takeaways from My Conversation with Oliver Trevina 1. Comfort Is Not the Goal—Growth Is Oliver's life changed when comfort was no longer available. Growth became the only option. Take Action: Identify one area where you've chosen comfort over growth. Make a small, deliberate move toward discomfort this week. 2. Nature Already Solved More Than We Think Cactus didn't need innovation—just attention. Take Action: Look at an old solution, process, or idea you've dismissed. Ask: What if this is already good enough? 3. Quality Creates Belief People invest in what works—not what's hyped. Take Action: Audit your product, service, or message. Where can you improve substance instead of adding noise? 4. Leadership Is Personal Founders carry invisible weight—especially when other people's money, trust, and belief are involved. Take Action: Ask yourself: Am I proud of how I'm showing up—even when no one is watching? 5. Appreciation Sustains the Journey Oliver's gratitude for his parents—especially his mother—anchors his resilience. Take Action: Send a message of appreciation today to someone who supported you when life broke open. The Real Revolution The hydration revolution Oliver talks about isn't just about what's in the can. It's about choosing alignment over convenience. Substance over shortcuts. Responsibility over image. The napkin says it best: Cactus. Create a hydration revolution. Ancient plant. Future of hydration. Sometimes the future isn't new. It's remembered. More About the Guest Oliver Trevina IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm3165541/ Website: https://ollywoodmedia.com/ CALIWATER: https://drinkcaliwater.com/

    52 min
  4. Aura, Pillar 3: Calm "The Container" - Why Leadership Presence Starts With What You Can Hold | Edge of the Napkin #23

    FEB 1

    Aura, Pillar 3: Calm "The Container" - Why Leadership Presence Starts With What You Can Hold | Edge of the Napkin #23

    In the last few Edge of the Napkin episodes, we've been building something deliberately. Not a formula. Not a personality profile. Not another leadership "style." We've been unpacking something more fundamental—what I've been calling the Magnetic Growth Aura. An Aura isn't what you say. It isn't your title. It isn't even your expertise. It's what people experience when they're around you. And as we've explored the first two pillars—Confidence ("Do I believe in me?") and Congruence ("Do my words and actions match, especially under pressure?")—a deeper truth starts to surface: None of it holds without Calm. This episode is about why Calm is not softness. It's not passivity. And it's definitely not disengagement. Calm is the container. Calm Is Not the Absence of Pressure One of the biggest misconceptions about calm is that it shows up after things settle down. But real leadership doesn't happen in calm conditions. It happens: when people are emotional when stakes are high when clarity is missing when outcomes are uncertain Calm is not the absence of pressure. Calm is the ability to hold pressure without leaking it. That's what leadership containment really means. When a leader lacks calm, the pressure doesn't disappear—it just gets transferred: into urgency into micromanagement into reactivity into the room When a leader has calm, something different happens. The pressure stays contained. And that containment creates safety, clarity, and trust—even when answers aren't obvious yet. Calm Is the Ability to Hold Space Most people don't come to leaders for answers first. They come to leaders with emotion. Confusion. Fear. Frustration. Uncertainty. The unspoken question underneath all of it is simple: "Can you stay steady while I'm not?" Calm is the capacity that allows you to hold space without rushing to fix, reframe, or escape discomfort. Leaders who lack calm: interrupt too quickly problem-solve too early talk when silence would do more offer certainty before understanding Leaders with calm can: listen longer than feels efficient let people complete their own thinking allow emotion to move without taking it personally trust that clarity will emerge This is not a communication skill. It's a nervous system skill. Calm Is the Ability to Wait One of the most underrated leadership skills is the ability to wait. Not withdraw. Not hesitate. But wait intentionally. Calm allows you to pause: before responding before rescuing before asserting authority before collapsing ambiguity too soon When leaders can't wait, teams don't grow. They learn to look up instead of inward. They optimize for approval instead of ownership. They outsource thinking to the person with the loudest presence. Calm says: "I trust this process enough not to interrupt it." That's not disengagement. That's confidence in emergence. Calm and the Other Pillars of the Magnetic Growth Aura Calm doesn't replace the other pillars. It activates them. Calm + Confidence Confidence answers, "Do I believe in me?" Calm answers, "Can I stay with myself when belief is tested?" Without calm, confidence turns into defensiveness or bravado. With calm, confidence becomes quiet certainty. Calm + Congruence Congruence asks whether your words and actions still match under pressure. Calm is what makes that possible. Without calm, values collapse under urgency. With calm, alignment holds—even when it would be easier to break it. Calm + Contribution Contribution is about serving something larger than yourself. Calm creates the internal space to do that sustainably. Without calm, contribution becomes draining. With calm, contribution flows from overflow. Calm, Coherence, and Why People Can Feel You Calm isn't just psychological—it's physiological. Research from the HeartMath Institute shows that when we're calm, the heart and brain enter a state of coherence—a synchronized rhythm that improves emotional regulation, cognitive clarity, and decision-making. Here's the part most leaders miss: Coherence is contagious. When you're calm and coherent: people settle around you conversations slow down trust increases without explanation the room regulates itself You don't need to tell people to relax. Your physiology teaches them how. This is why calm leaders feel safe. Why calm coaches create breakthroughs faster. Why calm presence often matters more than perfect words. The Napkin: Calm Is the Container The napkin sketch for this episode says it simply. A large circle labeled Calm. Inside it, three pillars: Confidence, Congruence, and Contribution. At the center, a small heart labeled Coherence. And underneath it all: Calm holds pressure without leaking it. Calm doesn't compete with the other pillars. It holds them. The Quiet Power of Calm Leadership The world doesn't need louder leaders. It needs leaders who can: hold space wait wisely regulate environments without force stay coherent under pressure Calm is not retreat. Calm is readiness without reactivity. And when Calm stands alongside Confidence, Congruence, and Contribution, your presence doesn't just move people— It steadies them. That's the Magnetic Growth Aura. That's leadership containment. And that's Pillar Three: Calm. Five Key Takeaways (with Take Action) 1. Calm is not passive—it's a container. Take Action: Notice where pressure leaks from you under stress and practice holding one extra breath before responding. 2. Calm allows others to finish their own thinking. Take Action: In your next conversation, delay problem-solving and listen 30 seconds longer than feels necessary. 3. Calm enables congruence under pressure. Take Action: Identify one value you're most tempted to compromise when rushed—and choose to slow down instead. 4. Calm is felt, not explained. Take Action: Before a meeting, regulate your breathing and posture first—then speak. 5. Calm makes leadership magnetic. Take Action: Ask yourself: Do people leave interactions with me more regulated than when they arrived? If this episode resonated, grab a napkin and write the one line that stood out for you. Share it. Live it. Because calm isn't something you wait for. It's something you carry.

    19 min
  5. Keep Your Commitment to Yourself | Edgar Jones – Speaker and Coach, Former NFL Linebacker

    JAN 29

    Keep Your Commitment to Yourself | Edgar Jones – Speaker and Coach, Former NFL Linebacker

    Some wisdom doesn't shout. It waits. It waits patiently until you're ready to stop running… until you're willing to turn around… until facing it finally becomes worth it to you. That's exactly what Edgar Jones brought to the Paper Napkin Wisdom table. On his napkin, Edgar wrote: "Keep your commitment to yourself!!! You will face it when it's worth it to you." At first glance, it feels simple. But as you'll hear in this conversation, that sentence carries the weight of lived experience—of professional sports, sobriety, leadership, loss, and the quiet work of becoming whole again. About Edgar Jones Edgar Jones is a former NFL linebacker who played at the highest level of professional football after entering the league as an undrafted free agent. Beyond the field, Edgar is a speaker, leadership coach, and creator of practical tools that help leaders slow down, reconnect with themselves, and reset how they define success. What makes Edgar's voice especially powerful is that it's not theoretical. It's earned—through pressure, loss, recovery, faith, and reflection. This conversation is not about motivation. It's about truth. You Will Face It When It's Worth It to You Edgar traces this phrase back to a scene in King Arthur (Guy Ritchie's version). After Arthur emerges from the Darklands—the place where he's forced to confront his past—a mage asks him what he saw. When he avoids the truth, she responds: "We all look away… but you will face it when it's worth it to you." That line stayed with Edgar because it mirrored his own life. For years, Edgar was doing the right things—but for the wrong reasons. When he first chose sobriety, he did it for his family. For his wife. For his kids. All honorable reasons. But something subtle happened beneath the surface: expectations crept in. The need for validation. The quiet hope for applause. And when that applause didn't come? The old patterns waited patiently. The breakthrough came when Edgar realized this truth: "I had to learn how to say, 'Edgar, great job.' If someone else said it, that was just a bonus." That shift—from external approval to internal commitment—changed everything. The Red Dot Problem Edgar shared a story from his NFL days that perfectly captures how performance culture shapes us. Each week during film review, coaches would highlight strong plays with a red dot. The dot meant recognition. Validation. Proof that you mattered. One game, Edgar played his heart out—six tackles, full effort. He sat in the meeting waiting for the red dot. It never came. "I walked out of that meeting feeling lesser than… all because I wanted that red dot." Seventy thousand fans could be cheering in the stadium, but that didn't matter. What mattered was the one person whose approval he didn't receive. That experience planted a powerful leadership lesson Edgar carries today: People don't just want to perform. They want to be seen. As a leader now, Edgar is intentional about naming what he sees in others—clearly, specifically, and honestly. Because recognition isn't a scarce resource. The more you give it away, the more connection you create. Turning Around to Face the Dog One of the most striking moments in this conversation is a childhood story Edgar shares. Growing up in rural Louisiana, Edgar would run home from the school bus every day—not because he loved running, but because a neighbor's Rottweiler chased him relentlessly. One day, mid-sprint, Edgar realized something: "I'm not going to outrun this dog." So he stopped. Turned around. And screamed. The dog froze… and ran away. It never chased him again. Years later, Edgar saw the parallel. When he retired from the NFL, he wasn't just stepping away from football. He was running—from grief, from unresolved loss, from pain he hadn't fully faced. Including the traumatic loss of a teammate in 2012 that left a deep, unprocessed mark. Eventually, the running stopped working. "I realized there were some dogs that had been chasing me that I needed to turn around and face." That's what the napkin means. You don't face everything right away. You face it when it becomes worth it. And when you do, something loosens its grip. Slowing Down to Perform Better In football, Edgar explains, the best teams do something counterintuitive during the playoffs. They slow down. Walkthroughs replace full-speed reps. Players literally walk through plays—thinking, noticing, aligning—so that when it's time to move fast, mistakes are minimized. Rehab did the same thing for Edgar's life. It slowed him down long enough to ask better questions. To notice patterns. To reset what "winning" actually meant beyond performance and survival. "We've confused fast with good and slow with bad." But growth doesn't happen at full speed. It happens in the walkthroughs. Defining Your Own Scoreboard One of the most practical tools Edgar shares is his Five C's—his personal, internal scoreboard. Not a scale of 1–10. Just yes or no. Did it happen or didn't it? The Five C's: Create – Did I create solutions, ideas, or value using my gifts? Connect – Did I meaningfully connect with someone today? Contribute – Did I give to something bigger than myself? Compete – Did I take care of my body and physical energy? Contemplate – Did I slow down and get still? Each is clearly defined so Edgar can answer honestly—without shame, without spin. "If I don't define winning for myself, I'll always be chasing someone else's scoreboard." That clarity keeps his commitment grounded—and personal. 5 Key Takeaways from My Conversation with Edgar Jones 1. You Can't Outsource Your Commitment to Yourself If your growth depends on applause, it will collapse under silence. Take Action: Write down one commitment you've been keeping for others—but not yourself. Redefine it in your own words. 2. Recognition Is Fuel, Not Identity The red dot feels good—but it can't be the source of your worth. Take Action: Acknowledge one win this week without telling anyone. Let it be enough. 3. Slowing Down Is a Leadership Skill Walkthroughs create excellence under pressure. Take Action: Schedule one intentional slowdown this week—a walk, reflection, or quiet reset—before making a key decision. 4. Facing the Thing Changes the Chase What you avoid gains power. What you face loses it. Take Action: Identify one "dog" you've been running from. Ask yourself what would happen if you turned around. 5. Define Your Own Win If winning isn't clear, you'll always feel behind. Take Action: Create a simple daily scoreboard (3–5 items) that reflects the life you actually want to live. Final Thought Edgar's napkin isn't about discipline. It's about honesty. You don't face everything at once. You don't force growth on a timeline. You face it when it becomes worth it. And when you keep your commitment to yourself—even quietly—something powerful happens: You stop running. You start becoming. If this episode stirred something in you, grab a napkin and write down the commitment you've been postponing. Then take one small step toward it—and share your reflection with #PaperNapkinWisdom. More About the Guest Edgar Jones is a former NFL linebacker, leadership speaker, and creator of practical tools for high performers seeking alignment, clarity, and sustainable growth. His work blends elite performance experience with reflection, faith, and human-centered leadership. linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jonesedgar/ website: https://www.thelitcode.com/

    57 min
  6. Aura, Pillar Two: Congruence - Say What You Do. Do What You Say. | Edge of the Napkin #22

    JAN 25

    Aura, Pillar Two: Congruence - Say What You Do. Do What You Say. | Edge of the Napkin #22

    Some leadership traits are easy to spot. Confidence shows up quickly. Calm is noticeable under pressure. Contribution is visible in results. Congruence is different. You don't always notice it when it's present — but you always feel it when it's missing. In Episode 334 of the Paper Napkin Wisdom Podcast, and #22 in the Edge of the Napkin series, Govindh Jayaraman explores the second pillar of the Magnetic Growth Aura: Congruence — the quiet discipline that makes confidence believable, calm receivable, and contribution sustainable. This episode isn't about being perfect, polished, or impressive. It's about alignment. And more specifically, it's about whether the life you're living actually supports the words you're using. The Magnetic Growth Aura (A Quick Reframe) In earlier Edge of the Napkin episodes, Govindh introduced the idea of a Magnetic Growth Aura — the felt experience people have when they're around you. Not your intentions. Not your credentials. Not your personality. Your presence. That Aura is shaped by four pillars: Confidence – belief made visible Congruence – alignment made reliable Calm – space under pressure Contribution – value beyond self Congruence sits at the center of this structure. It doesn't shout. It doesn't perform. But it quietly answers the question every nervous system is asking: "Can I trust what happens next?" When congruence is present, people relax. When it's missing, people hedge. Congruence Is Not Honesty — It's Coherence One of the most important distinctions in this episode is the difference between honesty and congruence. Honesty is telling the truth. Congruence is living in such alignment that the truth doesn't need defending. You can say you value people — and still cancel meetings casually. You can say family comes first — and never be home. You can say you're open to feedback — and explain yourself every time. None of that makes you dishonest. It makes you unintegrated. Congruence is integration. It's when what you believe, what you say, and what you do all point in the same direction — not perfectly, but consistently enough that people can rely on it. Where Congruence Quietly Breaks: The Street-Corner Yes One of the most relatable moments in this episode happens far from a boardroom. It happens on a sidewalk. You run into someone from your past. You smile. You catch up. And then the familiar phrase appears: "We should get together sometime." Without thinking, you respond: "Yes, absolutely." But you already know the truth. You won't follow up. You won't schedule. You don't actually intend to. You didn't say yes because it was true. You said yes because it was polite. That moment seems harmless — but it trains incongruence. Each time we choose comfort over truth, we teach ourselves that our words are flexible. And when words lose weight, trust slowly leaks. Congruence doesn't require being cold or abrupt. Sometimes it sounds like something much simpler: "It was really great to see you today." True. Kind. Clean. Say What You Do. Do What You Say. (As a Practice) In Episode 334, Govindh reframes "say what you do, do what you say" as training, not morality. Congruence isn't about being rigid. It's about slowing your language down until it matches your reality. Most incongruence doesn't come from bad intent. It comes from a reluctance to feel momentary discomfort. So we soften language. We overpromise. We say "sometime." But every incongruent yes becomes a future resentment. Congruence asks a simple, uncomfortable question: Am I willing to feel a little awkward now to stay aligned later? Consistency, not intensity, is what restores trust. Congruence and the Other Pillars A powerful part of this episode is how Congruence is shown in relationship to the other pillars of the Magnetic Growth Aura. Without Confidence, congruence turns into compliance and people-pleasing. Without Calm, congruence becomes sharp honesty — technically accurate, emotionally unsafe. Without Contribution, congruence becomes self-contained alignment that serves no one else. But when all four pillars work together, something shifts. Confidence gives congruence choice. Calm gives it softness. Contribution gives it meaning. People stop bracing. They stop double-checking. They trust. The Parable of the Echo Temple One of the deeper moments in this Edge of the Napkin episode is the parable of the Echo Temple — a story about a teacher who mistakes repetition for integrity. By clinging to consistency without awareness, the teacher stays aligned with his routine but disconnected from reality. The lesson is subtle but powerful: Congruence without confidence, calm, and contribution becomes dogma. Living congruence, on the other hand, allows principles to stay intact while expression evolves. The Napkin Question If this episode were captured on a paper napkin, it would ask just one question: Where do my words and my life stop touching? That's the work. Not becoming someone else. Not doing more. But bringing what you already believe into clearer alignment with how you actually live. 5 Key Takeaways from Episode 334 1. Congruence Is the Trust Bridge Congruence makes confidence, calm, and contribution usable. Take Action: Notice one place this week where you say yes automatically — and pause. 2. Niceness Can Undermine Trust Being polite at the expense of truth creates invisible misalignment. Take Action: Practice accuracy over reassurance in low-stakes conversations. 3. Congruence Is Trained, Not Claimed Alignment is built through repeated, small choices. Take Action: Delay your yes by one breath or one sentence. 4. Incongruence Costs Energy Later Every soft promise becomes future tension. Take Action: Replace "sometime" with a clear commitment — or none at all. 5. Living Congruence Feels Like Relief When words and actions align, people relax. Take Action: Ask someone you trust where your actions speak louder than your words. Final Thought Congruence isn't loud. But it's what makes everything else believable. Say what you do. Do what you say. And if something needs to change — let it start with alignment, not performance. Challenge: Take out a paper napkin. Write down one place where you've been saying what's nice instead of what's true. Share your reflection with the hashtag #PaperNapkinWisdom — and notice what shifts when your words and your life start touching again.

    17 min
  7. One Ripple Can Change the Tide - Leaders Create Them | Sabine Hutchinson Author, Founder

    JAN 22

    One Ripple Can Change the Tide - Leaders Create Them | Sabine Hutchinson Author, Founder

    Introduction: The Power of a Small Stone Sabine Hutchison has lived a life shaped not by grand plans, but by small, courageous moments — moments where she spoke an idea out loud, asked for help, or chose possibility over certainty. Sabine is the author of Beyond the Ladder, the founder of the Ripple Network, and a longtime leader working at the intersection of science, leadership, and advocacy for women. Born in the U.S. to a German mother, her life has unfolded across countries, industries, and identities — from chemistry labs to the world tour of David Copperfield, from corporate science to building platforms that amplify women's voices. When Sabine sat down with me, her napkin was deceptively simple: "One ripple… can change the tide." What followed was a conversation about how change actually happens — not through force or perfection, but through presence, asking, awareness, and the courage to release an idea into the world. The Napkin: One Ripple… Can Change the Tide At first glance, the idea of a ripple feels almost poetic. But Sabine reminds us it's not abstract at all — it's deeply practical. A ripple begins when something moves. A question asked. A need spoken. A kindness offered. A decision made without knowing how it will turn out. Sabine shared that one of the most significant ripples in her life came during her senior year of college. Working two jobs while studying chemistry, she casually voiced a thought to her employers: "There has to be some rich person out there who wants to help me finish this year." It was said half‑jokingly. Lightly. Without expectation. That small stone changed everything. Her employer didn't dismiss it. He didn't correct it. He carried it forward — quietly — and found a way to support her final year financially. Only later did Sabine discover that the person helping her was him. One ripple. A tide changed. Focus: Ripples Begin With Expression One of the most powerful themes in this conversation is that ripples cannot form in silence. Sabine points out that many people hold their ideas, needs, and dreams too tightly. They wait for certainty. They wait for permission. They wait until they feel "ready." But stagnant water creates no ripples. When Sabine spoke that thought out loud in college, she wasn't crafting a strategy. She was expressing a truth. That expression created motion — and motion invited possibility. As she put it, the person you speak to doesn't need to be the solution. They only need to be part of the current. Ideas travel. Help compounds. Ripples converge. Align: Safety Changes What We're Willing to Try Another defining ripple in Sabine's life came from her parents. When she decided to leave a stable career in chemistry to join the touring world of David Copperfield — quite literally "running away to join the circus" — she bought a one‑way ticket. Her parents didn't discourage her. They didn't frame failure as an outcome. They simply said: "You always have a place to come back to." That assurance created psychological safety — and safety fuels boldness. Sabine reflects that when we remove the label of failure, exploration becomes possible. Decisions no longer carry identity‑level risk. They become experiments. This mindset carried her across continents, into new industries, and eventually into Germany — a country she moved to without speaking the language. Another ripple. Another tide shift. Act: Awareness Is a Daily Practice One of the most grounded insights Sabine shared is that ripples are always happening — but we often miss them. We're busy. Distracted. Rushing. Sabine believes awareness is what allows us to see — and respond to — the currents around us. Her daily practice is simple: - A moment of breath - Writing one thing she's grateful for - Writing one intention for the day Recently, her daily intention has been the same: Be present. Presence sharpens intuition. Presence reveals subtle invitations. Presence lets us notice when someone says exactly what we needed to hear — or when we're the one meant to speak. Ripples don't always announce themselves. They require attention. The Ripple That Keeps Moving Forward Sabine eventually learned that the man who supported her education had himself been helped years earlier. His father had been supported by a wealthy woman who asked for nothing in return — except that he pay it forward. That request became a lineage. Today, Sabine carries it forward through her work: - Supporting women in leadership - Creating platforms for women's voices - Naming inequities that still exist - Refusing to let progress slide backward through silence She shared a recent story of a female physician being asked in an interview, "Why are we talking about salary? Doesn't your husband make enough?" That wasn't decades ago. That was last year. Which is why Sabine believes the work isn't finished — and why ripples still matter. Five Key Takeaways 1. Ripples Start With Speaking Action begins when an idea leaves your head and enters the world. Take Action: Identify one idea, need, or question you've been holding quietly. Speak it out loud to one trusted person this week — without polishing it or knowing the outcome. 2. The Listener Doesn't Have to Be the Solution Ideas travel through people. Trust the current. Take Action: Share an aspiration with someone who may not be able to help directly. Pay attention to where the conversation flows next rather than trying to control it. 3. Safety Enables Bold Choices When failure isn't an identity, courage expands. Take Action: Ask yourself, "What would I try if I knew I could come back safely?" Take one small step toward that decision this month. 4. Awareness Reveals Opportunity Ripples are everywhere — presence lets you see them. Take Action: Begin or end each day by writing one thing you noticed — a comment, interaction, or moment that felt meaningful but easy to overlook. 5. Paying It Forward Creates Tides Small acts, repeated across generations, change systems. Take Action: Perform one quiet act of support this week with no expectation of recognition or return — and consciously release the outcome. A Final Thought You don't need a grand plan. You don't need certainty. You don't need to know how the story ends. You only need to release one honest stone into the water. Because one ripple — truly — can change the tide. More About the Guest Sabine Hutchison is the author of Beyond the Ladder, founder of the Ripple Network, and a leader supporting women in finding and using their voices across science, business, and life. linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sabinehutchison/ website: https://sabinehutchison.com/

    44 min
  8. Aura, Pillar One: Confidence - Why Pushing Harder Isn't Leadership (And What Is) Edge of the Napkin Series — Episode 21

    JAN 18

    Aura, Pillar One: Confidence - Why Pushing Harder Isn't Leadership (And What Is) Edge of the Napkin Series — Episode 21

    Introduction: When Confidence Quietly Turns Into Pressure Most leaders I work with don't lack confidence. They're capable. They've proven themselves. They've built something real. And yet… there's a familiar pattern I see again and again. When the outcome isn't coming, they don't pause. They push. They work longer hours. They inject more of themselves into the system. They become more present in every decision. They try to force momentum. I know this pattern well — because it used to be mine. For a long time, I believed that leadership meant doing more when things got hard. If results stalled, I assumed the answer was effort. More thinking. More talking. More fixing. And if it still didn't work, I quietly blamed myself. What I didn't understand then is what this napkin captures so simply: Confidence, on its own, can turn into overperformance. And overperformance isn't leadership. It's pressure disguised as commitment. The Napkin: The Overperforming Leader On the napkin, you'll see a leader leaning forward, body tense, pushing a massive boulder labeled "Force Outcome." Above it: Pillar One — Confidence Below it: The Leader's Loop This image isn't about laziness versus effort. It's about where confidence goes when it isn't supported. When confidence isn't grounded in congruence, calm, and contribution, it doesn't disappear. It pushes. What Overperformance Really Is Overperformance isn't excellence. It isn't high standards. And it isn't caring too much. Overperformance is what happens when a leader pushes for outcomes instead of holding space for: growth learning alignment discovery impact It looks productive. It feels responsible. But underneath, it's a trust issue — not a work ethic issue. When leaders don't trust the process, the team, or the timing, they compensate with effort. And the system feels it. My Own Pattern (And the Cost) When outcomes weren't coming, I didn't slow down. I worked more. I pushed harder. I forced clarity. I injected more of myself into the situation. And if it didn't work? I internalized it. "I should have done more." "I should have seen this sooner." "I can't let this fail." What I couldn't see at the time was that my overperformance was actually limiting others. I wasn't holding the container. I was lifting the weight for everyone. Leadership Isn't Pushing — It's Holding One of the most important leadership shifts I've made is this: Leadership isn't about pushing outcomes. It's about holding the container. Holding the container means: setting clear intent establishing standards staying present under pressure allowing learning without panic trusting people to step into capability When leaders push, teams hesitate. When leaders hold, teams rise. That's real confidence. Confidence, Reframed Confidence is not believing you'll win. It's trusting that you can stay aligned — even when the outcome is uncertain. It's knowing you don't need to dominate the moment, rush the process, or rescue the system to prove your value. Confidence says: "I can hold this." The Leader's Loop (The Opposite of Forcing) At the bottom of the napkin is the loop that matters most: Hold Space → Trust First → Adjust → Stronger Action This isn't passive. It's disciplined. It replaces urgency with presence. Control with trust. Performance with development. And it works — not immediately, but sustainably. Five Key Takeaways from Episode 332 1. Confidence Alone Can Create Pressure Confidence without balance often shows up as control and urgency. Take Action: Notice where your confidence is creating pressure instead of clarity. 2. Overperformance Is a Trust Signal When you push harder, ask who you don't trust — the team, the process, or yourself. Take Action: Identify one area where effort is replacing trust. 3. Leadership Is About Holding, Not Pulling Great leaders don't drag people forward — they create conditions for growth. Take Action: Ask, "What would holding space look like here?" 4. Calm Is Not Optional Without calm, confidence turns into stress that leaks into the system. Take Action: Regulate yourself before trying to regulate outcomes. 5. Growth Beats Forcing Every Time Capability emerges when people are trusted, not managed harder. Take Action: Step back from one decision this week and let your team step in. Final Thought The strongest leaders I know aren't the ones pushing the hardest. They're the ones who can stand still… stay present… and trust that growth is happening — even when it's uncomfortable. So here's the napkin question I'll leave you with: Where are you pushing — when you could be holding? Write it down. Sit with it. And if it helps, jot it on a paper napkin and share it using #PaperNapkinWisdom. Because sometimes the biggest shift in leadership isn't doing more. It's trusting more.

    16 min
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4.9
out of 5
18 Ratings

About

Paper Napkin Wisdom with Govindh Jayaraman The biggest breakthroughs don't always come from boardrooms, textbooks, or endless strategy decks. More often, they're sparked in simple moments—captured on the back of a napkin. That's the heart of Paper Napkin Wisdom. Each week, host Govindh Jayaraman sits down with entrepreneurs, leaders, athletes, artists, and difference-makers who distill their most powerful insight into one napkin-sized idea. These aren't abstract theories. They're lived lessons—the kind that shift how you see the world and give you tools you can use immediately. From billion-dollar founders and bestselling authors to under-the-radar innovators changing their industries, every guest shares a perspective that challenges assumptions and invites you to loosen your grip on "the way things are." You'll discover how simple reframes can spark growth, how clarity emerges from constraint, and how wisdom becomes powerful only when it's put into action. Expect conversations that are raw, practical, and deeply human. You'll leave each episode not only seeing reality differently, but also knowing exactly what you can try today—in your business, your leadership, or your life. If you're ready for small shifts that lead to big results, this is your place. Grab a napkin, listen in, and share your takeaway with #PaperNapkinWisdom. Because wisdom isn't meant to sit on the page—it's meant to move you forward.

Information

  • Creator
    Govindh Jayaraman
  • Years Active
    2013 - 2026
  • Episodes
    393
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Paper Napkin Wisdom Inc, 2012-2025. Unauthorized use of Paper Napkin Wisdom, WiseNapkin and/or duplication of this material (including images, Podcasts, or any other medium) without express and written permission from this blog's author and/or owner is
  • Show Website
    Paper Napkin Wisdom - Podcast for Entrepreneurs and Leaders