Paradox Outta Da Box

nsobel19

Welcome to the Asylum of Paradox, where we're broadcasting live! Join Eliot Kaplan, Ph.D., Naftoli Sobel, LCSW, and others in the field as they delve into the worlds most dangerous therapy - Paradox Psychology. Discover how this revolutionary therapy overcomes treatment resistance and more through the key ingredient to therapy - the therapeutic alliance. Tune in to explore the power of paradox - why it works, when to apply it, and how to harness its potential for transformative healing. To learn more or contact us visit Paradoxpsychology.com

  1. 3d ago

    #53- Treating OCD: Does ERP Really Work?

    There’s a treatment called Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). Therapists who work with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) know all about it. It’s a specialized form of CBT that is used to treat anxiety and OCD issues. Unfortunately, it has become a ‘cornerstone’ of OCD treatment. On the surface, the approach makes so much sense that nobody even bothers to question it.   The logic is simple. The idea is to expose clients to anxiety-provoking thoughts or situations, while encouraging the person to refrain from their habitual compulsive or avoidant behaviors (e.g., handwashing, checking, excessive cleaning, etc). The hope is that the client will learn that his fears are baseless, and that by tolerating distress and uncertainty, he will get passed being stuck in repetitive behaviors and compulsive rituals to relieve anxiety. Sounds good right?   So what’s the problem?! The problem is that the method is designed to treat only the superficial behavior. With OCD, the compulsive behavior is what we see; however, this only the tip of the iceberg. Underneath, there is a ‘massive iceberg’ below the (water’s) surface which is a debilitating sense of aloneness and isolation. It is the unconscious experience of aloneness, and difficulty in connecting with others, that drives the surface behavior and compulsions. Ultimately, if this core issue of abandonment is not addressed, the therapist is ‘spinning his wheels’ since the underlying issue remains unresolved. The result is that the client ultimately falls back into his old patterns.   This podcast will address what needs to happen for lasting change to take place.

    51 min
  2. 11/13/2025

    50) Top Down or Bottom Up

    Which type of therapist are you? Are you more the ‘expert’ therapist that guides your client in a ‘top down’ approach to behave in an appropriate manner, think more rational, or see things in a more realistic way. Or are you more the ‘explorer’ type who works from the ‘bottom up’ to help realign blocked emotions, ‘parts’, or thoughts to encourage internal integration and growth.   Either way the therapist comes with a ‘helping agenda’ designed to move the client forward to achieve the end goal of being more ‘functional’. The problem, of course, is that even the most motivated of clients’ are not always ready to keep up with their therapist’s well-meaning ‘helping agenda’.   This leads us to suggest a third possible option that is beyond ‘top down’ or ‘bottom up’; what might be called a ‘Here & Now’ approach. Here, in a paradoxical manner, the therapist is willing to let go of his personal agenda to change the client. In so doing, the focus of treatment is to simply strengthen the alliance based on enhancing a trusting relationship that is not dependent on changing behavior, emotions, or thoughts. The focus is to simply accept the client ‘as he is in this moment’.   Instead of trying to encourage the client to be or do more of ‘who he is not’, - in the ‘here & now’ we offer empathy, humor, and genuineness to relieve the client’s underlying experience of abandonment, isolation, and feeling stuck. This unconditional acceptance results in feeling a profound sense of internal relief. When done correctly, this instigates an organic, unplanned, and unexpected level of change that is not subject to a linear or logical agenda.

    55 min
  3. 05/22/2025

    #46 - Treating Big Bad Teens

    The problem with teenagers is that they are neither here nor there. Sometimes they act like adults and sometimes like children. For therapists’ this can be challenging because we don’t always know who will show up. On the positive side, teens have a lot of energy, that when channeled in the right direction, can overcome difficult obstacles. On the negative side, teens often try to assert their independence and believe they can run things better than their parents. When parents’ sense that their authority is being questioned they feel they need to be more strict and controlling. This often triggers a reaction in the teen to further assert his independence, thereby perpetuating a parent-child power struggle. As you might imagine, this often leads to a stale-mate where everyone is miserable. When these families end up in family therapy, the usual assumption is that parents need to be taught communication skills, and learn techniques to retain control, while responding in a calm way. This type of therapy is tedious, time consuming, and requires constant monitoring. Paradox therapy has a different idea. Rather than engaging in power struggle with the teen, the therapist acknowledges that the teen is indeed ‘in control and in charge’ of the family. At first, the teen is thrilled that he gets to be the ‘authority’. He can’t believe it! But after 10 minutes, when he realizes that he is responsible to make all the decisions, he suddenly has a change of heart and doesn’t want this ‘job’ any more. At that point, when he admits that he is really still a child in the family, he willingly surrenders control back to his parents.

    53 min

About

Welcome to the Asylum of Paradox, where we're broadcasting live! Join Eliot Kaplan, Ph.D., Naftoli Sobel, LCSW, and others in the field as they delve into the worlds most dangerous therapy - Paradox Psychology. Discover how this revolutionary therapy overcomes treatment resistance and more through the key ingredient to therapy - the therapeutic alliance. Tune in to explore the power of paradox - why it works, when to apply it, and how to harness its potential for transformative healing. To learn more or contact us visit Paradoxpsychology.com