Parenting Breakdown Cloud10 and Clamor

Welcome to Parenting Breakdown! 

 In this final episode of Season 1, Matt and Rachel discuss: 

- A listener question about how to stop yelling at her child and navigate feelings of regret about parenting 
- Choosing how to relate to - and even turn towards - uncomforable thoughts and feelings so we can move through our shame 
- The patriarchy (our 3rd co-host) comes back for a final visit, contextualizing all those harmful ideas about the "perfect" mom 
- How our modern society makes it so hard to be present with ourselves and our kids 

References: 
- Dr. Ross Greene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvzQQDfAL-Q 
- NPR: Alloparenting: https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2023/12/01/1216043849/bringing-up-a-baby-can-be-a-tough-and-lonely-job-heres-a-solution-alloparents  

Reach out to us with your questions and stories at parentingbreakdown@gmail.com. 

Want to learn more about who we are? 
www.rachelhenes.com 
www.mattbordencoaching.com

Welcome to Parenting Breakdown!
 
In this episode, Matt and Rachel discuss how messages about difference and worth show up in high-achieving school communities - and what schools and parents can do to counter them. 
 
Topics explored:
 
- A listener question about how to help her kid with ADHD who is feeling inadequate under the weight of achievement culture
- Matt's experience growing up within high achieving schools and feeling like an outsider
- The medical vs social model of disabliity and how it can help parents use a broader lens to support their kids
 
Parenting Highlight of the Week:
- Rachel shares a story from a parent who let her child quit a sport, despite the parent's complex feelings about it.
 
Parenting Pivot of the Week
- Matt talks about his penchant for hiding sweets in the house (away from the kids) and wonders what the impact of this action has on the whole family.
 
References:
- Dr. Ross Greene, Lives in the Balance: https://livesinthebalance.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/ALSUPGuide2020-1.pdf
- APA: Models of Disability: https://www.apa.org/ed/precollege/psychology-teacher-network/introductory-psychology/disability-models
 
Reach out to us with your questions and stories at parentingbreakdown@gmail.com
 
Want to learn more about who we are?
www.rachelhenes.com
www.mattbordencoaching.com

Welcome to Parenting Breakdown! 

In this episode, Matt and Rachel discuss the relentless pressure on kids (and parents!) within high-achieving school communities. 

Topics explored: 

- A listener question about how to stay grounded as a parent within high-pressure school cultures 
- The impact of grind culture on parents and kids - and what parents can do to slow down and reclaim their energy 
- What are you parenting in service of? Exploring the discrepancy between what kids and parents say matters most to parents 

Parenting Highlight of the Week: 
- Rachel talks about how the WNBA has helped their family talk about gender equity. 

Parenting Pivot of the Week: 
- Rachel disrupts the evening routine to try and create a special moment and Matt is not happy. 

References: 
- Adrienne Marie Brown: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/239-why-are-we-never-satisfied-with-adrienne-maree-brown/id1564530722?i=1000627034489 

- Suniya Luthar: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201311/the-problem-rich-kids 
 
- Beth Benjamin Cooper: https://www.nais.org/magazine/independent-school/winter-2022/trend-lines-challenging-achievement-culture-in-schools/  

Reach out to us with your questions and stories at parentingbreakdown@gmail.com. 

Want to learn more about who we are? 
www.rachelhenes.com
www.mattbordencoaching.com

Welcome to Parenting Breakdown! 

In this episode, Matt and Rachel explore a question from a mom who wants to help her kids with their emotions. 

- Rachel breaks down how learning how to manage stress is a muscle that we have to build, and the importance of giving space for kids big feelings. Matt reflects on how playfulness can show up in his parenting. 
- Rachel goes over the 3Cs, practices for parents to use when kids are having big feelings and then goes through a real world example in her own home and how she helped deescalate a situation. 

Parenting Highlights: 
- Rachel talks about the importance of self-care. 

Parenting Pivot: - Matt draws a metaphorical line in the sand and then gets the beach dumped on top of his head. 

References: 
- Developmental Iceberg, Dr. Mona Delahooke: 
https://monadelahooke.com/the-developmental-iceberg-looking-below-the-surface-of-challenging-behaviors/  
https://monadelahooke.com/beyond-behaviors/ 

- Kids Do Well If They Can, Dr. Ross Greene: 
https://livesinthebalance.org/walking-tour-old/

Welcome to Parenting Breakdown! In this episode, Matt and Rachel discuss their different responses to hearing about hard moments that their kids are having in the world. 

Topics explored: 
- A listener question about how all-encompassing her own emotions can feel after her daughter tells her about her hard day. 
· Rachel discusses how our own triggers can impact our response to our kids and how she works to slow down her reactions. 
· Matt talks about how it's hard to sit with uncomfortable feelings, but how it's the key to parenting. Plus patriarchy drops in for a quick cameo. It seems he's becoming a series regular! 

Parenting Highlight of the Week: 
· Rachel talks about leaning into being present in the morning even when she was feeling really anxious. 

Parenting Pivot of the Week 
- Matt curses in front of the big dude and gets called out - again 

References: 
- Dana Balicki: https://danabalicki.com/cryinginmyjacuzzi/ 

- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/parenting-translator/202201/why-do-parents-get-upset-when-they-see-their-children-upset 

Reach out to us with your questions and stories at parentingbreakdown@gmail.com. 

Want to learn more about who we are? 
www.rachelhenes.com
www.mattbordencoaching.com

Welcome to Parenting Breakdown! In this episode, Matt and Rachel discuss what consent is really about when it comes to kids, why it matters, and how to build the muscle of asking for and giving consent.

Topics explored: 
· A question from a mom about whether to make her children hug extended family members against their wishes. 
· Matt seeing the impact that utilizing consent could have when he failed to put on his son's winter coat. 
· Consent as preventative and an opportunity for shifting a culture of violence.

Parenting Highlight of the Week: 
· Matt talks about the challenges of parenting solo when Rachel came down with Covid and how he got through it.

Parenting Lesson Learned:  
· Rachel recognizes her desire to "fix" after her child is upset and reflects on the need to give space. Matt finds a way to pat himself on the back.

References: 
- A Call to Men: https://www.acalltomen.org/ 
- bell hooks, All About Love: New Visions: https://www.harpercollins.com/products/all-about-love-bell-hooks 
“When we love children, we acknowledge by our every action that they are not property, that they have rights - that we respect and uphold their rights.”

Reach out to us with your questions and stories at parentingbreakdown@gmail.com

Want to learn more about who we are?
www.rachelehenes.com
www.mattbordencoaching.com