36M AGO

Fighting Fair and Turning Conflict into Strength in Romantic Relationships

In Episode 10 of Penned in Ink, we talk about something every marriage and relationship faces: conflict. Over our 30+ years together, we’ve learned that conflict isn’t the problem. The real issue is how we resolve it, how we heal from it, and how quickly we repair. In this episode, we share the recurring conflict areas we’ve revisited for decades, including money management, parenting style differences, and the tension that can come from extended family expectations. We also walk through conflict resolution tools that have actually worked for us over time, including active listening, reflective listening, setting ground rules for how we argue, and using time-outs the right way so a pause doesn’t become avoidance. We also share a real “Inked Moment” from a travel day that went sideways, where sarcasm, stress, and a few poorly timed comments turned into hurt feelings, and how we repaired it later in a healthy way. Then we put a lens on “his perspective, her perspective” and the difference between problem-solving and emotional validation, including the simple question that can save a lot of fights: “Do you want feedback, or do you just want me to listen?” If you’re dealing with recurring arguments, struggling to communicate, or trying to build a healthier way to repair after hurt, this episode is for you. And to help you apply these tools immediately, we created a guide that walks you through what we use, plus other options that can help you fight fair and build trust through conflict. Get your FREE guide titled “Fighting Fair: 5 Tools to Resolve Conflict and Repair Quickly”. Subscribe for more conversations about marriage, commitment, and building long-lasting love. Chapters 00:00 – Welcome and introduction 03:06 – Recurring areas of conflict 13:24 – Tools for conflict resolution 23:03 – Inked Moments: A travel day went sideways 30:21 – Perspectives: Problem solving v. Emotional validation 36:03 – Strength from conflict 39:37 – Pen to Paper: Use “I statements.” 43:26 – Closing thoughts JOIN the Penned in Ink Community for UpdatesWATCH on YouTubeConnect with Us on Instagram

46 min

FEB 3

Tech Boundaries for Couples: How Tech Changes Love and Connection

Today, we are talking about how technology changes relationships, dating, and marriage. Our relationship started before the internet and before cell phones, so we have a unique lens on what has shifted, and we also see today’s realities through our daughters’ experiences and Melissa’s work as a counselor. We dig into 24/7 connectivity and the pressure to respond instantly, the real pros and cons of dating apps, and how social media creates a highlight reel that makes people feel like they are the only ones struggling. We also explore the problem of technoference, when your phone, or other tech device, interrupts connection in real time, and we talk about digital privacy, oversharing, and why everything you post online is more permanent than you think. We close with the specific tech boundaries we use in our marriage and a Pen to Paper challenge to help you set tech guardrails that actually protect trust in your relationship. If you are ready to take control of your tech boundaries in your relationship, download our FREE guide to get started now. Setting Tech Boundaries: A Conversation Guide for Couples Subscribe for more conversations about marriage, commitment, and building long-lasting love. Chapters 00:00 – Welcome and introduction 01:11 – Dating before the internet and cell phones 06:55 – Navigating tech challenges in modern relationships 08:52 – 24/7 connectivity and the pressure to respond immediately 10:25 – Dating app pros and cons 16:39 – Social media’s impact on your relationship 22:51 – Personal technology security 24:30 – Permanency of online content 25:13 – Bullying and cyber stalking 26:21 – Inked Moments: The “babies are coming” pager 29:08 – Healthy tech habits 41:02 – Pen to Paper: Discuss and set digital boundaries in your relationship 44:49 – Closing thoughts JOIN the Penned in Ink Community for UpdatesWATCH on YouTubeConnect with Us on Instagram

47 min

JAN 20

Money and Marriage: Building Financial Trust in Your Relationship

Money fights are one of the most common sources of stress in relationships, but they don’t have to be. In this episode of Penned in Ink, we talk openly about money, marriage, and how financial transparency builds long-term trust. We share how our early money habits were formed, why avoiding “the money talk” creates hidden tension, and how couples can align financially without control, shame, or fear. We also tackle one of the biggest debates online: should couples combine finances or keep them separate? If you and your partner disagree about spending, feel anxious talking about money, or want a healthier financial foundation for marriage, this conversation is for you. In this episode, we cover: How childhood money experiences shape adult financial habitsWhen couples should have the money talk and what it should includeSpender vs saver dynamics and why goals matter more than labelsWho should manage the money and why budgeting must be sharedCombining finances vs separate accounts and the real pros and consRed flags vs yellow flags during financial conversationsHow transparency builds trust and prevents financial infidelityPen to Paper Challenge: Have you and your partner had a real money conversation? If not, this episode gives you a practical roadmap for when to talk, how to set it up, and what honesty actually looks like. We have also created a FREE guide to help you get started. Get your FREE guide titled "The Money Talk Starter Guide" If this episode resonates, leave a comment and let us know how you and your partner manage money. And if you’re navigating finances before marriage, share this with someone who needs to hear it. Chapters 00:00 – Episode teaser 00:29 – Welcome and introduction 01:43 – Developing your early money habits 07:07 – Having “the money talk” 20:02 – Inked Moments: Starting our retirement planning 22:48 – Who should manage the finances in a relationship? 30:14 – The power of combining finances in marriage 44:00 – Pen to Paper: How to have “the money talk” 55:08 – Closing thoughts Reference Article Gen Z Is Doing Something Before Marriage That Most Americans Never Did JOIN the Penned in Ink Community for UpdatesWATCH on YouTubeConnect with Us on Instagram

56 min

JAN 6

Is Marriage Still Worth It? A Candid Look at Commitment Today

Is marriage still worth it today, or has commitment lost its value? In this episode of Penned in Ink, we take a direct and honest look at one of the biggest questions people are asking right now: Should you still get married? Drawing from over 30 years of marriage, our lived experience, and Melissa’s work as a professional counselor, we talk honestly about why so many people hesitate to commit and what marriage actually offers when it is built intentionally. We don’t romanticize marriage, and we don’t dismiss its challenges. Instead, we explore the real emotional, social, financial, and long-term realities of commitment. From fear of losing independence to anxiety about divorce, from financial pressure to cultural skepticism, we unpack the doubts we hear every day and explain why a strong marriage can still be a powerful framework for building a meaningful life together. This episode isn’t about convincing everyone to get married. It’s about helping you think clearly, ask better questions, and understand what commitment can look like when it’s healthy, mutual, and intentional. 💬 In this episode, we discuss: Why commitment and marriage feel riskier today than they did in the pastThe most common doubts we hear about marriage, including fear of divorce and loss of independenceThe difference between being married and simply living togetherEmotional benefits of long-term commitment and having a true partnerSocial and health impacts of marriage, especially for menFinancial realities of marriage, including stability, shared goals, and long-term wealthWhy marriage is not only for religious peopleThe difference between staying married and building a strong marriageHow healthy marriages model stability for future generationsWhy marriage can be a force multiplier when it’s built the right way🎧 Listen if you are… Questioning whether marriage is still worth itFeeling hesitant about long-term commitmentCurious about the real benefits and challenges of marriageLooking for honest, experience-based perspectives on relationshipsWanting to build something that lasts rather than settlingChapters 00:00 – Episode teaser 00:29 – Welcome and introduction 01:29 – Modern doubts about marriage 01:50 – Doubt 1: Fear of losing your independence 03:09 – Doubt 2: It’s just a piece of paper 03:25 – Doubt 3: Fear of divorce 04:49 – Doubt 4: Marriage is only for the religious 05:28 – The case for marriage 06:22 – Reason 1: Emotional benefits of marriage 07:54 – Reason 2: Social benefits of marriage 11:02 – Reason 3: Financial benefits of marriage 16:17 – Reason 4: Someone to grow old with 18:14 – Reason 5: Optimal structure to raise children 22:17 – Inked Moments: When Melissa questioned commitment 27:48 – Commitment beyond marriage 34:20 – Pen to Paper: How to weigh the benefits of marriage 38:29 – Closing thoughts JOIN the Penned in Ink Community for UpdatesWATCH on YouTubeConnect with Us on Instagram

40 min

12/23/2025

Big Decisions & Bigger Bonds: Navigating Life’s Milestones Together

Ever have to make a big life decision? At some point we are all faced with life-defining decisions. In this episode, we take you inside the biggest decisions we have made across three decades together and show you why celebrating milestones is one of the most powerful tools for building long-lasting love. From cross-country moves and the decision to have more kids or not to eliminating debt and supporting our daughter through a life-changing medical diagnosis, we explore how shared decision-making strengthens trust, creates resilience, and deepens emotional connection. We also highlight the often-overlooked importance of celebrating small wins in your relationship, not just the major life events. We share clear examples couples can learn from: how to evaluate major life choices, how aligned goals fuel momentum, and how celebration, big or small, reinforces the belief that you are building something meaningful together. We start with a discussion around the real process behind our biggest joint decisions, including A cross-country move for a career opportunityDeciding if we wanted a third child and the emotional work behind the choiceLeaning in to eliminate all debt, including our mortgage, and how it changed our family’s future Next, we explore how celebrating milestones builds resilience and why couples must actively mark wins to reinforce connection. We highlight the impact of three big celebrations, including A 70s-themed 50th birthday celebration and the unexpected benefits of simply throwing a partyOur 25th-anniversary trip to Scotland and the renewal that came from our adventure togetherSeeing our daughters graduate from college and launch into adult life, which felt like a huge win for us We then share our most personal story to date when we discuss how resilience formed through earlier wins helped us navigate our daughter’s diagnosis with fascioscapulohumeral muscular dystrophy (FSHD). 💬 Key themes: Aligned decision-making builds trust. Major life choices become easier when couples evaluate trade-offs together using shared criteria, such as a long-term vision and emotional readiness.Celebration reinforces connection. Marking milestones creates positive emotional anchors that relationships can draw strength from in harder seasons.Resilience is built, not born. The work you do as a couple will equip you for the good times, which will prepare you for the storms we can’t predict.Financial clarity is relational clarity. Getting on the same financial page can eliminate stress and open doors for meaningful shared experiences.Small wins matter. Relationship growth often happens in daily moments of courage, communication, and new habits.🎧 Listen if you are… Someone navigating major life decisions such as career moves, finances, or family planning, and want real examples of how couples make those choices together.Looking for practical ways to build resilience and strengthen your relationship before tough seasons arrive.Wanting to understand how celebrating milestones (big and small) can transform the emotional health of a long-term partnership.Chapters 00:00 – Episode teaser 00:29 – Welcome and introduction 02:19 – Big Decision #1 – Moving cross-country for a career opportunity 06:03 – Big Decision #2 – To have another child or not 13:04 – Big Decision #3 – To fully get out of debt, and to live a debt-free life 16:48 – Inked Moments: Throwing Michael’s 50th birthday party 20:21 – Importance of celebrating milestones 23:25 – Big Milestone #1 – 25th Anniversary trip to Scotland 26:22 – Big Milestone #2 – Our children graduating from college 28:33 – Big Milestone #3 – A wedding celebration 31:02 – Story of resilience – Alexa’s diagnosis 32:40 – Impact of Alexa’s diagnosis on our relationship 38:55 – Pen to Paper: Celebrate the small milestones 45:12 – Closing thoughts Learn more about facioscapulohumeral muscular dystrophy (FSHD) JOIN the Penned in Ink Community for UpdatesWATCH on YouTubeConnect with Us on Instagram

46 min

12/08/2025

Navigating Young Love: Communication, Conflict, and Growing Together

Let’s talk about “young love.” This could mean you are young and in love or that you are simply in the early days of your relationship. In this episode, we explore how early relationship habits set the stage for lifelong connection. Our long-lasting love started super early (in our teens!) and has grown and changed over the years. We begin by identifying 10 potential areas of relationship conflict. Spoiler alert… they cover almost every aspect of our lives! And then we dive deeper into three of them: communication, time management, and shared responsibility. Through candid stories, humor, and hard-earned wisdom, we show how every couple can turn friction into growth. Next, we explore how our abilities to manage and address conflict have grown over the years of our marriage. Our conversation spans decades of marriage from our twenties to our fifties. This longevity offers a rare window into how communication and conflict evolve over time. We close with a lighthearted discussion of mistakes we all make, and are still making today, with the goal of letting you know that you are not unique in your struggle to manage conflict in your long-lasting love. 💬 Key themes: Communication and Misinterpretation: How the shift from face-to-face conversations to digital messaging has changed tone, timing, and understanding in relationships.Balancing Priorities in Early Love: Learning to manage school/work, extended family, and romance without making your partner feel secondary.Emotional Labor and Relationship Equity: Recognizing and sharing the invisible work that keeps relationships strong.Growth Through Decades of Change: How communication and conflict evolve across a lifetime of love and partnership.Humor, Reflection, and Practical Application: Using laughter and small daily actions to turn ordinary moments into lasting growth.🎧 Listen if you are… In the early stages of a relationship or marriageTrying to understand how to communicate without misreading tone or intentLearning how to balance individuality and togethernessCurious how long-term couples adapt through each decade of life Chapters 00:00 – Episode teaser 00:29 – Welcome and introduction 01:46 – Core areas of conflict in relationships 03:17 – Quick rundown of 10 identified areas of conflict 06:51 – Deep dive into communication style & emotional expression 11:40 – Deep dive into time management & prioritization 18:36 – Deep dive into emotional labor & relationship maintenance 23:48 – Inked Moments: Pet peeves from early days of living together 26:54 – How has our communication evolved over the years together? 40:34 – Common relationship mistakes and how to avoid them 47:18 – Pen to Paper: Address issues early 48:58 – Closing thoughts JOIN the Penned in Ink Community for UpdatesWATCH on YouTubeConnect with Us on Instagram

50 min

11/25/2025

The Other Half: Balancing Dual Careers

How do you balance two careers, raise a family, and still stay deeply connected? In this episode of Penned in Ink, we discuss the challenges and rewards of navigating dual careers over 30+ years of marriage. From the impact of a cross-country move and shifting financial roles to moments of imbalance and mutual support, we share how teamwork, flexibility, and shared vision have shaped our story of long-lasting love. We explore Michael’s career in the tech industry, the decision to uproot our family for a career opportunity, and the lessons learned about work-life “imbalance” in the best possible sense. Melissa offers her perspective on stepping away from her counseling career to raise our twin daughters and the gratitude that came from being able to return to her profession with renewed purpose and stability. Together, we explore how each season of marriage demands different strengths, how not keeping score keeps us aligned, and how shared goals keep our partnership thriving through every career chapter. 💬 Key themes: The Myth of Work-Life Balance: Why short-term imbalance is normal, and how couples can find balance over the long haul instead.Supporting Each Other’s Ambition: What it looks like to celebrate your partner’s career growth while staying connected as a team.Shared Goals, Shared Wins: The power of treating finances, responsibilities, and family milestones as “ours” instead of “mine” and “yours.”Communication Without Keeping Score: Navigating changing responsibilities at home and work without resentment or comparison.Building a Stable Foundation: Why stability, consistency, and adaptability matter more than perfection in long-lasting love.🎧 Listen if you… Are balancing two careers and want to stay connected as a couple.Have ever wondered what “real” work-life balance looks like in long-term relationships.Or your partner are considering stepping back or switching careers and wants to talk through the impact on your relationship.And your partner are learning how to share goals, finances, and responsibilities without keeping score.Are in a season of career transition, parenting, or new beginnings, and need perspective on what matters most. Chapters 00:00 – Episode teaser 00:29 – Welcome and introduction 02:40 – Michael’s Career Background 03:35 – How did you choose your career? 05:35 – How many different jobs have you had at your current company? 07:38 – How important is continual learning in your profession? 10:25 – Career milestones 13:48 – Benefits of a flexible work environment 15:50 – Impact of being the sole financial provider 28:14 – Transition back to a dual career family 38:28 – How career differences strengthen our relationship 45:04 – The power of combined resources 49:09 – The myth of work/life balance 50:25 – Pen to Paper: Support your partner’s ambitions 53:29 – Closing thoughts JOIN the Penned in Ink Community for UpdatesWATCH on YouTubeConnect with Us on Instagram

55 min

11/11/2025

The Counselor’s Lens: Insights from a Helping Profession

In this episode of Penned in Ink, we explore how Melissa’s 20+ years as a clinical mental health counselor shape her views on relationships, communication, and long-lasting love. From lessons learned through her work with hundreds of clients in sessions to moments of vulnerability at home, this honest and insightful conversation dives into what counseling can teach us about empathy, respect, and the everyday work of building a healthy relationship with your partner. Melissa opens up about the most common struggles she sees in her clients, including miscommunication, the lack of respect for differences, and an imbalance in shared responsibilities. We explore how those same themes play out in our 30+ year marriage. 💬 Key themes: What a counselor sees most often in relationshipsWhy communication and empathy are at the heart of lasting loveHow professional insights can improve personal relationshipsWhat “active” and “reflective” listening really meanWhy gratitude is one of the most underrated tools for connection 🎧 Listen if you… Are struggling to fully communicate with your partnerWant to get a better understanding of the different ways we communicateAre looking for tools to improve your own communication skillsWant to gain a better appreciation of the role counseling can play in building relationship skills Chapters 00:00 – Episode teaser 00:29 – Welcome and introduction 01:00 – Melissa’s career background 09:32 – The work of a counselor 12:45 – Common relationship challenges 23:22 – Career milestones 29:36 – How counseling skills help build relationships 35:18 – When counselors struggle too 41:40 – A deeper appreciation for our strong marriage 44:50 – Pen to Paper: Practice active and reflective listening 49:00 – Disclaimer - This podcast is not clinical advice 51:00 – Closing thoughts JOIN the Penned in Ink Community for UpdatesWATCH on YouTubeConnect with Us on Instagram

54 min

10/28/2025

Writing Our Story: Why We Chose Commitment

In this episode of Penned in Ink, we open up about the early decisions that shaped our marriage; why we chose commitment over convenience, and how that choice set the tone for 30 years together. From family influence to the expectations of our generation, we explore the real reasons we got married and how those reasons evolved over time. With humor, vulnerability, and a touch of nostalgia, we reflect on the difference between marriage and cohabitation, the vows that became second nature, and what it means to choose each other every day. It’s an honest look at how our love matured from idealism and tradition to an intentional partnership. 💬 Key themes: The meaning of marriage beyond religion or traditionHow upbringing and family shape relationship choicesWhy “stability” and “permanence” mattered in building the foundation of your loveThe hidden strength found in vows and shared goalsHow commitment can evolve into growth🎧 Listen if you… Are navigating the difference between love and long-term commitmentGrew up with different models of marriage or family stabilityAre questioning whether marriage still “means something” todayBelieve in love that lasts because it’s chosen, not just feltChapters 00:00 – Episode teaser 00:27 – Welcome and introduction 01:20 – Why did we choose marriage? 05:15 – Why marriage vs. cohabitation? 10:08 – Inked Moments: Our proposal story 15:05 – A 30+ year secret is revealed 17:37 – Marriage Isn’t Just for Religious People 21:38 – What is the foundation of our marriage? 25:59 – The Power of Vows & Shared Goals 30:20 – Puppy time with Ginger 32:46 – His Perspective, Her Perspective: How choosing commitment makes you stronger 42:51 – Pen to Paper: Discuss shared goals with your partner 47:41 – Closing thoughts JOIN the Penned in Ink Community for UpdatesWATCH on YouTubeConnect with Us on Instagram

49 min

10/14/2025

Our Inked Beginning: How We Started

In this premiere episode, we share our story from a childhood soccer crush to a three-decade marriage built on commitment, resilience, and humor. We open up about early struggles (balancing work, grad school, and finances), the moments that tested our relationship, and the mindset shifts that helped us build something lasting. The conversation sets the foundation for the Penned in Ink series: real stories, honest lessons, and a look at why commitment still matters in a world that often questions it. 💬 Key themes: How young love evolves into a lifelong partnershipWhat “commitment” really means when life gets hardFinding purpose in your relationship storyHow humor, a belief in each other, and shared goals help couples last 🎧 Listen for: Candid moments about marriage in your 20sWhy we started Penned in InkAn inspiring reminder that love stories worth keeping are written one intentional choice at a time.Chapters 00:00 – Episode teaser 00:22 – Welcome to Penned in Ink 00:50 – The story of how we met 04:30 – Inked Moments: Early dating memories 09:16 – Early marriage struggles: balancing grad school, money, and family 21:19 – His Perspective, Her Perspective: Initial attraction 32:27 – Why we started Penned in Ink 46:49 – Pen to Paper: Visualizing what you want in a partner 49:21 – Closing thoughts JOIN the Penned in Ink Community for UpdatesWATCH on YouTubeConnect with Us on Instagram

51 min

Penned in Ink | Marriage and the Power of Lasting Love

Episodes

Fighting Fair and Turning Conflict into Strength in Romantic Relationships

Tech Boundaries for Couples: How Tech Changes Love and Connection

Money and Marriage: Building Financial Trust in Your Relationship

Is Marriage Still Worth It? A Candid Look at Commitment Today

Big Decisions & Bigger Bonds: Navigating Life’s Milestones Together

Navigating Young Love: Communication, Conflict, and Growing Together

The Other Half: Balancing Dual Careers

The Counselor’s Lens: Insights from a Helping Profession

Writing Our Story: Why We Chose Commitment

Our Inked Beginning: How We Started

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