Penny Wagers

James Hart

Instead of analyzing myths and folklore, I prefer to help you walk through 'em. There are also essays about perambulations, poetry and other cool stuff. Come on in. The water's nice, so feel free to take your shoes and socks off. pennywagers.substack.com

  1. 2d ago

    Lomna's Head

    (This story may seem tragic or disturbing, but please know everyone involved speaks of it fondly. It’s just one of those things.) A long-distance runner, my dad used to get up at 4:30 every morning to run 17 miles. Then he’d shower, make coffee, eat his two bran muffins and wake me up for school. More than a bit Type A, my dad. His running route would bring him by our new neighbors. He’d pass by their house a few times as he ran his circuit. Never once did he see them stir. During more regular hours, they never came out, never introduced themselves, never so much as waved over the fence. Then my dad makes his coffee one morning, and everything that follows he remembers forever. He sips his cup by the kitchen window, then dazes out onto the street and Aaron North’s woods beyond it. He then sees something come up the hill to his left. It’s someone from the neighbor’s house. A late teen or early twenties kid with no shirt on. Well actually, he’s using an inverted t-shirt as a kind of hair-tie and he’s doing this kind of slow-motion exaggerated run up the hill. Very Chariots of Fire. In his right hand is a samurai sword. The kid runs over to our next-door neighbor’s house. My dad moves over to the living room windows to watch him scale our neighbor’s deck, assess the bay windows, then slash them into glitterdust. He then crosses the threshold of the window, cuts himself quite bad but doesn’t so much as flinch, and then collapses on our neighbor’s living room couch. Our neighbors had a son with Schizophrenia. He was off his meds but no one knew it. The theory was that our neighbors were keeping to themselves out of some combination of fear and shame. They were understandably mortified to learn what happened. My dad and our neighbor were just glad no one got permanently hurt, and the whole thing got our neighbors out of hiding. We never became close, but they started waving to us from their front lawn after that. The language surrounding folks like my neighbor may make it sound as if ours is a culture of compassion, inclusivity and understanding. But I’d politely point to our daytime clubhouses for those with cognitive impairments—always in rusted out industrial parks, never near the center of town. Our nursing homes and their epidemic of neglect and loneliness. Our neighbors, who were so cagey about telling us about their son. It’s all downstream from a modern cultural blind spot. Ours is a society always looking toward Winter North. You’re only as valuable as your output. Non-producers are a bit of a burden, a bit of an eyesore. That’s why I dislike the term “special needs.” It frames people in terms of the liabilities they impose, not their value. In older Celtic folk cultures, they would sometimes use terms that meant something like “touched.” As in touched by The Gentry, the People of the Hill. The connotation was fuller and more complicated than our own. To be touched was mostly a curse to be pitied, but not entirely. After all, things happen during encounters with the Fair Folk. Those involved are never quite the same. They carry a bit of the Otherworld about them, so it’d be to your detriment to dismiss them entirely. The Welsh knew all about Myrddin, the battle-mad Man of the Wood who divulged prophecies to apple trees. Best not dismiss what can’t be immediately understood. Older folklore used terms like “touched” or “away with the fairies.” In Christian Ireland, another euphemism started cropping up: duine le Dia. Person of God. Call them superstitious if you like, but for my druthers, I prefer their starting point to our own. As for Lomna’s story, I have a hard time with parts of it—especially the events at Coirpre’s camp. I can’t say that I know exactly what it means to feed a severed head some of your fish, but to do so would require giving time and attention to something that made me uncomfortable. Something possibly difficult to look at if I wasn’t used to it. Over the weekend, I was lamenting the state of my voice at length to my wife. I mean, c’mon, it’s been four weeks at this point. I’ve never heard of anyone with a permanently altered voice after a minor cold. My wife said that unfortunately, it’s been known to happen. I asked her if this was likely the case with me. She said she didn’t know. I nodded, then stepped outside to take the trash out. The clouds in the west were darkening and coming in fast. My own next-door neighbor caught me looking at them. He was a good kid who’s had to overcome a couple traumatic brain injuries. (I don’t know the nature of them; this is just what he told me the first time we met.) I pointed at the clouds. “Think it’ll rain soon?” He didn’t follow my finger. Just stared straight at me and said, “Momma says it’s on God’s time. Why try to hurry it along? It’ll come when it comes.” It no longer sounded like we were merely talking about the weather. “Your momma’s a smart lady,” I said. “This is just a shot in the dark, but you don’t know the significance of a speckled white-bellied salmon by any chance, do you?” Get full access to Penny Wagers at pennywagers.substack.com/subscribe

    13 min
  2. Jun 8

    Perceval on Turtle Island

    He galloped toward the forest’s boundand rode in on a path he found,where there were hoofprints, freshly madeby horses passing through the glade.“This is the way the people took,the ones for whom I came to look.”He galloped through the forest fast,not stopping while the trail would last.—Perceval by Chrétican de Troyes There’s nothing for it but to strip down naked and make an assessment. It would have to be fast. Who knows how much time I have before some couple or unsuspecting family happen across me in my birthday suit, writhing around in the sand like some frantic chinchilla. I start laughing as I slap my shirt and turn it inside out. Sitting atop a bed of ticks was absolutely not on today’s bingo card, but games change quickly out here. The plan was just to Go Out again. Venture out past the strip malls to meet back up with Percival and the Fisher King, like I’ve been doing lately. That may have been my company out here, but I’m nowhere near Brocéliande. No, this is Thunderbird country, my friend, Turtle Island is Coyote’s place. He’ll pull the rug out from you every time. I’m glad I’m laughing at this. It’s not something I would have found easy to do just a year ago. Ambling along Wonder Mountain amid all manner of wild and icky weirdness has made me more understanding of nature’s surprises. Black widow babies crawling around your site will do that. Truth be told, I’d still rather be out here, ticks or no ticks. I’ve been having a hard time with the idea of Return as of late. I mean, for goodness’ sake, why? What is there to return to? Watching my third career implode across the globe? Environmental degradation at the hands of linear thinking? A culture so obsessed with maximizing its outcomes that existence itself has become a utility equation? Horchata Frappuccinos? That’s all rather one-sided, of course. People are meeting in person more. Self-checkout lines are withering, vinyl and flip phone sales are up. Humanity seems to be making in-roads. It’s just that I seem to be able to tolerate only so much participation in my own time and place. Percival spent his adulthood searching for the old wisdom necessary to heal the Angler. It wasn’t nostalgic romanticism for him, either. …He also did a ton of dumb crap, too, but I think sitting along a tick-infested shoreline is a blunder unique to me. Clothes back on and just a few steps back up the trail, I pass two women on their way to the shore. See? Look at that, I knew I didn’t have much time. Risking indecent exposure was still the better option over Lyme disease or alpha-gal. Some retired forester who now turns wooden bowls for a living told me we live in the largest alpha-gal hotspot on the coast, perhaps the continent. He told me it wasn’t always like this. I told him that I remember when it wasn’t. We’re both older than Galahad in that way. For him, the land was always blighted. However, he knew it was the Angler’s wound that so scarred the world. To heal the man was to heal the land. That’s something I wish we still understood. Mind retraining. That’s a big part of it. It’s why John Moriarty left his university teaching track. He felt that he could no longer prepare students to thrive in an environment he no longer believed in. He had to retrain his brain, he said, retrain it away from his compartmentalized, productivity-first, outcome-obsessed European education. It starts with the mind, perhaps, but it’s got to reach body, spirit and soul, too. That’s what Moriarty said he wanted, to walk back into the woods and find his bush soul. I find myself trailing just behind him on occasion, following paths away from town and toward everything that was there before it. I can’t stay out here, though, as much as I think I’d want to. Percival never stayed in the forest, nor did he kick up his feet for too long in Camelot. Tarry not idly by the chapel perilous, good sir, the work of the road lies before you. After all, the names of Percival, Vasilisa the Beautiful and Fionn mac Cumhaill come out strange in our mouths today. We’ve forgotten the very sound of the Primum Mobile, the gears that keep the spheres aloft. If all it took to true our cosmic wheels was to share their names a little, wouldn’t you do it? Wouldn’t you do what you could to share them? Stories. That’s what’ll heal our culture’s dolorous stroke, I think. Stories heal the man, stories heal the land. I walk up the hill and head back to the car. Get full access to Penny Wagers at pennywagers.substack.com/subscribe

    5 min
  3. Jun 1

    Saint Winifred's Beheading

    “Where’s your head at?” This is something my father asked me all throughout my childhood. Almost always when my head was somewhere it shouldn’t be. Continuing that line of thought, I’d argue that entire dissertations could be built upon contemplating the significance of just where exactly Saint Winifred’s head is at. Consider the chase. Caradog’s on the horse, sword in hand. The outside threat closes in with greater speed and force, as it often will. And Winifred was almost inside the church, wasn’t she? Her study and formal devotion to a life of faith was nearly complete. She almost made it fully in. It matters that her body collapsed just at the threshold while her head landed within the church. Recall that to the medieval Celts, the head was connected to the soul, the life force, the spiritual power of a person. So, Caradog’s outside. Winifred’s head landed inside while her body remained beyond the door. Beuno and the community are inside, and it’s from inside that they prayed for her. The well and Caradog’s fate are interesting too, aren’t they? To the Welsh and the Celts, spirituality was not confined to our thoughts, or some internal life of the mind. Fidelity to the Creator influenced creation itself. That’s why I’d argue that Winifred’s story is not merely a virtue anecdote. Her Wales was a world of mutual relationship among people, the earth, spiritual devotion, ancestry, stories, ritual and community. There’s much in our own present we’d do well to revive ourselves. Get full access to Penny Wagers at pennywagers.substack.com/subscribe

    11 min
  4. May 18

    Lugaidh's Son

    Hear the story first, before we get to what’s below: There’s an old Anglo-Saxon word that would be helpful in a conversation such as this. We don’t know it anymore, but you can find it in the first lines of Beowulf. Þrym. We say it means something like “glory”—that’s how it’s often translated, anyway—but the real meaning is much harder to pin down because we don’t use words in the same way we once did. Instead of treating it as a concept, it’s more helpful to consider it a kind of feeling. Þrym is the sensation you get standing feet away from an entire army marching into battle. It’s also something you might feel while looking up at the Sistine Chapel. Ever meet a celebrity you were a huge fan of and get star-struck? That’s þrym for you, too. Fionn mac Cumhaill certainly had þrym; there are plenty of stories that bear that out. Me? Eh, I’m not exactly Lugaidh’s son (although in my younger years you’d probably have a hard time telling us apart). I’m more like the guy walking up the hill to talk to Fionn about Lugaidh’s managerial style—the one so unassuming and non-central to the tale that he doesn’t have a name. Not a complaint, just an observation. There’s a lot of peace in freedom in being that guy. I often wonder what I’d say if I were Fionn, though. What I might tell my younger self to help him improve his aim a little. If it were me and I had the opportunity, here are some things I’d probably say: * You’re not wrong in your assessment of the world—it’s just that you only know half the story. There are reasons why things are as they are, and no one’s the villain of their own story. So speak to the exiled hero in them; ignore the ever-present villain. * Faith doesn’t have to be an intellectual exercise. Columba got neck-deep in freezing water to recite the psalms. People thought he was a little nuts perhaps but hey, look at him now. * Your grandmother wasn’t quirky, she was right. Know the names of every flower in your yard. Regarding the animals and the birds who frequent your home, give them your own names and regard them as your neighbors. Learn how to listen to them. * This world is long on reason and short on intuition. The latter you will need to work on. It has important things to tell you that can’t be learned elsewhere. * You’re going to want to define yourself by the things you love the most. Pursue them by all means, but they can’t ever be an identity. Humans live in the Contraries, not within their definitions. * Your world lives almost entirely in Winter North with the occasional Summer South vacation. But being a human being requires learning the lay of Autumn West and Spring East. Your culture won’t take you to those places. (There’s no money in it.) * Walk barefoot more often. * Practice starving your ego. It’s helpful for getting things done, not for empathy or understanding. (Don’t worry, it’ll always come back.) * If you’re looking for some home decor, might I suggest a sign in the mud room above the front door that says “don’t judge and stop worrying so much.” * Architecture lies to you. There is no “In Here” versus “Out There.” It’s all Out There. As Gary Snyder tries to tell us, the mountain is sitting past the forests and the hills. The mountain is also hoarding acorns on the sidewalk. The mountain is pumping gas. Get full access to Penny Wagers at pennywagers.substack.com/subscribe

    9 min
  5. May 11

    Saint Melangell of Powys

    Late Wednesday afternoon was not a time for phones or wallets. The cottonwoods were already shedding, sprinkling the air with motes as weightless as the late day sunlight. You can’t catch their linty stipples; snatch as fast or as stealthily as you like, they just pass around and through your fingers on their descent toward the creek. The whole span of the water was awash in their fluid bokeh. I don’t think I was ever aware that locust trees could smell like this. Had they always? I leaned closer to a flower to check if it was indeed their fragrance I was picking up. Their sweet traces followed me up the path as I shuffled toward the Detour. Mr. Wendell was up there, making the neighborhood rounds on his lawnmower. There’s an easy way to tell the town locals from the part-time renters and corporate homeowners: the latter two would always hire an overpriced, underpaid landscaping team to cut their grass while the locals called Mr. Wendell. He saw me and gave his standard two-finger salute as he rounded the next corner. I took the lane leading off the Detour so I could take another look at the Narnia lamp. Some people think Lucy met Tumnus by a lamppost in Aslan’s land, and certainly that’s the case, but it’s here, too. Just past the road that will take my daughter home from school. The lamp looks different in the mid-day light. I tell my daughter to go visit it after the sun sets. The time to check for fawns is dusk, I remind her, always in the dusk. The forest was as welcoming as always, and I was thankful for that. I was, however, having trouble keeping myself to myself. The prior insanities of the day kept encroaching onto the lane, insisting they walk with me. Sometimes that’s okay. It’s important to let them have their say from time to time. But they’ve been altogether too chatty as of late and I was here to seek some solitude. I didn’t get it. In my first few crumpled leaf-brown footsteps down the trail, I came across a robin. I love robins. Their unfinished songs remind me of early spring mornings in the house that grew me up. I’d wake to robin calls and look out my window. Watch the bright spring sunlight throw a kaleidoscope across the dewy leavings of the previous night’s frost. Robins were the sound of cold kitchen mornings and my mother smiling at the window because it was Saturday. The robin doesn’t fly away, though. He forages in the leaves, takes two steps forward and stays there. I take a step myself, careful to give him space. Again he picks at the ground, hops forward along the path and again I follow. It goes on like this for ten yards or so. Twenty, then thirty. He turns his head, then starts again, always down the path and never off it. Sixty yards becomes a hundred. He and I share the walk for the better part of a mile. He only flies away when we reach the terminus: another robin screeches and reminds him of their avian property lines. My friend flies toward the water and I hope he knows that I owe him now. We’re travel companions, he and I. Some say Saint Melangell’s story is just an allegorical teaching tool meant to explain her spiritual significance and based on a Welsh fairy tale. It’s not meant to be taken literally. What I say is that the more I encounter this kind of flat attention, utterly insisted upon throughout our world’s housing developments, strip malls and offices, the more I understand why she sought her green martyrdom in the first place. Get full access to Penny Wagers at pennywagers.substack.com/subscribe

    8 min
  6. May 4

    Fionn and the Old Man's House

    As I mentioned at the start, this one’s a real beauty of the Fenian Cycle. So much to unpack in just a few short minutes. The story does of course take place in an older Ireland, before Christianization. Some folks might be quick to judge the story on those grounds. I understand the impulse, but some things I’d point out before we toss it out: * It’s precisely because of Irish Christians telling these stories to themselves over the years that they were able to survive to the present day. They obviously saw a value in them beyond entertainment, or like other entertainments, they’d have been forgotten as soon as we figured out television. * These stories span the length of Christianization in Ireland. In fact, they tell that story explicitly. Ossian’s discussions with Saint Patrick are hard not to read as a discussion between Pagan and Christian Ireland, trying to get to know one another. Honestly, I wish I was privy to what they discussed when I was younger; it would have helped clarify a lot of confusion with questions I had myself. * For this story, as with any good poetry, the images are the thing. My master’s advisor warned us once that there will come a day when you realize that who you see in the mirror is not the fullness of who you are. That you’re going to wonder where those other yous went. If they’re still in there somewhere, behind who you’re facing now. The first time that happens is roughly how this story makes me feel. For folks of a Christian persuasion, it’s my personal feeling that belief doesn’t hide us from that moment, but puts it into a better context. Get full access to Penny Wagers at pennywagers.substack.com/subscribe

    7 min
  7. Apr 27

    Saint Ciarán of Clonmacnoise

    These stories likely seem silly today. They’re not real, right? Like, did they really happen? What does the historical record say? My answer to these aligns pretty closely with why I’m sharing them. There’s a lot we have to untangle first, though. For my part, I’m going to have to over-extend a bit, and tread a little past where my toes can touch. I hope you’ll bear with me; I think these are places we all really need to go, and the sooner we wade out into the water, the better. So let’s suppose a few things, okay? Let’s use our imaginations and suppose a few things. The Trade for Artistic Clarity Let’s start with the Council of Trent, because Back to School is still funny to me after all these years, and also because some interesting things started to happen afterward. The Church was doubling down on its defense of sacred art and stories—and let me tell you, they went nuts over the Baroque stuff—but there was also a narrowing of what might be called “artistic possibility”: clearly religious artwork was ay-okay, but there was also a call for bishops to remove art they felt was confusing in its message, borderline superstitious, inappropriate, or unclear in its purpose. Were these always clear calls to make? After all, many great stories and works of art are more embodied than they are clear. Some are mysterious, profound, provocative, fun, and contain elements of truth that cannot easily be codified. When demanding clarity, these are the things that can get left behind. Now let’s suppose something a little more heavy: let’s try to pinpoint where the world shifted on its axis. The Trade for Reason We’ll move up to the late 1800s, when the Age of Reason was bringing us into the Modern. Pope Leo XIII starts freaking out over what he saw as false philosophical conclusions spreading through public and private life. (Hardly the first time this has been a problem; philosophical sophistry was old and problematic even in his time.) So the Church decides to fight fire with fire. Leo writes Aeterni Patris, urging Catholics to return to scholasticism and “the golden wisdom” of St. Thomas Acquinas. This brings the Church into a more organized, rational, and definition-focused approach to faith. This didn’t happen in a vacuum. At the time, the entire western world was bringing itself into a more organized, rational and definition-heavy approach to how it perceives reality. People demanded proof, records, documentation and a scientific approach to navigating the world. Ideas that could be standardized, defined, measured and repeated at scale became the focus. In turn, the Church continued to spread, and we were able to achieve wonderful things like steam engines, latticework skyscrapers, X-rays and other advancements that helped humanity to flourish. But let’s suppose there may have been some casualties in this universal march toward progress. Inside the Church, some of the first to go were wakes, pattern days and local mysteries. These weren’t so much sworn off so much as ignored because they were seen as embarrassing. Embarrassing because they were hard to defend to a public who became increasingly trained on scientific thinking. This led to saints shifting in their roles. Instead of reminding us that we inhabit a vivid world of mystery, spiritual relationships and sacred landscapes, saints were now used as a safe model for how one should behave. A lot more could be said and suggested about the Church’s further trajectory and its parallels to the rest of the west, but let’s leave them for now and move over to post-war America. The Trade for Space Suppose that prior to the Great Wars, rural and urban life enjoyed overlaps that today are difficult to find. In prior centuries, urban parishes weren’t just a group of folks who all went to the same place on Sundays. They were a community brought together by a connected neighborhood, a school, a government and an ethnic identity. Out in the sticks, you had much the same. Village festivals were attended by all who lived there. People passed their parish on foot when they went to the market. They knew the name of the carpenter who constructed the doors. For these folks, the stories about their saints weren’t just some moral story—locals could show you the very spot where their great-gran told them Ciaran first met the stag. You could likely speak to Oengus’ descendants who lived not too far from Ciaran’s field. But in America, two things happened. One of course was immigration, which saved countless families from war, famine and economic hardship, but it also severed their ancestry from their sense of place. Kids could no longer point to the place where their great grandparents built their home. And then there came post-war American housing. Suppose that in addition to being kitschy, the suburbs created a radical new way to live. In exchange for bigger houses and spacious yards, we also became spread out in ways we didn’t realize. The layers of daily life—parish, watershed, job, school district, migration routes, voting districts and the land where our food came from—that were once stacked on top of one another were now separate and exclusive. People start driving more to reach these layers, and parishes are now chosen out of proximity and convenience. On Sundays, parishioners sit beside strangers they don’t work with or live beside, and their kids go to different schools. They don’t know one another beyond being a face in the pew. What is a story about Saint Ciaran to them? They weren’t born in Ireland, their parish isn’t their neighborhood and after mass, there’s the grocery store to drive to and soccer games to attend. So, suppose we stop telling saints’ stories on pattern days. Suppose we stop with the pattern days altogether. Radically Old-Fashioned Are these stories real? Did they actually happen? My answer is that these are precisely the kinds of questions a recipient of these trades would ask. But for me, they don’t take me anywhere helpful or interesting. Not everything can or should be approached through reason and rationality. I think we lost a few things along the past few centuries. I also think we continue to lose something when we insist upon reason inside domains it doesn’t serve. Call me old-fashioned in the medieval sense, but I’d rather ask these: What kind of holiness is going on here? What is being shown to us? Where do we go to meet the kind of good these stories inhabit? And how do we keep it going in a world like ours? Get full access to Penny Wagers at pennywagers.substack.com/subscribe

    18 min

About

Instead of analyzing myths and folklore, I prefer to help you walk through 'em. There are also essays about perambulations, poetry and other cool stuff. Come on in. The water's nice, so feel free to take your shoes and socks off. pennywagers.substack.com