There … Are you satisfied now? You made Jen cancel the podcast.
Jen begged, pleaded, threatened, got annoyed, got angry, and finally she rose above it all and wished you all well. Did you become a sustaining subscriber on Patreon? No! She announced goals. She paid for help. She gave you a 7-day free trial. She gave away tote bags. Did any of that eke out 1 measly dollar from you, Tightwad Tanya? No!
Oh, you did use that 7-day free trial. However, you canceled right away leaving a tidy sum of $0.00 on the table. You sure know how to put yourself out there, don’t you? When it comes time to supporting Jen, all of a sudden you “need to cutback because you already have too many subscriptions.” Horse Kidneys!
This isn’t the first time Jen needed your help and you stood there with a dumb blank expression on your face. She could have been touring on a private jet to big theaters across the nation having the time of her life if you had bought tickets to her appearances. Instead, you said you would “Watch her special on Netflix” … and then … not even do that.
What’s it going to take??? Huh? How about buying cleverly crafted merchandise that has cute/witty/interesting sayings? Again, No! You’ll just listen to the free version of the podcast and complain about the amount of annoying commercials. How are we going to get it through your thick skull that it all costs money? … including Patreon carving out a nice healthy slice of the pie for themselves. Now, Jen can count on you to do 1 thing: lament that the podcast is going away. She deserves a lot better than your sorry existence.
Jen is being forced, by your hand, to justify to herself that she doesn’t want to tour or talk about her life anymore and that she is thrilled about writing for someone else at an office job. Do you know why that’s so? She traveled to your town, arranged for the theater, did morning radio with the grossest people on God’s green earth and then she comes out on stage to CRICKETS. How infuriating! Her return on all this effort: bupkis … sometimes even less than diddly squat. Others are rewarded with millions every month doing that. Instead, her fan base is a bunch of Cheapskate Charlenes who won’t pony up even if a gun is pointed to their head.
It’s too late now! This ship has sailed.
