Planet Maynard

Maynard

Maynard from Australia. Take a journey through pop culture with no clear purpose or destination. Always shameless.

  1. -3 ДН.

    The Spotfull James Valentine. Free of domestic guilt.

    In 2007 James Valentine revealed to me why he is free of domestic guilt. His book Spotfull was out, as a reaction to people who spend their entire weekend cleaning their white goods. This is from the Maynard International Studios 2007 archive in the hope that James may persuade you to have a bath instead of cleaning it. James Valentine official website Maynard backstage while doing guest trombone with The Models 1985. Maynard: James, what is Spot Full all about? I think from my perspective, I find it dull on the radio, but you are a recovering cleaning addict. What’s the story?James Valentine: It’s true. Look it, it’s Spotfull is the book I’ve written as a response to the Spotless phenomenon and I’ve had to do,Maynard: and that’s just insane. There’s too many fuss budgets out there with time on the hands.James Valentine: Exactly. And I had to do this because, I am responsible for Spotless. I introduced Shannon Lush and the whole bicarbonate and soda and vinegar cleaning phenomenon to Australia, and I apologize for it. I’m sorry. I dunno what, I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t know the genie. I was letting outta the bottle when that happened. Turn the nation into a group of people obsessed with cleaning, with getting rid of all spots and stains. And I just thought, I don’t think people really live like that. I think people live like pigs. Spotfull encourages you to live free of domestic guilt, to embrace your inner a slob and just lie back and relax.Maynard: Yes. So I’m a single guy living on my own.James Valentine: Oh, you are one. You. Prime Spotfull candidate.Maynard: See, I don’t clean till I say it’s time to clean or my parents or a date is coming over.James Valentine: Yeah, I would suggest the true Spotfull approach would be that the date never comes over. What are motels for?Maynard: Exactly.James Valentine: And it’s cheaper. It’s cheaper. You would be better off hiring a nice room in a hotel than you would be trying to clean up your pad, I would imagine, mate.Maynard: And you can get away with free drinks there if you do it properly.James Valentine: I advocate it’s cheaper to stay in five star hotels than renovate.No one should ever bother to renovate a home. You should simply move out and live in five star luxury.Maynard: I read that chapter because apparently the renovation cost can change. Where the cost of checking into a five star hotel doesn’t,James Valentine: it doesn’t. You know what you’re in for. If you decide to renovate your falling down home the quote will be 100,000. You’ll end up paying 200,000. When you go to check into a hotel, they say, thank you very much. It’s 200 a night and it stays 200 a night. So you know what you’re in for and it’s much better. And if you renovate a home, you turn it into a home that has to be cleaned.Maynard: James, one thing that you get to in your book is that there’s a few letters from people there, and one of the letters I quite enjoyed that there’s, there are some people who make a large part of their weekend, they plan to do things on their weekend that I would consider unusual, for example, planning to clean your freezer.James Valentine: Yeah. I just find that astonishing, that somebody would think is I’m wanting to clean my freezer and I’d like some hints about how to do that. And my suggestion is join a tennis club. Perhaps go bush walking. Have you ever been to an art gallery? Do anything but clean your freezer.Freezers can just sit there, can’t they? I wouldn’t clean the freezer if I was trying to sell the fridge. You just take it outside, it melts, it disappears. And that’s about it. Isn’t it. It would never occur to me to clean a freezer.Maynard: Naturally I have the whole thing of cleaning the freezer because I move about every 2 years.So the freezer cleans itself during the moving process?James Valentine: Exactly. In the days leading up to that move, you probably don’t need to shop either, because there’d be all sorts of frozen sausages that are suddenly emerging from the freezer. There’d be at least six fish fingers. There’d be a pizza base. That you’d long ago didn’t even know you had. You thought that was just the floor of the freezer.Maynard: You live like a king.James Valentine: You live like a king for three days until you move. But also a king that has days full of surprises. Oh my God, look what the freezer has thrown up. It’s like being in Siberia and finding a mammoth.Maynard: You do make a point of people that, that try and feel good about saving their leftover food by keeping their leftovers. And this is a two step process. One, it makes you feel good about the environment and the world and your ipo, and also you think you may be saving money.And I’ve found this to be a false societal conscience and a false economy. Your thoughts Mr. Valentine.James Valentine: Maynard, , this is a direct, direct experience from living with my wife Joanne, who does this, you order Green chicken curry. Green chicken curry comes, you eat about half of it and she puts it the takeaway container in the fridge, and you look at her and go, are you really gonna have that tomorrow?Are you really gonna have that green chicken curry for lunch tomorrow? She says, I might. And I know from 20 years experience, she won’t any later than about four o’clock the next day. She would take that outta the fridge and go, do you think this is all right to eat? And you’d go, yeah, it’s fine.She’d go I’m not sure. And then she might put it back. But it’s the last thing she wants to do is put it in the bin because A, she thinks that , all she hears is her mother saying there are starving children in Ethiopia, which is where they were starving when we were children, and now they are again.And then. She also thinks that somehow the mortgage will be paid if she puts that green chicken curry into the fridge for a while, that will help with the payments. I say straight into the bin and get rid of it.Maynard: And another way I find it interesting from your book here is the problem of mildew spots on old baby clothes. Now, I wouldn’t be aware this problem even existed.James Valentine: See if you’ve if you have children, this is a common question that you get, again, on the Shannon Lush sort of segment is where people ring up and say, I’ve got some old baby clothes and they’ve been in a bag for some years, and I’d like to clean them up.What should I do? I. What I find interesting in that question is that there’s this lovely, there’s a sentimental moment where your child grows out of the toddler clothes and you clean out a drawer and you think, oh, that’s a lovely piece. I’m going to keep that. And you put it away somewhere carefully. The question is, keep it. For what are you thinking at 18? You might pull it when the child’s 18. You might pull it out and look at it and go, this is what you wore as a toddler when that child has children of their own. You’ll pass on some then 25-year-old baby clothes. Are you just gonna get them out every now and again just to have a little look at one or two pieces?Certainly, a fine christening robe a lovely little outfit perhaps, but people keep a whole lot of this stuff with the idea that somehow they’re gonna do something with it. My general approach to mildew on the baby clothes is you should have got rid of that stuff a long time ago.Maynard: And what has been the reaction of the Shannon Lush and the whole crowd to to you taking the poodle out of the whole thing?James Valentine: They love it. They love it. How much does Shannon Lush love the fact that she’s gone from obscurity to nothing? Via my radio show and ABC books, she sold 600,000 copies of Spotless and Speed Cleaning and Comfy. Now she’s reached a point where she’s so popular and so well known, it’s worth my time satirising her. There is no greater compliment. None more than parody.Maynard: And one last question. What is the optimum length of time before changing the sheets on a bed?James Valentine: I think when when you can’t sleep, when it’s reached a point where you’re going, I really can’t sleep. But otherwise, up until then, if you’re getting in and you’re cozy, eh, why are you, what are you worried about?Maynard: So when the bed texture starts to resemble the Plains of Nazca, something like that.James valentine: You know it because you can’t quite get to sleep.Maynard: James Valentine, dirt up!James Valentine: That’s me. The post The Spotfull James Valentine. Free of domestic guilt. appeared first on Planet Maynard.

    7 мин.
  2. 24.01.2025

    Australia’s Coldest 100 – 2025

    Australia’s Coldest 100 returns for 2025 this Saturday 25th January with @ozkitsch presenting 100 tunes you won’t find easily anywhere on any continent. Just look at this list of artists that Andrew Sholl has curated that you’ll never again see in the same room. This is Andrew’s eighth Coldest 100 and he doesn’t see Farnham clips running out anytime soon. The 2025 Coldest 100 brings you Sophie Monk, Des O’Connor, Shirley Bassey, Charo, Johnathon Coleman and a singing chicken. That’s just for starters. Don’t like it? Then there is a rough end of a banana for you. After all, anyone can put together a list of the latest hottest tracks. It takes a certain kind of expert like Andrew Sholl to put together 100 songs of Australian musical shock for 8 years in a row now. “Things don’t always turn out the way they were intended…” Andrew Sholl It will all be going down on Saturday 25th January on X and Instagram @Ozkitsch Andrew Sholl shows no sign of ever stopping his annual festival of Aussie awkwardness. . Look and listen to The Coldest 100 2020 Look and listen to The Coldest 100 2021 Maynard plays you some video clips from The Coldest 100 2022 Maynard plays you some video clips from The Coldest 100 2023 Maynard plays you yet more video clips from The Coldest 100 2024 Johnathan Coleman sings the Aussie classics on Sounds. Des O’Connor with Reeves & Mortimer (and their frypan) Australia’s Coldest 100, 2025. What a bunch of spunks! The post Australia’s Coldest 100 – 2025 appeared first on Planet Maynard.

    20 мин.
  3. 22.01.2025

    Happy 50th Birthday Triple J !

    Triple J staff celebrated 50 years of Triple J on Sunday 19th January. Even the ABC itself did the same thing later that day. Hear from Rusty Nails, Dr Karl, Sarah Macdonald, Craig Donarski, Andy Marinos, Dame Lush, Hannah Thompson and other ex ABC staff and current Triple J listeners. The expectant crowd at ABC Ultimo await a tight set of 15 minutes of stand up comedy from the Prime Minister. Here’s what happened at the Triple J 40th staff party… Maynard Triple J Breakfast show 1989 Here’s a transcript of what transpired this time, at the 50th….Rusty Nails: An audio dildo!Maynard: At Triple J’s 50th birthday, and who’s the first guy I run into … drinking a cup of coffee! Is there anything in that Rusty Nails?Rusty: Just coffee this morning, Maynard, I’ve got some serious professional work to do.M: What year of Triple J are you covering?Rusty: I’m covering the 79 to 85-ish era, which is sort of like the Uncle Doug Mulray, Jono and Dano, Off The Record, and the J Team of course, and the Oils on the Water.M: How come commercial radio never snapped you up from your breakfast show at Triple J?Rusty: I was probably too rebellious. I did actually, funnily enough, talk to Trevor Smith at one point. He said, “Nothing wrong with your talent, but we don’t like your voice, it’s not Aussie enough.”M: Everyone knows that when an English guy speaks there’s authority. Or he’s a geezer, it’s either one or the other.Rusty: Oh, I’m a geezer.M: What do you reckon has been the greatest moment of Triple J over the last 50 years?Rusty: At this fiftieth, I’m proud to announce that I’ve almost finished writing, no, not finished, but I’ve almost finished writing my book for my daughter, and it’s called “Dear Emily, Extraordinary Moments in an Ordinary Life”, and it’ll be on the bookshelves by Christmas.M: I’ll look forward to that. Why do you think there’s never been a book about Triple J? Is it too complicated?Rusty: Well, there was one …M: Toby Cresswell was supposed to write one.Rusty: But there was that Twenty years of Double J and Triple J. They never reprinted it.M: All David Wales’ artwork through it, too.Rusty: It had the wonderful stories like Russell Gay answering the phone to the General at Victoria Barracks.M: I tell you what, Rusty, because I’ve got a lot of reel to reel tape, which I recorded stuff on, at the end of it, there was stuff that I hadn’t recorded over. And I’ve heard a lot of your unedited interviews, one with the Homecoming Queen’s got a Gun, Julie. I’ve got your interview with Julie Brown!Rusty: Wow! Unfortunately, I lost a mass of tapes moving continent to continent and stuff, but I think I might even have a Yahoo Serious interview somewhere.M: What’s the song for you that epitomises your time at Triple J?Rusty: Oh, shit. I suppose it’s gotta be when we were doing the Breakfast Program and Midnight Oil came in and world premiered their Place Without a Postcard album.M: Well, you have your coffee and I look forward to seeing you on stage, Rusty.Rusty: Yeah, yeah.M: Now, remember when you say you’re finished, wait for the applause to die down before you tell them what you finished.Rusty: Can I dance with you later Maynard?M: I hope so. See you, Rusty.Rusty: See you, Maynard. Maynard: So over the years, you’ve got all the people you hear on the radio, but then you’ve got the people who make you hear the people that you hear on the radio, like Scott. Scott, you were the technical guy. You did everything, really. You, at one stage, held up the antenna during a rainstorm.Scott Wyatt: Yeah, well.M: The transmitting mast.Scott: Of course!M: What was the most challenging thing about being a tech guy trying to run around with a bunch of ninnies at Triple J and Double J?Scott: I don’t think anything was too challenging, it was a wonderful experience.M: Technology wasn’t like it is now. Like, everyone just goes through the phone line now, but if you wanted to go through the phone line to do an OB, then it was like a thousand bucks or something, wasn’t it, from Telecom?Scott: Yeah, you had to pay the money, yeah.M: Or the PMG.Scott: And turn up and find the little cable with the tag on it, and ring up the Telecom people.M: Were you the guy that recorded Village People at the Hordern?Scott: No, not me.M: Oh, wow, OK, because I know, I’m going to find that person, shake his hand. I hope you don’t find a tag that costs you a thousand dollars today.Scott: Yeah, well, hopefully. Maynard: We’ve got Murdo here, Murdo McLeod. What do you reckon would be the song that says 50 years of Triple J for you?Murdo: Oh, going back to The Psychotic Turnbuckles. That was of an era. There weren’t too many bands like that at the time.M: Hey, do you think it’s really odd that there are no actual ABC cameras or recorders here today? Because this was put on by the staff.Murdo: I know, I think it’s very much representative of what the ABC is these days. It’s a pity, because it is an era that changed Australia to some extent. Helped highlight the fact that we could be independent thinking. Maynard: So we’ve got members of the public and ex-employees like Ms Lush.Dame Lush: That’s Dame Lush to you.M: I imagine it would be. What do you reckon is the song from 50 years of Triple J that goes “Yeah, that’s the Triple J song that I liked”.Dame Lush: “You Just Like Me ‘Cos I’m Good in Bed”.M: That’s the one they started with. Not even “Balwyn Calling”?Dame Lush: That comes later.M: What do you think Triple J means these days, after 50 years?Dame Lush: Well, I’m hoping it means the same thing: an introduction to life, society, good music, and just generally dancing your t**s off.M: Do you remember the first time that you listened?Dame Lush: I don’t remember those days.M: I remember hearing it in Newcastle, because it was on after midnight on Radio National. And I think we’re going to hear some interesting history today. Have a good day! Maynard: Well, we’re here at the official function now, which is at the ABC building in Ultimo, one that brings back many memories to me. And with me is someone else who brings back many memories, and that would be Craig Donarski. Hi, Craig!Craig Donarski: Thanks, Maynard.M: What do you reckon is going to go on? This is the official one, this is the proper one, this is the boring one, although it’s much better catered.Craig: Oh, yeah. The quality of their food is much higher than the staff organised one that we’ve just been at for the last five hours.Andy Nehl: I like the staff food!Maynard: We’ve got Andy Nehl here. Look, and since you two know a lot that spread over there is better than anything I ever saw at any Triple J function when I was there.Andy Nehl: Oh, it’s true.M: Yeah, so why has the ABC got into catering now?Andy: Because the federal government doesn’t give them enough money.M: Very good point. So what’s your best memory being with Triple J, Andy Nehl, being the manager during a very tumultuous time? Was it being egged in St Kilda?Andy: You remember that? Wow!M: Yeah, because I felt so sorry for you. Because back in those days there was no one to put up Radio that Bites posters.Andy: That’s right. I was sticking up posters on telegraph poles down bloody Ackland Street in St Kilda. And some idiots drove past in a car and threw eggs at me.M: And it was like 11.30 at night, and you’d been going since the morning, and you’d been putting posters up, and it was like you thought, well, f*****g great.Andy: F*****g good memory, Maynard!M: I really felt for you because you’ve been working hard.Andy: Great fun launch that Melbourne line.M: Oh, yeah, and also when everyone was chanting “B******t!” at you in the lower Town Hall too. I hadn’t seen that footage before and I thought oh …Andy: I was just trying to get out what I wanted to say. Eventually I got it out over the top of a bit of b******t.M: What’s your one song you remember from the time of Triple J that sums up a lot.Andy: When we were gonna start going as a national network, I thought, what song are we gonna start with as far as something that was trying to make a statement with what we were starting with? We commissioned Bart Willoughby, who was an Aboriginal musician, had been from No Fixed Address, has currently had a band then called Mixed Relations. We commissioned Bart to write a song for the station. It was recorded in Studio 221, called “Take It or Leave It”. That was the first song on air on Triple J in Melbourne, Perth, Darwin, Adelaide, Newcastle, Hobart and Brisbane.M: And let’s just correct a bit of George Orwell-ness that went on with the Adelaide launch. The first words spoken on air were, “This is not a f*****g test transmission” by Tony Biggs. Not “This is not a test transmission.” as reported by the Adelaide Advertiser.Andy: Yeah. And, as I kind of mentioned earlier on, about four or five songs in, Tony Biggs did the launch, there was a big build up, they do the launch, and about four or five songs in Tony Biggs plays “Too Drunk to F**k” by the Dead Kennedys. And I’m kind of standing around there talking with David Hill and Malcolm Long and, and the South Australian Premier.M: All the cool kids.Andy: Oh something like that. And I hear in the background, oh, Biggs is playing “Too Drunk To F**k”. But they never even notice. No one even f*****g noticed Biggs played “Too Drunk To F**k” at about song four. But then, two or three months later, they notice “F**k tha Police”. Even though it had been on air there over the whole time.M: Triple J was overplaying that at that time, we’d kind of gone past playing it.Andy: That’s right. That’s right.M: Andy, have a good day here and nothing stops you. You’ve had a whole crowd shouting b******t at you.Andy: Yeah.M: Thank you, Andy!Andy: Thanks, Maynard!M: And the

    24 мин.
  4. 23.07.2024

    George Hrab is a dancin’ fool.

    In the Thermopylae of modern life, occasionally you encounter someone who is beyond a journeyman, way past a Renaissance man. In fact, George Hrab has gone straight through the Renaissance, leapt over the Napoleonic Wars, and now has his head currently right up the Jazz Age. I first met and listened to George Hrab in 2010 when he was still a teenager. His podcast, The Geologic Podcast, once you get over the fact he never once mentioned, uh, igneous rocks, it’s actually a pretty good bath time listing. His latest funk fest of an album, Terpsichore, despite being named after the Olivia Newton John character in Xanadu, has not one single reference to roller skating. Terpsichore album cover. Possibly not George Hrab’s tootsies. Maynard: In fact, there is a mystery about your album that you’ve deliberately put in there. There’s a secret involved. George: There is, there’s a little bit of a puzzle throughout my history of listening to records and you always get these myths and these urban legends arise. Did Pink Floyd consciously synchronize Dark Side of the Moon with The Wizard of Oz? Because when you put those two on at the same time, a lot of interesting coincidences happen. Was this foreplanned? Was it on purpose? Usually the answer is no. So I wanted to have something not quite as trippy as that, but I wanted to have something incorporated into the album that was a purposeful kind of puzzle. So far, only one person has figured it out. M: Well, you can jump that number up to two because I have figured it out, George. G: Have you? M : First I thought, okay, it’s something about the time signature in the linking rhythms between the tracks. Then I thought, no, it’s obvious. You’ve basically redone Duran Duran’s Rio album. G: I can’t answer if you’re right or not, you know, I don’t want to give it away to the audience, but that’s a damn good answer. That’s a damn good answer… “Very smart people being very silly is incredibly appealing to me.” – Geo George Hrab in the nudie. From the cover of his Interrobang album, 2005. Still a hottie today. George’s album at Bandcamp George Hrab’s podcast George’s YouTube channel Last time George was on the show Bond, Bee Gees und more The post George Hrab is a dancin’ fool. appeared first on Planet Maynard.

    48 мин.
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Maynard from Australia. Take a journey through pop culture with no clear purpose or destination. Always shameless.