Please Say The Dailey

Vanisha R. Dailey

Please Say The Dailey is hosted by Vanisha R. Dailey, a sociologist and cultural commentator exploring queer identity, community, and the social systems that shape everyday life. Through research-informed conversation and cultural analysis, the show examines sexuality, digital culture, sustainability, and the norms we take for granted—bridging lived experience and sociological insight.

  1. 12/19/2025

    How Sexual Identity Labels Fail Contemporary Queer Life

    In this episode of Please Say The Dailey, sociologist and host Vanisha R. Dailey slows down a conversation that’s been circulating heavily online — particularly around studs, “straight women,” and who gets to be considered legitimately queer. Rather than leading with hot takes, this episode looks at what these debates reveal about belonging, sexuality, and the ways queer communities sometimes reproduce conditional acceptance instead of care. Pulling from sociological research, queer theory, and lived community experience, Vanisha explores how identity develops over time, why bisexual and questioning people are often erased, and what happens when queerness becomes something you have to prove to others. This is not an episode about labels for the sake of labels.  It’s about legitimacy, relational care, and what our communities lose when identity turns into a test. The “studs and straight women” discourse and what it actually revealsHow sexuality develops over time, not on a fixed timelineWhy belonging in queer spaces often becomes conditionalBi-erasure and the emotional cost of legitimacy testingHow digital platforms intensify identity policingWhat relational care looks like beyond labelsReferenced frameworks & thinkers (for listeners who want to go deeper): Judith Butler — identity as performative (Gender Trouble)Minority Stress Theory (Ilan Meyer)Research on bi-erasure and mental health disparitiesSociological perspectives on belonging and legitimacy🎙️ Please Say The Dailey is a podcast exploring sociology, culture, sexuality, and community. Read the full episode script here: [link] Send me a text! Become a supporter of the show! Support the show Thank you for visiting! Vanisha R. Dailey, Please Say The Dailey SayTheDailey@gmail.com Become A Supporter Of The Show: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2452408/support Instagram: @VanishaRDailey Love the music playing on my podcast? Check out the talented @StrBabyJackson on Instagram and thank me later!

    22 min
  2. 12/04/2025

    'Tis the Season for Shaming People That Celebrate Holidays and Feed Capitalism!

    Follow Me on Substack: https://vanishardailey.substack.com/about 12/04/25 In this episode of Please Say The Dailey, Vanisha talks about the controversial topic of how holiday celebrations are often tied to consumerism and capitalism. She discusses why some people feel judged or ostracized for “participating” in holidays, even when their celebration is rooted in family, joy, or tradition rather than consumer excess. She questions whether holiday-shaming is ever actually justified and what role capitalism plays in shaping our holiday behaviors and feelings of guilt. Whether you love or hate the holidays, this conversation offers a chance to reflect on celebration, societal pressure, consumer culture, and personal choice. Transcript: You are now tuned in to Vanisha R. Dailey. Please say the Dailey. Hey, hey, y'all. Welcome back to another episode of Please Say the Dailey. I am your host, Vanisha R. Daile y, and this is episode 15. Today we are going to be diving into a topic that comes up every single year. We are currently in the thick of holiday season, so I'm hoping that this message catches you at the perfect time. So, like I said, this comes up every single year, especially online, and that's the conversation around capitalism, the holidays, and this growing trend of shaming people for how they choose to celebrate them. And listen, as someone that studies sociology, I absolutely believe in using our voices as a means of activism, especially when we're calling attention to systems we've normalized. These are systems that heavily exploit us. But here's the thing, we have to be careful about how the message comes off. Because a message about liberation can easily turn into a message about moral superiority. And that's not helpful to anybody. But wait, before we jump in, go ahead and make sure that you are subscribed. Let's get into it. Let's start with what capitalism is. Capitalism is an economic system where private individuals or corporations control production. Goods and services are bought and sold for profit, and economic life centers around markets rather than communal or state ownership. Its foundations are competition, private property, wage labor, and unequal power dynamics. Historically, capitalism evolved alongside of European colonial expansion, racial hierarchy, and extraction-based economies. We're seeing this happen all across the world. And this means that from the beginning, capitalism grew by exploiting land, labor, and resources, especially the labor of enslaved Africans. So when we talk about capitalism today, we're not just talking about shopping at Target, which we do not, by the way. We're talking about a system with deep roots in colonialism, slavery, and inequality. So what systems are a part of capitalism? Unfortunately, everything. But more specifically, our financial system, the labor system, education system, housing, health care, agriculture, and food distribution, media, entertainment, technology, policing, and the prison industrial complex. Capitalism shapes how we work, how we live, rest, and even how we celebrate. Which brings us back to the holidays. Every year without fail, people hop on social media to Send me a text! Become a supporter of the show! Support the show Thank you for visiting! Vanisha R. Dailey, Please Say The Dailey SayTheDailey@gmail.com Become A Supporter Of The Show: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2452408/support Instagram: @VanishaRDailey Love the music playing on my podcast? Check out the talented @StrBabyJackson on Instagram and thank me later!

    20 min
  3. 11/19/2025

    Why So Many Adults Feel Lonely, and What We Can Do About It

    In this insightful episode, Vanisha R. Dailey discusses the complex reasons why so many adults experience loneliness—even when they are surrounded by people. Drawing on recent data from the Pew Research Center, Vanisha speaks on how modern life, technology, shifting social norms, and internal hurdles (like self-perception and communication style) all play a role. She also brings in practical strategies for reconnecting: from building intentional friendships and deepening emotional intimacy, to small daily shifts that can break cycles of isolation. Whether you are feeling disconnected post-work, navigating relationship changes, or simply longing for more meaningful connection, this episode offers both empathy and actionable steps to help you find your way. Substack Chat: Subscribe-- have access to the chat and get my newsletter directly to your e-mail. You hear it first!  https://vanishardailey.substack.com/chat Myleik Teele: "You're Bored, Because You're Boring..." https://open.substack.com/pub/myleik/p/youre-bored-because-youre-boring?r=1u99qo&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false Pew Study: https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2025/01/16/men-women-and-social-connections/ Personality Test: https://www.16personalities.com/ Send me a text! Become a supporter of the show! Click Here For My Discount! https://staygoldenhi.com/?snowball=VANISHA55980&utm_source=snowball&utm_medium=all-tier-0-30&utm_campaign=VANISHA55980 Support the show Thank you for visiting! Vanisha R. Dailey, Please Say The Dailey SayTheDailey@gmail.com Become A Supporter Of The Show: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2452408/support Instagram: @VanishaRDailey Love the music playing on my podcast? Check out the talented @StrBabyJackson on Instagram and thank me later!

    27 min
  4. 09/10/2025

    Breaking Down Bisexuality: Myths and Realities

    In this episode, Vanisha R. Dailey explores the complexities of sexuality, focusing on bisexuality and the societal challenges faced by bisexual individuals. She discusses the importance of bisexual awareness, the history of Bi Visibility Day, and the misconceptions surrounding bisexuality. The conversation delves into the impact of heteronormativity and cultural hegemony on sexual identity, as well as the unique struggles faced by bisexual people. Vanisha shares personal reflections on her own sexual identity and emphasizes the importance of community and living authentically. --------------------- Click Here For My Stay Golden Hawaii Discount Code https://staygoldenhi.com/?snowball=VANISHA55980&utm_source=snowball&utm_medium=all-tier-0-30&utm_campaign=VANISHA55980 Velasco, J., Miranda-Tena, A. & Sanmartín, F.J. Bisexual Discrimination, Internalized Binegativity and their Impact on Mental Health. Sex Res Soc Policy 21, 1100–1111 (2024). https://doi.org/10.1007/s13178-024-00990-9 https://guides.library.unt.edu/LGBTQ/biweek https://eige.europa.eu/publications-resources/thesaurus/terms/1384#:~:text=Additional%20notes%20and%20information,superior%20to%20homosexuality%20or%20bisexuality. Queerness in Nature https://equalitytexas.org/blog/queerness-in-nature-is-all-around-us/ Send me a text! Become a supporter of the show! Support the show Thank you for visiting! Vanisha R. Dailey, Please Say The Dailey SayTheDailey@gmail.com Become A Supporter Of The Show: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2452408/support Instagram: @VanishaRDailey Love the music playing on my podcast? Check out the talented @StrBabyJackson on Instagram and thank me later!

    22 min
  5. 08/25/2025

    The Privilege of Silence and A Discussion on Americans Moving Abroad.

    Vanisha R. Dailey shares her experiences starting grad school and reflects on the challenges of balancing academic demands with personal life. She discusses the impact of noise and privilege, drawing parallels to the experiences of those living in war zones. The conversation shifts to the current political climate, exploring themes of authoritarianism and activism. Vanisha also addresses the complexities of relocating abroad, financial realities, and the importance of travel preparedness. The episode concludes with a call to action for listeners to support the podcast and take care of their mental health. Links and Information Featured Yani "The Mirakle Messenger"- Instagram @YaniMeansPeace https://www.instagram.com/yanimeanspeace/?hl=en Yasiin Bey (Mos Def) Clip https://x.com/african_stream/status/1747947315954864370?s=46  The Cutting Room Floor Episode featuring Yasiin Bey (Mos Def) https://www.patreon.com/posts/96233372?collection=365502 Poverty Study https://www.brookings.edu/articles/how-many-are-in-need-in-the-us-the-poverty-rate-is-the-tip-of-the-iceberg/ Economics https://econofact.org/factbrief/is-there-a-consensus-that-a-majority-of-americans-are-living-paycheck-to-paycheck#:~:text=No,%2C%20who%2C%20where%2C%20why? https://www.marketwatch.com/financial-guides/banking/paycheck-to-paycheck-statistics/#:~:text=Paycheck%20to%20Paycheck%20by%20Generation&text=Seventy%2Dtwo%20percent%20of%20Gen,likely%20to%20say%20they%20do. War Zone Study https://www.acep.org/imports/clinical-and-practice-management/resources/ems-and-disaster-preparedness/disaster-preparedness-grant-projects/cdc---blast-injury/cdc-blast-injury-fact-sheets/bombings-and-mental-health Send me a text! Become a supporter of the show! Support the show Thank you for visiting! Vanisha R. Dailey, Please Say The Dailey SayTheDailey@gmail.com Become A Supporter Of The Show: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2452408/support Instagram: @VanishaRDailey Love the music playing on my podcast? Check out the talented @StrBabyJackson on Instagram and thank me later!

    22 min
5
out of 5
26 Ratings

About

Please Say The Dailey is hosted by Vanisha R. Dailey, a sociologist and cultural commentator exploring queer identity, community, and the social systems that shape everyday life. Through research-informed conversation and cultural analysis, the show examines sexuality, digital culture, sustainability, and the norms we take for granted—bridging lived experience and sociological insight.