Election Profit Makers

  1. 4d ago

    Episode 384: UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER NOW!!!

    Jon gets poetic solving a cryptic crossword clue. David introduces a two-step plan to heal the world. Support us on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/electionprofitmakers Tickets for the GET YOUR WAR ON 25th anniversary show: http://bit.ly/getyourwaron25 Send questions and comments to contact@electionprofitmakers.com Watch David's show DICKTOWN on Hulu http://bit.ly/dicktown Follow Jon on Bluesky http://bit.ly/bIuesky

  2. Sep 15

    Episode 383: Could The $5,000 Trump Dividend Help Americans' Pain At The Pump? Our Experts Weigh In.

    Jon wonders if the president's political instincts are finally fading. David is excited to run out of missiles. Support us on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/electionprofitmakers Send questions and comments to contact@electionprofitmakers.com GET YOUR WAR ON 25th ANNIVERSARY SHOW: http://bit.ly/getyourwaron25 Watch David's show DICKTOWN on Hulu http://bit.ly/dicktown Follow Jon on Bluesky http://bit.ly/bIuesky

  3. Sep 8

    Episode 382: Dan Brown International Airport (DBI)

    Jon thinks things are quiet ... maybe too quiet. David ponders the RNC midterm convention. Support us on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/electionprofitmakers Send questions and comments to contact@electionprofitmakers.com GET YOUR WAR ON live show tickets: http://bit.ly/getyourwaron25 Watch David's show DICKTOWN on Hulu http://bit.ly/dicktown Follow Jon on Bluesky http://bit.ly/bIuesky

  4. Sep 4

    Episode 381: Patreon Episode PREVIEW: Tree Canopy Percentages -- Reconciling Data And Vibes

    Jon compares (and critiques) tree canopy data for 250+ American cities and towns. Join our Patreon to hear the full episode! https://www.patreon.com/electionprofitmakers

  5. Sep 1

    Episode 380: Could Hasan Piker Name Five Choreographers?

    Jon wants to bring his wi-fi router to the G20 Ministerial meeting in Chapel Hill. David tries to remember the names of Sarah Palin's kids. Support us on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/electionprofitmakers Send questions and comments to contact@electionprofitmakers.com Watch David's show DICKTOWN on Hulu http://bit.ly/dicktown Follow Jon on Bluesky http://bit.ly/bIuesky

  6. Aug 25

    Episode 379: I Never Want To Bring You Anything But Joy

    David celebrates Natalie Harp. Jon mourns his lost almanacs. Support us on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/electionprofitmakers Send questions and comments to contact@electionprofitmakers.com Watch David's show DICKTOWN on Hulu http://bit.ly/dicktown Follow Jon on Bluesky http://bit.ly/bIuesky

  7. Aug 21

    Episode 378: Patreon Episode PREVIEW: Where Are The Centers Of The States?

    Jon shares his research about determining the centers of all 50 U.S. states! Join our Patreon to hear the full episode! https://www.patreon.com/electionprofitmakers

  8. Aug 18

    Episode 377: Introductory Analysis Of Aircraft Carrier Logistics For The Modern Warfighter

    David explains what an aircraft carrier is. Jon remembers visiting the yacht of a man who was later killed by drug dealers. Support us on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/electionprofitmakers Send questions and comments to contact@electionprofitmakers.com Watch David's show DICKTOWN on Hulu http://bit.ly/dicktown Follow Jon on Bluesky http://bit.ly/bIuesky

  9. Aug 11

    Episode 376: Reflecting Pool Reflections

    Support us on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/electionprofitmakers Send questions and comments to contact@electionprofitmakers.com Watch David's show DICKTOWN on Hulu http://bit.ly/dicktown Follow Jon on Bluesky http://bit.ly/bIuesky

  10. Apr 7

    Episode 375: The Tell-Tale Apostrophe

    This is our last episode until the midterms! Support us on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/electionprofitmakers Send questions and comments to contact@electionprofitmakers.com Watch David's show DICKTOWN on Hulu http://bit.ly/dicktown Follow Jon on Bluesky http://bit.ly/bIuesky

  11. Mar 31

    Episode 374: Biblically Accurate Vice Presidents

    Jon celebrates a big Duke loss. David talks about the X-Men. Support us on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/electionprofitmakers Send questions and comments to contact@electionprofitmakers.com Watch David's show DICKTOWN on Hulu http://bit.ly/dicktown Follow Jon on Bluesky http://bit.ly/bIuesky

  12. Mar 24

    Episode 373: Ezekiel 6:14

    Jon and David discuss whether UNC coach Hubert Davis could be the next DHS secretary. Support us on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/electionprofitmakers Send questions and comments to contact@electionprofitmakers.com Watch David's show DICKTOWN on Hulu http://bit.ly/dicktown Follow Jon on Bluesky http://bit.ly/bIuesky

  13. Mar 17

    Episode 372: They Could Just Put The Oil In The Shoes

    David celebrates illegal speech acts. Jon considers a listener's new method of ranking skylines. Support us on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/electionprofitmakers Send questions and comments to contact@electionprofitmakers.com Watch David's show DICKTOWN on Hulu http://bit.ly/dicktown Follow Jon on Bluesky http://bit.ly/bIuesky

  14. Mar 10

    Episode 371: Let's Brainstorm Ideas To Lower Gas Prices

    David reads Australian cicada names. Jon reviews War dot Gov. Support us on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/electionprofitmakers Send questions and comments to contact@electionprofitmakers.com Watch David's show DICKTOWN on Hulu http://bit.ly/dicktown Follow Jon on Bluesky http://bit.ly/bIuesky

  15. Mar 4

    Episode 370: A Celebration Of Operation Epic Fury And America's Warrior Ethos

    Jon and David discuss the newest ridiculous event. Support us on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/electionprofitmakers Send questions and comments to contact@electionprofitmakers.com Watch David's show DICKTOWN on Hulu http://bit.ly/dicktown Follow Jon on Bluesky http://bit.ly/bIuesky

  16. Feb 25

    Episode 369: The State Of Our Union Is Basically Kash Patel Chugging Beer In An Italian Locker Room

    Jon and David prepare for the big stupid speech. Support us on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/electionprofitmakers Send questions and comments to contact@electionprofitmakers.com Watch David's show DICKTOWN on Hulu http://bit.ly/dicktown Follow Jon on Bluesky http://bit.ly/bIuesky

  17. Feb 18

    Episode 368: A Quick Survey Of Bipedalism, Hindlimbs, And Forelimbs In Elite American Mammals

    EPM pivots to animal physiology. We appreciate your Patreon support https://www.patreon.com/electionprofitmakers Send questions and comments to contact@electionprofitmakers.com Watch David's show DICKTOWN on Hulu http://bit.ly/dicktown Follow Jon on Bluesky http://bit.ly/bIuesky

  18. Feb 11

    Episode 367: From the EPM Patreon Archives: Field Recording Of Weaver Dairy Frog Pond

    This is a recording of an artificial pond on Weaver Dairy Road in Chapel Hill. It was recorded after a big summer storm in July 2023. Support EPM on Patreon at http://patreon.com/electionprofitmakers Send your questions or comments to contact@electionprofitmakers.com Watch David's show DICKTOWN on Hulu http://bit.ly/dicktown Follow Jon on Bluesky http://bit.ly/bIuesky

  19. Feb 3

    Episode 366: From the EPM Patreon Archives: Tournament of Number Songs

    What is the best song about numbers? Support us on Patreon at http://patreon.com/electionprofitmakers Send your questions or comments to contact@electionprofitmakers.com Watch David's show DICKTOWN on Hulu http://bit.ly/dicktown Follow Jon on Bluesky http://bit.ly/bIuesky

  20. Jan 27

    Episode 365: A Celebration Of Minor League Baseball Team Names And Stadiums

    Enjoy this feel-good classic from the EPM Patreon archives. Support us on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/electionprofitmakers Send questions and comments to contact@electionprofitmakers.com Watch David's show DICKTOWN on Hulu http://bit.ly/dicktown Follow Jon on Bluesky http://bit.ly/bIuesky

  21. Jan 14

    Announcement

    Taking some time off

  22. 12/31/2025

    Episode 363: My Desires Are Human

    Jon summarizes the year in municipal wetness. David watches TV for eight hours straight. Support us on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/electionprofitmakers Send questions and comments to contact@electionprofitmakers.com Watch David's show DICKTOWN on Hulu http://bit.ly/dicktown Follow Jon on Bluesky http://bit.ly/bIuesky

  23. 12/23/2025

    Episode 362: Jon’s 100 Questions

    David marvels at Epstein’s legs. Jon shares a profound document from 30 years ago. Support us on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/electionprofitmakers Send questions and comments to contact@electionprofitmakers.com Watch David's show DICKTOWN on Hulu http://bit.ly/dicktown Follow Jon on Bluesky http://bit.ly/bIuesky

  24. 12/09/2025

    Episode 361: The Emptiness Economy

    Jon celebrates his favorite animal. David remembers an important moment at Clearwater Lake. Support us on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/electionprofitmakers Send questions and comments to contact@electionprofitmakers.com Watch David's show DICKTOWN on Hulu http://bit.ly/dicktown Follow Jon on Bluesky http://bit.ly/bIuesky

  25. 12/02/2025

    Episode 360: The Driest Place’s Wettest November

    Jon does some gumshoe reporting about rainfall. David challenges A.I. with his human-centered poetry. Support us on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/electionprofitmakers Send questions and comments to contact@electionprofitmakers.com Watch David's show DICKTOWN on Hulu http://bit.ly/dicktown Follow Jon on Bluesky http://bit.ly/bIuesky